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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S08E08 — Charlie Rules the World

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 8, Episode 8 — Charlie Rules the World

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: Charlie Rules the World

Air date: December 06, 2012

Director: Matt Shakman

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

After slipping into an unhealthy obsession with computer games, The Gang wrestles to define the difference between the real and the virtual worlds.

Source: TMDB

↓

You were disrespectful to me.

disrespectful

↓

That's the past.

past

↓

God, get a life.

life

↓

This is my life, bitch.

bitch life

↓

You bitch!

bitch

↓

Aw, you slut.

slut

↓

Ah, hold still, Charlie... you're flickering.

charlie

↓

Sorry, it's... I'm trying to get you good images, but I keep getting

images

↓

shocked a little bit.

shocked

↓

Well, don't let that affect your work.

affect

↓

No, I'm really trying not to.

↓

It's just that, you know, I have to run the wires from the other building...

building wires

↓

Building and, you know, there's asbestos in the ducts, which...

asbestos building ducts

↓

Good for breathing, so I'm tired.

breathing tired

↓

Why are you watching this crap?

watching

↓

Come on, turn the TV off.

↓

Let's go out, let's do something... I'm bored.

bored

↓

Hey, let's go dancing, huh?

dancing

↓

I want to do something.

↓

Dancing?

dancing

↓

We're watching Real Housewives.

real watching

↓

You know, there's nothing real about this shit, Frank.

frank real

↓

You know that, come on.

↓

Real women don't even look like that.

real women

↓

Hey, guys.

↓

That is what real women look like.

real women

↓

Dee, are you sick?

sick

↓

No, I feel great.

↓

Oh, I haven't had a chance to shower for a few days.

chance days shower

↓

I've been gaming like a loon.

gaming

↓

You've been what?

↓

Gaming... I've been playing this online video game.

game gaming online playing video video-game

↓

It is awesome.

awesome

↓

Charlie, speaking of which, you want to come play my avatar for

avatar charlie speaking

↓

a little bit while I run some errands?

errands

↓

I don't want my crops to die.

crops

↓

Nah, I'm kind of busy working for the guys at the ele...

busy working

↓

Shit!

↓

Yes, he's working for us.

working

↓

He will do nothing of the sort.

↓

We're going dancing. Come on!

dancing

↓

What if I give you three bucks?

bucks three

↓

Hey, you're our employee.

employee

↓

You do what we say.

↓

I pay your rent.

rent

↓

Do not drop those wires!

drop wires

↓

Hey, Charlie, to live is to dance. Let's go.

charlie dance live

↓

Charlie, what if I gave you five bucks?

bucks charlie five five-bucks

↓

You owe me five bucks!

bucks five five-bucks

↓

Ah, shit! Screw it!

screw

↓

Son of a bitch! Shit!

bitch

↓

All right, I'll tell you what.

↓

I'm gonna go with Dee, okay?

↓

But I'm getting sick of this shit, I really am.

sick

↓

You treat me like a dumb-dumb and a grunt, and I have

dumb dumb-dumb grunt treat

↓

potential, you know?

potential

↓

I can go places, I can do things.

places

↓

Who knows?

knows

↓

I might even rule the world one day.

might rule world

↓

Rule the world, huh?

rule world

↓

Yeah, if that happens, I'll blow myself.

blow happens

↓

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

corrections honeybunny sync sync-corrections

↓

Okay, so it's called TechPocalypse, right?

called

↓

And we're post-apocalypse, and we have to rebuild civilization.

apocalypse civilization post rebuild

↓

This is me, ZingingCutie23.

↓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down!

slow whoa whoa-slow whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-slow whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

ZingingCutie 23.

↓

Are you pretending that you're 23 years old?

pretending years

↓

- No. - It seems like it.

seems

↓

No, I... It's... I... It's a random number that I picked.

number picked random

↓

It's a random number?

number random

↓

It's a number to put at the end of that. You know what?

number

↓

Just watch over my tribe, and make sure nobody, you know,

nobody tribe watch

↓

takes it over, and I'll give you your money, okay?

money takes

↓

Okay. Okay. Wait.

↓

Hold on a second. What is that?

second

↓

That's you.

↓

You're one of my subjects.

subjects

↓

That's me.

↓

Why am I in the game?

game

↓

Is that Mac?

↓

Of course that's Mac.

course

↓

You guys are all here.

↓

See, Mac's my handmaiden.

macs

↓

How do you do?

↓

How do you do?

↓

And Dennis is a midget blacksmith.

dennis midget

↓

Frank is a mutant half-donkey.

donkey frank half mutant

↓

And you're my jester.

jester

↓

Why am I eating out of a trough?

eating

↓

Made sense.

sense

↓

Are you kidding me?

kidding

↓

So let me get this straight.

straight

↓

You've been playing this game for, like, a week straight just

game playing straight week

↓

so you feel like you lord over all of us? Is that what this is?

lord

↓

Charlie, do you want your five bucks or not?

bucks charlie five five-bucks

↓

I want my five dollars.

dollars five five-dollars

↓

It's just pathetic, Dee.

pathetic

↓

Okay, well, maybe it is.

↓

Maybe it isn't.

↓

I really do need the money, though.

money

↓

Yeah, well, then get to work.

↓

Can you give me an advance?

advance

↓

No, not in advance.

advance

↓

We'll see how well you do.

↓

All right, I got this.

↓

I got this.

↓

Yeah.

↓

See, this is what I'm talking about, guys, huh?

↓

I mean, playing online video games and watching stupid

games online playing stupid video video-games watching

↓

reality shows... that's not real life.

life real real-life reality shows

↓

It's keeping people from experiencing real life.

experiencing keeping life real real-life

↓

Yeah?

↓

This is real.

real

↓

It's real, but it feels weird as shit.

feels real weird

↓

There's nobody else in the bar dancing.

dancing nobody

↓

We're setting the tone, Frank.

frank setting tone

↓

Yeah, we will lead, and others will follow.

follow lead others

↓

I'm stopping.

stopping

↓

Oh, come on, don't stop.

↓

Look, all right, let's go do some shots, and that will get

shots

↓

you guys fired up, and we'll come back out, and we'll do some

fired

↓

more of this or whatever.

↓

You know, you can do the move, and... well, come on, come on, come on, come on.

↓

Hey, uh, bartender, three shots of whiskey, come on.

bartender shots three whiskey

↓

Hey, I know you guys.

↓

You're the donkey man and the princess, right?

donkey princess

↓

We don't know what you're talking about.

↓

Take a hike, Bozo.

bozo hike

↓

Geek.

geek

↓

Check it out. Look at this.

check

↓

This is... this is you, right?

↓

This-this is Frank and-and Mac from ZingingCutie's tribe?

frank tribe

↓

What the hell is this?

↓

This is Dee's online video game, and she's created characters for all of us.

characters created dees game online video video-game

↓

She's humiliating us virtually.

humiliating virtually

↓

Who cares? It's a video game.

cares game video video-game

↓

What do you mean, who cares?

cares

↓

This is starting to piss me off.

piss starting

↓

Stop getting invested in fake realities.

fake invested

↓

Let's live real life!

life live real real-life

↓

Well, Dennis, my anger feels very real.

anger dennis feels real

↓

Are you feeling it?

feeling

↓

Are you feeling it?

feeling

↓

Yeah, well, it's not real.

real

↓

It's not.

↓

I-I-I... I'm angry.

angry

↓

Okay, it's not real, and you know what it also isn't?

real

↓

It also isn't epic, okay?

epic

↓

And you know what is epic?

epic

↓

Doing these shots, going out there and dancing.

dancing shots

↓

Come on, do it, do the shots.

shots

↓

I'll do the shots.

shots

↓

I'll just do the shots.

shots

↓

How about that?

↓

Mm-hmm.

↓

Oh, somebody got a smart phone.

phone smart somebody

↓

Okay, you know, I tell you what, Carl.

carl

↓

Let's settle for a C trade.

settle trade

↓

We'll call it a day on that.

↓

I got to run.

↓

ZingingCutie44 is back, so I'm out.

↓

Changed your name.

changed name

↓

What the hell are you doing, Charlie?

charlie

↓

I told you to just feed my crops.

crops feed

↓

I did, I fed your crops, and then I gathered some rocks, and

crops gathered rocks

↓

I built a little wall around your tribe.

built tribe wall

↓

Then I used the leftover rocks to dam the river so that you could fish.

fish leftover river rocks used

↓

Now you're doing well in the game.

game

↓

You sucked at it, all right?

sucked

↓

All you did was spend your money on stuff you don't need, just

money spend stuff

↓

like in real life.

life real real-life

↓

I don't do that in real life.

life real real-life

↓

Yes, you do.

↓

What did you get at the store?

store

↓

I bought a smart phone so that I can play the game on the go.

bought game phone smart

↓

What's going on with the fingernails?

fingernails

↓

Well, I had those done like Flo-Jo.

↓

Why?! It's craziness.

↓

I just thought it would be funny. I... Dee, this is your problem.

funny problem

↓

I could take this money, I could feed myself for a month.

feed money month

↓

I would buy milk, I would buy flour, I'd buy vitamins, I'd

flour milk vitamins

↓

boil them down to little energy balls to sustain me, but whatever. Forget it.

balls boil energy forget sustain

↓

Enjoy your game, enjoy all your new followers, and you're welcome.

enjoy followers game welcome

↓

Oh, shit!

↓

Charlie, you got me 31 new followers?

charlie followers

↓

Yeah.

↓

That's amazing!

amazing

↓

Hey, do you want to maybe team up?

team

↓

No, 'cause I don't want to be a slave.

slave

↓

Come on, Charlie, please.

charlie

↓

I need you.

↓

It's, like, when I'm doing good in the game, I'm doing good in life.

game life

↓

Oh, I want to make fun of you for saying that, but I kind of

fun

↓

know what you mean.

↓

It's like I'm thriving.

thriving

↓

You are thriving.

thriving

↓

Yeah, I did feel that, and I... You felt that?

↓

I did, I felt that, you know, and I never get to thrive.

thrive

↓

I want to be the guy who thrives for once.

↓

Right? Me, neither.

↓

All right, I'll tell you what... make me your king, and let's get rocking.

king rocking

↓

Ew, no. I don't want to do that 'cause we'd have to be

↓

married, and that would be awful.

awful married

↓

Oh, okay, I'll see you later.

↓

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

↓

Sit down, sit down, sit down.

↓

I'll make you my king; just accept my request to consummate.

accept king request

↓

Consummate? What is that?

↓

Have sex.

↓

Oh. So, um, we should have sex then?

↓

In the game.

game

↓

Yeah, in the game, sure, yeah.

game

↓

Yeah.

↓

Either way.

↓

Uh, so, push enter hard, or one, like, slow push, and you do your

enter hard push slow

↓

thing, or a little circular action?

action circular

↓

Just push the button, Charlie.

button charlie push

↓

Just push the button.

button push

↓

That was good, right?

↓

Was it?

↓

I think.

↓

You see me, Frank, you see me coming?

coming frank

↓

I see you, I see you.

↓

Oh, here comes another guy.

another comes

↓

I'm gonna fight him.

fight

↓

Mac attack!

attack

↓

Fight!

fight

↓

I lost again!

lost

↓

Goddamn it, how do I keep losing?

goddamn goddamn-it losing

↓

I'm huge.

huge

↓

Stop fighting every guy in the game.

fighting game

↓

The fighting is the best part.

best best-part fighting part

↓

It's the only reason I'm playing.

playing reason

↓

Oh, my God, will you guys please shut up?

↓

I'm hungover as shit.

hungover

↓

We're playing TechPocalypse.

playing

↓

Mac is a soiled fool, and I am a gorgeous girl with big cans and

cans fool girl gorgeous soiled

↓

I'm banging all the fishermen in sight for fish and I'm also

banging fish sight

↓

being catty with all the women in the game, like I'm a Real Housewife.

game housewife real women

↓

Look, Dennis, I-I'm six-foot- ten.

dennis foot

↓

I have always wanted to be six- foot-ten.

foot wanted

↓

Hey, look, Mac, you're five- foot-nine, and Frank, you're a

five foot frank nine

↓

man... an ugly, old man!

ugly

↓

You're not understanding this, Dennis, but I think I have

dennis understanding

↓

something that could help you wrap your head around it.

head wrap

↓

I've never had my hair cut in a bedroom.

bedroom hair

↓

Well, one thing I've learned from cutting hair all these

cutting hair learned

↓

years, Danielle, is you don't have to go to a high-end salon

danielle salon years

↓

to get a high-end salon-quality cut.

quality salon

↓

Little spritz?

↓

Why are we watching Dennis' sex tape?

dennis tape watching

↓

Shh.

↓

It's cold.

cold

↓

I know.

↓

Well, we'll make it hot in a minute, don't worry about that.

minute worry

↓

Well, don't... Well, it's always... there's

↓

always so much, so much preamble.

↓

Okay, here we go.

↓

Okay.

↓

Oh, oh, um, all right.

↓

All right.

↓

Whoa.

whoa

↓

Now, Dennis, how does this make you feel?

dennis

↓

Powerful.

powerful

↓

Yes, of course, but how does it affect you sexually?

affect course sexually

↓

I'm very aroused right now.

aroused

↓

I, too, am aroused.

aroused

↓

I'm starting to swell up.

starting swell

↓

Yeah.

↓

See, now all three of us are aroused, and there's not a woman in the room.

aroused room three woman

↓

See, this is no different than sports or video games.

games sports video video-games

↓

It's all a virtual experience.

experience virtual

↓

No, no, no, bullshit, this was real, okay, this happened, I

bullshit happened real

↓

did this.

↓

All right, I drew this woman in, I styled her hair, I entered her

drew entered hair woman

↓

with almost no resistance.

resistance

↓

I did these things.

↓

You say it's real, but what even is reality?

real reality

↓

Yeah, who knows?

knows

↓

We don't even know if we're in this room.

room

↓

We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.

dream outer outer-space space turtles

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

I'm gonna go out into the real world again today and have real experiences.

experiences real real-world today world

↓

I'm gonna draw those people in to me, okay?

draw

↓

A turtle's dream.

dream turtles

↓

That's crazy, lunacy.

crazy

↓

So, tell me something, Queen of Thrones, how about we stop

queen thrones

↓

being enemies, we start becoming friends here, huh?

becoming enemies friends start

↓

Charlie, I just got a new nose and I'm flying to Miami to get my lips inflated.

charlie flying inflated lips miami nose

↓

Can you hang on one second?

hang second

↓

What, Dee, what are you buying?

buying

↓

How are you paying for that?

paying

↓

We have plenty of money.

money plenty

↓

I know we have money.

money

↓

We have money because I... All right, you know what?

money

↓

Yes, fine, buy your lips, buy your noses, buy whatever you're gonna buy.

lips noses

↓

All right, don't interrupt me when I'm running our tribe,

interrupt running tribe

↓

okay, 'cause that's kind of a big deal.

deal

↓

I know, I'm sorry.

↓

All right, so don't interrupt.

interrupt

↓

Okay.

↓

Do me a favor, refill my bowl of energy balls, okay?

balls bowl energy favor refill

↓

Please make yourself useful.

useful

↓

Sorry about that, Queen of Thrones, let me step into my office here.

office queen step thrones

↓

Hey, bitch!

bitch

↓

Frank, you are SweetPeaches69?

frank

↓

How did you get so many followers?

followers

↓

What can I say?

↓

Some girls are more popular than others.

girls others popular

↓

Are you wearing a mink coat?

coat mink mink-coat wearing

↓

What, this old thing?

↓

Guy gave it to me for going down on him.

↓

I've been getting a lot of gifts lately.

gifts lately

↓

I just got sent a whole box of peaches... real ones.

ones peaches real sent whole

↓

I'm eating like a goddamn islander.

eating goddamn

↓

I'm living a pretty classy life these days.

classy days life living

↓

Ooh, you should come to my party.

party

↓

I'm gonna meet a lot of my online friends there.

friends meet online

↓

It's gonna be a very classy affair, but you can come anyway.

affair classy classy-affair

↓

Well, look, we can sit here, we can talk cheesesteaks all day

↓

long, but maybe you and I could get together at my bar, settle

settle

↓

this thing once and for all.

↓

Charlie, we got to talk.

charlie

↓

Whoa.

whoa

↓

We're going to a party... a real one... Frank's throwing it.

franks party real throwing

↓

Yes, I know what's going on.

↓

I know everything that's happening.

↓

Do you know he has a bunch of followers?

bunch followers

↓

Do you know that he's parading around in a mink coat, and he humiliated me?

coat humiliated mink mink-coat

↓

I'm a queen, okay?

queen

↓

I should be the one wearing mink and I should be throwing digs at him.

digs mink throwing wearing

↓

You know what I mean?

↓

I should have a lot more followers.

followers

↓

You want mink, Dee, you want a mink coat?

coat mink mink-coat

↓

You want a nice, real mink coat, not a virtual one like Frank?

coat frank mink mink-coat real virtual

↓

Don't dick around with this.

dick

↓

Are you serious?

serious

↓

I am dead serious.

dead dead-serious serious

↓

I trade with a guy online; he has a clothing store.

clothing online store trade

↓

I'm sure I could give him some crops, maybe a follower or two,

crops

↓

and he'll give you a mink coat.

coat mink mink-coat

↓

For me?

↓

Would you like that?

↓

I would love that.

love

↓

You, you would like that, wouldn't you?

↓

You know how that's not gonna happen?

happen

↓

What?

↓

It's not gonna happen if I'm not playing the goddamn game!

game goddamn happen playing

↓

Because when I'm not playing the game, people are attacking our

attacking game playing

↓

tribe, okay, and that's a lot of pressure, that's a lot of stress.

pressure stress tribe

↓

It's too much for you.

↓

And we could lose everything, we could lose everything that we

lose

↓

have worked for... everything!

worked

↓

I wasn't thinking.

thinking

↓

No, you're not really the thinking kind, though.

thinking

↓

I'm kind of the thinking one in the relationship, so... Right, thank you.

relationship thinking

↓

Be pretty, you know, talk to me right.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Get my energy balls.

balls energy

↓

Unbelievable.

unbelievable

↓

Hey, Charlie, we need to talk, dude.

charlie

↓

Well, well, well, if it isn't the soiled fool.

fool soiled

↓

Frank told you about that?

frank

↓

Uh, no, everyone's talking about it online; it's hilarious.

everyones hilarious online

↓

You destroyed your computer, you bashed it to bits.

bashed bits computer destroyed

↓

I'm assuming it got you in the eye... is that what's going on there?

assuming

↓

It bashed me back a little bit.

bashed

↓

Yeah, you should win those fights, you shouldn't lose...

fights lose

↓

I did win, I did win, it just got a couple of good shots in.

couple shots

↓

It did, yeah.

↓

Hey, Charlie, hey, listen, I want to tell you something.

charlie

↓

Um, Dee... Yeah?

↓

You're not going to offer our guest any?

guest offer

↓

Of course I... of course, that's what I was doing.

course

↓

Yeah.

↓

Hey, Mac, hey, did you, did you want an energy ball or two?

ball energy

↓

Yeah.

↓

Go ahead, have as many as you want... is that enough?

ahead go-ahead

↓

That's... yeah, that's good.

↓

There you go, okay.

↓

Okay, you need to fuel up.

fuel

↓

Have a bunch of balls.

balls bunch

↓

Yeah, I do, thank you.

↓

Okay, thank you.

↓

Okay... don't touch.

touch

↓

No, now I know.

↓

Right, yeah.

↓

I didn't mean that.

↓

And stop groveling, just... Let me know if you need...

↓

You're not pretty when you do that, so... Wow, you, like, totally

↓

psychologically, like, annihilated her.

↓

Yeah.

↓

You're good at building, I'm good at destroying.

building destroying

↓

We should totally team up.

team

↓

Wait, you know what?

↓

Can you do me a favor?

favor

↓

Can you watch her for a little while while I go meet a girl that I met online?

girl meet online watch

↓

A real girl?

girl real

↓

Yeah, a real girl.

girl real

↓

She's probably fat, right?

↓

Probably very fat, yeah.

↓

If she's got any fat friends, I'm, I'm in.

friends

↓

If she has any fat friends, I'll let you know.

friends

↓

Or ugly.

ugly

↓

Yeah, or ugly.

ugly

↓

If they're sick, that's fine, too.

sick

↓

Yeah, or ugly or sick or, or male or female or whatever it is that you like.

female male sick ugly

↓

That's not the point.

point

↓

Like, the point is, you know how women get.

point women

↓

You know, she catches wind that I'm meeting a girl, she's going to go...

catches girl meeting wind

↓

Oh, totally, totally.

↓

I hate women.

hate hate-women women

↓

Yeah, I-I know that you feel that way, but do what I'm asking

asking

↓

and then I can help you out with the game.

game

↓

Okay, do what?

↓

Watch Dee.

watch

↓

Oh, okay, yeah.

↓

Hello, hi.

↓

Anyone?

↓

Come on, hello, hi.

↓

God, it's unbelievable.

unbelievable

↓

Does anybody want to experience this?

anybody experience

↓

Anyone want to experience me?

experience

↓

For real?

real

↓

Oasis Sensory Deprivation.

↓

Enter a new dimension.

dimension enter

↓

Change your perception.

change perception

↓

Experience a new reality.

experience reality

↓

Experience a new reality.

experience reality

↓

Stop getting invested in fake realities!

fake invested

↓

I'm six foot, ten.

foot

↓

You're five foot, nine.

five foot nine

↓

What even is reality?

reality

↓

This is real.

real

↓

How do you do?

↓

We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.

dream outer outer-space space turtles

↓

What is real?

real

↓

Is this real? Am I?

real

↓

Who are you?

↓

Oh, I'm you.

↓

Huh.

↓

That's an amazing accent.

accent amazing

↓

I like yours as well.

↓

I think I know what reality is, but maybe I don't.

reality

↓

Everything in life is becoming more and more virtual.

becoming life virtual

↓

Aw, don't be such a wanker.

wanker

↓

Life is all in your mind.

life mind

↓

If you believe it to be real, then it's real.

believe real

↓

I'm so confused, British Dennis.

british confused dennis

↓

You create your own reality.

create reality

↓

I've known beggars to be kings and kings to be beggars, all

kings known

↓

because they believed it so.

believed

↓

It's your choice.

choice

↓

It's my choice.

choice

↓

It's your universe.

universe

↓

It's my universe.

universe

↓

And you are God.

↓

I... am... God.

↓

Oh... oh... oh, no... okay.

↓

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

↓

Charlie?

charlie

↓

Hey.

↓

Julie, right?

julie

↓

The Queen of Thrones!

queen thrones

↓

The second most powerful player in the game.

game player powerful second

↓

And you are the Mighty Rat Slayer.

mighty

↓

'Tis I, 'tis I!

↓

It's nice to meet you!

meet

↓

Yeah, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to tidy myself.

chance tidy

↓

You know, when you're playing the game, you get caught up and...

caught game playing

↓

Have a seat! Have a seat!

seat

↓

Wow, this is... It's cool to meet someone from the game, you know?

cool game meet

↓

I brought you something.

brought

↓

You did?

↓

It's nothing, really.

↓

It's just, um... the best cheesecake in Philadelphia.

best cheesecake philadelphia

↓

You dog!

↓

Uh, I'll be the judge of that, all right?

judge

↓

You little rascal, you.

rascal

↓

Uh, I don't normally meet people from the game, but you

game meet normally

↓

seem like such a nice guy.

↓

Thanks, yeah, yeah, you know... This is embarrassing, but I got

embarrassing thanks

↓

you something too, you know?

↓

I don't want... I don't want to make you feel weird but here.

weird

↓

Oh, how thoughtful.

thoughtful

↓

I wonder what it is.

wonder

↓

It's not much.

↓

Just a box of spiders.

spiders

↓

What the hell?

↓

Well, while we've been sitting here, my followers have

followers sitting

↓

burned your land, they've raped your people, and they've destroyed your tribe.

burned destroyed land raped tribe

↓

You thought you could make a move on me, Queen of Thrones?

queen thrones

↓

Well, you were wrong.

↓

What?

↓

I just wanted to have lunch with you.

lunch wanted

↓

Oh, right.

↓

Oh, let's have lunch because we're hungry and we want to eat food.

food hungry lunch

↓

Bullshit!

bullshit

↓

You think I'd give up all this for lunch?

lunch

↓

You stupid, fat pig.

stupid

↓

I'm not fat.

↓

No, you're not fat, but you were... you were supposed to be.

supposed

↓

My friend Mac said you would be fat.

friend

↓

Whatever.

↓

You're a dick.

dick

↓

And your breath smells like dog food.

breath food smells

↓

Whatever, you bitch!

bitch

↓

I got the power now!

power

↓

I'm doing good in the game, so I'm doing good in life!

game life

↓

Oh, look who's here.

↓

Well, it's nice that you came.

↓

A little overdressed.

↓

You said that this was a classy affair, Frank.

affair classy classy-affair frank

↓

It was a classy affair until you showed up.

affair classy classy-affair showed

↓

You bitch!

bitch

↓

Where are your 101 Dalmatians tonight?

tonight

↓

He's better at the zings than you!

↓

All right, Dee, give me your phone, give me your headset... I

headset phone

↓

got to get back online ASAP.

asap online

↓

I just made some big things happen.

happen

↓

Big things, baby!

baby

↓

Boom!

boom

↓

No.

↓

She's not with you anymore, bro.

anymore

↓

Hold on. Shut up.

↓

Wh-Why is the soiled fool talking to me?

fool soiled

↓

I don't need you anymore, Charlie.

anymore charlie

↓

I'd like a divorce.

divorce

↓

Ooh! Juicy!

juicy

↓

Wait, what are you talking about?

↓

I know you were gonna leave me for the Queen of Thrones, so

queen thrones

↓

I've slept with Mac to humiliate you.

humiliate slept

↓

She's humiliated you and herself by sleeping with me.

humiliated sleeping

↓

I'm good at the game now.

game

↓

Oh, my God, Dee, you stupid idiot.

idiot stupid stupid-idiot

↓

Do you... do you have a brain in your head?

brain head

↓

I was tricking that girl, so that I could destroy her tribe.

destroy girl tribe tricking

↓

We're the most powerful tribe in the whole game now!

game powerful tribe whole

↓

What are you doing?!

↓

Uh... you know, I-I guess maybe I hadn't really thought

↓

the whole thing through.

whole

↓

No, you didn't think!

↓

Because you don't think!

↓

You're just a stupid kept housewife, okay?

housewife stupid

↓

Zing it, girl!

girl zing

↓

Frank, shut the hell up!

frank

↓

How dare you all conspire against me?

dare

↓

How dare you?!

dare

↓

You know what, I want everyone out.

↓

Everyone get out of my apartment, okay?

apartment

↓

No, not you, not you, and not you.

↓

The three of you, sit!

three

↓

Get out!

↓

Okay, I think we can all agree that this game is the most

agree game

↓

important thing that ever happened to us, right?

happened

↓

Absolutely, yeah... It's very important... That's the truth.

absolutely truth

↓

It's a hugely important thing!

↓

So because I'm a nice guy, you know, 'cause I'm a cool dude,

cool

↓

I'll let you live, all right?

live

↓

But, Mac and Frank, you got to give me your shares of Paddy's Pub.

frank paddys shares

↓

Done!

↓

What?

↓

Yes!

↓

And, Dee, you're gonna have to do all the Charlie-work in the

charlie

↓

bar from here until... oh, I don't know... how's eternity sound?

eternity sound

↓

Stop... This game has gone on long enough.

game gone

↓

Uh, shit.

↓

Are you doing an accent?

accent

↓

Yeah, I was doing a British acc... It was a British accent.

accent british british-accent

↓

That was British?!

british

↓

Yeah, I had it so good in my head... uh, I was doing a really

head

↓

good British accent.

accent british british-accent

↓

Doesn't matter. Anyway... Charlie, you think you have all the power?

charlie matter power

↓

Well, you don't.

↓

You see, the only thing bigger than a king is a god.

bigger king

↓

You think you're a god?

↓

I'm the one who's thriving, Dennis.

dennis thriving

↓

I mean, look at me.

↓

You look like you're covered in Hawaiian Punch.

covered hawaiian punch

↓

Yeah?

↓

Yeah.

↓

Eh.

↓

I am the god of my own universe, Charlie.

charlie universe

↓

I decide my own reality, and I've decided all of your realities as well.

decide decided reality

↓

So, you see, I unplugged it.

unplugged

↓

You... unplugged reality?

reality unplugged

↓

I don't understand what he's saying.

↓

Me neither.

↓

I just... I deleted all of your characters from the game.

characters deleted game

↓

What?

↓

I erased all your... people.

erased

↓

H-How did you do that?

↓

Well, it was easy.

easy

↓

You guys all have the same password, "paddyspub."

password

↓

Oh, that's my password for everything.

password

↓

Mine, too.

↓

Why would you do that though?

↓

Why would you delete our characters?

characters delete

↓

Because the goddamn game was irritating to me.

game goddamn irritating

↓

I thought it was really stupid, and it really is just, you know,

stupid

↓

sort of that simple, so I ended the game, you know.

ended game simple

↓

That's the end.

↓

Doesn't have to be a whole big thing every single time, you know.

single whole

↓

That's life.

life

↓

That's just sort of how-how shit goes.

↓

Sometimes things just sort of... end.

sometimes

↓

* All night long *

night

↓

* All night *

night

↓

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

corrections honeybunny sync sync-corrections