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Home » Idiocracy » S01E01 — Idiocracy

Idiocracy

Season 1, Episode 1 — Idiocracy

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Ow, my balls!
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[ Groans ] [ Man On TV Screaming ]
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Huh?
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[ Groaning ]
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[ TV: Tires Squealing, Man Screaming ] [ Man Watching TV Laughs ]
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[ Joe ] Where's-- Hold on. Shut up!
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[ Man Laughing ]
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[ Tires Squealing ]
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- Where's Officer Collins? - Shut up!
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[ Man On TV ] Next week on Ow! My Balls!, Hormel goes to Paris!
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- Are we on base? - I'm gonna base your ass on my fist.
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In your face, ass! Shut up.
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I'm sorry. It's just-- Where am I?
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Shut up! I told you already!
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[ Flushes ]
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Yeah! Wouldn't shut up!
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Come in here and not shut up.
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Yeah, you were like, "I'm not shuttin' up," and I was like--
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[ Narrator ] Unaware of what year it was,
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Joe wandered the streets, desperate for help.
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But the English language had deteriorated...
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into a hybrid of hillbilly, valley girl, inner-city slang and various grunts.
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Joe was able to understand them, [ Indistinct ]
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but when he spoke in an ordinary voice,
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he sounded pompous and faggy to them.
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[ Man On P.A. ] Paging Doc-- [ Slurring ]
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Report to, uh--
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Dr. Lueboo,
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uh, report.
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Your floor-- Your floor is now clean. [ Beeping ]
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Your floor-- Your floor is now clean.
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Your floor-- Your floor is now clean.
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Hi, uh, I was in an army experiment, and I'm not feeling so well.
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I think it might have been the drugs they had me on.
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I've been hallucinating.
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My head is just killin' me.
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My-My-My joints are all achy and I--
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Is this a hospital or--
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- Actually, I don't even know where I am. - [ Beeps ]
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[ Electronic Voice ] Please proceed to the diagnostic area on the right,
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- and have a healthy day! - Oh. Thanks.
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Thank you!
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Uh, 'scuse me. I think this might be Gatorade or somethin'.
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- I was just looking for some regular water. - Water?
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- Yeah. - You mean like in the toilet? What for?
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You know, just to drink.
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[ Laughing ]
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[ Continues Laughing ]
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