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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S07E19 — Stevie in the Hospital

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 7, Episode 19 — Stevie in the Hospital

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Stevie in the Hospital
Air date: April 09, 2006
Director: Steve Welch
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
When Stevie goes to the hospital, Malcolm tries making up every excuse he can think of to not go because he can't face the truth about his illness. Meanwhile, back home, Hal gets highly competitive about his new remote control boat, while Lois thinks she's going insane.
Source: TMDB
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Jamie, time to get going. Let's put your shoes on.
jamieshoes
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Wonder what's gotten into him.
gottenwonder
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I have no idea.
idea
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Now pay attention-- I'm only going
attention
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to show this to you one more time.
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The rabbit comes out of his hole,
comesholerabbit
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and runs around the tree.
runstree
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But he won't stop laughing at you.
laughing
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So you grab him by the tail and it rips off in your hand.
grabhandtail
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You follow the trail of blood back to his hole.
bloodfollowholetrail
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And then you reach in, pull the rabbit out
pullrabbitreach
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and then you strangle him!
strangle
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And then you're ready to walk around.
readywalk
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Maiden voyage. Just you and me.
voyage
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wind in our hair.
hairwind
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And look.
↓
ca480515-0593-46bc-99cd-cabe508c7c92.gif
I re-did the aft bathroom.
bathroom
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Sorry, Dad, I start my new job today.
starttoday
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Oh, come on!
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Did you know how hard it was to get this job?
hard
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Everywhere else I applied called my references.
appliedcalledreferences
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Thank God, telemarketing has no standards.
standards
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- Picture this, Dewey... - It's not gonna happen.
deweyhappenpicture
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Give me one good reason.
reason
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and it's not going to make me happy.
happy
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So why don't we just leave it alone?
alone
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You're gonna be out of the house soon.
house
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They just moved him out of intensive care
careintensiveintensive-caremoved
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- and I really want to go visit him. - Damn!
visit
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See you tonight!
tonight
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e664c86d-3a18-40bc-8aa2-c3e13fd98874.gif
Ah! I forgot.
forgot
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e662ad7f-5698-4b7d-8cfd-151182193e25.gif
What? I asked you like five times.
askedfivefive-timestimes
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That I remember.
remember
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My science partner's going to hate me.
hatepartnersscience
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I'm glad you changed your mind and decided to join me.
changeddecidedgladjoinmind
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It's nice to know that at least one of my sons isn't too busy
busyleastsons
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to spend a little time with the old man.
spend
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Oh, here, look.
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The deck is real teak.
deckreal
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Easy, it's not a toy.
easy
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dc7ec1bb-924b-41dd-8c44-7044d8846583.gif
- You're sitting on my bench. - What?
benchsitting
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That's my bench.
bench
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99465786-f1af-4856-9ae0-7b1ba8ab5fd4.gif
I don't want to find another one.
another
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I always sit here.
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Jamie, I'll handle this.
handlejamie
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Kid, I didn't see you wiping off the pigeon poop
pigeonpoopwiping
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with your son's blankie.
blankiesons
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I've earned this bench,
benchearned
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so take a hike.
hike
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Huh!
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Okay, let's set her out there and aim for the horizon.
horizon
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Well... in mine.
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Steady.
steady
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Steady as she goes.
steady
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Are you crazy?! What do you think you're doing?!
crazy
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I'm think I'm sinking your boat!
boatsinking
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This amazing all natural purifier
amazingnatural
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has been proven to remove...
provenremove
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If you order now, we guarantee...
guaranteeorder
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d9ee0153-6bb7-4745-b5b6-a8313d14188c.gif
...you'll probably be dead by morning.
deadmorning
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But you're right, buddy, your life's not worth 50 bucks,
bucksbuddylifesworth
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so please let me off the phone
phone
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so I can start saving people who want to live.
livesavingstart
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All right, fine, I'll put you down for two,
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but next time, don't jerk me around.
jerk
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efdd3b16-2654-4579-b9d7-e72c0ae73843.gif
How's everything going over here?
↓
aa8294c2-4435-4c6e-976b-57557c455180.gif
People are so stupid, they'll believe anything.
believestupid
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I threw the fact sheet out the window
factsheetthrewwindow
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and just started making stuff up.
startedstuff
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Ah, no problem. I made up the fact sheet.
factproblemsheet
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Six sales in 20 minutes.
minutessales
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You're a natural.
natural
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ed943210-0f60-46b7-8b14-2f92ee4a736d.gif
Keep this up and you got a good shot
shot
↓
1fbeb137-ea69-4edc-86d6-e8379e1f2819.gif
at winning the sales contest.
contestsaleswinning
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96eae9de-a5b4-4fba-8c86-623c86e8d86e.gif
What contest?
contest
↓
fa13240c-4cd0-45f1-9dcd-9569f85f7725.gif
We're tallying total sales
salestotal
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over on the big board.
board
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24a2574a-913d-4be8-a854-612595d3bc51.gif
First prize is a flat-screen TV.
flatflat-screenprizescreen
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f7aff6b8-ec0c-4216-a16a-75ee22200263.gif
Second prize is a barbecue grill,
barbecuegrillprizesecond
↓
0d024e38-ca50-4174-94a9-43bf8284a707.gif
third prize is one of our air purifiers.
prizethird
↓
d63ceaeb-87be-4607-9e67-469efe85e89d.gif
But believe me, you don't want that.
believe
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c0a06f6d-684b-4ae6-bcd5-059c2b153129.gif
Keep up the good work.
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fe9532a9-57a4-4fd1-9eee-1cbc6b6f9c96.gif
Hello, I'm calling from Air Scrub Air Filters.
callingfiltersscrub
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No, no, no, don't put Mommy on the phone.
mommyphone
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Just get her credit card.
cardcreditcredit-card
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- How was Stevie? - I didn't get to see him.
stevie
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You left for the hospital
hospitalleft
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over three hours ago.
hoursthreethree-hours
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I tried taking the express bus,
expresstried
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but somehow I ended up on a shuttle to the airport.
airportendedshuttle
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Seriously, they need to label those things better.
label
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e7666b2a-a3c9-4603-96c6-08d49009e1ab.gif
They're bright red
bright
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and say "airport shuttle" on the side.
airportshuttleside
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We drove right past the hospital, but the stupid
drovehospitalpaststupid
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driver wouldn't let me out. When did people stop caring?
caringdriver
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Calm down, Malcolm. It's no big deal.
calmdealmalcolm
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You can go tomorrow.
tomorrow
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ad2809bb-ca9d-477c-8ed5-5e1f4e9c6b7c.gif
Yeah, if the buses will let me.
buses
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c180636d-2967-4a3f-83a1-e55b90896f24.gif
Hey, sweetie, how was your day?
sweetie
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Oh!
↓
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I love this new job.
love
↓
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If you claim to be a doctor on the phone,
claimdoctorphone
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08ccb9a7-e440-4ea2-b697-6216f243d6e3.gif
no one questions it, not even other doctors.
doctorsquestions
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All right, would someone care to explain something to me?
careexplain
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- What? - Why is this sleeve
sleeve
↓
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slightly shorter than this sleeve?
shortersleeveslightly
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259a1c44-9d2e-4207-aabf-3618865669ff.gif
Maybe one of your arms is getting longer.
armslonger
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4818e959-c2cf-4035-9b19-6726ccad5fb7.gif
They're not. I measured them.
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51c2b525-8c65-4fcd-93b4-fde289c69c63.gif
That's crazy.
crazy
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8f05a7a9-67e5-480f-9aa3-4c589810f6a8.gif
Oh, you'd like me to think so,
↓
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but I know someone has been messing with my stuff.
messingstuff
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The mirrors on my car are askew,
mirrors
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my toothbrush is wet, and the lint trap in the dryer--
dryertoothbrushtrap
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which I emptied this morning-- is now magically full of lint.
emptiedfullmagicallymorning
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ccd9a2a4-8485-4668-9369-a1c0eed72246.gif
Should you even be doing laundry in this condition?
conditionlaundry
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67bb29da-706b-464d-a47c-720e223e837b.gif
I want to know who's responsible
responsible
↓
0515a745-6db3-4d6e-bba7-0a539c2b6f52.gif
and I want to know now.
↓
33dc113a-ed7c-48d6-b572-a7b41cfef186.gif
Mom, why would we do any of that to you?
↓
a429ee8a-0760-4b71-a83d-e1880b54d309.gif
Yeah, Mom, why would we?
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f81ba78b-ef67-434c-992d-ef4579fcbef3.gif
Excuse me, what room is Stevie Kenarban in?
excusekenarbanroomsteviestevie-kenarban
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Let me check.
check
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25bfe859-0889-48bd-a6d0-9bd5458da9b6.gif
He's in room 220 right up the elevator.
elevatorroom
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fd75a97e-7b78-4798-a265-7dbfb1323252.gif
Thank you.
↓
0e32bb30-5571-4089-8201-dad35a8a0aea.gif
I was going to come visit yesterday morning,
morningvisityesterday
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but I had this giant hole in my lunch bag
giantholelunch
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and everything just spilled out.
spilled
↓
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My tuna sandwich was fine, but my orange started
orangesandwichstartedtuna
↓
ce556d8e-19e7-4003-acca-822e751374ca.gif
rolling down this hill, and by the time
hillrolling
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I caught up with it, I was late for school.
caughtlateschool
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b1aa37de-28ec-4ba6-82c3-6129d3c316bd.gif
It, it's still room 220.
room
↓
dc0603b8-3ad0-4b5d-98fe-6d1987be264b.gif
Where would it be possible to find a gift?
giftpossible
↓
54aea0e6-3002-4773-9a7d-61c8faddd774.gif
I would try the gift shop.
giftgift-shopshop
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Good idea. Thanks.
ideathanks
↓
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You're welcome.
welcome
↓
96c742e6-0595-4712-aac7-c9905e472526.gif
Can I help you find something?
↓
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Yeah, do you have any cards that don't say "Get well"?
cards
↓
a2966156-7d94-4799-b122-311f7d275324.gif
This is a hospital.
hospital
↓
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Usually, we're rooting for the patient.
patientrootingusually
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ace5cee8-d02e-4b5f-9f8d-5c408f59137f.gif
I get it. It's just that all these cards are really generic.
cardsgeneric
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And this is for my best friend, so I need something special.
bestbest-friendfriendspecial
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How about flowers?
flowers
↓
57824168-77ef-4687-a2a1-103ddbc3a43a.gif
I'm not asking him to marry me.
askingmarry
↓
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This bear's pretty popular.
bearspopular
↓
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Let's see.
↓
4f837d45-539f-4735-adbb-87d10025a052.gif
He's allergic to the fur, the stuffing
allergicstuffing
↓
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the plastic eyes.
eyesplastic
↓
a82f7c3c-2601-4938-b2b3-5f35b91402de.gif
And what's this tag made out of?
↓
ea243f4c-f51f-47a2-82f5-ec24d2677f79.gif
Okay, let's go with the hula guy.
↓
5ffbcf2c-9244-4e25-9073-cbbff251ee89.gif
- You're sure? - Definitely.
↓
c72b24f2-e53e-4d87-a043-9ca7b9dde2aa.gif
So we've narrowed it down to ten possibilities.
narrowedpossibilities
↓
45c42227-b1c2-4444-af09-4bcddbba7f2d.gif
Let's go over the pros and cons one more time.
conspros
↓
eab4bb4d-f534-44fc-a0b8-5025cce8b5cc.gif
it is now 9:00. Visiting hours are over.
hoursvisiting
↓
89e9f237-17c5-47f0-a4f7-73e5cf3a9bfa.gif
What?
↓
4d038cd0-ee61-4a11-8bf2-789d6856a67f.gif
I can't believe you let this happen!
believehappen
↓
3de2c95a-ad8e-453e-825b-dfc5c66b3a1f.gif
♪ Don't sell my heart ♪
heartsell
↓
7ff090d7-8761-48cc-90dd-a5ba1658fc38.gif
♪ My achy, breaky heart ♪
heart
↓
6e436517-10f6-439b-884e-234742d58013.gif
♪ I just don't think you understand ♪
↓
50a6dd86-eda6-439e-8587-ba583ba9d8e1.gif
Reese is sales machine.
machinereesesales
↓
4b5ac22c-a726-4534-b8f7-53d3d485cdfe.gif
If he keeps up this pace,
keepspace
↓
1e3e3f45-70a0-490e-885c-d66b124d071b.gif
he's going to win the whole thing.
whole
↓
5ba9c9e1-52c4-4860-b17f-6df8b288f221.gif
Don't worry.
worry
↓
34498cfd-d815-45a6-86bd-9409b8af9897.gif
I gave him the list of people that told us to go to hell.
list
↓
680aa2b3-9219-410a-9585-5f9fc0503ce3.gif
Listen, we wouldn't be calling again if it wasn't an emergency.
callingemergency
↓
061cc749-9a32-4339-97e4-c8a2aab63b06.gif
The utility company's informed us
companysinformed
↓
7b8ba011-7e48-4ee3-b95b-59b1602a86d4.gif
that there's an alarming amount of graydon in your home.
alarmingamounthome
↓
ba689cf5-8e55-4c1a-b8c0-e753d765e2be.gif
Now, your family's been chosen to survive,
chosenfamilyssurvive
↓
1d03f33f-4797-4a1e-b151-0c67157224d9.gif
but your neighbors aren't going to be so lucky.
luckyneighbors
↓
32a57e63-f70f-4fea-9abc-bbd1573cff23.gif
Look, don't buy it from Air Scrub.
scrub
↓
3e42c175-6a0a-4612-b031-01243c984e0d.gif
Buy it from one of our competitors.
↓
1c7eb8a8-88a1-43f7-b9fb-73fc4915aa53.gif
I gave you the number, but for the love of God, hurry!
hurrylovenumber
↓
ed047fbf-7aa4-4fad-bccd-51d376354b2d.gif
Happy Air, how may I help you?
happy
↓
abd3d8ea-bffa-4cde-877c-ab35bd1b11fa.gif
And there isn't any kind
↓
10971803-2f6e-4503-bd10-117b78f1af5b.gif
of construction or quarantines.
construction
↓
6acdf7f6-45d2-422e-a346-1e287b32deaf.gif
You're not planning on moving the hospital
hospitalmovingplanning
↓
9f584c5b-0bca-46ac-9656-6ea57852ab16.gif
before I can get there?
↓
02503336-9a0b-4484-8ea1-3803341c8423.gif
Fine. Go take care of your precious bus crash.
carecrashprecious
↓
3ee72fb7-b887-4dfe-8796-c29c9fe57e9b.gif
I want to make sure I cover all my bases.
basescover
↓
f12e1a49-ffe5-4f16-903a-56822abad96f.gif
I got the directions, I got a gift--
directionsgift
↓
24a58534-7102-4038-8e01-1e080486d6d0.gif
his favorite cookies.
cookiesfavorite
↓
5f754d68-44b7-4d00-a1c9-5c1af1881d69.gif
This time there's nothing that can stop me
↓
6a73416a-1b8c-4cb1-88d1-5b5f239e50da.gif
from visiting Stevie.
stevievisiting
↓
f80e7603-03f2-45af-9c29-2b8ed3bde78a.gif
There are very few things in this world
world
↓
f265299e-0946-4c2b-8648-8d5dd108e957.gif
as valuable as friendship.
friendshipvaluable
↓
2c537256-9750-441a-8c74-b104b0de5034.gif
Damn.
↓
504fb695-befc-41f5-b05c-6fa027358d62.gif
What's wrong, Dad?
↓
6735f44e-c64a-450a-957c-8a170b6683be.gif
Nothing, I just put the battery in backwards.
backwardsbattery
↓
f5cbe898-f3d0-44ba-bfbe-1ffe9c9b70f7.gif
Oh, God. Why now?
↓
da6da18f-7c45-4e4c-9895-a1419cdb456f.gif
I can't leave him like this.
↓
1e3ed12e-e99b-498c-8290-78fe640e9e88.gif
I'm here for you, Dad.
↓
2cac8fd2-5ca0-4cdf-af0a-afe22ab4c79e.gif
I think I can handle it, Malcolm.
handlemalcolm
↓
09da36c0-5d3b-429d-9364-da5e5c932be1.gif
I just need to get a little water out of the hull.
water
↓
92c0cba7-761e-4b27-a954-fbe3d4bc54b3.gif
How'd that happen?
happenhowd
↓
cf7df30f-c2b0-4540-add9-9f813042032b.gif
It's nothing. Just some punk kid swamped me.
punkswamped
↓
75385333-99da-4670-b729-00783dba5228.gif
And you're just gonna let them get away with that?
↓
678e5ad5-50fb-4f68-af0e-343dd56a1827.gif
It's no big deal.
deal
↓
661b55fe-a8e6-45ad-9d47-122eedbb789c.gif
I'll just go to another part of the lake.
anotherlakepart
↓
58707d61-086d-4fc2-b87e-b292ee4be1c5.gif
Why? So he can sink you there, too?
sink
↓
bbdfb8ee-0348-4b35-8061-8c308b631e46.gif
You've to fight back.
fight
↓
70ebd30e-5d0e-453d-b166-a8698b3e4ecb.gif
What did you always teach me about standing up for myself?
standingteach
↓
60a1fc2e-fae5-49ec-a9f2-10415337c2ad.gif
I can't beat up a ten-year-old.
beat
↓
c4452a45-b61a-4e19-9015-b8ff22f88662.gif
I suppose I could hold him down while you hit him.
suppose
↓
9b739be9-791c-4b50-bd6f-0485cc88f4f4.gif
No, Dad. Let's beat him on the water.
beatwater
↓
e9bca656-f555-4858-9c8f-1e02d8a62463.gif
With just a few modifications,
modifications
↓
1274ee26-71d5-4e36-b99f-634bea879366.gif
we can make this boat unstoppable.
boatunstoppable
↓
0b38f7cb-48c7-4dfd-983f-9256f1cb62c9.gif
We can modify the propeller for more thrust
modifythrust
↓
ae4240dd-1fa6-4251-b046-074c9f27fc99.gif
and put a titanium tip on the prow.
titanium
↓
132a08f7-5c13-4676-abfc-e18fe3625169.gif
We'll slice his boat in half!
boathalfslice
↓
ad0d22f5-c261-47f0-b5ec-05d07547f4ac.gif
- We can really do all that? - Absolutely.
absolutely
↓
632273cd-1936-4e1b-89e4-d54c7f4d74b3.gif
Could we put a little skipper on the deck?
deckskipper
↓
ddeddec8-4fbc-46f8-9670-439c555b5d46.gif
I don't see why not.
↓
1d456da2-e723-4222-b9f8-2329ee4dba31.gif
Oh, Malcolm, it's times like these
malcolmtimes
↓
ae252a92-773d-4155-9155-6197383c6bdb.gif
I'm certain you weren't switched at birth.
birthcertainswitched
↓
3ea4e603-ba08-415e-ae68-e1b16f5dce4d.gif
Thanks, Dad.
thanks
↓
fc762e9a-832b-4c75-b0be-a7df26deb529.gif
Now come on. We got a lot of work to do.
↓
0828981b-c7aa-45f2-89a7-6f815e2de102.gif
Cookie?
cookie
↓
a4de9fcd-a2ed-4174-a481-899230c6ac89.gif
Oh, thank you.
↓
f69222d9-7d6e-415a-84e5-7fd5b9ebb33b.gif
- Gotcha! - Oh!
gotcha
↓
26feb214-8108-43c1-bfd4-399b5832dff4.gif
Sorry, Hal, I thought you were someone else.
↓
c7a4257f-b20c-45d4-b62e-b8d69d6636e9.gif
What are you doing?
↓
e21632b5-6a86-4e1f-ada9-180a5d4fa7e5.gif
How long have you been in there?
↓
0de80033-166a-4237-838b-efef9151333e.gif
- Just a few hours. - A few hours?!
hours
↓
35131ece-ff52-4f32-b657-8adb545887a5.gif
What's going on?
↓
a13f4ffc-4822-476c-a00e-cb60a19126ea.gif
I don't know, Hal.
↓
e5940324-f4c5-4a68-b7e9-4410a8ed1067.gif
I think one of the boys is screwing with me.
boysscrewing
↓
44af1dac-7096-48c2-83c4-17be818f40b7.gif
My bookmark was on the wrong page.
page
↓
876a0a4f-67ad-42dc-970d-bf32b062933f.gif
I found a loose thread on my smock.
foundlooseloose-threadthread
↓
765f9001-ec87-4a03-8a2f-135be87290e0.gif
The car radio was tuned to a station
radiostationtuned
↓
d51615cb-debe-419c-90d1-141281698a18.gif
next to the one that I always listen to.
↓
8b063506-95a7-4b70-b086-75ccf95d1a2b.gif
Oh, my God, I sound insane, don't I?
insanesound
↓
d3afd9c9-33ee-4542-ad87-0362e19e2d95.gif
Honey, what you need is to take a step back,
honeystep
↓
dcbeb112-5aa4-4297-80bb-e8b87af13f9f.gif
clear your head.
clearhead
↓
8629a242-21ae-4543-b6e8-ccdbe5571146.gif
You know what helps me?
helps
↓
7e9d3f0b-681e-4d58-b22c-69d3c4e80eaa.gif
Working with Malcolm to weaponize my boat.
boatmalcolmworking
↓
c8b019a6-0f63-4341-8499-faa2108c1194.gif
I understand you're very upset,
upset
↓
498ed4eb-405c-4686-997d-6d22381c36f5.gif
but if you would just let me get a word in.
word
↓
f1fab70a-a616-4e83-85ad-72a978ac0e97.gif
I know I'm the new guy,
↓
b01f3c11-1739-4162-8b3c-50d454c31464.gif
but you've been on the phone
phone
↓
12d90ee5-e2e7-42b3-9316-b7c28c1b5403.gif
for a half hour and you haven't closed this deal?
closeddealhalfhalf-hourhour
↓
47a2a987-1678-42c6-85e0-2104a18cb180.gif
Remember your ABCs: Always Be Selling.
rememberselling
↓
2fe02b7f-7362-452c-871f-a509c612e958.gif
I can't interrupt him when he's in the middle of...
interruptmiddle
↓
5e095e4d-52a4-43f8-9490-abb9483b7665.gif
Hey, this isn't tele-listening. Give me the phone.
listeningphone
↓
a48af4e5-f7d5-4810-905a-5a596660edde.gif
I'll show you how to churn butter.
butter
↓
983a6a1a-8816-4d10-8fa1-907653bd5039.gif
All right, Gabby,
↓
2badd9f7-84a6-4840-8fa9-a2ed2961f1a5.gif
we have better things to do than talk to you all day.
↓
daa654e1-f9f0-4cfa-ad8f-3a6bd22fa1a7.gif
Now, give me one reason why you don't need an air purifier.
reason
↓
252d8124-3376-49c2-b340-5bbe48a70bd1.gif
I'm going to kill myself.
kill
↓
91046f28-defd-4da4-b626-112ada653892.gif
Nice try. I use that excuse all the time.
excuse
↓
a41c1f7b-a585-4876-a8fb-7ef1ab9e65f5.gif
No, I'm serious.
serious
↓
ee976684-3c33-43ab-93e7-932f3969b9c5.gif
I-I just feel like I can't go on.
↓
7f396dda-9a4f-4898-b1c4-a37f4e2b2d27.gif
I'm clinically depressed.
depressed
↓
45ae04a6-eb93-48bc-9c64-ae414c64c87f.gif
My cat died because it was allergic to me.
allergicdied
↓
eef33d47-0b47-434b-8d75-ff44eb2353de.gif
Uh-oh, my wife ran off with my brother Ted,
brotherwife
↓
9670d1eb-e10c-470d-994b-ac88f022deb0.gif
and then my family's on his side...
familysside
↓
65a66a94-a82f-4487-9aee-c499881cf47d.gif
- Then I'm not allow... - Get the manual!
allowmanual
↓
b7c4be36-acc6-47d2-8980-078182696695.gif
All right, Dewey, I know what's going on.
dewey
↓
49afe676-6443-4a62-ba7b-8fddbbd37113.gif
I know it's you.
↓
a29b5d77-2062-4122-9fb5-4341a365aa14.gif
If it were Reese, he'd be bragging to everyone about it.
braggingreese
↓
516def66-4846-427d-b45a-57040060fe4f.gif
Malcolm doesn't have the patience.
malcolmpatience
↓
79a03710-161b-4d9f-b2b5-b4bcd8a66411.gif
So, that leaves you, Dewey.
deweyleaves
↓
d336b65b-89f2-40db-a4bb-b0207b553c5a.gif
If I had any proof, we'd be having this conversation
conversationhavingproof
↓
f505d16d-3da6-4b26-bdf0-5b96d1889a0d.gif
while I was walling you up inside your bedroom closet.
bedroomcloset
↓
6b3b12fc-de08-41ce-82d8-0205d6262aa2.gif
This is about the volcano, isn't it?
volcano
↓
7276e044-6699-4b86-a28e-6dc72c73bf6a.gif
All right, I acknowledge
acknowledge
↓
e978bed4-c035-4f8f-9b13-6e7f87652f98.gif
that perhaps I was a little inconsiderate of your needs,
inconsiderateneedsperhaps
↓
15965458-e587-4992-a66e-adc53071fddc.gif
but that in no way justifies these petty attacks.
attackspetty
↓
9da59be9-5243-495d-aeca-2254b7e5cb90.gif
Still, we have to move on.
↓
d98ca8df-7ee6-46e7-b0f2-8242ccfe2db0.gif
So, here's the deal:
deal
↓
cfe87813-5e1f-427d-bd61-efc366821f5a.gif
In the future, I promise to be more attentive
futurepromise
↓
4fa4187f-f377-4ba6-8a85-e6fb60591dfe.gif
and aware of your feelings,
awarefeelings
↓
34f28769-fdad-4313-ad1d-3cb5bed4ca17.gif
not that being the loving mother I am,
lovingmother
↓
b975572b-0c71-4a35-a31b-5f4efeff810f.gif
I wouldn't be doing that anyway.
↓
386fa03a-cd88-4833-a156-d1afeb42dc27.gif
Aha!
↓
58a37f5c-c67c-4aa9-9cc3-53b98f1a59ff.gif
And in return, you will promise
promisereturn
↓
8442ecea-4c6c-471d-9cb1-4779e568fc1a.gif
to stop this stupid campaign to drive me crazy.
campaigncrazydrivestupid
↓
e086d5cc-3048-4a72-9143-82584883ca71.gif
Just give me a little sign that we understand each other.
sign
↓
34cc0962-7679-42af-ad61-44283bea4013.gif
Good.
↓
80f6e7f4-aea6-4dc9-91ce-82b9018c8e38.gif
Just be cool, Malcolm.
coolmalcolm
↓
5750e60c-dfcf-4b2d-9d00-4b97367280e7.gif
As far as anyone knows,
knows
↓
2f7d78ca-80e2-4c61-840f-5bbf6330ac77.gif
we're just a normal father and son who love each other.
fatherlovenormal
↓
4bae6188-a01a-4dce-a8a4-372b3cd5eb34.gif
Stay calm. There's a woman with a stroller.
calmwoman
↓
49066ff5-6488-47e8-9bed-8adb7c5071c3.gif
Wave with me so it looks natural.
naturalwave
↓
dbc2cb68-1663-4241-af2d-d92a23ef2488.gif
Good, she's buying it. Arms down.
armsbuying
↓
be09c922-d1f8-4471-90d7-ed2ed41d2f55.gif
No one suspects a thing.
suspects
↓
c6a0a914-0e5a-47e7-a7dc-2dac42acdca1.gif
Steer clear of those ducks.
clearduckssteer
↓
05cf2864-f7bc-475c-bd15-8d47c666a03e.gif
We'll deal with them later.
deal
↓
be9e2579-71d8-41ba-940f-e53dcff68421.gif
I hope this kid shows up soon.
hopeshows
↓
454073ce-cead-4ccf-9bf7-5a9e97bda687.gif
I was planning on visiting Stevie today.
planningstevietodayvisiting
↓
ebc95a01-c987-404d-b7cd-3db266a5d881.gif
You just saw him yesterday, didn't you?
yesterday
↓
05b479a5-ad2c-44a1-857f-1d31541c7e80.gif
Not exactly.
↓
3b355294-e457-4ac6-854b-1d3e421d5af7.gif
But you did see him over the weekend, right?
weekend
↓
bd83f75c-d576-40c1-95de-742e48c387c9.gif
No.
↓
6f7e83ac-dfb8-4fc1-b3ec-b95cd57907ab.gif
Wait.
↓
4a5c2de5-4b8d-4c97-b7a1-f37db0a0dece.gif
How many times have you seen Stevie?
seenstevietimes
↓
d5e490bb-bf20-4c70-befa-d1df42e1cf5f.gif
If you add them all up...
↓
b6203fc4-6df8-4902-9e1e-6ad3775b6232.gif
none.
↓
2537d77d-61f4-4489-9200-4853e5e0dfb8.gif
None?
↓
4b18bf57-a53d-4486-a397-ad93c8129b8c.gif
Malcolm, I can't believe what I'm hearing.
believehearingmalcolm
↓
d893d8d2-ce7f-44dd-ba52-bebdb92688f1.gif
Your best friend
bestbest-friendfriend
↓
2593a885-f89f-4cfe-b2d6-221ceaec2833.gif
is in the hospital, and you're here
hospital
↓
8707a3ea-e7ed-475e-802d-85f2db3c843d.gif
helping me stalk a ten-year-old.
helpingstalk
↓
eda1601e-1b92-4e60-9661-cb14a646da15.gif
I'm trying, but visiting someone in the hospital
hospitalvisiting
↓
863d483e-551e-411c-97da-2e4dc8b8169f.gif
isn't as easy as you might think.
easymight
↓
01b82a4d-a138-4577-9929-fae98199c195.gif
Malcolm, don't you see what you're doing?
malcolm
↓
5b41e390-08fb-4d28-99f7-e1e71f08384e.gif
You're just avoiding an unpleasant situation.
avoidingsituationunpleasant
↓
7e7603ef-2fb8-42c8-919b-4d9b120a05c9.gif
I know.
↓
64a85184-f8c7-4f82-bbac-460c1d1beaa3.gif
It's just that Stevie and I
stevie
↓
f5ffb82b-91d2-4fb2-a73a-e091bc7cee99.gif
have never really talked seriously about his illnesses.
illnessestalked
↓
b4ae5ad0-98ca-431d-854d-3bacf25a6d39.gif
We've kind of had this
↓
d8a33038-6f7b-4850-9e98-d66e4976792b.gif
unspoken agreement that
agreementunspoken
↓
3f9e16ae-511f-4d47-bdff-0b841e71c969.gif
he was just a regular kid.
regular
↓
e82fa77a-7a32-463c-8bf6-4c4d8497df2d.gif
If I had to see him lying in his hospital bed,
hospitallying
↓
57cf9440-477e-4510-89c8-001f94e889f3.gif
hooked up to God knows what,
hookedknows
↓
c9497283-e024-4027-bd66-3256637494a1.gif
it's kind of hard to pretend like nothing's wrong.
hardnothingspretend
↓
d2d507c4-b93d-4cac-8776-e20441e86645.gif
I just don't know what to say.
↓
a1d4fd02-5c0d-45a1-85ba-152b093f4cda.gif
Son, don't think about it.
↓
93e1b811-62c2-460a-8ad5-fc2d016d586c.gif
Sometimes all you have to say is hello.
sometimes
↓
67a762c8-a7e5-4fad-a313-440a471e00db.gif
That's a great way to put it.
↓
b9793f1c-8448-4b8d-a153-f0989d02725d.gif
So simple.
simple
↓
909f1ce3-c659-41f3-90e2-b2bad6212140.gif
I got it off that bus bench over there.
bench
↓
0698a7a0-47ec-4a3d-9d88-75313956b82c.gif
It's an ad for a long-distance company.
companydistance
↓
34793346-4e67-4843-bdaa-e33f2b3ddf13.gif
You get yourself down to that hospital
hospital
↓
9c170263-58ab-4cb3-9e4c-dbaefe0badb5.gif
and show Stevie that you give a damn.
stevie
↓
d3212c3f-d5fd-48d3-b158-9281b79cc63e.gif
- Thanks, Dad. - All right.
thanks
↓
58df65a1-1346-4b90-b2da-644897f94089.gif
It's high noon somewhere.
noon
↓
cbe86f1e-5896-40db-a0ce-e5ade7a16f05.gif
Not this time.
↓
0cebe678-567b-49f8-9b89-a41b0bfed33c.gif
Ha!
↓
c02f721b-c40c-4fc2-a82c-75638683a366.gif
Ha! (angry grunt)
angrygrunt
↓
a1f8ec83-ee57-4d6a-ab43-08908e6923ef.gif
Oh, no! What am I ever going to do?
↓
2e540fcd-fbc6-40d5-9ccf-aa15b6d13809.gif
What about this?
↓
af33d67c-716e-45b0-ac0a-b420aae0a018.gif
Say hello to my little friend!
friend
↓
c999ec27-d1de-4eee-ac0b-c5bbec2144fb.gif
Hey, you broke my boat!
boatbroke
↓
4ea2a85f-3093-40e5-b35a-80dc893d65c5.gif
It's that kind of party, little man.
party
↓
47e40195-8873-45de-9d9f-1ecfe47a56a7.gif
That was my granddad's boat.
boat
↓
c2ca0000-eed2-4bc0-a743-010e6a1987cb.gif
He gave it to me before he died.
died
↓
732e7163-b3bd-496f-a5c9-231c40bdadc0.gif
He started it.
started
↓
af9bcee1-dc96-4ac3-8004-f25b17b4071b.gif
LYLE There just doesn't seem like
lyle
↓
6e0c9c42-af62-4e08-931d-72308df213f8.gif
there's any reason to go on living.
livingreason
↓
3c25c940-16eb-4c72-9a81-5d5efad7361b.gif
I'm overweight, I-I don't have any friends.
friendsoverweight
↓
1be26262-fc9d-4adb-b8a3-955cde6422a5.gif
I just...
↓
da9d2a14-58b2-4661-b769-f3c8ec9fe50b.gif
Look...
↓
20746829-7c1d-4cc0-82dd-9031cd90d371.gif
Look, this is pointless.
pointless
↓
c99cb35d-7610-4c63-a116-340635b2034e.gif
I'm just gonna hang up
hang
↓
3b2fbd2a-41b9-4675-9d80-1fed7b34e65f.gif
No one cares about me.
cares
↓
f9fbd318-9ee2-45a1-9e61-72a251e95f93.gif
Listen, Lyle,
lyle
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I'm as lost as you are.
lost
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I mean... I may not even graduate high school.
graduateschool
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I'm completely broke.
brokecompletely
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If I disappeared, who would notice?
disappearednotice
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But now I've got a purpose.
purpose
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Maybe you and I were meant to talk today.
meanttoday
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You mean like... like fate?
fate
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Exactly.
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Maybe life is like a roller coaster,
coasterliferollerroller-coaster
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and you only go down so you can fun coming back up.
comingfun
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Maybe.
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Well, I... I actually feel a little better.
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Now, this is what I want you to do.
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I want you to walk into the bathroom,
bathroomwalk
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and I want to hear you flush those pills down the toilet.
flushpillstoilet
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They're gone.
gone
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I did it.
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Good job.
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I don't know what to say,
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but thank you, Reese. Thank you.
reese
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Don't thank me, Lyle.
lyle
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This is all you.
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You should feel good about yourself for what you did today.
today
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You should treat yourself
treat
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to something really nice.
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Why don't you take out your credit card
cardcreditcredit-card
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and buy a dozen air purifiers.
dozen
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Well, that sounds a little expensive.
expensivesounds
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I just saved your life and now you're questioning me?!
lifequestioningsaved
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Look, I'm, I'm sorry. I was just...
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Every minute I'm talking to you, the price is going up!
minuteprice
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I want those numbers now, do you hear me?
numbers
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Let me find my wallet.
wallet
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Just give him the damn TV.
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Look who's in the hospital.
hospital
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Stevie Kenarban. What a surprise.
kenarbansteviestevie-kenarbansurprise
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Well, if you think
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I came down here to feel sorry for you,
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you've got another think coming.
anothercoming
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'Cause I didn't feel sorry for you
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when they bolted your spine
spine
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or you got that mold on your brain,
brainmold
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and I'm not going to feel sorry for you now.
↓
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Glad you didn't die.
glad
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See you when you get out.
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Oh, and here's your cookie.
cookie
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I told you... he'd come.