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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S03E13 — Reese Drives

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 3, Episode 13 — Reese Drives

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Reese Drives
Air date: February 10, 2002
Director: Jeff Melman
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
Highway horror: Reese gets a learner's permit, which he promptly proceeds to abuse by commandeering a driving-school vehicle.
Source: TMDB
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Dewey!
dewey
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Come on out, honey!
honey
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How did he find out he was going to the doctor?
doctor
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Well, I certainly didn't say anything.
certainly
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Dewey!
dewey
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Son?
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Dewey!
dewey
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Dewey, come on out!
dewey
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We love you, son.
love
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Dewey, come on, we're gonna be late.
deweylate
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Oh, poor little thing.
poor
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Go start the car.
start
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
questionrepeat
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♪ Life is unfair ♪
lifeunfair
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Awesome dinner, Mom.
awesomedinner
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The microwave.
microwave
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But for the perfect amount of time.
amountperfect
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Well, I'd better clear my plate and start on my homework.
clearhomeworkplatestart
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Can I get anyone a nice cup of peppermint tea?
peppermint
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Ow!
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Didn't think so.
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I wouldn't miss it, son.
miss
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It's like giving a shark a sub-machine gun.
givingmachineshark
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I'll get it.
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- Hello? - Hey, Dad.
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but basically just unlucky?
unlucky
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What?
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let's just say there have been some damages.
damages
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That's why you're calling?
calling
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Francis, no, you can't do that anymore.
anymorefrancis
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You're on your own,
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you've emancipated yourself, remember?
emancipatedremember
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You can't run to your parents for money at the first sign of trouble anymore.
anymoremoneyparentssigntrouble
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I'm not running to my parents.
parentsrunning
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I'm calling as one adult to another for an adult...
adultanothercalling
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- loan. - No.
loan
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No. You've made whatever mess you've made and you take care of it.
caremess
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I have been taking care of it.
care
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I already got Big Red to cut me the lumber in exchange for fur-lined boots.
bootsexchangelined
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I got Pete to make the boots,
bootspete
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but only because I promised him a new set of teeth.
promisedteeth
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And as you probably know, teeth don't come cheap!
cheapteeth
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Now, that's where you--
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Hey, Dave.
dave
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You know that digital camera Bernie got that you like so much?
berniecameradigital
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Yeah?
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Well, what would you pay if I could get it for you?
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You can get Bernie to give up his camera?
berniecamera
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Absolutely.
absolutely
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I've been waiting for this my whole life.
lifewaitingwholewhole-life
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Once I'm driving, everything changes.
changesdriving
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All I have to do is stay out of trouble for the next 16 hours
hourstrouble
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and I'm home free.
freehome
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How's that?
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A little tighter on this side.
sidetighter
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Okay, you're all set.
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Now, remember, do not untie me until the morning.
morningrememberuntie
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- No matter what I say or how much I beg. - Got it.
matter
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- Uh-oh. I gotta go to the bathroom. - Too bad.
bathroom
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Just testing. Thanks, buddy.
buddytestingthanksthanks-buddy
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It's weird.
weird
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Reese suddenly doesn't seem as irritating as he used to.
irritatingreesesuddenlyused
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It's amazing what a driver's license can do for a relationship.
amazingdriversdrivers-licenselicenserelationship
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Hi.
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Dewey, I am warning you, if you even touch me,
deweytouchwarning
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you can forget about me ever driving you anywhere
drivingforget
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for the rest of your life.
liferest
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I have nowhere to go.
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- Hello? - Hi, Lois, it's Craig.
craiglois
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Craig, I can't talk right now, I'm on the other line.
craigline
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It's okay, this will only take a second.
second
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I have something to say to you that I only feel comfortable saying
comfortable
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because we're like family.
family
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Your son Malcolm is a filthy vandal.
filthymalcolm
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What?
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He threw eggs all over the front of my new apartment.
apartmenteggsfrontthrew
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Him and his wheelchair friend.
friendwheelchair
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They wanted some free Lucky Aide candy,
aidecandyfreeluckylucky-aidewanted
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I said no, next thing I know, it's like D-Day here.
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Malcolm, get in here!
malcolm
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You'd think I'd be the last person he'd target
persontarget
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after I forgave your family for burning my old place down,
burningfamilyforgaveplace
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which I'd like to remind you again,
remind
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I hardly ever mention.
hardlymention
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Craig, I am so sorry.
craig
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Well, boys will be boys.
boys
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All I want is for him to come over and clean it up.
clean
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And if he could stop and get me a non-fat latte along the way,
alonglatte
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that would be great.
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Don't worry, he's on his way.
worry
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What is the matter with you? Throwing eggs at Craig's front door!
craigsdooreggsfrontfront-doormatterthrowing
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What are you talking about?
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I did it, I did it!
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- You passed the test? - I aced it.
acedpassedtest
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You got five wrong.
five
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Yeah, but I got 11 right.
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That's good enough for my learner's permit.
permit
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Man, if the DMV was running my school, I'd be, like, a C student.
runningschoolstudent
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Well, congratulations.
congratulations
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Dad, you sent the check to the driving school?
checkdrivingschoolsent
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Yes, Reese.
reese
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You sure you signed it? It's not gonna bounce?
bouncesigned
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Everything is fine, Reese.
reese
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Just go there straight after school tomorrow.
schoolschool-tomorrowstraighttomorrow
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You guys are the best.
best
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I promise when you're old and crazy, I'll drive to the home and visit you.
crazydrivehomepromisevisit
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Maybe we can drive around the park.
drivepark
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Would you like that?
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I can't wait.
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Why are you still here? Get over to Craig's, start cleaning.
cleaningcraigsstart
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Mom I didn't throw anything at his front door, I swear!
doorfrontfront-doorswearthrow
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Malcolm, why would a grown man lie about something like that?
grownmalcolm
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I lied because I needed your help.
liedneeded
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I finally got my insurance settlement.
finallyinsurancesettlement
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Unidirectional subwoofer for surround sound,
soundsurroundsurround-sound
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progressive-scan DVD player.
playerprogressivescan
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Plays both AIFF and MP3 formats on either CDs or CD-Rs.
plays
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e25a3167-417a-444b-a8f9-ad763a1aefbe.gif
I mean, the guys at the store
store
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0b64dd9b-9d7a-42d8-9d76-6b8774656d8c.gif
couldn't find the graphic equalizers with two hands and a flashlight.
flashlightgraphichands
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You dragged me over here to hook up your stereo?
draggedhookstereo
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Can't you get one of your friends to help you do this?
friends
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And tick off the other friends I didn't ask?
friendstick
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Malcolm, this goes far beyond just a stereo.
beyondmalcolmstereo
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This is going to be the greatest entertainment center ever.
centerentertainmentgreatest
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Have you ever wanted to be the best?
bestwanted
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Not just good,
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I don't mean great,
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I mean the absolute best?
absolutebest
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I don't know.
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Well, I have.
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Ever since I was a kid watching Land of the Lost
landlostwatching
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on my tiny black-and-white six-inch,
blackinchtinywhite
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I knew there'd be a day,
thered
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a day when I could create my own high-def universe.
createuniverse
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A magical realm where fantasy and technology intersect
fantasymagicalrealmtechnology
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to my every whim because I'm the king.
kingwhim
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So, your lifelong dream was to become the world's best TV watcher?
becomebestdreamlifelongworldsworlds-best
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Yeah.
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I'm in.
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I still can't believe it.
believe
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For the first time ever, I'm gonna be...
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behind the wheel.
behindwheel
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He keeps doing that.
keeps
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I have to go to Craig's today after school.
craigsschooltoday
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- You still have more to clean up? - Yeah.
clean
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I made a hell of a mess.
mess
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a4234a13-af34-43a8-a29f-fddcf8cb51db.gif
Hey, Dewey, I want you to know there's no hard feelings
deweyfeelingshardhard-feelings
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about the last couple weeks.
couplecouple-weeksweeks
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Because you're gonna suffer every day for the next ten years.
sufferyears
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Yeah, they're brand-new.
brand
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ee38e16d-95e1-49ce-8ed4-1a3c6709dd26.gif
College boy got them for me.
college
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a555bbcb-81cb-4d1e-8a9a-b3e7ab88c08d.gif
- Warm, are they? - Oh, yeah.
warm
↓
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This is awesome, Willie's grandson is really gonna love this.
awesomegrandsonlovewillies
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Just remember, you gotta get that sled team
remembersledteam
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out to Camp Three for me before dark.
campdarkthree
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Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
absolutely
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You've driven dogs before? Because it gets tricky.
dogsdriventricky
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What do I look like?
↓
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Stop worrying.
worrying
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Hey, Neil.
neil
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e5e1265e-5743-489f-a76d-c93d36b5880e.gif
- You know how to drive a dog team, right? - Yeah.
driveteam
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b9b6c15a-4847-46d2-b39a-6d123f647836.gif
You still have a crush on Joe's sister?
crushjoessister
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Yeah, but Joe won't let me date her just because I'm Irish.
dateirish
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And I got a bounty on my head.
bountyhead
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Let me see what I can do.
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Sorry.
↓
48dca7cc-4e60-402c-b841-ce684507502f.gif
Sorry.
↓
297e6435-db17-4050-8dfc-65cbb6b240d7.gif
Sorry.
↓
fc2d4b54-2879-4a3e-a145-550ff50a5dd8.gif
Ooh! Sorry. I'm sorry.
↓
f36a00a9-0748-4bb4-8fec-9148b681a630.gif
- Ooh. Sorry. - Damn it!
↓
57f4541f-f8e0-480c-8e5a-8a03e367431e.gif
I thought I paid this gas bill already.
billpaid
↓
f351d1d1-a96e-4f02-b482-ee3357548a9d.gif
You're doing great. Turn right up here. I think you're ready for street driving.
drivingreadystreet
↓
7ae82265-24ef-4910-a740-99155d4971b9.gif
What?
↓
d8419895-a939-46d8-99c2-437a53c8a150.gif
Jackie's been driving for half an hour. Her turn is over.
drivinghalfhour
↓
e965cbbd-42e2-43a9-9d9f-493bf8baee30.gif
It's only been ten minutes, Reese.
minutesreese
↓
e368e2fb-df42-4e5a-baab-097aabb4d859.gif
No, it hasn't, I've been timing you.
timing
↓
69d6bdbe-5c63-4b9f-93d6-3c46e4698ea9.gif
You've been driving exactly 27 minutes. You're gonna start using up my turn.
drivingminutesstartusing
↓
dd052fa5-7bd1-474b-8d50-057a910b2f0a.gif
When did you learn to tell time?
learn
↓
7863ab5a-07fb-4865-81f8-c6a838a06a6b.gif
Faced. It's digital.
digitalfaced
↓
cca5ca47-dbc7-4ed8-9933-91899880aab5.gif
Oh, I can't believe I have to be in the same car as a lowlife like you!
believe
↓
42a1a7e4-e886-4fe7-bca7-9fb790176576.gif
Oh, I'm a lowlife?
↓
b08defaa-43fb-448a-9fde-ce109ef42834.gif
You spend every day at lunch sucking on a straw that's been under my armpit!
lunchspendstrawsucking
↓
ba471fa8-6486-4084-bfd5-c568b6a3c1f9.gif
You pig!
↓
a75bfc42-6e77-4f70-a546-e1a7f70a5e9d.gif
That's it, I've had it.
↓
53231feb-4749-4b2b-92f2-9a88340577d8.gif
I don't even know what text messaging is.
messagingtext
↓
29335035-879f-401a-a972-ab56f8d0f8f7.gif
How can they charge me 15 bucks a month for it?
buckschargemonth
↓
00517e20-c7df-44a0-8a57-99c4b47ea058.gif
Malcolm!
malcolm
↓
09b1f534-7d1b-4275-b61f-06addae272e3.gif
You can't connect those cables,
cablesconnect
↓
c0a21a55-05fe-41f2-914b-fa4022d5015f.gif
their impedance values aren't equal.
equalvalues
↓
5bce8e49-a44f-45f8-b3a3-7922a1f88ef4.gif
You'll get a reflected transmission.
transmission
↓
728f433a-008f-4715-bae0-62dc278c3d25.gif
That's what the high-speed scan modulation is for.
scanspeed
↓
0c58cd0a-ff2d-4a7e-961d-4bc42e67d586.gif
Trust me, 480P is more than enough to take care of it.
caretrust
↓
3113c921-48f1-4eff-a1c9-91798ff10ac5.gif
Then I can't use the analogue pre-amp to play my SACDs.
↓
ee6b3fc1-ad5c-4566-be36-621c7d5dc5fb.gif
You're tired, you're not thinking right.
thinkingtired
↓
d777b315-25c4-43ee-abaf-63722dc4686f.gif
I'm using single-ended interconnects for the front left-right speakers.
endedfrontleftsinglespeakersusing
↓
157510cd-74ab-40c7-ad6d-30855706fe1b.gif
Are you mad? You can't do that.
↓
b9562744-d00f-464f-ab9d-ab5b198ef7e4.gif
Just watch me.
watch
↓
57ad4699-ad4d-4bb8-9a3a-c79f1c9a81cc.gif
I know it sounds weird,
soundsweird
↓
50dd6402-a5ee-484c-bd86-9731fa1ceb3d.gif
but this is the most fulfilling conversation I've had in weeks.
conversationweeks
↓
009558b0-af87-4a84-acbd-4ed8e6073898.gif
Isn't there some signal to tell these cars to get out of the way?
carssignal
↓
1bf9adc6-4839-469d-9f4c-3bad3caaebf4.gif
Does anyone see a thingy of one-cent stamps by their feet?
centfeetstampsthingy
↓
16df8c8e-4e0b-45d2-8982-13d62b2c96bb.gif
It's been 45 minutes. I'm not gonna get my turn!
minutes
↓
02400657-fd9d-44f1-8a50-1a4208f113d9.gif
Okay, pull over.
pull
↓
2a372fbf-fb71-4555-ab9c-4059547b7cf8.gif
Finally.
finally
↓
bca21a7a-c8a1-43c0-90e6-b3a2babfcec1.gif
I just need to go to the post office.
officepost
↓
6281ff63-0c39-4e00-88af-d2caa98e7e95.gif
Oh, God, look at that line.
line
↓
d99907d8-5677-450b-b22c-a9732c7c3193.gif
What are you doing? It's my turn.
↓
39974942-f7a8-40b2-9065-8eab54dd4aad.gif
Oh, sorry, Reese doesn't look like we'll have enough time.
reese
↓
00d1723d-78b8-442f-adde-3804600a244d.gif
But you got very valuable...
valuable
↓
0160cbbf-d369-41d0-8a04-c3100f2bc4e6.gif
watching experience.
experiencewatching
↓
e1bfe2a6-3b63-4521-8c5b-4fa870056886.gif
We'll get to you next week.
week
↓
23bdf649-d34c-48fa-8704-c9e440e7f17b.gif
Slide over.
slide
↓
8d11562e-0d04-4053-a530-c34b9d1fabe7.gif
No way!
↓
cc81cc39-a13a-43a3-b172-119e26eb8c4d.gif
Ugh!
↓
2db0f25b-2718-4892-9fe7-2ef84091593e.gif
I at least get to drive back to the stupid school.
driveleastschoolstupid
↓
024f0803-2374-42cd-922e-ed95ab1b8c3a.gif
I'm not going home without at least touching the steering wheel.
homeleaststeeringsteering-wheeltouchingwheel
↓
f4825207-2287-481e-89e2-05ef06697a6e.gif
What was that?
↓
ab061153-598e-4640-aa77-a36bc1fd1624.gif
You crashed.
crashed
↓
96759513-9201-4deb-8ef7-c2c2148ed866.gif
No, I didn't.
↓
1f9f9827-de36-476c-8133-dcd8e70ecd59.gif
The car's not even in drive.
carsdrive
↓
4d347997-74dc-46fa-b720-60639369bab6.gif
Yeah, well, you're behind the wheel, what are you gonna do now, hotshot?
behindhotshotwheel
↓
d703b36e-699b-4d3f-894a-21054f84ad29.gif
I'm so sorry, I--
↓
51b5f46e-c03c-4591-b2ab-556a86cbafeb.gif
So, let's see, we've got grand theft auto,
autograndtheft
↓
eb262688-6662-4e7c-a6a1-64ddefd9b967.gif
malicious crashing and what else?
crashingmalicious
↓
02479c38-b101-42dd-9b86-aa0749a1055e.gif
Oh, yeah, kidnapping me.
kidnapping
↓
b6741565-48aa-4b94-b85c-cd215e63a18b.gif
I always knew you'd go to prison, I just figured it'd be after prom.
figuredprisonprom
↓
28c1e0cb-6693-4624-a6f7-6d2fc40bd2e6.gif
Will you shut up and let me think about this?
↓
c5cd85f7-2365-4273-b65b-d9dad8733ab1.gif
Do you realize you're driving 20 miles an hour on a freeway?
drivingfreewayhourmilesrealize
↓
d17b5848-f890-4345-a280-4ce07a948f3d.gif
Hey, I am not getting a speeding ticket on top of everything else.
speedingticket
↓
43bcb3cb-be93-48ee-aab8-f39c9768a56b.gif
Now, will you just leave me alone and let me figure this out?
alonefigure
↓
4f39c579-3f06-418c-baeb-307b62eae8a3.gif
Ha!
↓
9ae7cd34-a368-40d8-afb6-3d73786191fc.gif
Okay, don't panic.
panic
↓
83d184a3-0efa-49d2-a8bc-36f963a43f2a.gif
It's just a cop, that's nothing.
↓
db3912e8-f86f-4d27-a076-07c6743d63b0.gif
You can handle one stupid cop.
handlestupid
↓
5f4a5df5-a196-4646-bbb3-31a5cab4a020.gif
Oh, man.
↓
9c7d0aff-de20-44ce-9005-b1a801505c2d.gif
What are you doing? Aren't you pulling over?
pulling
↓
a347bed7-39fb-4fb4-a2aa-26a1d98740f3.gif
I don't know. I think I'm still going.
↓
7dfe1c15-6ffe-4285-a701-1a84e038b49a.gif
Reese, if you're being chased by the cops
chasedcopsreese
↓
ac5789af-af60-4f0b-8514-9a5fa617973f.gif
and they say pull over, you have to do it.
pull
↓
b81d1f60-612f-4dad-ac85-01bb403d76e8.gif
- That's a law. - Yeah, well, even so.
↓
08bcf873-5a50-4de1-9e1a-3e843915523b.gif
You can't--
↓
daff90c2-0db4-45a9-be42-67f697f53a8a.gif
You know, that's a really good plan, Reese.
planreese
↓
725b11b2-3af0-41e9-8c3e-5f5830d81b7a.gif
I just see one little problem with it.
problem
↓
cd69cfc8-df38-4e10-b4b4-4c1886ed9e83.gif
This is a Driver's Ed car!
drivers
↓
82fdc348-9bfd-450f-8e67-325844de0899.gif
Those cheap sons of--
cheapsons
↓
3d772dd0-eae5-4c5f-a4e5-4a3b06dabc1c.gif
There is no sense in screaming to me about Francis!
francisscreamingsense
↓
93c05f82-d81e-49e2-a597-819ac25f95a3.gif
I haven't seen him!
seen
↓
04ad7276-d887-4d54-b5ca-26ded6b4f422.gif
I spent five hours digging post holes because he promised me a satellite dish.
diggingdishfivefive-hoursholeshourspostpromisedsatellitespent
↓
13512609-4647-41bd-b4b0-c77d2fec0780.gif
He promised me a satellite dish.
dishpromisedsatellite
↓
c07e5d97-e973-49db-80db-4d4148c1aeab.gif
And where the hell's my George Foreman grill?
foremangeorgegrillhells
↓
1da404a3-adad-4abc-bdb4-7541dc641cc6.gif
I'm just as mad as the rest of you.
rest
↓
413d9669-5be9-4c1e-b542-564191a70233.gif
I'm pretty sure these teeth came off a dead guy.
deadteeth
↓
94a3e1c7-842d-4808-9132-0c3a1e532717.gif
Tastes like a Canadian.
canadiantastes
↓
d2d6f35e-3f43-4eb8-9ee3-7e5eaf0342d2.gif
Well, he's through taking advantage of me, I can tell you that.
advantage
↓
13703a76-0541-4262-830e-96b57eca2ee3.gif
Well, Pierre,
↓
20ddf0b2-b7ae-4e13-8eaf-9d8e82959d37.gif
your identical American cousin is in a heap of trouble.
americancousinheapidenticaltrouble
↓
831c8a08-aa42-42b1-a681-124b219109ac.gif
Another half turn. Easy, easy, don't strip it!
anotheranother-halfeasyeasy-easyhalfstrip
↓
01ba6b14-65d7-4b66-a727-c2d4e7c75c41.gif
- Got it! - Beautiful!
↓
f0b86a4e-b853-4cd1-a6e0-86460723776b.gif
Now all we have to do is adjust it and we're done.
adjust
↓
9625d735-8664-49f1-b152-7549f60fc9fe.gif
Congratulations.
congratulations
↓
dd954c29-9a92-4865-9d64-7fecfdff3fd9.gif
It was pretty hairy there. Especially with the hub connectors.
especiallyhairy
↓
4b213eaf-544f-46e5-9f6a-3b3461929cd0.gif
Stripping that quarter inch off the copper leads was inspired.
copperinchinspiredleadsquarterstripping
↓
3185b0e3-7df2-4794-8e3b-923bb28c1305.gif
I hardly even remember it. I was running on pure adrenaline.
adrenalinehardlypurerememberrunning
↓
f2a76195-bcec-4f52-bf71-9999a01f59da.gif
You know, Craig, I gotta tell you, this was a lot of fun.
craigfun
↓
4c2daada-450a-4cb8-9da6-47913910decb.gif
I actually enjoyed spending time with you.
enjoyedspending
↓
e6f5dd2c-b320-4eb4-8722-4e87ff7dfb94.gif
- You didn't have to lie to get me here. - Yes, I did.
↓
6c2cedbc-2402-4b51-9f63-62fb74045dc1.gif
Yeah, okay, but you wouldn't now.
↓
6a22d1da-1aef-4c3f-acec-48c60465e1d7.gif
I guess what I'm trying to say is,
↓
cc15ea93-b4e5-4393-8960-54a50ca0c75d.gif
you know,
↓
a49ee56a-f58c-4266-add6-63e269bd4c2d.gif
I'm sorry for all the times we made you miserable.
miserabletimes
↓
e57125fd-b74f-43d0-8996-ac755d41471a.gif
It's okay.
↓
9e5b96a8-919e-4ee5-98d4-6f15ba703651.gif
You're a good guy. I like you.
↓
e300c68d-2753-4359-8d68-a8aea28ce15a.gif
Run down and check the signal, will you?
checksignal
↓
ad2e41d6-6daa-4901-b211-abf46acd9955.gif
Okay.
↓
2c8e2d39-319d-477a-a26b-99feb1a9ebfa.gif
And try not to screw it up.
screw
↓
1271cd56-984f-4bd2-ba4d-9902332fcc46.gif
Buddy.
buddy
↓
af7bedd7-599a-411e-aee5-5a3d1d593ea8.gif
Try moving the dish a little to the right!
dishmoving
↓
497002fd-c903-4c16-a7e0-067936f82ad2.gif
Up a little more!
↓
73dbde15-b981-47d1-bd40-45e01cff5bba.gif
A low-speed chase involving a teenager, a Driver's Ed car
chasedriversinvolvingspeedteenager
↓
2c8a2f58-c876-4cd6-96a3-20608f1bbdef.gif
and what appears to be a hostage.
appearshostage
↓
bdc8d917-5b29-4b20-a29b-397a6642f3e0.gif
It all happened so fast. They just took off.
fasthappened
↓
5c8f5039-2300-4686-baae-e7303016eec1.gif
With my checkbook and all my financial papers in the car.
financialpapers
↓
3949c318-26f7-4c4c-94ca-58d83fe32b83.gif
That's not an excuse,
excuse
↓
668e9290-cfde-4398-9df6-02741d5ecdf6.gif
I just hope that B of A understands the situation.
hopesituationunderstands
↓
bbd4bdd9-484f-4320-b44f-01ee0c77320e.gif
Although the hostage seems to be unharmed,
hostageseems
↓
58521ba9-b379-41eb-9ba2-a976386add12.gif
it's a matter of time before police decide to end it one way or the other.
decidematterpolice
↓
c51907f3-91f8-4737-b75a-eb2d03520081.gif
Oh, no.
↓
ff356b4b-4e9b-45ff-bc5a-4376df420e1a.gif
- We're on the line... - Now they're never gonna let me drive!
driveline
↓
22e32f98-4d49-4591-8e03-eb6e4806d44b.gif
How's it looking?
looking
↓
76b5a248-d452-4ae1-a976-289a4df7fa8b.gif
Malcolm?
malcolm
↓
f1956dbd-ed6d-45dd-b6b0-12f87a107188.gif
Malcolm!
malcolm
↓
b2a91a89-4714-4932-991c-1569b6cbc34b.gif
I can't hear you!
↓
cf5fc8aa-ef37-4453-99e6-f50247535196.gif
You're not watching without me, are you?
watching
↓
914bbb28-8e50-4aea-9388-2bf7e7183b10.gif
Malcolm!
malcolm
↓
2119977a-6749-457c-9d40-eab9583dc965.gif
Malcolm!
malcolm
↓
f6683d50-4993-4caf-be7a-8552fe946e47.gif
Signals his turn some 200 feet...
feetsignals
↓
8a54e321-7d99-4d08-915e-6fbe1669ea31.gif
Just let me talk to him and I can end this in five minutes!
fivefive-minutesminutes
↓
4aa36dca-7f9f-4000-bf14-83be4049d83b.gif
I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't think that's a good idea.
ideamaam
↓
f90e1996-7d37-4011-910f-7935652f5ab4.gif
We have psychologists to handle kids in these situations.
handlekidssituations
↓
275e5a4a-e180-463d-932d-f00ae1ec5d68.gif
We know how they think.
↓
84c534d5-ac41-4873-8c4c-f49c13398912.gif
Think? My son doesn't think!
↓
76ae242c-949b-4b8a-8184-516ee27c354c.gif
He's just driving around in circles.
circlesdriving
↓
be877d32-6bfe-4bbb-9e48-48b0e9181905.gif
He's made three laps around the city already!
citylapsthree
↓
fb3a21a9-18ae-4fd3-8a05-eb0c6db3e0fb.gif
There's our dry-cleaner again.
cleaner
↓
dc69f6be-716f-4d70-b39a-5e1ba0bce8f7.gif
Here's another picture of my brother you can show on TV.
anotherbrotherpicture
↓
544a3c10-bf77-4a5a-bd93-c1793e533a16.gif
Just get him on the phone and let me handle this.
handlephone
↓
c63348c2-b28c-4f36-849e-a90c843f95c9.gif
I'm the only one who knows how.
knows
↓
56fee110-eb88-42a0-aa19-e6ca84a28d0d.gif
Trust me, we have this under control.
controltrust
↓
e3bb5899-d398-4d99-b2a4-27f2501b6895.gif
Don't think I don't know what's gonna happen!
happen
↓
e205be64-abd5-4a9d-9c77-87c679521dc9.gif
You're gonna do your standard police thing
policestandard
↓
4e6ae93c-c80f-4428-9416-4ac12e439c11.gif
and my son is gonna get killed in a hail of gunfire!
gunfirehailkilled
↓
33487824-bbaa-473d-85df-9b5885adeda6.gif
Ma'am, that almost never happens.
happensmaam
↓
f1d8967d-a307-43da-a3aa-143f9a0fdb42.gif
Just get him on the phone!
phone
↓
1fda9415-cacd-4c24-b4fd-06b2dedeb18b.gif
And you tell him, if he ever wants to see daylight again,
daylightwants
↓
2a634393-cd39-4800-8f59-fcaaeabf72d8.gif
he'll pull over this instant!
instantpull
↓
a4d5ec7f-cf2f-426f-b78d-da47372d554d.gif
Your mother wants you to know that she loves you and...
lovesmotherwants
↓
28f5bd11-6397-4b59-8572-39681868585f.gif
He has ten seconds to pull over that damn car or I will...
pullseconds
↓
1233868e-29f4-489f-afc2-27dd54df34c9.gif
...give you lots of hugs and kisses.
hugskisseslots
↓
a5caddcb-3980-45e5-a4fa-1843d0d8e410.gif
You heard your mom, you're not in trouble.
heardtrouble
↓
c60a9a13-e292-4dff-ae75-a1f47f6f4cf6.gif
Can you pull over now?
pull
↓
e595a3b5-30ac-4e06-aeed-2dc2fdde4999.gif
That's not my mom.
↓
d1e71888-c258-4a13-83aa-dcfcf3254304.gif
Please, dear God,
dear
↓
095875b9-8791-44c9-85b2-2887b002178f.gif
I know I haven't been a saint, but I swear, if you--
saintswear
↓
32a0c0c7-e663-4c62-a63b-1ba840896a75.gif
No, Daddy, this is not my fault,
daddyfault
↓
6a1a2e1f-9e6b-4818-8031-2e3987255ce5.gif
I'm just a passenger.
passenger
↓
2533c655-3822-4605-9af0-971e11155c8d.gif
How is this making you look like a chump?
chump
↓
d1275601-040c-45c0-b683-55e64b445613.gif
I'm the one--
↓
444c43a9-8214-45b1-bed1-870b240fa697.gif
Hold on.
↓
6633fd49-e53f-46a9-9a94-379b35e35b7c.gif
Hello? No.
↓
dad66931-b305-41ec-92f1-d5b019e1307a.gif
No, I'm on the other line.
line
↓
5289d10d-8546-45a9-ac12-62965746f843.gif
If you wanna talk to him so bad, use the bullhorn thingy.
thingy
↓
2aba9b5b-f4f1-4f83-81fd-7332bbaa96a7.gif
Hi, I'm back.
↓
4a524b75-fdf4-49dc-b634-3b2bb1b7d45b.gif
No, I was not talking to Mom, it was the--
↓
f49001cc-291f-4a9b-a81d-b0da56a9e8bd.gif
Daddy, I don't care who she's--
caredaddy
↓
4cc48b7f-e0c1-45dd-8f10-ee1ff0e4390e.gif
No, I will not tell her.
↓
c333f8ed-e8b8-49eb-b081-f43f529e448d.gif
You have to stop putting me in--
putting
↓
5ce2a8e0-c8ce-4e05-be25-011b304bf7ab.gif
Go ahead, you know what? Go ahead. Cancel the card. Cancel all my cards.
aheadcancelcardcardsgo-ahead
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I'm gonna be in this car for the rest of my life, anyway.
liferest
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a68c2504-91a1-4137-a8f5-539a0d74941c.gif
- Okay, I've got an idea. - What?
idea
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8e19a485-3e37-46de-bbed-ff61e9173b56.gif
There's a railroad crossing about a mile ahead.
aheadcrossingmile
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87591b69-24e0-40ac-b10b-d8894292934b.gif
If we jump out a split second before the train squashes the car,
jumpsecondsplittrain
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0f2301df-b320-43a4-9b32-433679d691a2.gif
we can start new lives as circus people.
circuslivesstart
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Reese, come on.
reese
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4439f36c-6319-4a48-9a1c-76d48e63a262.gif
This is getting scary.
scary
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e9635591-58ba-41e6-88bd-a6ea7cc2b5ae.gif
What are you gonna do?
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9c8c34a4-4d55-4b09-bf64-038902024f80.gif
This is your last warning.
warning
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8eaca7ee-74f4-475a-b19f-68da7426fd3a.gif
Pull over or you will be forced from the road.
forcedpullroad
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I have to tell you something.
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f00efc74-06c0-402d-a194-1615d7d556de.gif
Just because I hate you doesn't mean I'm not sorry.
hate
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What?
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I didn't mean to get you into this.
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It's just that I'm not--
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93322a86-75ed-4188-8962-58d8f899d810.gif
You know, I'm not very smart.
smart
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So, when I get in trouble, I panic, then I do things that make it worse.
panictroubleworse
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I'm really sorry.
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89bee41b-982b-437b-ab8f-ce4c1c3083d8.gif
And your dad is a tool.
tool
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Hey, I was just kidding about the kidnapping thing.
kiddingkidnapping
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ab6082e4-2344-42a7-9e18-80b23d9620b3.gif
I mean, you have enough to worry about without me being a jerk about it, right?
jerkworry
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c8b87358-d1e7-4afe-892b-2dd6c48e68eb.gif
Wait a second.
second
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be2b10e4-1e74-44ae-a018-84319528f886.gif
Jackie, give me your phone.
jackiephone
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I have a brother who's a total genius.
brothergeniustotal
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He'll know what to do.
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22c27e77-b55a-4587-813d-8fc16d2127fc.gif
How many police cars are chasing you?
carschasingpolice
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I don't know, eight, maybe nine.
eightnine
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What are we gonna do? There's no way out of this!
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Don't give up.
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368c0b45-81a5-4af7-8df6-996989597c45.gif
Sometimes things look their darkest right before the sun breaks through.
breaksdarkestsometimes
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And sometimes you just have to realize that the game is over
gamerealizesometimes
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and that you've lost.
lost
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854ba399-d710-4262-b5ca-7e0f17095904.gif
The--
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The only left thing to do is to stop running,
leftrunning
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afc39be7-8ec0-4987-a4c3-a28932494377.gif
stand up and face the consequences like a man.
consequencesfacestand
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And--
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And even if the outcome is gonna be more horrible
horribleoutcome
↓
fa939ae3-88e0-416f-b520-b7c092199864.gif
than you could've possibly imagined,
couldveimaginedpossibly
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a56ec385-5a1d-4f48-b19a-c9539728e55b.gif
you can hold your head up high, show some class
classhead
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and end it with dignity.
dignity
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436ef9ce-3a7c-41e9-a792-d3973af1b6f7.gif
Class?
class
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6a928be8-f211-4784-ba18-528dbc11a546.gif
For the love of God! Not the stump rooter!
lovestump
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No!
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Where is he going?
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a8f179c8-dde0-46d3-a364-4645fbc79050.gif
He's turning.
turning
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d2288668-bc3c-4669-806a-5b2443bc5cd3.gif
♪ The faster we're falling We're stopping and stalling ♪
fallingfasterstallingstopping
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53663aa9-76cf-4b47-9b8b-a84918b2ddb7.gif
♪ But still we're trying one more time ♪
↓
0f83ce66-2705-45bb-9dd4-ae7ed70113f9.gif
♪ Maybe we're just trying too hard ♪
hard
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e4e6d2eb-4af6-4dfe-a892-1d494855cece.gif
♪ When really it's closer Than it is too far ♪
closer
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ac8a89c3-3c00-4105-9f02-6c2ec90612f6.gif
Wow, nice.
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1dc954fe-cb1b-4edd-a57c-b18144f9782e.gif
It was.
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a615058d-8323-44d4-b35e-968d6b85da5c.gif
♪ 'Cause I'm in too deep ♪
deep
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♪ And I'm trying to keep Up above in my head ♪
head
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cd148ed9-552a-4f0c-ba9d-9eba779b4544.gif
♪ Instead of going under ♪
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01e83968-8f83-4dfc-b526-5b8d675de42c.gif
- Okay, that's impressive. - Look, he's pulling over.
impressivepulling
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e0e64749-a3d8-44a3-bf9f-fbef2e0d22a4.gif
- I think he's gonna parallel park. - No way.
parallelpark
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28bfd5d1-9a22-4688-917b-8016d14bce6b.gif
The spot is way too small.
spot
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2af2a1e9-8d9a-4932-9f0a-f48c3c7505c8.gif
He's going too fast. He hasn't given himself enough space!
fastgivenspace
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- He did it. - Now, just get out of the damn car.
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f5ea686f-edd2-4aba-9688-df3caf29bd19.gif
Please.
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Reese, that was amazing.
amazingreese
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Listen, when the kids at school ask you about this,
kidsschool
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tell them I got under your bra.
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3b8e7740-3cf3-4af9-bb35-269ead112178.gif
♪ 'Cause I'm in too deep ♪
deep
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82678502-3318-474c-ae27-42a40ecad0cf.gif
♪ And I'm trying to keep Up above in my head... ♪
head
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I'll call the lawyer and have him meet us there.
lawyermeet
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344cbd8d-ba14-4dda-a97b-98929dd8b281.gif
Give them a reason.
reason
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256a5f2d-7553-4d77-b728-fd6c84647787.gif
Give them a reason.
reason
↓
34ade34f-39e7-4625-9f02-b5ecf0718e3e.gif
The suspect appears to be resisting.
appearsresistingsuspect
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e52bde55-5ede-4b03-847b-30d3e0510289.gif
Oh, looks like they're taking out the pepper spray.
pepperpepper-sprayspray
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Why do we have to dress like this? It's his hearing.
dresshearing
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b3f9c6f7-9dda-4e13-b438-8e1f3f41e2f3.gif
I want the judge to see that Reese comes from a respectable family
comesfamilyjudgereeserespectable
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that loves him very much!
loves
↓
562e7223-295b-4264-a9f6-26f8e35164fa.gif
Why aren't they trying him as an adult?
adult
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Come on, we gotta go.
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I have to go to Craig's after.
craigs
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Jellybean's getting his cast off and he wants me to videotape it.
castjellybeansvideotapewants
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Craig's talking already? Good for him.
craigs
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a5438ef0-7639-4b87-b9be-7ba6d7d8bc11.gif
I was really creeped out by that one-blink-yes, two-blinks-no stuff.
blinkstuff
↓
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No, you got it the other way around, Hal.
↓
61e4d400-e45b-4d95-b211-88cb260e137b.gif
One blink means no.
blink
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c0421cfc-4f37-47ba-9ab6-35c3cd6c2878.gif
So, the soup was too hot.
soup