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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S02E05 — Casino

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 2, Episode 5 — Casino

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Casino
Air date: November 19, 2000
Director: Todd Holland
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
A family weekend vacation to a casino turns into an ordeal in the desert for Hal, Reese and Malcolm, who wander onto an artillery range. Francis sneaks home, but has no one to play with.
Source: TMDB
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What? Can't sleep?
sleep
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No, I have this terrible feeling we've forgotten something.
feelingforgotten
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Trash, locks, lights.
lightslockstrash
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Oh, well, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait till morning.
morningtill
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Oh, boy.
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All right, son. Son, I think you've learned your lesson.
learnedlesson
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Okay.
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Thanks, Dad.
thanks
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We gotta stop doing this.
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
questionrepeat
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♪ Life is unfair ♪
lifeunfair
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I didn't cancel the Sunday paper. Somebody's just gonna steal it anyway.
cancelpapersomebodysstealsunday
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Mom, Dewey's gonna puke.
deweyspuke
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Jeez, he's thrown up four times. You'd think he'd be empty by now.
emptyfourfour-timesjeezthrowntimes
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We're almost there. Just keep your head in the bucket.
buckethead
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Ten more minutes,
minutes
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and we'll get to spend a weekend on a real Indian reservation.
indianrealreservationspendweekend
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Why do they have casinos?
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I don't know. Let's just thank God they do.
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Too bad Francis couldn't be here.
francis
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Sorry, dude. They're in jail.
jail
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You're kidding. Why?
kidding
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They got caught trying to steal the inflatable panda from the car lot.
caughtinflatablepandasteal
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You can come over, right?
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I'm not sure. This weekend's my intervention.
interventionweekends
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Put me down as a "maybe."
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- I get the rollaway. - I wanna sleep with Malcolm.
malcolmsleep
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- Cool. I get the big bed for myself. - Not fair. You get the bed, you get Dewey.
cooldeweyfair
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That's not the way you called it.
called
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Now, boys, I'm sure we can find a fair way to figure this out.
boysfairfigure
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Reese, Malcolm, Dewey.
deweymalcolmreese
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I'm taking a bath. Anybody's gotta go, it's now or never.
anybodysbath
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- Can we go swimming, Mom? - Yeah, can we?
swimming
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I might take a look at the casino.
casinomight
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Hal, you got two days to gamble.
daysgamble
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Why don't you take the boys to the pool bef-- Hal?
boyspool
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They don't do anything. They're just there.
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Hold it there, boys.
boys
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No one under 16 allowed in the pool without an adult.
adultallowedpool
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- It's okay. They're with me. - Sorry. No parent, no pool.
parentpool
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That's ridiculous. We all know how to swim.
ridiculousswim
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Okay, fine. We'll go get my dad in the casino.
casino
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Sorry. No kids allowed in the casino either.
allowedcasinokids
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I'm not gonna gamble. I just wanna get my dad.
gamble
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Look, I don't make the rules.
rules
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You're doing this because you hate kids.
hatekids
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I'm really not. It's just a happy coincidence.
coincidencehappy
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Mom, they won't let us in the pool without an adult.
adultpool
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- What should we do? - I don't know. Use your imaginations.
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What? We're on vacation.
vacation
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There's dirt out there, isn't there? And rocks and lizards.
dirtlizardsrocks
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And I saw an old tire in the parking lot.
parkingtire
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There are kids in this world with a lot less to play with,
kidslessworld
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so I don't wanna hear another word about it!
anotheranother-wordword
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Yeah, it's great being home. So catch me up. What's going on?
catchhome
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- We had Salisbury steak for dinner. - With creamed spinach?
creameddinnersalisburysalisbury-steakspinachsteak
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- Uh-huh. - Great side dish.
dishside
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Now, I know they use celery salt and vinegar with that,
celerysaltvinegar
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but is that oregano I taste, or is that tarragon?
taste
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- Francis, I gotta go. - All right. Put Finley on.
francis
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You already talked to him twice. Come on, we're playing pool and I'm up.
playingpooltalkedtwice
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Okay, okay, play your stupid game.
gamestupidstupid-game
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I got some serious partying to do.
partyingserious
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Whoo!
whoo
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Yes! I win again!
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No fair. My goalie doesn't have any legs.
fairlegs
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- Hey, boys. - Hey, Dad. How'd you do?
boyshowd
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Well, blackjack's a complicated game. You have your ups and your downs.
complicateddownsgame
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So, who wants to buy me a Coke?
cokewants
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Too bad you quit, Dad. That shoe is full of tens.
fullquitshoetens
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- Huh? - Tens. Face cards.
cardsfacetens
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Okay, there's six decks.
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They already played out 18 nines, 14 eights, 12 sevens, but only two tens,
ninesplayedsevenstens
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a king of spades, and a queen of diamonds, which leaves...
diamondskingleavesqueenspades
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Well, you can do the math.
math
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No, but you can, and that's all that matters!
matters
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Oh, my little genius!
genius
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♪ If I were you I'd be taking it easy ♪
easy
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♪ Kick back and relax for a little while ♪
kickrelax
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♪ No matter what The world has in store for us ♪
matterstoreworld
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♪ You got the ring That better get off of us ♪
ring
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♪ Reach out for a comfortable chair ♪
chaircomfortablereach
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♪ Rejoice and throw your arms in the air ♪
armsrejoicethrow
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♪ 'Cause it's a good life So why y'all trippin'? ♪
lifetrippinyallyall-trippin
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♪ The good life slippin' away ♪
lifelife-slippinslippin
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♪ It's a good life So why y'all trippin'? ♪
lifetrippinyallyall-trippin
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♪ The good life slippin' away ♪
lifelife-slippinslippin
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♪ Yeah, it's a good life So why y'all--? ♪
lifeyall
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We're terribly sorry about this.
terribly
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e2504697-6916-433d-9ef9-a5668b8e6309.gif
This is a momentary lack of judgment on my part.
judgmentlackmomentarypart
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See, I realize now that using my son...
realizeusing
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Your underage son.
underage
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Yeah, my underage son...
underage
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to count cards was wrong.
cardscount
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I was just trying to look for an activity that the two of us can enjoy together.
activityenjoy
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It's a tough age.
tough
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d6b41f2e-d8a8-47f6-b3de-9273d4c2b844.gif
Yeah, and this was really helping my self-esteem.
esteemhelpingselfself-esteem
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You see, I'm not really good at sports, and this made me feel special.
specialsports
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My son and I cook.
cook
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That's a good thought. We'll have to try that.
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In the meantime, you're banned from the casino.
bannedcasinomeantime
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Banned? Oh, no, no. You don't wanna do that.
banned
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You see, that's just not gonna go over so well with my wife.
wife
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Believe me, you don't wanna see her angry.
angrybelieve
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I'm not banning her. Just you.
banning
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Okay, uh, look, let's just, uh...
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forget about the three grand that I won.
forgetgrandthree
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Just pretend it never happened?
happenedpretend
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Capisce?
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That's very generous of you.
generous
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You're still banned.
banned
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d582639c-89ac-4171-b058-44b4a45063b8.gif
What?
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Oh, all right, then. Just give me my money back.
money
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I'm sorry. What money?
money
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Hey, look, pal...
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Who said anything about money?
money
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Thank you.
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I am not impressed with this place.
impressedplace
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You call that a breakfast buffet? Not a tangelo to be found.
breakfastbuffetfound
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What are you talking about?
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Didn't you see that teepee made of sausage?
sausage
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It was incredible.
incredible
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08925154-31c7-475c-8408-d9b5e8e21442.gif
I am going to die. Why didn't anyone stop me?
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In our family, we take the phrase "all you can eat" as a personal challenge.
challengefamilypersonalphrase
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I know what'll cheer you up. Why don't we go gamble a little?
cheergamblewhatll
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Uh, now?
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Where does it say that just because you're at a casino you have to gamble?
casinogamble
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I mean, I'd rather spend some more time with my boys.
boysspend
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- Ah! Whoo! - Stop it, Dad. Please, stop.
whoo
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Hal, you made me sit for eight hours in that car,
eighteight-hourshours
↓
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listening to your foolproof system for winning at keno.
foolprooflisteningsystemwinning
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Now you don't wanna gamble?
gamble
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We are surrounded by the great outdoors, Lois.
loissurrounded
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I was thinking we might all go for a hike.
hikemightthinking
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- Okay, what have you done? - What do you mean?
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Why are you avoiding the casino?
avoidingcasino
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Well, sweetheart, I could tell you all about it
sweetheart
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and you might find it amusing,
amusingmight
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or you could think about the fact that I'm offering
factoffering
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to take the boys off your hands for the day.
boyshands
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Don't forget the sunblock.
forget
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All right, crew.
crew
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c5b42688-7b60-47db-9c50-82a3bacc4183.gif
I found a brochure in the lobby
brochurefoundlobby
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for the old El Diablo Ghost Town just a five-mile hike from here.
diablofiveghosthikemiletown
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656463c0-e485-4c5f-9c23-7804e039d855.gif
What's a ghost town?
ghosttown
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What do you think? It's a town full of dead people.
deadfulltown
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- Why can't we just go swimming? - Ah, we can swim at home.
homeswimswimming
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- Where? - Come on, it'll be fun.
funitll
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Look, they have a real working old-timey ice cream parlor.
creamparlorrealtimeyworking
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We're going.
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bf541f80-ef8b-4070-aa71-8c68989a2f1c.gif
What are you doing here?
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- Shouldn't you be in military school? - Shouldn't you not be in my father's robe?
fathersmilitarymilitary-schoolrobeschool
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That is neither here nor there.
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080be179-186d-4376-ba33-509b8184721f.gif
You are in big trouble, my friend.
friendtrouble
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abf32b23-5845-443b-9d0e-76683f06ff1b.gif
I'm in trouble?
trouble
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4f46e30a-96a6-4d06-a893-ae3fe40eb436.gif
Yes, big trouble.
trouble
↓
e16c8573-9284-44d1-b081-e394df4af07d.gif
I'm telling your mother.
mothertelling
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68508b6e-d09c-4a31-8587-27ef4820ded3.gif
No. I'm telling my mother!
mothertelling
↓
bfc2d073-613b-4a31-9d42-d04573328fde.gif
That's my toast.
toast
↓
ec8d0cd6-49ee-4eaf-b551-51873d13850e.gif
We'll split it.
split
↓
9e279436-1caf-4cc2-bd42-fa3b8230019c.gif
Huh, I don't get it.
↓
44dc0236-df7e-4711-8daa-52c0346583bf.gif
The map says the ghost town is only a half-inch away.
ghosthalfinchtown
↓
552cb606-fc41-41ba-ae63-0b9218712dc6.gif
Dad, we're lost.
lost
↓
c7bf599e-6085-4e77-9459-632a90fe01ca.gif
What sounds more idiotic,
idioticsounds
↓
bc2e98d8-e0a1-4f84-af72-4c4e2c0eeb0f.gif
"Let's go to the desert, kids," or "Good idea, Dad"?
desertideakids
↓
f1664b21-4882-4f0c-b2e9-efa946e34c71.gif
- Hi, Mom. - Dewey, what are you doing here?
dewey
↓
1e5ba922-f24c-444c-b452-16b23ea1be0c.gif
I thought you went for a hike with your father.
fatherhike
↓
f619f583-d77c-4f63-b2c6-81d02cabe33c.gif
I couldn't. I don't like ghosts. They eat little boys.
boysghosts
↓
7b93282d-b55d-431b-831e-b527107eb0bd.gif
That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as ghosts.
ghostsridiculous
↓
a47cd0e9-148b-4767-93a6-02954fd49e21.gif
Except for the one that'll get you if you go up on the roof.
exceptroofthatll
↓
530803fa-efa5-4f96-a4dd-1d29860558de.gif
Come on, you're too young to be in a casino.
casinoyoung
↓
816e7d0e-0443-489a-a250-adf2dda42022.gif
Come on, folks, take a spin at the wheel.
folksspinwheel
↓
0c01cdbd-8ff6-4496-b3b2-a32100f61ab3.gif
Oh, may as well try my free spin.
freespin
↓
cd611358-2ace-4ce1-a962-c4f2c7dc03dc.gif
That's right, lady. Nobody goes home a loser.
homeladylosernobody
↓
26b1d8ca-79e3-4de2-b51f-df91912d0a59.gif
Oh, God, I'm ruined!
ruined
↓
2dc969e4-ca49-4b4e-807b-9063f0a70499.gif
Okay, let's give it a whirl.
whirl
↓
979e99be-de9c-497a-8ef0-5ce2c57d853c.gif
Well, look at that.
↓
ccd8dd6e-e73d-4593-88ab-a2878a3ea89b.gif
You have won our Champagne Dreams Package for two.
champagnedreamspackage
↓
cdbf9f63-48e3-49a7-8cf2-4897d5169686.gif
An entire day of spa treatments, followed by dinner and dancing.
dancingdinnerentirefollowedtreatments
↓
b5041471-7409-4f9a-81b3-8d13cc8622d2.gif
Perfect. My husband's on a hike, and we're leaving tomorrow.
hikehusbandsleavingperfecttomorrow
↓
fbdb7b47-c430-41c9-ba53-d0c4de01692e.gif
- Relax, lady. It's good for six months. - Six months?
ladymonthsrelax
↓
8d974fb4-9fe1-4560-b49c-052708993def.gif
I had to work six months of overtime in a drugstore just to pay for this trip.
drugstoremonthsovertimetrip
↓
ff4ca28f-db7e-4f8e-b62c-b3283e7de96c.gif
Have you ever had to recommend hemorrhoid cream to a stranger?
creamrecommendstranger
↓
51c63d46-8afa-455b-b68f-5e8802e14c1e.gif
Do you want the prize or not?
prize
↓
5dce4403-a7c8-4929-8ece-20aa77ce9f72.gif
You carry a lot of tension in your shoulders.
carryshoulderstension
↓
a8cec85b-7ece-4eff-87f8-27f265c2bc9e.gif
Tell me about it.
↓
2f6c2c6c-7f87-4cbe-8f78-2041ba9a8ea8.gif
All right, listen. Come on. Let's all get our bearings here.
↓
e48da9b9-a934-423d-a27e-8e3294d637d4.gif
All right, here's the sun. What's it telling us?
telling
↓
778cf809-642b-4e6c-923b-647e2fd825fb.gif
That it's hot.
↓
ebdc1cc2-2333-4ab7-811e-70b4613bbbb2.gif
Hey, is that a fence over there?
fence
↓
0de2b0a5-c573-4c72-8752-c17e15dcc16e.gif
By God, you're right! See, I told you we weren't lost.
lost
↓
7b071484-b0b7-4e6e-b2a3-5a328b314877.gif
- Then where are we? - By the fence.
fence
↓
bd7ddfe4-ad4c-447d-a0c5-69f0e7a13c4b.gif
It's a sure sign of civilization. I say we go in. Come on. Come on.
civilizationsign
↓
625fe398-52a2-4a0c-91eb-2e36ba37d77f.gif
Wait a minute.
minute
↓
92e7c605-b65d-4f1e-8916-a51fe4e5ada0.gif
What if we're already in,
↓
01cbf111-43ca-44f1-ae73-8d180042eec9.gif
and instead of going in, we're actually going out?
↓
f93e349b-dedd-4863-9ad8-39d02e2d8cc7.gif
Son, sometimes the genius thing gets a little annoying.
annoyinggeniussometimes
↓
6def3678-ff73-4ff2-8ec4-e40d77b9afb5.gif
Come on. Let's just keep thinking positive thoughts.
positivethinkingthoughts
↓
b88dab22-5e0e-448d-8f13-89624bb73783.gif
Listen to that. That's a plane.
plane
↓
b16e7b74-29c5-45ff-9556-27d58a8382fc.gif
There. Help! Help! Here, we need help!
↓
4969d868-e841-4976-bb64-77c072e5dcac.gif
Oh, we're lost! Oh, for the love of God, help us!
lostlove
↓
5f42de3f-5c04-4015-b464-729dafd11b3b.gif
Well, shall we?
↓
22dfc1ed-48e5-44ad-9797-4ce2ee531e6a.gif
I can't believe this.
believe
↓
a9e88172-2bd7-49fa-976e-dd8e190c1a4d.gif
I buy my own bus ticket home, I have to spend the weekend with you.
homespendticketweekend
↓
081e3e9d-e5d8-46ca-9af8-8573fa2e7275.gif
I hear you. It's a shame you had to spend your own money.
moneyshamespend
↓
2be89753-0abe-4ec9-935b-bd6b791d4ec2.gif
I've discovered a way you can travel for free.
discoveredfreetravel
↓
6b98f0b7-3dca-4251-a0d6-7e8e763b77c0.gif
What, you hack into an airline's reservation system?
airlineshackreservationsystem
↓
91561afc-b7c9-48d9-aa17-d35d56a3ce3a.gif
No, that's illegal.
illegal
↓
4d498851-e41e-4f7d-967f-25f761a6cc7f.gif
I go into a chat room and pretend to be a really hot 18-year-old girl.
chatchat-roomgirlpretendroom
↓
18f2a62f-608f-4626-93de-7afb3381776d.gif
I'm Debbie. I'm blonde, naive, and I love to wear sundresses.
blondedebbielovenaivewear
↓
bcee9ac5-b8cd-46bd-a0b9-0d4459266f51.gif
Right now, I'm having problems at home. Dad's so mean.
dadshavinghaving-problemshomeproblems
↓
a05a006d-cffb-4b23-9d3b-97c4ad1f9865.gif
I'm going through all these changes,
changes
↓
b9680e72-7ed9-44e3-b858-39f5e144ab22.gif
all these strange new feelings, he doesn't understand--
feelingsstrange
↓
49756738-5713-4623-a1e9-b168a8ee5dae.gif
- Wait, Craig. The free travel? - Right.
craigfreetravel
↓
90758751-0b5d-4aa8-9351-dd3b9b8028ec.gif
Debbie goes into some chat room, gets real friendly with some lonely guy,
chatchat-roomdebbiefriendlylonelyrealreal-friendlyroom
↓
745ad061-f0de-40c8-81cd-0089580257ca.gif
before long, he's willing to pay for a visit.
visitwilling
↓
ce203751-5004-41bd-adf5-aae66bc95c80.gif
Right now, I'm sitting on a ticket to Tampa.
sittingticket
↓
633cb0bc-8ae4-44b3-add6-c9fc2af05ba4.gif
Oh, and I make sure he buys Debbie full fare coach, no restrictions.
buyscoachdebbiefarefullrestrictions
↓
833555cd-3121-4e0f-b33d-9089c201257f.gif
She may look good in a thong, but she's no dummy.
dummythong
↓
82f07729-2462-40ea-b1ac-11add89af7d7.gif
Sweet.
sweet
↓
06e01765-a865-4c5b-9cb3-bd25f9e5f9ce.gif
I'm thirsty.
thirsty
↓
27f827ea-56e4-4f2b-ad1b-860b1d9f9ed8.gif
Yeah, well, we'd have water if some idiot hadn't used it to write SOS in the sand.
idiotsandusedwaterwrite
↓
8f216ee6-fae9-453e-965d-c4dbe15f21f9.gif
Oh, I see. You let me carry the water, and all of a sudden I'm the idiot?
carryidiotsuddenwater
↓
27e1b6fe-48a6-4cc5-a920-3cd319854d6f.gif
Malcolm, Reese, relax. We have nothing to worry about.
malcolmmalcolm-reesereeserelaxworry
↓
de7bbc95-c4c1-49f4-bed6-068cfcb2dd42.gif
Everything's gonna be fine.
everythings
↓
a62877e3-d026-4335-a008-21907bbfcd92.gif
Now, I want you to know that I love you boys very much.
boyslove
↓
727f44df-a050-4ad1-8cfb-8d52e03eb93e.gif
He keeps saying that.
keeps
↓
2ed7e40e-6f36-4cb5-bf0a-f35b637ecb98.gif
Oh, great. Now I'm hallucinating. I see a cougar.
cougarhallucinating
↓
17529059-fc57-4257-8c52-5d8b0265f7a6.gif
Don't be stupid. That's a puma.
stupid
↓
5df77113-ee29-4e4f-a6d2-3376d6f4696e.gif
- Okay, everybody okay? - Yeah, I guess so.
everybody
↓
fcfd94da-e71a-4d0a-ad12-3c418c22458d.gif
Oh, my God. Where's Dewey? Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
dewey
↓
92981e57-573c-4e9d-8389-30b6748619c6.gif
He's back at the hotel.
hotel
↓
0088deb7-f2b3-4705-97ee-da0e5506f5be.gif
Okay, then. Nobody's hurt, everything's fine.
everythingshurtnobodys
↓
ee4ef9d8-3586-4bd3-b0e3-5666802d3849.gif
- Dad, a cougar just blew up. - I meant besides that.
besidesblewcougarmeant
↓
aa2f1f30-cfb1-4362-801a-85066985e10a.gif
That's not good. Cougars don't just blow up.
blow
↓
b121984a-4f90-4a78-9371-9c63c3c972e2.gif
As near as I can figure, I did it with my mind.
figuremindnear
↓
f6a44e60-c410-4b21-b55e-0954b233b109.gif
Reese, that's insane!
insanereese
↓
d34a2b2a-4bc2-4264-a4a6-c7c4c427f27c.gif
I wouldn't talk to me like that if I were you.
↓
f72f237f-2dea-40cf-9dfe-0c1326f593cf.gif
Okay, there must be some explanation.
explanationmust
↓
192d58f7-d4cd-44c0-a013-4a3d5d1e95a6.gif
It could've been caused by a blasting cap left by a miner,
blastingcausedcouldveleft
↓
391c4f2f-b3ab-417f-a47d-736dd94e1a79.gif
though the explosion was too big.
explosion
↓
264b9709-fd34-4111-9a8b-37c0d3907852.gif
Uh, perhaps the cougar ate some dynamite.
cougardynamiteperhaps
↓
da2b405b-ccc1-45f8-a3df-967998986ff7.gif
That's ridiculous.
ridiculous
↓
86de6ffa-7aa6-456f-bbc1-574f62ec53c8.gif
Maybe it's just a mirage. Could have been a mirage.
↓
eb8aefc9-e1b8-44bd-996c-6b5153b03f80.gif
Although a mirage usually doesn't end up all over your shoes,
shoesusually
↓
c13ef640-940f-461e-a1a0-29ece6b93594.gif
which leads me back to the Reese thing.
leadsreese
↓
c562417e-d163-4a10-bc8e-dc41bc314627.gif
I accept your apology.
acceptapology
↓
2ec3cd2c-c36a-4a45-81d9-c1adfc65be22.gif
Oh, this feels so good.
feels
↓
623088a2-238f-4ae0-bf76-2ff4104895d4.gif
You read about celebrities going to spas and having treatments,
celebritieshavingreadtreatments
↓
e13dd03d-20e5-4f26-a2e1-c9d91ba47fe1.gif
but you marry young, you start spitting out kids,
kidsmarryspittingstartyoung
↓
e7d20458-d8ab-48c8-a382-14a6a57d0c10.gif
you can kiss this kind of thing goodbye.
goodbyekiss
↓
c2f8aab2-4397-4170-bec8-543bbcdb81f4.gif
- Don't eat the cucumber slices, honey. - Okay.
cucumberhoneyslices
↓
f1a5c346-155c-413f-b5df-b1d74b53246e.gif
M-Z-R-Y-C. Nice try. What's that supposed to mean?
supposed
↓
a4037302-c309-4947-8bac-81fdc02ed592.gif
Mzryc. It's another military term. You know, the helmets that horses wear.
anotherhelmetshorsesmilitarytermwear
↓
5855b37d-b7f1-4caf-8a21-dd4a4af9139a.gif
Oh, right, right, right. This is nice.
↓
2533c965-bba7-4454-9c49-e7bf1a959672.gif
Hanging out on a Saturday, playing Scrabble.
hangingplayingsaturdayscrabble
↓
b1256ef2-75cb-420d-a03d-42ed085c98ee.gif
Couple of guys, relaxing. So your folks get along okay?
alongcouplefolksrelaxing
↓
5ac7eb7f-f2e1-4a90-b0e6-0b17ab6623b3.gif
- What? - Nothing. Here we go. Read it and weep.
readweep
↓
43023d9a-9508-4a55-a9bb-d98a76044fb6.gif
C-A-T.
↓
d494f6f5-5b6a-4873-a74b-cb8624177391.gif
Hey, that's two cats for you, that's great.
cats
↓
ba75daf9-b47a-4402-b0ac-3f0d632241c3.gif
Just playing the tiles I'm dealt.
dealtplayingtiles
↓
ec0e37d0-b432-428c-a82e-605b949a9f0f.gif
So, uh, you pick up any bad vibes here on the home front, you let me know.
fronthomepickvibes
↓
c18a760c-fdb1-423f-a0d4-6fdf353aa258.gif
- Why? - Hey! Take it easy, cowboy.
cowboyeasy
↓
b1374f6c-2b03-49d5-ad1a-4e9f88f16fc3.gif
- Just making small talk. - Okay. I guess they're doing fine.
↓
a80ff0e6-98a1-4648-a3e8-26916a891171.gif
She's a strong lady, that mother of yours.
ladymotherstrong
↓
e465cc6f-c3e3-4acb-b17b-81652d4e1791.gif
We have our moments at work, but you can't stay mad at her for long.
moments
↓
4db7d216-8b38-41cb-bea8-96749269d426.gif
- You don't have to live with her. - Maybe you don't understand her.
live
↓
c3dfdd86-1f8f-4374-94cc-d5241d9c95e9.gif
What's to understand? She's a total control freak.
controlcontrol-freakfreaktotaltotal-control
↓
f48aa4c6-ba5b-436f-8b4a-83e556134ccd.gif
Maybe she doesn't get the support she needs here at home.
homeneedssupport
↓
1334eae1-97ec-4c1d-ac2a-c76134f713cb.gif
Well, I wouldn't know, since she sent me to military school.
militarymilitary-schoolschoolsent
↓
a107eeb3-3cbb-439c-b25d-e58d14bd5b21.gif
Because you're a spoiled brat!
bratspoiled
↓
aee491ff-731f-4ab3-8df6-af2b1d7469fd.gif
And I'm pretty sure Mzyrc ends in a K!
ends
↓
1148b188-5c97-494c-84a2-2580564024b2.gif
Look, it's a house!
house
↓
eb9c14da-4c7f-468a-ac57-bce9477b50e8.gif
- Yes! - All right!
↓
79a41834-55ac-4f07-abe4-274355fd28f5.gif
Come on.
↓
73335328-8f37-4393-a13c-ffe5625718b6.gif
Hello! Hello!
↓
43c68ac5-0863-4234-9a04-6e5d611cbe5e.gif
They're sitting at the table. They're just ignoring us.
ignoringsittingtable
↓
1f0a0a5a-1b69-4c96-9061-52021c92d315.gif
They probably think we're selling something.
selling
↓
e453adeb-18bd-40a8-ac86-5e2a04028502.gif
Hey, we're lost! A cougar exploded! Can we use your phone?
cougarexplodedlostphone
↓
2a591431-b17b-44a7-ab4a-0956e0182ce9.gif
Sorry, we hate to barge in, but this is kind of an emergency...
bargeemergencyhate
↓
8f085406-53a5-461e-877e-4093bd8dc8cb.gif
Well, this is weird.
weird
↓
86293792-c6e6-41c5-be25-4ac8d3f1be9d.gif
Okay, I just figured this out. Run!
figured
↓
12bb355a-8cfc-4b2a-aef2-9df5fc1f2257.gif
We're on an artillery range!
range
↓
80875932-afa6-4e83-be49-07d7790a14a5.gif
That's why the cougar blew up! It was hit by a shell!
blewcougarshell
↓
b3da13ca-d997-420a-9ece-240a38efc1f5.gif
Are you sure?
↓
f476a4b1-190b-4cfd-967c-c051b75c8770.gif
Pretty sure.
↓
e2c41749-0aed-4005-b483-f7698a77b414.gif
♪ If your boss is giving you pressure ♪
bossgivingpressure
↓
82a6b528-30c8-4ea7-97bd-2878a1023bf7.gif
Wait!
↓
157d0855-e8c2-4401-b9f7-3b55f3697d96.gif
♪ Let go, take a breather in the park ♪
breatherpark
↓
92e6d989-7327-4e68-9837-9845935f1ca1.gif
♪ You've got to find out What's your pleasure ♪
pleasure
↓
bb544a4e-1230-4e02-b756-f0d0f3aa458a.gif
♪ In time you'll be singing like a lark ♪
singing
↓
92f01e6a-c217-4576-a39a-62ed270e41da.gif
♪ Pretty soon your sorry Will chime for all ♪
chime
↓
fc62a16a-a879-475e-911b-ed4d5549eb4c.gif
♪ Somebody will heed your call ♪
heedsomebody
↓
313c0b33-738b-469c-af2e-f4d3dd4f973b.gif
♪ Leave all your troubles and pain ♪
paintroubles
↓
1916ab07-19b3-4e73-886d-034d40e6d89c.gif
♪ And rise like Phoenix from the flame ♪
flamerise
↓
472fc92c-7a79-4d64-9c29-2dbe310ad9cc.gif
♪ 'Cause it's a good life So why y'all trippin'? ♪
lifetrippinyallyall-trippin
↓
5d6ab245-929f-455b-b9f0-d1f8192b5c4d.gif
♪ The good life slippin' away ♪
lifelife-slippinslippin
↓
dbd78a27-b602-4dcb-9198-41285c73828c.gif
♪ It's a good life So why y'all trippin'? ♪
lifetrippinyallyall-trippin
↓
453f250b-a014-4722-9ba6-efc5c4ddff96.gif
♪ The good life slippin' away ♪
lifelife-slippinslippin
↓
2880685e-a50d-4c10-9e2d-34b6ca4461f4.gif
♪ Yeah, it's a good life So why y'all trippin'? ♪
lifetrippinyallyall-trippin
↓
35f139f5-5e5d-4328-9cb1-bb2f18ebf77d.gif
♪ The good life slippin' away ♪
lifelife-slippinslippin
↓
c1861eef-20cf-405a-af82-22fca842c406.gif
No! Oh!
↓
12c0785c-b446-429b-84f8-896930cb6c47.gif
Out, out, out!
↓
d406f872-b943-468b-82f3-06ae72fc74b4.gif
♪ Yeah, it's a good life So why y'all trippin'? ♪
lifetrippinyallyall-trippin
↓
a5c2abe8-79da-408e-9c8d-7d50b05c1728.gif
♪ The good life slippin' away ♪
lifelife-slippinslippin
↓
fde4d1ec-e86d-490e-9416-6740017d5b15.gif
♪ It's a good life So why y'all trippin'? ♪
lifetrippinyallyall-trippin
↓
baf9e424-d327-4330-8a3d-833270697d6c.gif
♪ The good life slippin' away ♪
lifelife-slippinslippin
↓
4c713298-43e1-480d-8162-7ef70be398e0.gif
♪ Yeah, it's a good life So why y'all trippin'? ♪
lifetrippinyallyall-trippin
↓
6ff006ff-5489-4e8a-b15a-90e1d13fd7c9.gif
Go, go, go!
↓
73068c1c-c126-4d52-932a-73a57371cd46.gif
We're terribly sorry about this.
terribly
↓
fd2ae028-e8fb-4555-8e1b-1e8bd983b08c.gif
We realize that fences are there for a reason.
fencesrealizereason
↓
0a1e3072-eeea-430a-be62-ea94df6be946.gif
However, when we climbed the fence,
climbedfence
↓
d65a4beb-529a-44d3-afa0-970cf02f547f.gif
we weren't sure if we were going in or out.
↓
33757ed2-0771-4da4-8f16-e46d3585892e.gif
- You wanna explain the theory, son? - Not really.
explaintheory
↓
b76a4f14-8dd1-46cf-a4be-fb32eec33953.gif
This is a highly classified testing ground,
classifiedgroundhighlytesting
↓
78afcbec-e34f-4039-9ff1-072460f7adec.gif
and I could very easily detain the three of you indefinitely
easilythree
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for national security reasons.
nationalnational-securityreasonssecurity
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Know what nobody's mentioned?
mentionednobodys
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This is supposed to be the greatest army in the world,
armygreatestsupposedworld
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and you couldn't even kill the three of us.
killthree
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I've gotta tell you, I'm not impressed.
impressed
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The great thing about this trip is
trip
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the next time I hear we can't afford a vacation,
affordvacation
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I think I'll be okay with it.
↓
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I trust everything went well for you and your handsome gentleman friend?
friendgentlemanhandsometrust
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He is handsome, isn't he?
handsome
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- Can I have some ice cream? - You can have anything.
cream
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Tonight is our special night.
nightspecialspecial-nighttonight
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- Hello? - Dewey?
dewey
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Oh, thank God.
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I only get to make one call. Put your mother on so she can come get us.
mother
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- Who was that? - Wrong number.
number
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Announcing the arrival of Air Alabama Flight 63 at Gate 11.
alabamaarrivalflightgate
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Thank you.
↓
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My foot is killing me.
footkilling
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Ah, let's be brave soldiers, boys.
boysbravesoldiers
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Might get there after dark, but we've got water,
darkmightwater
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and we'll be okay.
↓
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- Tell us the story again, Dad, please? - Yeah, yeah.
story
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All right, one last time.
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Dewey is tied to a post in the burning sun.
burningdeweyposttied
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He's covered entirely in honey.
coveredentirelyhoney
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- Even his eyes? - Even his eyes.
eyes
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Uh-oh, what's that behind him?
behind
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A million fire ants, hungry fire ants,
antsfirehungrymillion
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with sharp little mandibles and itchy feet.
feetitchysharp