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Malcolm in the Middle

Season 5, Episode 10 โ€” Hot Tub

TMDB episode metadata
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So you can shoot free throws better than me.
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Fine. Whatever. Big deal.
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That's all you've got on me.
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Can you stop a ceiling fan with your head?
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I didn't think so.
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And look at this.
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My Popsicle's like twice the size of yours.
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- What a score. I am totally-- - Reese.
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Oh.
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Never mind.
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โ™ช Yes, no, maybe โ™ช
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โ™ช I don't know โ™ช
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โ™ช Life is unfair โ™ช
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I did it. I got my learner's permit.
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I can drive anywhere with an adult.
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The adult does not have to be visible from the outside. I checked.
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Everyone taking the test was trying to copy off him.
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Wow, Mom's actually proud of me.
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It's kind of nice to finally have my moment in--
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Dewey. Oh, my God!
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Is this what it looks like?
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Oh, Noah, it is such a pleasure to meet you.
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- I can't tell you how thrilled I am-- - Mom.
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If we seem too excited, we're going to spook him.
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So, as far as you're concerned, this is just another day.
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Come on, Noah.
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Dewey?
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Okay, I'm done now.
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Honey, come on out here. I have a surprise for you!
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- What is this? - It's a hot tub, Lois.
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Are you out of your mind? We can't afford a hot tub.
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That's what I said, too,
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but then the sales guy showed me how wrong I was.
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Boys, get out here!
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We always make these kinds of decisions together.
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It was an in-store promotion.
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We got 20 percent off on the spot!
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Plus a tub club card, plus free caulking.
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And that's where they kill you, the caulking.
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- Hal-- - A hot tub. Sweet.
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This is just what it's like here.
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We're always getting great stuff like hot tubs.
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Hal, you're taking it back.
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What about the boys?
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Don't they get a say in this?
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Yeah, Mom, it'll be great for entertaining.
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We're what?
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Lois, you don't get deals like this without making a commitment.
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It's zero percent interest.
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$2,800!?
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Don't worry.
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I don't mind.
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The baby's head was in the sun.
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Francis!
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You wouldn't believe what happened, I almost--
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Otto! Oh, my God!
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You okay?
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Manfred Schmidt.
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Did I tell you?
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It's like a trip back to the old amniotic sac.
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I'll drive!
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Oh, no, I'll be fine, really.
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Honey, take a load off.
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No, thanks.
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Since you've decided we're a family where everyone does whatever they want,
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what I want is to not be in the hot tub.
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These jets are great.
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I couldn't hear a word she said.
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And if you really listen, everything has its own vibration.
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The trees and the grass,
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and really crank it--
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Oh, stop here.
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- What about the drugstore? - I just need to grab something.
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This is cool.
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I get to drive. Plus I got to know Polly a little bit better.
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It turns out she hasn't had a TV in 12 years,
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and instead of chemicals, her dry cleaner uses tea.
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Okay, but the driving is still cool.
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- Go. Go. Go! - What?
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I said go!
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What did you do?
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Malcolm, just give me a second to explain. I didn't do anything wrong.
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Trust me, we're not in any danger.
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Then take your foot off the gas.
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Okay, what did you take? What is that thing?
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This is mine.
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It belongs to me.
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My ex-boyfriend Danny took it and he wouldn't give it back,
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and this happens to be my mother.
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Your what?
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My mother's in here. Her ashes.
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I meant to get her a nicer urn,
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but they just raised my tuition at the Wicca School.
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So, why couldn't you just ask the guy for the ashes?
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I don't think that would be a really good route to go with Danny.
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He's a very troubled man.
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- What? - Please don't tell your parents, okay?
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I need you to keep this between us, please?
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I love Jamie, and he loves me,
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and I'd be crushed if I couldn't see him.
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Literally.
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Emotions can compress organs, Malcolm.
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So, can you help me out on this?
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Fine.
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This is weird.
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All I keep thinking is, it is so cool that I'm driving.
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Francis, have you seen Otto?
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What's the matter?
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I don't like letting him out of my sight. He's been so accident-prone.
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In the past few days, he smashed up both our cars.
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He keeps falling down the stairs.
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This morning, he set his hair on fire with his reading glasses.
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Gretchen, my love, I wonder if you can fetch the tweezers.
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I seem to have an ass-full of cactus.
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Otto, and it was just beginning to heal.
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Well, I'm sorry. It's not like I'm doing this on purpose.
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Oh!
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Francis, I'm afraid I'm doing this on purpose.
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- What, hurting yourself? - No, I don't know.
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It doesn't seem like all of these things could be accidents.
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It's like there is some subconscious drive
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to punish myself for some unknown--
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Otto, what does the name Manfred Schmidt mean to you?
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I haven't thought about him for years.
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I'm-- Oh, oh...
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- What? - Manfred Schmidt is Gretchen's fiancรฉ.
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Well, he was, until I stole her.
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You stole Gretchen?
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He was my best friend,
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but I was in love with Gretchen, too.
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And on the day they were going to elope,
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I told Manfred that Gretchen had already gone
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and that she would meet him at the train station in Berlin.
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Oh, Otto.
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Poor Gretchen stood in the rain for hours, devastated.
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And then I came along and I comforted her,
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and one thing led to another thing,
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and, uh, well, here we are, 25 years of perfect love...
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built on a lie.
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Otto, this is obviously tearing you up inside.
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Why don't you just call this guy
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and apologize before you end up hurting yourself?
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Francis, I don't think I have the courage.
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Besides, now that I know what is behind it,
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maybe the problem will go away.
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Those are thumb tacks.
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Dad.
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Noah and I were supposed to play together,
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but when I got to his house, he wasn't there.
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I waited for an hour, but he never showed up.
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Don't be so negative.
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Maybe he got hurt and was taken to the hospital,
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or maybe his grandmother died.
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And then my guy parachutes in and shoots your guy.
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Oh, I'm cold.
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I'm so cold.
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Oh, come on, Jamie. Here comes the airplane.
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Come on, say "ah."
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I think the tension in my neck was dulling my taste buds.
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- These hamburgers are amazing, honey. - Well, thank you.
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And even with the cheese, it came in for less than $2,800.
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- Who has the mustard? - I don't know.
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Maybe Reese stole it.
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Like he steals everything.
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Well, maybe the mustard likes me better.
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Maybe the mustard and I have more fun.
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You totally stole Noah from me.
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Whoa, you can't just change subjects on me.
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We were talking about mustard.
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I was talking about Noah.
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Oh, man, what a great kid. It's like having a little brother.
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He was proud of me when I beat the crap out of Craig Jansen for him.
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It was a nice moment.
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- Malcolm, how was your drive today? - Fine.
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- Just went to the Lucky Aide and back? - Yeah.
โ†“
396d3171-a5eb-440a-a7d7-4f02f66d2e42.gif
Lucky Aide is only two and a half miles each way,
โ†“
eb6579bc-f96a-4d51-a407-8f6c489b6833.gif
yet the odometer mysteriously gained 23 miles.
โ†“
fbeaa8aa-c716-4b3d-9130-2f61d645b5c6.gif
Okay, well, after I dropped Polly off, I took the car by myself.
โ†“
159ad399-01d9-4da3-b237-c8e6cd1f1e8a.gif
I'm sorry. I was just so excited.
โ†“
f50b2a1d-15bd-4f3e-9fc2-a85d464932d5.gif
And I wanted to show off, so I drove around the mall.
โ†“
4364df3f-6ac4-4c48-a839-3d32d8529489.gif
Well, thank you for being honest with me.
โ†“
9aa1929f-6e68-45ad-97e3-70e487ea5425.gif
- Now give me the permit. - What?
โ†“
f12269fe-a684-4b64-840a-710672cef9f2.gif
Two months without driving.
โ†“
eb19084c-9f9d-46a8-8316-38dcb72fc35b.gif
- Mom... - You were honest with me,
โ†“
9f57e9ee-1a1a-4b25-bbda-7edf37937f4f.gif
so I won't wad this up and throw it down the waste disposal.
โ†“
dcfcd3cc-2943-498c-b836-144df46bf148.gif
That's so unfair. Dad?
โ†“
1d114df4-527c-4565-86f6-64d5fe65cb7e.gif
Malcolm, you know I always agree with your mother.
โ†“
96020be5-d9de-413f-b10c-9b770d573963.gif
Whether or not she holds herself to the same standard.
โ†“
e028784b-096b-430c-94df-e027efcbf860.gif
That's it!
โ†“
8819235d-57b4-45b4-af17-715ab1d7d58f.gif
I'm sick of all the noise around here!
โ†“
25e640b2-b84c-4442-a578-252ab24d6601.gif
Everybody out.
โ†“
3ce74203-40c6-45dc-8691-01fde1f15df3.gif
Hal, you're taking the boys to the movies, now.
โ†“
dd0a8614-e15d-4855-ab97-318de5ceade0.gif
Everybody up. Let's go, let's go.
โ†“
66739561-8c74-42a8-acd5-539ef709738c.gif
Well, I didn't know the movie was gonna be sold out.
โ†“
cfce0512-390e-40aa-8615-b59613407a5e.gif
I'll get the paper.
โ†“
c3148b57-5576-44e6-955a-75637ffc0513.gif
I didn't wanna see the dog movie anyway.
โ†“
1a5a52bc-4d45-4766-bac0-f804d2e104a3.gif
Well, whatever we see, I have to be back by 7:00.
โ†“
319022e2-327b-43bd-bbcc-20394516af1b.gif
Me and Noah are ambushing Kevin Teevens.
โ†“
a5a179e2-6a67-4ec3-b617-8ba41c60a909.gif
Another one? What are you, his enforcer?
โ†“
fd239bff-991c-4b91-8b2a-3d15ed856b07.gif
It's called being a friend.
โ†“
47ce9548-56ff-4e5a-a47a-125b32f43f0e.gif
Okay, what do you boys wanna see?
โ†“
5f7e139b-671a-4035-bc26-775826a611fe.gif
I don't care.
โ†“
a9f87f05-3d67-4f74-9009-1fe2ebf368f2.gif
The real fun is being driven there by my dad.
โ†“
8688f2e2-f2e9-4afb-85d3-75cd1a73f0ac.gif
Come on.
โ†“
7e5d499e-e6d0-4e6a-bc1c-4e41e7543bae.gif
Hey, what about this one?
โ†“
729e3158-e8b8-4637-8e8d-7c108942375a.gif
There's a review right here.
โ†“
6232d3fc-0a5a-433e-9c5a-84435dd716f4.gif
Sounds good.
โ†“
60a14a88-b81c-49b8-900c-81561aea9a5e.gif
Let's go.
โ†“
1c22c580-4124-476e-a192-94ff5353b3d8.gif
Ah!
โ†“
1e2ac9e9-e4e0-4e1f-a706-306b201dced2.gif
โ™ช Baby, being next to you Baby, you got the moves... โ™ช
โ†“
e70f662c-dd97-4147-882e-2207c2af32d9.gif
Well, he's missing out on a great cardio workout.
โ†“
439d0242-8512-409a-ae3e-5b09715b3336.gif
Malcolm, right?
โ†“
234c1b40-6aeb-487f-8896-5ae741a65bef.gif
- Who are you? - My name is Danny.
โ†“
a826d95c-73b8-4ee0-a695-760f5aa32311.gif
I believe you took something that belongs to me.
โ†“
47780169-7229-40e7-b7c3-8e7f119c0432.gif
You think I wouldn't find you?
โ†“
ca80e906-907c-4ce0-895d-50818eda33fd.gif
You think you could get away? You think I'm stupid?
โ†“
d83a9a53-89de-406b-a3c7-024c15f431f2.gif
Do you think this is fun for me?
fun
โ†“
27feeeb8-5119-445d-bcef-b8533c4f8fa8.gif
I don't know what question to answer.
โ†“
5d3dd542-790d-486b-9988-22ca13141d60.gif
Sinus headache.
โ†“
09c6b822-0458-4601-aafc-6d31d68a4320.gif
The pain makes me furious, the fury makes it more painful,
โ†“
77556dd8-4dc6-4a78-b211-f05ed8058069.gif
and then you just black out and you don't know what you did.
โ†“
1927df30-e47a-4efe-b9df-89e74da1e54f.gif
How can I help you?
โ†“
f7bf57ec-a1b1-4667-a42e-8423ce1eb684.gif
I want the urn that Polly took.
โ†“
a9b0efda-7656-409a-b3a1-d1c22b17b570.gif
You want her mother's ashes?
โ†“
1ec83b2d-c060-4e41-9e58-77c0c5d324d7.gif
She told you her mother's in there?
โ†“
a7a86867-a0f8-4958-aab9-8b192b6966a0.gif
My father's in there.
โ†“
10960098-3c34-48c4-9311-0a48bf6c9681.gif
My father, who I loved,
โ†“
94d584f4-9d3b-4b1a-8f93-5f0de9048861.gif
who went cold-turkey for my graduation.
โ†“
f517a469-98ff-4beb-8abb-195f1b1983e8.gif
That's whose ashes are in there.
โ†“
ed17ec11-0c16-44ad-9bc5-31502d7ea421.gif
- Oh, well-- - You are going to give me that urn.
โ†“
e3b072e5-eb5c-4f72-b926-06451a316bce.gif
I know where you live. So, listen up.
โ†“
8b97c7f3-ef17-467e-b32b-2eb4da0c025c.gif
I'm gonna go get an allergy shot.
โ†“
121fe35c-8f27-433c-8473-c562e1b1d8fb.gif
And right after that,
โ†“
7400b2b1-298d-4a1d-a025-e88f3bdfb3be.gif
I'm coming over to your house for the ashes.
โ†“
2f3b89da-71e2-4a26-88a1-73817d9feb38.gif
Well, look at the giant surprise that happened here.
โ†“
026390b2-0535-4244-a326-6280626b3146.gif
You wanna tell me this wasn't a huge waste of money now?
โ†“
cc6be51a-e66a-4271-a5c6-4f6639e545f9.gif
Every tub has a break-in period.
โ†“
22863d7d-055d-4fab-89ec-19c28eef1d59.gif
It's just adjusting to our natural body chemistry.
โ†“
c4d6c4e1-a840-47d5-8ccd-ac5a10d1c5f5.gif
There's a six-inch crust of algae.
โ†“
f5431a86-7c82-4b70-be1d-2a235655bb30.gif
The tub is fine.
โ†“
aeb75c74-ad8c-4c8e-9dd1-3560604df3c7.gif
See?
โ†“
d4519614-d3b1-498b-bded-0d5553b213c9.gif
โ†“
d33f37ad-3aeb-4202-9459-14ceddeacf38.gif
You lied to me.
โ†“
f295d182-4eac-4242-8089-f8e04acd0f34.gif
What do you mean?
โ†“
880e2583-52f1-47b3-a494-2acc34892798.gif
I just met Danny, and he says his father's ashes are in that urn.
โ†“
c2327a67-62b3-421a-b501-7b847ba07647.gif
Well, yes, they are.
โ†“
6ce44075-d38a-4bb9-84a8-a7347736c206.gif
So, you lied.
โ†“
9d0d1e3d-2df0-4bc8-81ed-82af345b98ba.gif
No, the truth is, it's my mother's ashes,
โ†“
fa9664f3-025e-4c55-9b2d-f8cc9abcb196.gif
his father's ashes, the springer spaniel that we bought together,
โ†“
af78144e-787d-46ce-b04c-82479930facc.gif
- and a cat I had before I met him. - What?
โ†“
f207a448-06c5-449b-9e09-b240e63be392.gif
You know how when you move in with somebody,
โ†“
dbeef7c4-522c-4934-a36f-bdc7360df844.gif
you mix up your plates and your CDs...
โ†“
3ef587fd-f117-4c56-8938-0fcc5b411b73.gif
Look, he was acting really, really scary.
โ†“
9e8c70ea-a5fc-468c-be53-5a1ab13220eb.gif
Like psycho dangerous scary.
โ†“
24096ea7-19f1-491e-97e5-0222cf4f0ef0.gif
Just tell me, do I need to be worried?
โ†“
d2ff5f33-0d1e-4b28-bef2-f5ccd186ebf2.gif
Oh, no. No.
โ†“
30a21ec6-1192-4a59-bc9f-150058524f01.gif
Yes.
โ†“
b3357d67-0872-4270-8b2a-e7c234b2600d.gif
Oh, God. All right.
โ†“
054fe77b-d6f9-481f-86c0-f2fb00b60401.gif
I've got to think.
โ†“
2ff60e13-b152-410c-a3bc-f57b67aa7d6e.gif
I'll think of something.
โ†“
808e8d27-f2d1-4ed7-b1b5-864290e9a043.gif
I couldn't think of anything.
โ†“
1da71fb2-c102-483e-8245-a8a1a3ee2f99.gif
We're out of the city, you can turn on the headlights.
โ†“
63ba18d2-1413-4fd7-baf3-d7afdab24f0e.gif
Okay, his plane landed an hour ago. He should be here any minute.
โ†“
196d1756-e04a-4f2c-a2aa-d4cff6a95433.gif
Manfred Schmidt.
โ†“
fd82025a-e2cf-4759-8cda-ae4e617e0a33.gif
What if the fire is still there between him and Gretchen?
โ†“
0cb22793-dde6-4a5f-9856-123dddca7118.gif
Come on, Otto. You know how much Gretchen loves you.
โ†“
3a098ebe-3eb0-4830-8486-db2ae6edff2f.gif
I can do this.
โ†“
dd66594a-05b7-4afa-93b1-b400516ab61e.gif
I will go get Gretchen.
โ†“
e6019859-626f-4a8a-abe7-7d831d1dcb49.gif
Thank you very much.
โ†“
f2be6795-932b-420e-9cf9-cbfe0c0c80e8.gif
Uh, please, make sure my chef finds the kitchen.
โ†“
6f2a3c43-e3e2-4136-b32c-bf59e7a9e11d.gif
Mr. Schmidt, welcome.
โ†“
91f1413c-d3aa-4e7e-9a1b-18e563946b1f.gif
- Did you have a nice flight? - Ah, yes, thanks.
โ†“
857e7735-eb6d-4ff8-9bf7-3c60daa86553.gif
When you fly your own jet,
โ†“
0d9f0cc1-160c-449e-a1ca-b163562f7f40.gif
it always makes the time go so much faster.
โ†“
8e963b7d-12cb-42f0-91d8-6051a8b71e6c.gif
Uh, did your wife come with you?
โ†“
058d363f-392f-4c32-bce1-f8b539ce1f0e.gif
Oh, I never married.
โ†“
d5f6e086-3690-445c-a701-ee46cf7690f7.gif
After Gretchen broke my heart, I just couldn't.
โ†“
b0caa754-83c9-4f44-b652-4f3f2e748023.gif
Every day I think of what might have been,
โ†“
32dd6675-245c-4e6d-b9cd-981a03daa997.gif
and now, thanks to you, what still could be.
โ†“
b3413512-c218-4e25-8e2d-ec9dd254a741.gif
Do you think she likes giant diamonds?
โ†“
a83bc2a4-208c-4ae3-a1e2-2fbdad83e0c5.gif
Uh...
โ†“
b623c114-0dbb-4128-a155-d5e71931b57d.gif
Look, there's been a change in plans.
โ†“
27bf31b5-372f-4a87-b17c-4357c8c3b602.gif
Gretchen isn't here.
โ†“
611bbc50-d774-4930-8f6d-41f325bfbc3e.gif
- I'm afraid she stood you up. - What?
โ†“
36569642-8590-4819-9c61-0d01914675b0.gif
She said she wasn't interested. And then she disappeared.
โ†“
910652dd-9ccf-4b38-b61f-44e55c478f07.gif
Tough break.
โ†“
2da8af5b-4680-4067-9e16-ff0acbac51fe.gif
I don't believe you.
โ†“
6c1bdc33-6121-4efd-948e-63d6ae4033bd.gif
Seriously. You know how flighty Gretchen can be.
โ†“
b239b83f-53bd-4eba-8385-f01d8ed7ac3f.gif
I didn't come all the way from Germany to be turned away by some messenger boy.
โ†“
57592283-c168-4f41-9722-0c34744c4788.gif
I'm not leaving until I see Gretchen.
โ†“
dfd8b186-d162-4657-8e11-cd572c402a60.gif
Otto, why are you being so mysterious?
โ†“
11463705-b761-4a14-acc7-ead3c58f53fa.gif
What is this big terrible secret?
โ†“
65f6f6d3-ba62-4f24-a8fe-2a1a7b4a233f.gif
Well...
โ†“
9543b912-a01b-4cfd-9a44-2572d80ebf9c.gif
Otto paid way too much for these earrings.
โ†“
355f5e57-dfb6-4ea5-9f97-635eb7adbcbe.gif
Oh, Otto.
โ†“
0936e8ff-1e06-428f-9be2-b1fc63301df6.gif
Okay, my mom says I can stay for dinner.
โ†“
583b2022-872d-41fd-91a8-34fe93d7c8a7.gif
Cool.
โ†“
57e946a6-9d31-40fe-b4a7-48cd71607d24.gif
Oh, Dewey. Noah's gonna need your chair.
โ†“
ff42535f-ab15-4ebe-b756-d2f3b80a0e4e.gif
He's not your friend, Reese.
โ†“
bae44885-0d93-4614-bbc3-ff18f3023058.gif
Noah just made friends with me to get to you.
โ†“
23b47922-6c66-4864-8710-e0bd18947fe1.gif
And he's just using you to beat people up for him.
โ†“
23a03fb5-2922-4d21-9c8a-35d91e51de18.gif
Reese, take him out.
โ†“
75005ab9-aef7-4f10-87db-59ce5ef284a8.gif
No, listen.
โ†“
9511881c-1713-4ffe-bbc1-cef00a3dd618.gif
Last week, three kids beat the crap out of him.
โ†“
a66579b2-ff36-4579-ab25-5ba45b569918.gif
He's not tough enough to get them back, but you are.
โ†“
e910568d-858a-4904-b36c-50e59cbe1e00.gif
You already paid back Kevin Teevens and Craig Jansen.
โ†“
57133c69-bd5a-4699-989e-59f95c7f3a31.gif
All that's left is Todd Lemmon.
โ†“
df82f940-524a-4fac-bbcd-92273581c9fc.gif
And I took care of him myself.
โ†“
2c7e67f1-899f-414b-9f7c-796ec59a62f3.gif
Here's a piece of his T-shirt.
โ†“
c394f36f-17a6-48a0-8935-fd479643a327.gif
Here's his retainer with part of a tooth still on it.
โ†“
c84a3e5d-1443-4260-aab5-d2956cece1c3.gif
And here's my four-day suspension slip.
โ†“
aaa7c892-8e95-443a-ab69-d30990a46c6b.gif
Wow, you really nailed him.
โ†“
0ea5f152-8ac8-4ee3-a7bf-6f7956b341b7.gif
Thanks, Dewey.
โ†“
3b88d836-fe28-4352-8451-a3399351b076.gif
Go to hell, Reese.
โ†“
1587a811-2c1f-4857-a5b6-cb1d8e709a43.gif
Wait.
โ†“
42bb65b0-a27f-4dab-9e94-c4aed1ba6722.gif
So, it's just over?
โ†“
53cda800-e180-4b1b-acc2-0daba7753a47.gif
Is that all I was to you,
โ†“
b0265f90-6d66-48e9-956e-9221780afb5f.gif
a couple of fists?
โ†“
a119e004-d8de-47df-b175-072a69250c63.gif
I have some guys you can beat up for me.
โ†“
c89ef338-25da-4b51-96f7-f8584b19f01b.gif
It's too soon.
โ†“
c3deebbf-799d-4743-bbf9-d8bc90cfaf19.gif
Are you positive Danny won't go to our house?
โ†“
acdaefe9-b41b-4bd2-8eb6-1fdbd7f8e396.gif
I told him specifically
โ†“
d695baca-f04b-4a80-b72b-918834cdb628.gif
that he wouldn't find us or the ashes there.
โ†“
9e113953-e517-4344-8b67-4972283a9f89.gif
I just hope he checks his messages.
โ†“
49dd899b-7818-4d1d-8c2a-83ba52a741cd.gif
Danny's not home!
โ†“
7b3ea53b-1033-4fed-9290-91f417b47d25.gif
That doesn't work when he's in the car.
โ†“
26a37f5e-e264-44d1-98cc-acd1ace96873.gif
Let go. Let go!
โ†“
50cfc0ed-d431-474b-9ab6-5e1339c2384f.gif
What are you doing here?
โ†“
25538915-c325-40c2-8665-c24f9ab906b3.gif
I'm here to get what's mine.
โ†“
e83721db-e3ff-452f-aea8-03f35d93f5a3.gif
- You had no right to take my father. - Your father? Please.
โ†“
8e57d24c-7012-46fc-b920-567cd14c0d43.gif
When he was sick, you made him live in a junked-out car in the backyard.
โ†“
058cacca-1e0c-4ca8-a068-d816ce44266d.gif
That was a Le Saber! Do you hear the way she talks to me?
โ†“
7e7bdf6c-b977-4cff-9da8-2b2093157bb5.gif
I'm just driving.
โ†“
1b6e1451-7ed4-47ff-ad5c-614c828c684b.gif
We had an agreement.
โ†“
6413abec-98c4-4c66-8a85-5623aaa6a76b.gif
We said the ashes would stay right by the coffeemaker!
โ†“
acf3af7e-7111-4d8d-948c-4a2d5099f61b.gif
And we'd all be together. Forever!
โ†“
870d52ce-d86b-4f2a-ae26-dac070a7cf2a.gif
You and me and our dead ancestors and pets.
โ†“
2b02e035-91e4-458a-9f88-9ce000587bed.gif
Then one day I come home from drum circle
โ†“
8a56563a-94ee-45a5-acf0-18673699fc1c.gif
and you're gone without even saying goodbye!
โ†“
6b0e3fce-0199-4c71-b7e6-eb18a1df6136.gif
Danny, you're the one who violated the agreement,
โ†“
eefe2d0c-19fe-4906-a472-633d76796624.gif
because you had to dominate every moment of my life.
โ†“
7e4ce9eb-539a-434c-aa4a-211e23645445.gif
You even had to cut my hair. And I don't like bangs!
โ†“
b07a0520-a4c4-43c0-8f72-fb7b33bf4112.gif
Are you insane?
โ†“
ae546f21-cdfa-4796-94c3-8e166393444b.gif
With your bone structure, you--
โ†“
1550d686-077a-4374-8091-ab9739cd75d5.gif
Never mind.
โ†“
9d4c7be7-ec43-4822-86dc-c7ec0cae1286.gif
- You're not taking my father. - You can't have my mother.
โ†“
45ac5ed3-a7aa-4dcc-9398-a6863d4442cb.gif
- Oh, I-- Give me the ashes. - I will not.
โ†“
330c41fa-81c5-43a3-bffe-d6a7d4030ce6.gif
- What are you do--? - Malcolm what--?
โ†“
f46d7e47-6561-4edd-a1df-2075c64af2b7.gif
God! No!
โ†“
4f5a433c-ece0-4ce6-8cd6-9110a03e90e1.gif
I have heard enough of this.
โ†“
529912ab-0137-430c-9b7c-f22ad23feaab.gif
I am sick of you people screaming about the ashes
โ†“
57c0ccee-c727-4704-aa36-4e1012e001b4.gif
when it's clearly not about the ashes!
โ†“
c555849f-97a3-421c-a964-956d502b4fc0.gif
It's not?
โ†“
af34970a-c384-4ef2-887c-46835e09105b.gif
I think it is.
โ†“
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The problem is your relationship.
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You're never gonna get past it
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unless you start talking to each other like human beings!
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I guess I freaked out...
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when you left me without even saying goodbye.
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I'm sorry about that.
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We both know it had to end.
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I just couldn't face hurting you.
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You deserved better from me.
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Thank you.
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You're welcome.
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So if, uh, there's nobody else back there, I'm just gonna turn around and go home.
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You're a heart healer, Malcolm.
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I'm pretty sure it's too late for you now,
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but in the next life, you're gonna really cash in.
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I have to say, I've only ever seen this on boats.
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I'm gonna have to make some phone calls on this one.
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Go ahead and say it. I know you're dying to.
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Why do I always have to be the fun killer?
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What are you talking about?
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Do you know what it's like
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to be the person in charge of saying "no"
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all the time?
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I hate it.
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Honey, we depend on you for that.
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You're the one who keeps us from killing ourselves.
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Yes, but all I ever hear is,
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"Why can't we?" and "You never let us."
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Just once,
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can't I be the person who gets to have the fun, crazy idea?
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You know what?
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Absolutely.
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Go ahead.
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What do you have in mind?
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Well, I can't come up with something just on the spot.
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Okay. This should stunt the algae growth.
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This should burn off your outer layer of skin.
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And these pills will gradually kill what's lodged in your urethra.
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It was a kidnapping situation and it wasn't our fault--
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- Where's Mom and Dad? - They're not home yet.
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Oh, my God, this is fate.
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We said "knock, knock."
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And this is the universe saying, "Who's there?"
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If they ask, I was here all night.
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Oh, boys.
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Your mom has a really crazy idea she wants to run by you.
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Probably too crazy.
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Lois?
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We are going to have ice cream on the good China.
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- Wow, that's crazy. - Oh, cool.
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- Are you sure? - I told you.