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Home » Rick and Morty » S06E03 — Bethic Twinstinct

Rick and Morty

Season 6, Episode 3 — Bethic Twinstinct

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Rick and Morty
Episode title: Bethic Twinstinct
Air date: September 18, 2022
Director: Douglas Einar Olsen
Top billed cast: Justin Roiland, Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, Sarah Chalke
Gotta love yourself or no one else ever will, broh.
Source: TMDB
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Oh my god, I cannot fucking believe this, here we fucking go!
believecannotfucking
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Jeez!
jeez
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Pardon the interruption. We are once again in the federal clear.
clearfederalpardon
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Rick what the hell? Are you a Turkey Dracula now?
dracularickturkey
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Morty, is that a Pooplickian GamePod?
morty
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Actually it’s the GamePod XL.
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They say it’s the most realistic video game console ever.
consolegamerealisticvideovideo-game
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- I never got you that. - Space Mom did.
space
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She’s in for the holiday weekend. Remember?
holidayrememberweekend
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Shit, in that case, let’s go,
case
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- let’s get out of h... - I heard you smack the glass, Dad,
glassheardsmack
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- if you bail, I’ll disown you! - I’d say don’t hop through a portal.
bailportal
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But wait, you can’t.
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Look at it this way, Morty.
morty
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Life is a subscription and Thanksgiving is your family’s yearly charge.
chargefamilyslifethanksgiving
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Wow Dad, good job.
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Rick, put some pants on. Today has so few rules.
pantsrickrulestoday
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Yes, Patriarch.
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I’d like to make a toast. Today is a day for thanks. And for family.
familythankstoasttoday
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And for remembering all of those that have less.
lessremembering
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- Okay, pick a scope. - Pick a scope?
pick
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- Can we please have a normal Thanksgiving? - Well seems like all the ones I remember.
normalonesrememberseemsthanksgiving
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Good point.
point
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Baby, you, it’s a toast.
babytoast
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- Sorry! - Sorry!
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Anyway, I’m thankful for my wife. Beth. The Beth that chose me.
bethchosethankfulwife
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I’m so grateful to you, and I literally could not live without you.
gratefullive
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I really mean that. If something were to happen to you,
happen
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or if you were to leave me, or be unfaithful, I would die.
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Literally. Probably by my own hand.
hand
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- Okay. - I know how I’d do it.
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Our first blender has an extra long cord
blendercordextra
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and it was manufactured before safety fuses, so I’d draw a warm bath...
bathdrawsafetywarm
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And blend some stuff, good toast, honey. To thankfulness.
blendhoneystufftoast
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- To... America? - To ending the toast?
americaendingtoast
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- To ending the toast. - To ending the toast.
endingtoast
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Just to, be clear, I was saying I’d kill myself.
clearkill
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- God. - God, we know.
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but I know you’re just a scared little overachiever that keeps all her OCD right.
keepsscared
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- My God. - Yeah.
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By the way you better be taking notes, I’m next.
notes
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- It’s my back you dumb bitch. - Nice.
bitchdumbdumb-bitch
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What?
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- Well I better get back to bed. - Same
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So now you’re into highly realistic video games?
gameshighlyrealisticvideovideo-games
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Maybe I decided real life was too much right now
decidedliferealreal-life
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or maybe I’m not afraid to change my mind about stuff,
afraidchangemindstuff
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maybe mental flexibility is stronger than stubbornness.
mentalstronger
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Nice manip’, Sum-Sum. Okay, I’m in the alley behind the library.
alleybehindlibrary
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- Uptown or downtown? - Shit, there’s one uptown, too?
downtownuptown
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It’s okay, stay there, I think I’m near the red line.
linenear
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- Is this Street Fighter? - Street Fighter where you start
fighterstartstreet
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at the beginning of each fighter’s day and have to find each other to fight.
beginningfightfighters
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It’s very realistic. Not even guaranteed a fight will happen.
fightguaranteedhappenrealistic
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That meter filling up is us forgetting what made us so mad.
fillingforgettingmeter
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If anyone’s interested in a higher level of realism, I’m “booting up” the O.G.
anyoneshigherinterestedlevel
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That’s Original Game, called a jigsaw puzzle, in the den.
calledgameoriginalpuzzle
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Hey, gang! Me and my space self are gonna make a run to the Gloppy Drop System
dropgangselfspacesystem
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for ice cream. Any flavor requests?
creamflavorrequests
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- Vanilla! - Vanilla!
vanilla
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Why do you guys have to go all the way to deep space just for ice cream?
creamdeepspace
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Gloppy Dropulites have less taste buds than humans,
budshumanslesstaste
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their ice cream is like a hospital bed,
creamhospital
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it’s designed for you to do less so it does more.
designedless
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Okay see ya in a bit.
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I’ll get started sorting all the obvious sky pieces. Secret technique.
obviouspiecessecretstartedtechnique
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- Oh fuck it’s ON, bitch! - Oh shit there you are!
bitchfuck
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- I’m gonna eat your ass. - You will die in the street like a dog!
street
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Stunning.
stunning
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Thank you. This is incredible.
incredible
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Just glad I had something in your size.
gladsize
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How far is Gloppy Drop? And why do I always think I’m wearing a watch?
dropwatchwearing
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I actually have a pint of Gloppy Drop on a little apartment orbiting Earth.
apartmentdropearthpint
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- So we have time. - You have your own space station?
spacestation
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We have our own space station. We’re the same person.
personspacestation
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There’s differences. Like, one of us has no idea who she really is.
differencesidea
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Wrong. But let’s make a deal.
deal
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Let’s trust ourselves enough to stop wondering who we are when we’re together.
trustwondering
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We get to say anything to each other.
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Things we’d never say to anyone else, even ourselves.
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What don’t we say to ourselves?
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How about my ass looks good in that space suit.
spacesuit
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I mean it. I’m a good looking woman.
lookingwoman
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Well that’s nice of you to say.
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I also... find myself... quite attractive.
attractive
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We forgot the ice cream.
creamforgot
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I want you back in my guts like I’m one of your sick little fillies.
gutssick
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Goddammit, Morty! You can’t just take my controller.
controllergoddammitmorty
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Yes I can! It’s mine.
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- Okay, Sum-Sum, gimme. - Make your own controller,
controller
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some of us need all the control we can get.
control
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Fuck you!
fuck
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So why are you so suddenly into realistic video games?
gamesrealisticsuddenlyvideovideo-games
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- I already was. - But now you’re into them the way I am.
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You mean like staring at them in a numb trance.
numbstaring
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Not judging, just noticing.
judgingnoticing
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You tend to notice stuff a little before I do.
noticestufftend
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But eventually you do notice.
eventuallynotice
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And now we can both not notice together, yes.
notice
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My god, Beth?!
beth
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I thought you said you got ice cream?
cream
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- I. It must be in the... - The car! We left it in the car.
leftmust
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Okay, good, because that would have been weird!
weird
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I worry things might become more and more noticeable.
becomemightnoticeableworry
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And if he kills himself we’re gonna have to get a new dad
kills
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Jesus Christ, Summer!
christjesusjesus-christsummer
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- Dad. What’s this? - Making a controller.
controller
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This species of bionic space whale has carbon wiring, great for smooth gameplay.
carbonsmoothspacespecieswhale
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I’m not killing it, for the record.
killingrecord
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I’m just replacing its esophagus with a better one. For free.
freereplacing
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It should thank me. And it will, with its mind.
mind
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These things are telepathic, Beth, they talk to you in dreams.
bethdreams
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Does your replicator thing make ice cream from the Gloppy Drop system?
creamdropsystem
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Why would you want replicated Gloppy Drop ice cream, poser?
creamdrop
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Crazy thing, I went with Space Beth to get some and we had such a great time
bethcrazyspace
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we forgot the ice cream. Crazy right?
crazycreamforgot
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- That’s a real question? - Maybe?
questionrealreal-question
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Come here, hold the pup down.
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You’re talking about an infinite father.
fatherinfinite
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I’ve met myself out there infinite times...
infinitetimes
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Infinite shit happens. Including, as you put it, forgetting the ice cream.
creamforgettinghappensincludinginfinite
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- You’ve... forgotten the ice cream? - Drill me for details when I’m drunker.
creamdetailsdrillforgotten
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In the meantime, don’t worry about what’s crazy.
crazymeantimeworry
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- I’know, as the kids say, you do you. - Thanks. Thank you so much, Dad.
kidsthanks
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One thing to keep in mind, though.
mind
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It’s not just your own ice cream you’re forgetting. It’s your family’s.
creamfamilysforgetting
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If you forget it too much, you start having to keep secrets.
forgethavingsecretsstart
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- And you’re against secrets. - Against? Hell no. Secrets are great.
secrets
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For instance, I’ve had a pint of vanilla Gloppy Drop in my fridge this whole time.
dropfridgeinstancepintvanillawhole
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Take it. I’m just saying, lies pile up.
liespile
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Like credit card debt. You retain an advantage by staying liquid.
advantagecardcreditcredit-carddebtliquidretainstaying
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Gotcha. Well. I’d call this a simple cash transaction.
cashgotchasimpletransaction
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Fun. And. Done.
fun
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Favorite Culkin?
favorite
↓
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- Kieran! - Kieran!
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Favorite song by Britney?
britneyfavoritesong
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- Work Bitch! - Work Bitch!
bitch
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Favorite hangover cure?
curefavoritehangover
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- Hair of the dog - Hair of the dog
hair
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546451ff-cffd-4a85-9816-3a70e786699c.gif
with a guilty pleasure like Humans Weekly.
guiltyhumanspleasureweekly
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I told Dad. I mean I didn’t have to. He knew.
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I guess that’s one reason you didn’t have to tell him.
reason
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What’d he say?
whatd
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We kind of talked in code, I think he said it’s fine
codetalked
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until it makes us feel indebted to our lessers.
makes
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That sounds like Dad.
sounds
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Do... we... owe... the family an explanation?
explanationfamily
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ac43875a-bcbb-470b-bb0b-5420dc66d939.gif
Do we have to spend our time together figuring out how to please others?
figuringothersspend
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I’m married. We both are but I’m in our marriage.
marriagemarried
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It’s the defining difference between us.
difference
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Well there’s no rule book that says you have to be.
bookrule
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What’s gonna happen? What is this? Are we in love? With ourself?
happenlove
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I mean, does that make us the most or the least healthy woman in the universe?
healthyleastuniversewoman
↓
9ef8b060-791c-4754-9be8-17c5529c1431.gif
Anybody ever tell you you’re overly analytical? Which I do love?
anybodyloveoverly
↓
0d222901-d548-4ab1-a114-2bb74a7dfff7.gif
- If that’s what you need to call it? - I don’t need to call it anything.
↓
3dea9bf1-22c7-4394-8375-48429cdc4ea9.gif
- I would like to know... its shelf life. - I might know a way to gather that data.
datagatherlifemightshelf
↓
bab6f10f-1b4f-4fd2-908c-03e7e13f7e1c.gif
- The Holodeck! - Motel Room!
motelroom
↓
4ecda405-c9e9-4364-a662-5b9cd750b7b8.gif
I like yours better.
↓
034bd585-379c-41eb-bfc4-dd7cecc97691.gif
Beth! My Beth! Well, not “my” Beth, but... I finished! It’s done!
bethfinished
↓
9f0f7eef-556a-47f5-bc7f-3c8e33e9bf7e.gif
Kids do you know where your moms are? Oh you’re busy with your GamePod,
busykidsmoms
↓
c15c437a-ca4a-4227-86c5-4bc200582437.gif
don’t worry about it, I’ll find those two somewhere
worry
↓
f985da81-20bc-4334-b55b-3821b16f869d.gif
No! No, dad, come play videogames with us.
↓
a6e197c3-2df9-449a-96b0-2765eed5a37a.gif
Okay Dad here’s the infinite menu screen.
infinitemenuscreen
↓
516fe4f4-fb1b-457d-8c06-12ce475131e6.gif
- I dunno. - Here, here,
dunno
↓
e63efbf1-0bc2-4bcd-ab3b-922df711af4d.gif
I’ll have the console choose a game!
chooseconsolegame
↓
68210a96-78cc-49ca-b05f-9d207c1ebadc.gif
Maybe let’s skip this one?
skip
↓
4f931665-2bba-4ee5-9261-ae47a01b41f5.gif
Really? Why? Looks fun!
fun
↓
ae30c630-e839-48dc-ac7a-4b756a295ab9.gif
So we are a woman married to a man but having a sexual affair with another woman!
affairanotheranother-womanhavingmarriedsexualwoman
↓
0ce6f359-48dd-48ce-b45d-d58fa3808adb.gif
- Very spicy. - Very spicy, Jer. Good job.
spicy
↓
a33357a8-e7ce-4ccf-86fe-fc19a95e4d01.gif
Looks pretty single player, kids?
kidsplayersingle
↓
da164178-c454-48da-957f-dea6b660e350.gif
Seriously you two?! What the hell did you do in my holodeck?!
↓
a8f2d96c-d28e-43da-98c0-bfff65e0805a.gif
Holy shit, you did a full ‘San Junipero’ in here?
fullholy
↓
86c8ea06-9989-4e70-ab1a-fc582a70cd9a.gif
My god, Beth, there’s masturbating and then there’s masturbating.
bethmasturbating
↓
94250aec-0dcb-4a40-b1d1-9667374483e2.gif
- Dad stop, I’m sorry! - You’d know, old man.
↓
0cdaa9e7-de83-4f55-8c87-0750d8f5c891.gif
Look, this isn’t my business and by all means
business
↓
ec69cea6-7024-4784-87a7-74f5a1a6cea4.gif
enjoy being sapphic horse girls together. But you suck at doing it secretly.
enjoygirlshorsesecretlysuck
↓
6501dc7f-33b5-4eb0-94ac-c9648f939b7c.gif
- We all know. - Including Jerry?!
includingjerry
↓
76388bda-cf74-435b-a956-1cf77325a50e.gif
No, Dad’s so in the dark that he’s enjoying a video game
dadsdarkenjoyinggamevideovideo-game
↓
92d729fa-2646-4212-baf3-c1b6a70169cc.gif
about being in an affair right now.
affair
↓
9ca44bd4-6075-480c-af49-d494c985c018.gif
If you guys are doing this, you gotta tell him.
↓
794dc3f2-6d8c-4c1d-8418-38a18de53441.gif
- Okay, little man, back off. - Take it easy. They’re right.
easy
↓
8a1e0ccd-c6c3-41d9-87f3-010a85990bef.gif
Right about what, that we have to be twice as considerate
consideratetwice
↓
df85ea0f-b2ab-48bf-8851-ea22c38d50e0.gif
and twice as repressed because some dick split us in two?
dickrepressedsplittwice
↓
e8d0ee2e-9ae3-431c-91dd-9ecc6a63c3b7.gif
This is the shit I left. This isn’t. This is me.
left
↓
aa319fc2-5f6a-433b-a9c9-7549155de646.gif
This is the me that doesn’t tell you all to fuck off. So allow me. Fuck off.
allowfuck
↓
2a509642-f7ac-4a1f-b330-9026b4893933.gif
She’ll tell her husband what she wants when she feels like it.
feelshusbandshellwants
↓
dc02e57f-6ba2-4951-973d-094fac9edb4b.gif
And you can deal with it or you can deal with me.
deal
↓
56e5948e-7816-47c3-a00d-e97600017ea2.gif
But you should know I have all the Predator weapons.
predatorweapons
↓
1591092d-276b-4066-9d12-6e882c4c2ca3.gif
- Works for me. - That’s cool.
coolworks
↓
ee7fa7b3-2fa4-4963-98a2-8eb642b37db2.gif
- Fair enough. - I guess it’s time for ice cream.
creamfair
↓
46b90b39-4c02-4f08-ae4a-6bbab99ff2d9.gif
Come on, kids, you’re inhaling this stuff.
kidsstuff
↓
44904557-dfcf-4583-afb1-58807ef6e2f0.gif
Your Moms went to space, did you even thank them for doing it?
momsspace
↓
56660540-e1a0-40e4-acff-75965e22634b.gif
Thanks for... doing it, Moms.
momsthanks
↓
85af4555-82fe-4430-9b4a-c0c9e4b0f3b4.gif
Very selfless of you.
selfless
↓
dd07ef99-e310-443a-9462-cda6ca0fde85.gif
Eat your ice cream however you want. Nothing good lasts forever.
creamforeverlasts
↓
8c3fe6b6-cc71-4ff1-85f8-3389f9af1bfe.gif
Okay, c’mon, it’s Thanksgiving, the least we can do is speak English.
englishleastspeakspeak-englishthanksgiving
↓
3b8fc85a-45e8-4d5a-94e3-45605a26a56c.gif
Jerry, I had sex with your wife.
jerrywife
↓
0bb8726f-3e31-45d4-9c0a-300a2c2c2656.gif
Or, I’m your wife and had sex with the clone you sleep with.
clonesleepwife
↓
f82c3ca0-b8ec-475c-b482-e0297ed88e17.gif
Your pick. We had sex. We loved it.
lovedpick
↓
9d7024f0-686a-4dfe-9825-1c09e7bcd3fb.gif
Beth Sanchez sure is something?
bethsanchez
↓
71f0be8f-2ae9-4db1-8736-41f2838b7a83.gif
- I think I’ll ask her to prom. - Jerry. For your own sake.
jerrypromsake
↓
7856c131-709e-4fd7-a445-78bff5be81bd.gif
Stay away from Beth Sanchez.
bethsanchez
↓
2910b74b-5803-4a74-8dd3-fc8dd0ae89ba.gif
- Worst case, she says “no”. - No, Jerry. Worst case she says “yes”.
casejerryworstworst-case
↓
92db4b97-d1fb-4950-87f6-278cda54a8bf.gif
She’s too much woman for you. Maybe she’d find your simple naïveté endearing
shedsimplewoman
↓
48175def-e47b-4405-96da-4972482425a6.gif
but she’s intense. Sooner or later, she’d tear you apart.
apartintenseshedsoonertear
↓
6db32c52-f600-40db-a7ce-03752cc3face.gif
I’d be lucky to be torn apart by Beth Sanchez.
apartbethluckysancheztorntorn-apart
↓
44bdf009-a7cf-459e-a651-63e5f0811192.gif
- What the fuck?! - Dad’s a bug! Dad rolled into a bug!
dadsfuckrolled
↓
5aef1560-12f2-4b98-b48a-ec52ffbc8b79.gif
Forgot I installed that.
forgotinstalled
↓
6bb7c5ab-c89d-4f57-8513-454917e35dc3.gif
- Why does Jerry have a Pill Bug Protocol? - It’s an emotional defense system.
defenseemotionaljerrypillprotocolsystem
↓
7854526f-3928-4758-9f62-08ede3b0ced6.gif
I got drunk with Jerry one night
drunkjerrynight
↓
c94643d5-7248-4d3c-8531-242643c5e1b1.gif
and he said it’s what he wanted most in the world.
wantedworld
↓
cfa427a9-d760-4762-b96d-d3b26adfbb04.gif
Don’t blame me, I wanted tattoos
blametattooswanted
↓
9374bf32-0be0-4e5c-ae3f-f1ce6b8b6983.gif
Anyway, he’s in perfect health in there and he can unroll when he chooses to
chooseshealthperfect
↓
e3146944-aadc-41c8-8bf0-cb38de86959a.gif
but can also stay in metabolic hibernation pretty much indefinitely.
↓
109635b6-4879-431d-9b39-c604082c3940.gif
It’s a cool power to have, like if you have to fly coach
coachcoolpower
↓
4f4d485d-dcf6-4026-ac95-0f763d9e70c1.gif
or if Summer asks you what you thought of ‘Wonder Woman 1984
askssummerwomanwonder
↓
510e1e5f-31c4-4c99-895e-a449d9782bb6.gif
- How do we undo it? - Only he can.
undo
↓
663e29ee-1068-4349-bb37-e0eedd5663c9.gif
That’s the point. It’s total safety. Even I can’t reverse it.
pointreversesafetytotal
↓
a33ce380-e1a3-4413-98d9-e96265de3ed4.gif
If you try to pry him out and hit a nerve, he’ll literally turn into a Shrek.
nerveshrek
↓
80d07827-1a64-4cd1-844d-40e66fd9bebb.gif
In his own sad way, he’s taken control.
controltaken
↓
4211a639-dc6f-472e-9e36-c121622e5312.gif
This is classic Jerry. He’d rather be a bug than have a conversation.
classicconversationjerry
↓
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Have you heard the way you start conversations?
conversationsheardstart
↓
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You ladies discuss responsibility while I get stoned
discussladiesresponsibilitystoned
↓
30f59b64-b478-460d-ba96-30aa818c52b2.gif
and play video games with your kids.
gameskidsvideovideo-games
↓
4d54eca6-682f-4c60-b6d4-638ebc87624d.gif
- Fuck! More forest! - Look around!
forestfuck
↓
2f2017af-5b43-40d7-aa89-c32ebb842e5c.gif
Try heading North?
headingnorth
↓
20274851-a18c-4a1f-9ac7-ef2fa4e66246.gif
- Oh shit. - Wait, what the fuck.
fuck
↓
67bb1a70-d927-4e2c-aaa4-2bb46cad25e4.gif
Maybe keep heading North?
headingnorth
↓
36cc8f81-25ef-461f-bf0e-cb37e720e838.gif
- What the hell?! - God, what happens in the shadows?
happensshadows
↓
287220c6-1032-4177-a4f6-264c4d3fa721.gif
Jerry, sweetie?
jerrysweetie
↓
bdf23ae1-b496-43e4-a6a4-dc140276828c.gif
- If you can hear me, please, unroll. - He doesn’t want to.
↓
534e5c95-ff27-4f39-ac9c-be5027343640.gif
It’s a little late to worry about what he wants.
latewantsworry
↓
2c3c7aa0-38a3-41a4-a2f9-1ffee8a78c94.gif
Jesus, Beth, don’t fall for this. This isn’t love, it’s a tantrum.
bethfalljesuslovetantrum
↓
ec51fffc-de4c-4a3e-a36c-9bc489b71aa0.gif
Yeah but his tantrum is self destructive. Yours is destructive.
destructiveselftantrum
↓
79f7c164-def3-47ee-9f0e-c6549ccff982.gif
Maybe that’s why I’m the one that loves him. He worries.
lovesworries
↓
281b3a10-42b2-409c-af21-654482f6b05d.gif
He wants to do right. He’s ashamed when he fails.
ashamedfailswants
↓
6932ca32-1535-40e0-bd21-40403d8c7471.gif
Aren’t those things you love about me?
love
↓
5c2a1e4d-973f-46e6-934c-8c9ee8902724.gif
You want me to be like him? You want me to propose? Threaten to kill myself?
killproposethreaten
↓
22ae5f77-30fb-493c-8072-fbe10b266a7f.gif
No. I love you the way you are. And I did it forever in a video game.
forevergamelovevideovideo-game
↓
336d8dce-566e-403d-931d-b46fe2e9da4c.gif
But in life, things go wrong. Things stop working.
lifeworking
↓
42125d62-58a3-4d57-b67d-4758b3a1513a.gif
I like to fix those things, and when I can’t, I’m pretty useless.
useless
↓
f69d7e82-ef21-4b30-ade4-80e5e5264df6.gif
- Like my husband. - I don’t get it.
husband
↓
f66dc8f5-918f-4c8b-a02c-0f0daaca60d6.gif
You’re the house wife and I’m the space lady
houseladyspacewife
↓
7af13895-1d91-4cc9-8c52-61a4982a0241.gif
but you’re the one that chewed me up and spit me out.
chewedspit
↓
8562c93a-744d-404e-bf3b-31b089724cd1.gif
I don’t want to just forget about you.
forget
↓
d2e3a687-ad26-40da-884e-0aff7ea6e614.gif
Me neither. It’s a problem.
problem
↓
fc057c09-200f-4b54-8e79-e1181a055e1d.gif
But we know someone that owes us a solution.
owessolution
↓
b5fb5f60-89a5-4eff-81ce-02e842dd69ee.gif
Shit, we’re out of the forest! We found a clearing!
clearingforestfound
↓
6583d3c3-6793-42d8-83e0-f249fa74ff68.gif
Go check it out! Go check out the clearing!
checkclearing
↓
89b5fc03-b1af-4566-ba63-ab5005c8d1b8.gif
Vampires?! Oh, come on! That’s not realistic!
realistic
↓
894db154-ba3f-4e8a-b2c3-2d59f4389c67.gif
Morty, it’s obviously set in a world where vampires hunt in clearings.
huntmortyobviouslyworld
↓
8e5f9472-66ab-4171-9050-f7614e710be0.gif
How did you...
↓
1b119301-f43c-4db7-a20c-7eebe4b496af.gif
I’m working with the same information you are.
informationworking
↓
e74cbbf7-0561-4726-9c51-e5f98b9eacb8.gif
No more screen time until your homework’s done, Dad.
screen
↓
fdc08bba-1d99-4102-a102-6ba6c54d5822.gif
- What did that mean? - We refuse to care
carerefuse
↓
407250c9-a1cb-4ebe-9ae6-dc479150fcbd.gif
Damn. You really came of age this Thanksgiving.
thanksgiving
↓
cc5fa0b5-e159-4e5b-ab36-c070be86c3f8.gif
How old are we? We’ve had a million Thanksgivings.
million
↓
67e73ee5-ceed-48db-84eb-4754f1c42393.gif
- Can I explain how irrational this is? - Asked the guy that cloned his daughter.
askeddaughterexplainirrational
↓
20c4fbdd-89e1-41b4-829b-2f6e8da7b593.gif
Will I ever live that down?
live
↓
9782d58b-ef09-448a-9a23-d03582eec7fe.gif
- No - No
↓
a2db2e30-cd79-4d0e-99f8-d98e9ba37e29.gif
You guys are having me Eternal Sunshine
eternalhavingsunshine
↓
e14bd656-830d-47cb-a38b-bee4eb7797ab.gif
all the Multiplicity porn scenes from your minds?
mindspornscenes
↓
ca8022c5-093f-4efe-9de9-866f4167767e.gif
- Yep. Basically. - Sounds right.
sounds
↓
3c3141bb-789f-440a-ad2f-bc282ab15511.gif
Meanwhile, everyone around you, your father, your cuckhold husband,
fatherhusbandmeanwhile
↓
56715672-8483-4fbd-840f-17d283f2b3b3.gif
your jaded children will just happily and silently bear the burden
bearburdenchildrenhappilysilently
↓
8e00afee-1603-41a3-8efd-7f071283ad3b.gif
because it’s more practical for them than the truth
practicaltruth
↓
2f564b39-ba85-496f-bf21-2afd45a42492.gif
and you don’t care becausei t won’t be your problem.
careproblem
↓
c0814ae9-85e2-44a1-b9e1-86d7558992af.gif
- Solid repipe, Dad. - It’s like he has a lifetime of experience
experiencelifetimesolid
↓
f2a13aa2-7944-4e33-a2ee-943f0fff9ca9.gif
as a selfish ass.
selfish
↓
b53bae3f-1c72-4194-89d1-73c681997820.gif
When this fails and the two of you fall in love again
failsfalllove
↓
677fbbf5-fc95-444f-9e7f-f02214b85157.gif
and you attack me for taking part in this,
attackpart
↓
1338edee-e802-488a-9464-b1557d44eed2.gif
I’m gonna lie and say I tried to talk you out of it for hours.
hourstried
↓
d94cd555-2a5a-48a0-be53-a3b6d24409d8.gif
In truth, I don’t care.
caretruth
↓
2cd9e7ef-6abe-49a4-9d4c-466621b7cd49.gif
- Three, two... - For God’s sake, all of you, grow up.
godsgods-sakegrowsakethree
↓
511a6072-1963-40cd-9994-c4a30ecb89b8.gif
- Jerry! You un rolled! - What the hell?
jerryrolled
↓
886f7a13-b7dc-48ce-9840-cab7361998c3.gif
Plot twist, Deus Ex Husbanda.
plottwist
↓
7a9dc08f-46eb-4225-ac61-24839e336a64.gif
Don’t lobotomize yourselves for my comfort.
comfortyourselves
↓
65bd1161-ecf8-4a31-a8e7-c1038d1f78e5.gif
I may be a man but I’m also a baby and babies don’t take responsibility
babiesbabyresponsibility
↓
f3c6dfff-e08f-48cb-9e9c-ea57a13cc50a.gif
for other people’s suffering. I should never have said I’d kill myself
killpeoplessuffering
↓
6857b0fc-8d53-452a-aea8-ccd7ea879f1c.gif
if you left me. It’s not true.
left
↓
44f4ae86-8bc7-4c8d-97ef-191039ccd4bf.gif
All I’d do is pack my shit and cry while I look for a job on Starbuck’s wifi.
packstarbucks
↓
61aaee3b-5ef1-4b74-b9fe-b927a26513ce.gif
And that’s what I’m gonna do.
↓
3319e05b-0171-4a3f-9343-458bd1941bb8.gif
So the two of you can get clone lesbian married by a robot
clonelesbianmarriedrobot
↓
dd1fb5bc-0bc0-4fdc-b4ae-7671023dbbf0.gif
and finger yourselves on the moon while laughing in Martian French
fingerfrenchlaughingmoonyourselves
↓
2637fbbe-30f5-441e-815a-e26d74aa313e.gif
- about my weird little dick! - Jerry, wait.
dickjerryweird
↓
446656a7-12c5-4894-8c66-6f9610a0070e.gif
- Jerry, don’t leave angry. - Should I float out on a lotus leaf?
angryfloatjerryleaf
↓
1ad1a4a4-24f9-437e-9a84-636e9e7ed084.gif
I have to be twice as confident because my wife cheated on me with herself?
cheatedconfidenttwicewife
↓
e71a8261-3b7f-4306-a8cf-c80c022b17a9.gif
- It’s not even cheating. - You here to help? You suck.
cheatingsuck
↓
e3c2c69c-571b-41a4-937c-b1089f7d721e.gif
You don’t even know which one is your real wife.
realwife
↓
9941667f-3a6c-41c6-8594-71fe175f29f0.gif
If it’s me, have you been cheating with a clone?
cheatingclone
↓
dafad093-370c-40f0-96ff-ed058e12339e.gif
I’m not the clone but she has a point.
clonepoint
↓
3cbfe9bb-8187-4f76-ac36-a2069ae6d302.gif
what a provocative conversation it would’ve been great to have before
conversationwouldve
↓
9ab5d35f-6650-489f-9746-0c77f1a5e1fd.gif
the two of you, and I am counting two,
counting
↓
ee313997-59a8-41c5-bda2-0e2f6e1c76cb.gif
gave each other unfairly expert orgasms while mocking my weird little dick!
dickexpertmockingorgasmsweird
↓
264bef8d-8c13-4fe8-ab50-6cc47c10daee.gif
Jerry, you’re the only one who keeps saying weird and little.
jerrykeepsweird
↓
c35bfcf7-263a-4d30-8b50-b9c1c508e717.gif
Well you’ve both seen it! And you’ve both seen each other
seen
↓
2ed8c4be-177d-46cd-9d5c-ce89e1e3ac56.gif
and now you want to tell me all about it but it’s a little late.
late
↓
94f3b259-b063-4ab0-80b3-041fe4acde7d.gif
My God. You’re not mad that it was about you. You’re mad that it wasn’t.
↓
81d9d44c-6167-4f4b-80b8-5a7ff82b1419.gif
He wanted to permit our love.
lovepermitwanted
↓
6a2d3538-8fc8-48a1-b184-06af67d7e641.gif
Okay it’s not "Handmaid’s Tale" to loop in your husband.
husbandlooptale
↓
c2c72f01-1ddf-4a8c-ba53-71f3f0c28de2.gif
I agree for the record, we made a mistake.
agreemistakerecord
↓
2b58bea5-2c02-49c4-850f-a5a669758ef7.gif
because we should’ve noticed ourselves losing control and gone to Sexmaster Jerry
controlgonejerrylosingnoticedshouldve
↓
ca802834-6c1b-4d1a-a859-9da4397cdae3.gif
and said oh pretty please, Jerry, can I make out with myself?
jerry
↓
0820a615-2b96-4c47-90e7-d9b5d4a81b03.gif
Yes you may.
↓
695ed78b-e004-4fe2-ae99-05cc2b96ea3e.gif
See. Not so hot when it’s above board. Homewreckers.
board
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- So we won’t enjoy this? - Well hold on hold on, this is weird.
enjoyweird
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Weird and permitted.
weird
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- Wait, you like this? - Who cares what he likes.
careslikes
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- I do. - I might like it
might
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- and if she likes it I permit it. - You little pervert.
likespermitpervert
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- You like a little pervert. - I like humiliating a little pervert.
humiliatingpervert
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- I approve. Carry on. - I’m freaked out by how hot this is.
approvecarryfreaked
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- Am I permitted to do this? - Until further notice.
furtherfurther-noticenotice
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- I love it. - Then it’s permitted from now on.
love
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Because you like whatever she likes. Because you’re a worm.
likesworm
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I will allow that assessment.
allow
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- Pass the salt? - Dammit.
dammitpasssalt
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- I allow this. - Well then it’s required.
allowrequired
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I approve the requirement.
approve
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- You get over there. - Good idea
idea
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- Okay. Honey? - I’m fine if you are.
honey
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- You’re never fine, shut up. - Okay but... Okay.
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- This is not how I pictured this but... - I have zero complaints so far.
complaintspicturedzero
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- Because I know what you want. - I do not disagree with that.
disagree
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- Can I make a pitch? What if we... - Are you serious?
pitchserious
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94119c58-0bf1-46ca-8acd-3f7b1aa1f83c.gif
- Is this making fun of me? - Well is that bad?
fun
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I’ll allow it.
allow
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Jesus Christ, you need to fix the portal gun, Rick.
christjesusjesus-christportalrick
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Morty, you asking makes me wanna do it less.
askinglessmakesmorty
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Okay, Thanksgiving! Let’s talk about Thanksgiving!
thanksgiving
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Who’s thankful for what? Go, Summer, you first.
summerthankful
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I guess I’m thankful, for like, water?
thankfulwater
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Perfect! Wonderful! Morty, what about you?
mortyperfect
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Fucking. Are you fucking kidding me? Why? Why?
fuckingfucking-kiddingkidding
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Discovery Channel! Discovery Channel, why?!
channeldiscovery
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125132b9-0476-48d0-afb5-9b696c17323a.gif
Okay. Just, eat your food. Everyone eat the food.
food
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Sorry, I'm... this...
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Well, bye kids! I’ll keep an eye out for my grandkid in space.
kidsspace
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Your what? Oh! Right. Naruto.
↓
8241267c-cdcb-4af7-a003-8dc20876b63c.gif
Thanks for visiting, Space Beth.
bethspacethanksvisiting
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Well, seems like we all learned a little lesson this weekend!
learnedlessonseemsweekend
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- At least, I know I did! - Me too, Jerry. Me too.
jerryleast
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Hello there, Jerry! How can I help you today?
jerrytoday
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Howdy! Just, just here to hang!
hanghowdy
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I’m sorry, sweetie. You can’t come here by yourself.
sweetie
↓
94390a9b-ffdc-4071-a315-6c31a37f99fa.gif
Why not? It’s just me in there!
↓
9da8f031-79c1-470d-b049-db3b0ce24e71.gif
Well, not that this is something you’d do, but sometimes we have Jerries come here
sometimes
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and try to touch other Jerries.
touch
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f30c2027-5817-459c-b46a-dc99863fdfac.gif
No, that’s, that’s not good. Well, see you later!
↓
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- Okay. - Thank you!