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Home » Malcolm in the Middle » S01E02 — Red Dress

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 1, Episode 2 — Red Dress

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Malcolm in the Middle
Episode title: Red Dress
Air date: January 16, 2000
Director: Arlene Sanford
Top billed cast: Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Christopher Masterson
Lois must take drastic steps to discover which of her sons ruined the special dress she bought for an anniversary dinner with Hal.
Source: TMDB
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- What'd you do? - What?
whatd
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Don't give me that. What'd you do?
whatd
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Nothing.
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Mom, I'm trying to study.
study
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Oh.
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I'm sure you don't mind if I, uh,
mind
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took a look in here.
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Mom, I'm telling you, we didn't do anything.
telling
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Oh, you boys are up to something.
boys
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I can smell it.
smell
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If you've broken another window, it is gonna come out of your--
anotherbrokenwindow
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Are you done? You want to frisk me?
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You just consider yourselves lucky.
considerluckyyourselves
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This time.
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That was close.
close
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Either she's losing her touch, or we're getting better.
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Ah. Great. When is that?
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That's okay. We'll put your name on our gift.
giftname
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Cool. Thanks, man. I owe you one.
coolcool-thanksthanks
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No, you owe me 20.
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Yeah.
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Oh, Craig.
craig
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Craig, you shouldn't have.
craig
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Oh, please.
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- Fine, throw it in the trash, then. - Hold on.
throwtrash
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Well, let's see what it is first.
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Oh, look at-- I've been meaning to try this color.
colormeaning
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I know, I saw you eyeing it a couple weeks ago.
couplecouple-weeksweeks
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- I didn't know we carried this brand. - We don't.
brandcarried
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- So where did you see me? - So big plans for tonight?
planstonight
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What are you gonna be wearing?
wearing
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Oh, it's gonna be great. I have the most perfect red dress, I...
dressperfect
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Took me two months to save up for it, but it was worth it.
monthssaveworth
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Oh, I've been fantasizing about this night forever.
fantasizingforevernight
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- Craig? - Huh?
craig
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Yeah, say, Lois, uh...
lois
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You want to go catch a movie or something over lunch?
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They're playing My Best Friend's Wedding in Electronics.
bestbest-friendselectronicsfriendsplayingwedding
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- Thanks, I don't-- - Fine, forget it.
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I'm okay!
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Are you boys almost finished wrapping our present?
boysfinishedpresentwrapping
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I have to meet your father at the restaurant in 10 minutes!
fathermeetminutesrestaurant
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- More paper. - I get to do the bow.
paper
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Why'd she give you the money to buy the gift?
giftmoneywhyd
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Because she didn't want another karate video.
anotherkaratevideo
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It's "karate."
karate
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I get to do the bow.
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What'd we get them anyway?
whatd
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- Picture frame. - Brown-noser.
brownframepicture
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I get to do the bow.
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We're not finished yet.
finished
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Yeah, but I get to do the bow.
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- Finished. - Finally.
finallyfinished
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No! I was supposed to do the bow.
supposed
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- Well, you should have said something. - I'm telling.
telling
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Mom!
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No!
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Fire?
fire
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Fire?
fire
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Fire?
fire
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- Mom! What's--? - This is the most stupid, irresponsible,
irresponsiblestupid
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dangerous thing you have ever done!
dangerous
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Is this what you want?
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We have to identify your charred little bodies through their dental records?
bodiescharreddentalidentifyrecords
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I want a straight answer.
answerstraight
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- Who did this? - Malcolm did it.
malcolm
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- Reese did it! - I didn't do it!
reese
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I didn't do it!
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We're going to the dentist?
dentist
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Who?
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I don't like that one anyway.
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No. No. Not that one.
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♪ They turn me down, they turn me down ♪
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♪ They turn, they turn, they turn ♪
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♪ They, they, they... ♪
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- Who? - It wasn't me. It was him.
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- It was him, it was him. - Okay. Into the hallway.
hallway
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I think I'm gonna puke.
puke
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Yeah? Well, that's gonna be the highlight of your evening.
eveninghighlight
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Because nobody is going anywhere till one of you tells me who.
nobodytellstill
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- And everything's all set up? - I believe so, sir.
believeeverythings
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Table seven? Chateau Brut '87? Hors d'oeuvres medley?
doeuvreshorshors-doeuvresseventable
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Yes, sir.
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Oh, geez.
geez
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One more thing.
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I almost forgot. See, uh, my wife always orders lobster.
forgotlobsterorderswife
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So could you have the chef slip this on the lobster's claw
chefclawslip
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just before you serve it?
serve
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She gets such a kick out of stuff like that.
kickstuff
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And so do I, for that matter.
matter
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Not a problem, sir.
problem
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The violinist has our song?
song
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- He received the sheet music this morning. - Good, good, good.
morningmusicreceivedsheet
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You would be surprised how many times I've heard "Tears of a Clown" butchered.
butcheredclownheardsurprisedtearstimes
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- Tell her. - You tell her.
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Who?
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- Malcolm! He's going on and on to... - Reese!
malcolmreese
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Okay, okay, closer to the wall.
closerwall
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Wait, Mom, seriously, it reeks over here.
reeks
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I can't help it.
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Okay, into the TV room.
room
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Let's go.
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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♪ Come on ♪
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I'll give you $5 if you tell Mom you did it.
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You tell her. You did it, because I didn't do it.
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I really didn't.
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- What are you eating? - Nothing.
eating
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Why don't you guys shut up so I can think of something?
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What's there to think of? There's nothing we can do.
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- I've never seen Mom so mad. - Me, either.
seen
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Reese is right. We're out of our league.
leaguereese
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There's only one person who ever had Mom this mad at them and survived.
personsurvived
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Hello.
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And she has your heads where?
heads
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Under the couch.
couch
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All because Reese won't admit he did it.
admitreese
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- You admit it. - I didn't do it.
admit
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- Neither did I. - Liar.
liar
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Chill. You are not gonna get anywhere fighting with each other.
chillfighting
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Now, first of all, you all burned the dress.
burneddress
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- I didn't. - Hey, you all did it.
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You have to stay together. You have to stay united.
united
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United against who?
united
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- My mom. - Nice.
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Okay, now, no one broke so far, so you should be proud of yourselves.
brokeproudyourselves
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- Did she do the toy thing yet? - Yep.
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- Spinning? - Mm-hm.
spinning
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Okay, good.
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I think I know where she's going. Separate interviews.
interviewsseparate
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Listen, when she gets you alone, she's going to pretend she's on your side.
alonepretendside
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She's not.
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Go ahead.
aheadgo-ahead
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It's a name brand.
brandnamename-brand
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I'm not mad at you.
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I know you didn't do this. You're a good boy.
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But I want you to help me find out who did.
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This is serious.
serious
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One of your brothers could have burned the house down.
brothersburnedhouse
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And for that, he will be severely punished.
punishedseverely
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But the one who helps me will be a very happy boy.
happyhelps
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And I want that to be you.
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Because you've always been the best one.
best
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You've always been the best one.
best
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You have always been the best one.
best
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Mom, honestly, I don't know who did it.
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I don't know.
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Don't know.
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Well, I guess you boys
boys
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think you've got your old mom over a barrel, huh?
barrel
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Well, we'll just see about that.
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If you boys want to play,
boys
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we can play all night long.
night
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- Sir? - Hm?
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Oh. Thank you. Thank you.
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Oh, can I have another vodka martini, please?
anothermartinivodka
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It's very good.
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This time, let's go olive, onion, olive.
oliveonion
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Why not?
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What's that? I can't hear you.
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She's killing us!
killing
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♪ Nice is good, mean is bad ♪
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♪ Don't be mean, because mean is bad ♪
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♪ Nice is better than mean ♪
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♪ Hugs are good, thugs are bad... ♪
hugsthugs
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Why does she have to ruin everything I love!
loveruin
↓
c03af193-7f73-44b9-b0ae-d6ef3e144281.gif
Francis, I'm just going to tell her I did it.
francis
↓
13eb1487-28ec-4717-8312-31db9ca62479.gif
I know it wasn't me, but anything is better than this!
↓
674f13f0-abc4-4ef5-a5ac-e44d7d6146f5.gif
Oh, God.
↓
82809b95-e671-4465-be7e-7f15cdf11e0e.gif
That is bad.
↓
225d77d1-2ad2-48aa-8c80-9f340b53af76.gif
They tried that psych-ops stuff on Noriega.
psychstufftried
↓
4b5fda84-512b-47fd-afda-76216b2e131b.gif
They said that by the end, he wanted to cut his own ears off.
earswanted
↓
b59bb966-346a-428d-8b68-e401ff1c2e5f.gif
Malcolm, you cannot crack now!
cannotcrackmalcolm
↓
9eeed72e-4729-4bda-8cbf-3885f311a078.gif
She will own you for the rest of your life.
liferest
↓
7ea2f28a-65bc-4637-bbcd-38f78cc6e9be.gif
Now, listen to me, Malcolm.
malcolm
↓
ecc95656-1971-4210-9725-20f39c6e44ec.gif
You have to do exactly what I say.
↓
7ed05ed5-a997-4a28-afa2-abeaec824c98.gif
♪ Nice is good, mean is bad ♪
↓
483970af-6b89-40cf-a539-3d7f205bd336.gif
♪ Don't be mean, because mean is bad ♪
↓
7e1f6ac9-038b-4d65-8cb8-e4babe0a5545.gif
♪ Nice is better than mean ♪
↓
28e09776-defd-4b9d-a7bb-193575c58d43.gif
♪ Hugs are good, thugs are bad ♪
hugsthugs
↓
cec13dad-a58d-49ae-bad7-e9a288292775.gif
♪ Don't be a thug, because thugs are bad ♪
thugthugs
↓
1b839ce1-7542-4594-a2c8-1768dc930e7c.gif
♪ Hugs are better than thugs... ♪
hugsthugs
↓
f342ac75-fc32-486f-a9f7-f32750fba1fa.gif
Did you see that?
↓
9d54c4a4-4b48-4961-b7e7-60954cab81ff.gif
- Hey! - Francis is a genius.
francisgenius
↓
61ed27cf-532f-406e-8a08-af85a4f35204.gif
Come on, sing louder!
loudersing
↓
c14ea3e2-9c64-4e2b-a273-72d7f4351772.gif
♪ Nice is good, mean is bad ♪
↓
9c792bc6-e19a-4c84-a005-8b0622dcade9.gif
♪ Don't be mean, because mean is bad-- ♪
↓
da1108af-265d-404e-9206-8090df51aaac.gif
Oh, this is so cute!
cute
↓
7eaf1005-9b69-468d-bfed-35fdf608faef.gif
Oh, your grandmother and all your friends are just going to love this
friendsgrandmotherlove
↓
954e8668-93f2-4cd1-8c2b-80c700e64f44.gif
at your next birthday party.
birthdaybirthday-partyparty
↓
0d6fc251-086b-45ca-b8d9-88d535915c00.gif
You're kidding me.
kidding
↓
ad1cf8ef-ec2b-401c-934a-04cf767696b2.gif
Okay, just hang in there. Give me a minute to think.
hangminute
↓
d84c76da-cc8d-4d05-994d-d318f8b45a5a.gif
Damn, she's good.
↓
eabdd6cb-51f4-4118-9737-85141672bd2f.gif
Did they crack?
crack
↓
eb35dd1d-d9c5-4556-8c17-a3a3d27cd54e.gif
Nah, Dewey faked a stomach cramp, bought them some time.
boughtcrampdeweyfakedstomach
↓
cb6a2321-f83f-45b3-8c6f-b8e36ce9f66f.gif
Good man.
↓
a0e0e6d8-6271-44f2-815b-431460fbd3ab.gif
Man, if we would have had your mom in 'Nam,
↓
8f16b579-fc8b-482c-85ab-82b65a8f44e5.gif
there'd be a McDonald's in Hanoi Square right now.
mcdonaldssquarethered
↓
682c2c2a-14d9-4e0a-b6be-5027da336615.gif
Dude, there is a McDonald's in Hanoi Square.
mcdonaldssquare
↓
0776621f-7db7-41c5-a488-5f0ff59f0eb1.gif
All right.
↓
0564978e-c599-4edf-9a8f-e77e80e39a55.gif
Franklin, I'm ready to order.
franklinorderready
↓
935625f3-e44b-4f98-9790-9e93994cab04.gif
- Are you sure, sir? - Mm-hm.
↓
babe1029-8278-4864-900b-80ae3b04e125.gif
See, in our family, we have a saying. "After an hour, eat without her.
familyhour
↓
3c162ed8-d98d-4d77-bfb2-7d4715d1aff9.gif
If it's any longer, something's 'wronger.'"
longersomethings
↓
bce76333-d510-4293-823c-dee7d72ae71d.gif
Very catchy, sir.
catchy
↓
1bf1b867-b23e-4293-800a-c62f684b9a1d.gif
Well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, Franklin.
franklingiveslemonadelemonslife
↓
785a6518-d284-4569-92ef-4945704d4090.gif
- Do you have any lemonade? - No, sir.
lemonade
↓
e828caa0-eff1-4851-96d6-cdd1ecff0171.gif
- You have lemons? - Yes, sir.
lemons
↓
dd1d4133-aa3e-4149-af3d-215ee5d6cf6b.gif
Well, throw one in another martini and let's hear those specials.
anothermartinispecialsthrow
↓
8bb7f2c9-ecb8-47f4-ac41-12d4aca880ef.gif
What's she doing?
↓
3cadaa82-0a15-4afa-9a7b-930027584ab6.gif
Can't tell.
↓
47786b3d-3838-40a5-8371-88c7e4848354.gif
Maybe she left.
left
↓
b1ef0531-b19b-4227-b144-4a38e28621b1.gif
Yeah, I'm sure she's gone out to buy us all presents.
gonepresents
↓
17fd2609-36ae-43a8-8e99-c171bf8946a3.gif
Hooray.
hooray
↓
70279789-6e3b-4b8a-b7b4-6ef5f8280840.gif
Man, it's just too quiet out there.
quiet
↓
021b8f68-f76a-4883-bcb3-264438f417e7.gif
It's driving me crazy.
crazydriving
↓
207822ec-ed94-4508-88b0-e9e826030f12.gif
Maybe we should sing some more.
sing
↓
69dfbeb2-0305-421e-b344-e3f5f03013f8.gif
Shut up, Dewey.
dewey
↓
0cfcb6d6-1fb3-4b1e-a29f-c79c590a29f5.gif
I wonder how many holes are up in those tiles.
holestileswonder
↓
75cf48d7-9c17-450f-b3a8-12cb68fc9b9c.gif
186,480.
↓
a1db8a98-4ba6-4e7e-a650-2574f7846a90.gif
You counted all those?
counted
↓
a7a07a16-ac6e-4558-8260-e18c21852240.gif
No, you just count one tile's holes, across and down,
countholestiles
↓
b14af846-0cbb-417e-867a-e8a293952b6a.gif
multiply it, then multiply it again by the number of tiles.
multiplynumbertiles
↓
73779c13-0cf8-470a-87fa-3c123d6011bf.gif
You're doing that more and more.
↓
a7eeb7a4-f352-4d2a-8bf5-a599aba54f84.gif
Doing what?
↓
c11d3d6b-1d74-47a6-bbaf-0c5ff4e4e3d0.gif
That brain thing.
brain
↓
a925bb3a-feb1-42f0-aa97-f18afb56de74.gif
Are you just going to keep getting smarter and weirder?
smarterweirder
↓
dfd84323-e47b-4882-b902-0195eb42faaf.gif
I don't know.
↓
da5ad2fe-d441-42f3-9ea3-01949ed245e1.gif
Well, can you tone it down a little bit?
tone
↓
88c180a2-4922-4891-98aa-6478359ba2ab.gif
Because I can't keep up with all these butt-kickings.
butt
↓
1e99cd80-6f37-434e-ad35-7380b8b14093.gif
What are you talking about?
↓
07e59bf2-1d12-4e17-be1a-e08963950d62.gif
Well, at least twice a day I have to whoop-ass
leasttwicewhoop
↓
ca7e04bc-10b7-4e66-b961-43e25c804e09.gif
on some kid calling you a weirdo.
callingweirdo
↓
33d120be-5d4f-4139-bea9-15664c9cdf64.gif
Honestly, it's exhausting.
exhausting
↓
9c9f510a-7da2-42f6-b5be-2f1b4b84022c.gif
You beat up people because they call me a weirdo?
beatweirdo
↓
9c007281-93c8-467e-afe0-f964b853cbbd.gif
Well, the last kid, he was a freak anyways.
anywaysfreak
↓
4a4f79aa-6b9a-4c43-9e30-dcac4759ab55.gif
He was in no position to throw out names.
namespositionthrow
↓
43c9797d-4e57-45e2-92d0-d7b4d560eb18.gif
- Thanks. - For what?
thanks
↓
2b766907-69cb-4b41-89f5-d46e71ac1346.gif
Nothing.
↓
087284d4-b779-4227-81c0-e414d63521bd.gif
Hey.
↓
cc42001f-4996-4c2d-883b-f9a09e1a4634.gif
What am I thinking right now?
thinking
↓
38587a67-64ea-44de-95e4-a52f94fa6143.gif
I'm smart, I'm not psychic.
psychicsmart
↓
5c05c4b7-c0fe-42fc-b820-595d895e8d8e.gif
- Can you understand what dogs are saying? - No.
dogs
↓
73755435-25d1-4167-a81d-4fa250037c2c.gif
I can.
↓
a8b5236b-349f-4dd2-80f0-8fad679fa4c7.gif
Oh, boys.
boys
↓
80cd3fbe-732c-47df-a8cc-f94a23eec264.gif
I don't know who put you up to this sticking-together garbage,
garbagesticking
↓
b175102f-da57-4786-8f7e-2199a49add8c.gif
but I don't like it.
↓
69b3e524-29c2-4d32-8a2d-0b88a1f48cd8.gif
Therefore, you have forced me to do something terrible.
forcedtherefore
↓
ef128bdd-10b9-4292-9e19-9a36f7f6a342.gif
Say good-bye to a cherished family member.
familyfamily-membermember
↓
ac0bd57d-05c6-48a5-acb9-85998f59b347.gif
Who?
↓
1cc870a5-248d-481e-bc9f-8cfe303e0477.gif
No!
↓
e3a05186-96b1-4636-b7a8-87f6264554a4.gif
- No! - Ah-ah-ah!
↓
0d970a8d-e5e7-416c-bc8b-596e9f241da2.gif
Don't you dare.
dare
↓
05eae9b7-d97e-40e3-aae0-2b278b9fc036.gif
And don't move a muscle.
muscle
↓
5463bb75-f249-42d6-a36d-bce8b8bd249b.gif
Hi, Lois.
lois
↓
ddf991c1-619e-4666-8582-b3f7b460daa9.gif
Look, Ed, uh, it's 9:00. I'm a little busy right now.
busy
↓
2ce07370-328c-43da-af10-19cc14dc890c.gif
Well, you see, there's the problem.
problem
↓
ce1e0294-734c-4f8f-a678-7efe7a1d5784.gif
It's 9:00 at night, and I keep hearing screaming.
hearingnightscreaming
↓
58f7fd66-4981-4beb-a084-db959b56e1b5.gif
Now, this didn't sound like your normal screaming.
normalscreamingsound
↓
b4bcbae3-6895-4e3d-b139-d057f39ea912.gif
It was more like killing-screaming.
killingscreaming
↓
b0ea4e38-45b2-47be-b808-d348c4a02978.gif
I'm not one to complain.
complain
↓
82a75551-1c58-4757-b8a5-633c4e3a3477.gif
That's why we like you.
↓
0e932268-21db-4e8c-ab56-a3537e0d59e2.gif
In your room now.
room
↓
591a4ef6-1087-40c7-8adb-7e2ea67b2c1b.gif
Nice place you got here.
place
↓
2d01b6d5-6d57-49ce-976f-726a65e54fb6.gif
Thank you, sir.
↓
b674271e-1872-4edc-8bc0-f0cfdb8feac6.gif
I like to create an atmosphere.
atmospherecreate
↓
add47ae0-7f96-4e92-a0e6-3fc22aff7390.gif
- Did you enjoy your meal, sir? - Well...
enjoymeal
↓
2acc681b-7097-4b9c-bc05-b27f07f3dc49.gif
if you can call four olives, two onions, and a whole lot of alcohol a meal,
alcoholfourmealonionswhole
↓
58fb3611-c7c7-41a6-8f58-d70bab886a7e.gif
then, yes.
↓
3f94533a-24e4-403e-b2e6-8952eca193be.gif
Very good, sir.
↓
a9e7b169-ba51-4206-aa53-af9625a7d7ed.gif
What have you got in the cologne department?
colognedepartment
↓
1fd7a7ef-4474-4d7e-bc9d-0b9f067f365a.gif
Um, were you looking for anything in particular?
lookingparticular
↓
083afdc7-9599-4459-8e5f-46c1ef5b4cf2.gif
Well, I've been thinking about a signature scent.
scentsignaturethinking
↓
9dbb87f3-0c14-4ed4-a1c6-0036a4b583e1.gif
You see, I'd like to leave a room and have people say,
room
↓
ead4e250-aa20-467d-925e-8d6fdeff6b21.gif
- "Boy, smells like Hal in here." - Oh.
smells
↓
b4a1f73f-926a-4cf3-8eaf-eddb4030f5f0.gif
But in a nice way.
↓
29be0665-9a10-486c-8d4e-4ccda8dd5c07.gif
- Right. - Yeah.
↓
8f0fe979-5219-479e-844e-3c4ced181c13.gif
Uh, let's see, you...
↓
9c34617c-2fd7-416e-a435-c8d9e14d8680.gif
You strike me as a sandalwood.
strike
↓
bd7d1596-f68a-4811-86c4-e0b55c89bd02.gif
Sandalwood, huh?
↓
1815292a-7b95-45e1-8273-6e9fa940ce39.gif
Sandalwood. Let's give it a smell-see, shall we?
smell
↓
20a58f04-ec98-476f-9b68-a0125469d921.gif
Huh?
↓
abd7f21a-9538-46dc-9f3b-a73b2886d9a2.gif
Yes.
↓
52342d81-af1f-40cb-b517-0c56c909943c.gif
That's quite nice. Hit me.
↓
949042a5-ab86-4b9f-8461-c35bc4396467.gif
Here we go.
↓
967d9607-0ef5-4c42-a536-42a09b23198f.gif
Oh, that's-- That is quite nice. Ooh!
↓
4fab5c41-e0fd-4ffc-a150-579e99a609a7.gif
You do a service to your craft, sir.
craftservice
↓
a1f053d5-d641-48e5-884f-590d8ffdbb6f.gif
This man is a genius.
genius
↓
73ca5cac-2c9d-4bc9-a5b1-cc61de733fad.gif
Snooty bastard.
bastard
↓
dc52607c-97b7-4e9d-8285-8306cc8f08b1.gif
You'd think this place would be the great equalizer, huh?
place
↓
b4e78f3b-8efa-4993-beec-541326a2774e.gif
You know, even a king looks like a fool
foolking
↓
342c2f9a-95b3-4327-bfef-079d9243f43e.gif
when he's answering nature's call, am I right?
answeringnatures
↓
cee737dc-a50c-45b3-86d5-e3acc24be221.gif
Of course I'm right.
course
↓
5019d108-de21-4787-b0eb-a3316f3e8e58.gif
Well, it's been a pleasure.
pleasure
↓
13dfb7bf-d55d-45fe-8a71-47c8074d3803.gif
Oh.
↓
6ca6e3c0-0ab5-4fa0-ba44-0d817f4a3c50.gif
Sorry.
↓
59fb7486-2beb-4953-829f-69b9cd022783.gif
Have a good evening.
evening
↓
109a2e56-abc4-4371-a05f-f010ac28dd81.gif
Uh, sir?
↓
faedd6f7-d058-411e-9191-7cfeeb058205.gif
Yes.
↓
86075b7f-a3c4-4721-aacc-4930cc3c92b7.gif
Thank you for making eye contact with me.
contact
↓
2dd8637d-c786-4f6d-a623-8b952b4b0b51.gif
Boys, I just-- I don't know what to do anymore.
anymoreboys
↓
44725abc-e44e-4641-8699-1b05b6da8c61.gif
I don't want to punish anyone. All I want is the truth.
punishtruth
↓
7d221bd5-1f91-402f-90cd-ae9b596c6e78.gif
I don't know how things got this far, but I just want it to stop.
↓
fd3ab793-e706-48b5-b9bd-88fea443b784.gif
Nah, they'll never buy it.
↓
c41a649a-bd18-421c-aac0-3b94dfb11b32.gif
Oh, my God, Hal.
↓
00c08b72-ecd5-4a9f-b790-983fc5737595.gif
They saved the TV.
saved
↓
3ec70841-0141-46bc-9d59-59bbcd6e3fd9.gif
- All right! - Yes, yes!
↓
abe0bdfc-41df-452b-acad-de65c47bf473.gif
Beautiful work, beautiful.
↓
fb00f645-e39e-447b-b3aa-63405e5e7ee3.gif
You have her exactly where you want her, totally crazy.
crazy
↓
da494236-6abd-421c-bfa6-c3fb971608ad.gif
Now it's time to take the offensive.
offensive
↓
c4b9236e-2e19-44a6-8bde-deadd4574521.gif
- The offensive? - Exactly. She won't--
offensive
↓
c590704d-83d0-4d99-a31a-e4c4f8605f46.gif
Wait a minute.
minute
↓
2d2327bb-479f-412a-9a2a-1f542ac8f200.gif
- Did you hear breathing? - What?
breathing
↓
6bb216cb-a586-4d2b-93dd-788638d891c5.gif
Mom?
↓
7a9ae65e-9e39-48a7-9635-d6653dad4a58.gif
Malcolm.
malcolm
↓
55778bad-1701-40a4-a3a2-c3df2493d14e.gif
Would you hang up the phone, please?
hangphone
↓
c9c1a25c-af95-4e89-9f7e-f44725c54e48.gif
Hi, Mom. Happy anniversary.
anniversaryhappyhappy-anniversary
↓
89948f0a-a9ec-4323-a398-0cf9b90f2f7d.gif
- Not good. Not good. - What is it? What?
↓
f4bcb922-a4c2-4dc8-b842-c72040cd7139.gif
Mom! Phone!
phone
↓
e9309f35-fff5-4cd6-91ea-1bac05346ec8.gif
Oh, man! Oh, man.
↓
b6d9f6b3-63d1-448d-be30-8d2798100ea9.gif
We're gonna die!
↓
9168ce51-aef7-4367-ab00-d8e15063d3d9.gif
That's it. I got to run away.
↓
9ba25dd9-64a1-4715-849c-84d7213c4119.gif
Oh, wait!
↓
cc21f73b-1b27-4a37-a213-0ce3e617a0fe.gif
We can get out of this.
↓
59e57751-396b-4f22-8aa3-0e798e5c56be.gif
You have to use that brain of yours. Think. Think!
brain
↓
8799ba18-2130-412d-a746-5bef16d4bfe5.gif
All I can think about is how hard he's twisting my nipple. Ow!
hardnippletwisting
↓
3b3bd4e8-6727-4930-a568-a8b1106425ca.gif
Okay. Think. Think.
↓
968de9d6-9e20-4bb8-90a9-376bdbdba3fd.gif
I got it.
↓
a7cbfb78-97cd-409f-8b96-83f9ab5a2f2f.gif
Here it is. That's our song.
song
↓
630f7ff7-bafb-4672-8050-dcf26854b4be.gif
Not our song.
song
↓
ee393eca-128a-40fc-986e-db7f6c963bb3.gif
No, no, not...
↓
cc973598-68b4-45ef-8452-97ffcb5369d5.gif
Can I have one of the...?
↓
b3520387-e540-4e00-9361-ba4b4a9fd6c1.gif
Another one. Yeah.
another
↓
1654fc11-6a95-45a6-a01f-c1bc5a299ea2.gif
I cannot believe you, Francis.
believecannotcannot-believefrancis
↓
bceaa1d0-1cff-41f2-be5b-054773c08e05.gif
You think you are so clever turning them against me, don't you?
cleverturning
↓
de7b6827-ddce-443e-b821-f970b45249ed.gif
No, Mom.
↓
c142ad2f-61da-4fc1-a707-d82ba47ccadd.gif
We did not send you to Marlin Academy
academymarlinmarlin-academysend
↓
f3388182-c41a-4d30-ace7-9df9099fc9f0.gif
so that you could undermine my authority long-distance.
authoritydistanceundermine
↓
a69e60a2-efcc-4114-989c-53124df9befb.gif
Well, why did you send me?
send
↓
aaa29750-492f-43f3-a751-381110201c84.gif
Well, it was not so that you could undermine my authority.
authorityundermine
↓
ab8d42d2-48c7-4e99-bb17-e38d26ea3d3c.gif
And if I am not mistaken, you are undermining my authority!
authoritymistaken
↓
d78079e7-c61f-4132-af43-c1905098b475.gif
What are you doing? You're spending your anniversary at home.
anniversaryhomespending
↓
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Fixating on a stupid dress.
dressstupid
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Is that what you wanted tonight?
tonightwantedwanted-tonight
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What am I supposed to do, Francis? Let it go?
francissupposed
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Yes, that is exactly what you should do.
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Let it go. But you can't. You can never let anything go.
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I can, too, let things go.
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- Fine. - I can.
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- Fine. - I can!
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Okay, just forget I said anything.
forget
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I cannot talk to you anymore. You make me so mad.
anymorecannot
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Sometimes I just want to break your neck.
breaknecksometimes
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- Did you get the cookies I sent you? - Yeah, they were great.
cookiessent
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Good.
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I swear to God, on paper, this was a great idea.
ideapaperswear
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All right, that's it.
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Get dressed we're going to dinner.
dinnerdressed
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Oh, my God, it did work.
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- What? - Dinner.
dinner
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I won't have you boys starving to death.
boysdeathstarving
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Last thing I need are social workers and reporters tearing up the front lawn.
frontfront-lawnlawnreporterssocialtearingworkers
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Now, hurry up before I change my mind.
changehurrymind
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What about the dress?
dress
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I really liked that dress.
dressliked
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Hey, thanks for the ride, Tony.
ridethankstony
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Anytime, Hal!
anytime
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Hello.
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Honey?
honey
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Boys?
boys
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Anybody home?
anybodyhome
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Ha-cha!
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This evening just keeps getting better and better.
eveningkeeps
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Of course not.
course
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Why would you want get in your car
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when you're perfectly comfortable right where you are?
comfortableperfectly
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Well, wait until you hear about this great big combo.
combo
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You know, the one with a big pickle, lettuce, and sliced tomatoes?
lettucepickleslicedtomatoes
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No big deal, right?
deal
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Why disturb yourself for two all-beef patties
beefdisturb
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sweet, crisp onions and sauce?
crisponionssaucesweet
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Oh, no, no.
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Okay, okay.
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Oh, jeez! Not again.
jeez