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Home » Shrek » S01E01 — Shrek

Shrek

Season 1, Episode 1 — Shrek

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Only shooting stars break the mold.
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- Think it's in there? - AI right. Let's get it!
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Whoa. Ho ID on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?
whoa
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Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread.
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Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant.
giant
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Now, ogres... They're much worse.
ogresworse
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They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.
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- No! - They'll shave your liver.
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Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!
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- Actually, it's quite good on toast. - Back! Back, beast!
beasttoast
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Back! I warn ya!
warn
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Right.
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This is the part where you run away.
part
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And stay out!
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Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.
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All right. This one's full.
fullones
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Take it away!
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- Move it along. Come on! Get up! - Next!
along
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Give me that! Your flying days are over.
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That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!
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- Get up! Come on! - Twenty pieces.
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Sit down there!
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Keep quiet!
quiet
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This cage is too small.
cage
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Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again.
stubborn
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I can change. Please! Give me another chance!
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- Oh, shut up. Oh! - Next!
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- What have you got? - This little wooden puppet.
puppetwooden
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I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.
puppetreal
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Five shillings for the possessed toy.
fivepossessed
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- Take it away. - Father, please! Don't let them do this!
father
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- Help me! - Next. What have you got?
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Well, I've got a talking donkey.
donkey
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Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.
prove
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Oh, go ahead, little fella.
aheadfella
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Well?
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Oh, oh, he's just... He's just a little nervous.
nervous
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He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you bone headed dolt...
boneheaded
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- That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! - No, no, he talks!
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He does. I can talk. I love to talk.
love
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I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
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- Get her out of my sight. - No, no!
sight
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I swear! Oh! He can talk!
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Hey! I can fly!
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- He can fly! - He can fly!
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- He can talk! - Ha, ha! That's right, fool!
fool
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Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.
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You might have seen a house fly, maybe even a super fly,
housemightseensuper