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Home » A.P. Bio » S01E13 — Drenching Dallas

A.P. Bio

Season 1, Episode 13 — Drenching Dallas

TMDB episode metadata

Show: A.P. Bio

Episode title: Drenching Dallas

Air date: May 03, 2018

Director: Lynn Shelton

Top billed cast: Glenn Howerton, Patton Oswalt, Lyric Lewis, Mary Sohn, Jean Villepique, Tom Bennett

Jack takes interest in a revenge mission on behalf of the kids; Mary, Stef and Michelle believe they've discovered an otherworldly presence.

Source: TMDB

↓

.

↓

- Okay, start to shut up, everybody.

everybody start

↓

Here we go. Yeah.

↓

All right, come and get 'em, you dogs.

dogs

↓

You are now free to begin learning biology.

begin biology free learning

↓

Yeah, get 'em. Get 'em.

↓

Yeah, bunch of animals.

animals bunch

↓

You see, my plucky little cherubs,

↓

I am outta here.

outta

↓

Yeah, our revenge mission was a success.

mission revenge success

↓

Miles is leaving his post at Stanford,

leaving miles post stanford

↓

and I am to assume my rightful perch

assume rightful

↓

atop the philosophy department

atop department philosophy

↓

where my intellect will be worshiped by students

intellect students

↓

that don't dry hump their pillows every night.

hump night pillows

↓

- Uh, it's my understanding that an academic chair

academic chair understanding

↓

is more admin work than actual student time.

actual student

↓

- I'll miss you least of all, Scarecrow.

least miss scarecrow

↓

- Does this mean we'll get an actual biology teacher?

actual biology teacher

↓

- Yes, yes, you're finally gonna be taught

finally taught

↓

by someone who couldn't get into med school.

school

↓

Can you even?

↓

[Ramones' "Listen to My Heart"]

heart ramones

↓

- One, two, three, four!

four three three-four

↓

- ♪ Next time I'll listen to my heart ♪

heart

↓

♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪

smart

↓

♪

↓

- Gosh.

gosh

↓

Seems like only yesterday we were stumbling our way

seems yesterday

↓

through our first Miles mission.

miles miles-mission mission

↓

Ah, so many good ones, you know.

ones

↓

- I liked the planting-his-DNA- on-a-dead-body one.

body dead dead-body liked planting

↓

I still walk the Maumee River every morning

morning river walk

↓

looking for a floater.

looking

↓

- I certainly enjoyed our online love affair.

affair certainly enjoyed love online

↓

He still thinks I'm a 32-year-old named Linda.

linda named thinks

↓

♪

↓

- Colin, will you go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with me?

colin dance hawkins sadie

↓

- Uh-huh. - Ya pranked!

pranked

↓

You really think that a drummer

drummer

↓

would go to a dance with a woodwind?

dance

↓

♪

↓

- Wow. Man, they must have rehearsed the crap out of that.

must rehearsed

↓

Now who's the chick with the strong sense of self?

chick self sense strong strong-sense

↓

- Her name's Dallas. She's the worst.

dallas names worst

↓

The whole drum corps is. - One time I yawned,

corps drum whole

↓

and they threw my mashed potatoes in my mouth.

mashed mashed-potatoes mouth potatoes threw

↓

- Now wait a second. Are you guys saying that

second

↓

the drum corps are the cool kids?

cool cool-kids corps drum kids

↓

'Cause that's nuts. - Well, they're above us

nuts

↓

on the hierarchy.

↓

The newspaper kids are above them.

kids newspaper

↓

I'm not really sure who's at the top,

↓

but I'd like to think it's some kind of sex-having athlete.

athlete having

↓

- No, no, no, no, no, look. Forget the whole

forget whole

↓

food chain/hierarchy thing, okay.

chain food food-chain

↓

Have you guys absorbed nothing

absorbed

↓

from all the missions that we've done?

missions

↓

There's no greater pick-me-up

greater pick

↓

than taking down somebody who's wronged you.

somebody wronged

↓

- But, Mr. Griffin...

griffin

↓

She has a nose ring.

nose ring

↓

- Forget the nose ring.

forget nose ring

↓

Don't be intimidated by that.

intimidated

↓

That's exactly what she wants.

wants

↓

Now we're gonna get revenge on the drum corps.

corps drum revenge

↓

That's what we're gonna do. Yeah.

↓

I'm gonna pull you guys off the bottom of that food chain.

bottom chain food food-chain pull

↓

- Technically, we're above the Russian kids.

kids russian technically

↓

- Not for long. They're acclimating fast.

fast

↓

- Commies.

↓

- This is a going away video for Jack.

jack video

↓

- Oh.

↓

Jack, I've never had the opportunity

jack opportunity

↓

to say this to you face-to-face,

face

↓

but your penis is clearly visible

penis visible

↓

through your sweatpants. Okay, have fun in Hollywood.

fun hollywood sweatpants

↓

Rewind. Freeze it.

freeze rewind

↓

There. Do you see that?

↓

- Mm-mm. - Zoom in.

zoom

↓

- Okay.

↓

- Oh, my God.

↓

Is that a ghost? - Zoom in.

ghost zoom

↓

Ooh.

↓

- No. - Mm-mm.

↓

We all agree that ghosts aren't real.

agree ghosts real

↓

both: Yeah. - All right.

↓

Let's just get back to editing. - Yeah, okay.

↓

Ah.

↓

- Well, good morning, beautiful songbird.

morning

↓

You sound just like the loon that visited our lake house.

house lake sound visited

↓

- He died last summer.

died summer

↓

We're pretty sure that a power line got him.

line power

↓

We found, like, a basket of ribs.

basket found ribs

↓

Like, a charred-- - Helen, Helen, Helen, I--

charred helen

↓

So, get this. I'm finally leaving Toledo.

finally leaving toledo

↓

Yeah, I'm free.

free

↓

You've only been here three little months.

months three

↓

- Yeah, I know. I know. - Aww.

↓

I once took a nap longer than that.

longer

↓

Of course, I had just slammed into the straight side

course side slammed straight

↓

of a water ski ramp. - Uh-huh.

ramp water

↓

- My eyes were open and I was talking, but I was dead.

dead eyes open

↓

- As I was saying, um, yeah, I'm out of here.

↓

I'm gonna go head the Stanford philosophy department.

department head philosophy stanford

↓

I know.

↓

Yeah.

↓

- I'd say you're going to greener pastures,

↓

but California is on fire.

california fire

↓

- Okay. - Hey, when you leave,

↓

could I please have that big, fancy professor throne?

fancy professor throne

↓

- Professor thro-- oh, my massage chair?

chair massage professor

↓

- Yes.

↓

Yeah, you could--you could really stand to relax.

relax stand

↓

- Oh, thank you.

↓

- Ah. Hi, Ralph.

ralph

↓

- At first, I couldn't believe you were leaving.

believe leaving

↓

You know, and then I...

↓

took a sharp turn to anger.

anger sharp

↓

- Oh, did you punch a hole in the wall?

hole punch wall

↓

- Oh, tha--no,

↓

I thought it'd be cool to have an office hammock.

cool hammock office

↓

Then I found out the hard way that

found hard

↓

drywall does not support a human body.

body human human-body support

↓

- Mm. - But now I've moved on

moved

↓

to the third stage of grief;

grief stage third third-stage

↓

bargaining. Jack, I can offer you

bargaining jack offer

↓

two parking spaces.

parking spaces

↓

Now, granted, they're not adjacent.

adjacent granted

↓

- Let's see. Six-figure salary

figure salary

↓

or a second floating parking spot.

floating parking parking-spot second spot

↓

- Okay, I get it, Jack. All right?

jack

↓

I want what's best for you too.

best

↓

Look, could you at least impart some words of Ivy League wisdom

league least wisdom words

↓

to the students at the hit '90s movie

movie students

↓

Congo-themed dance this Friday?

congo dance friday themed

↓

That I can do.

↓

Yeah. Maybe I'll teach 'em about deterministic living.

deterministic living teach

↓

Yeah. Or maybe just, uh...

↓

teach 'em about deodorant.

deodorant teach

↓

- Ralph, the cash for gold guy is on line three.

cash gold line ralph three

↓

- Did you already take my chair, Helen?

chair helen

↓

- Oh, I did. Oh, it's so comfortable.

comfortable

↓

It's like my hind end is smiling from ear to ear.

smiling

↓

♪

↓

.

↓

- All right, everybody, what have we got

everybody

↓

for revenge against Dallas?

dallas revenge

↓

- We could adjust her metronome

adjust

↓

so she drums slightly off tempo.

drums slightly tempo

↓

- Hmm. That seems like your second

second seems

↓

bad idea of the day there, Colin.

colin idea

↓

No, come on, guys. We need to go bigger.

bigger

↓

- Did you ever see the movie "Carrie"?

carrie movie

↓

We could stuff the ballot box so Dallas is voted queen.

dallas queen stuff voted

↓

And then when she's on stage getting crowned,

stage

↓

we can humiliate her by covering her...

covering humiliate

↓

both: In pig's blood.

blood pigs

↓

- Yeah. Yeah. Whoo.

whoo

↓

Anybody else just get goose bumps?

anybody bumps goose

↓

Yeah.

↓

- Where will we get pig's blood?

blood pigs

↓

- My dad's butcher shop. We have troughs of it.

butcher dads shop

↓

- Let's do it.

↓

Oh, you know what, guys, keep it going.

↓

I gotta take this call. It's Stanford.

stanford

↓

Man, it feels good to say that.

feels

↓

Mm.

↓

Miles. - Jack, Jack.

jack jack-jack miles

↓

You'll never guess who I'm with.

↓

- Dean Richardson, hi. Love that tie.

dean love

↓

I'm digging it. - Well, thank you, Jack.

digging jack

↓

This shade of red is Stanford Cardinal.

shade stanford

↓

- This guy.

↓

- Aw, fun, fun.

fun

↓

Well, Jack, I'm on my way out, but we are really

jack

↓

looking forward to having your with us.

forward having looking looking-forward

↓

- You are gonna love having him.

having love

↓

Jack and I are like the same soul

jack soul

↓

in two separate bodies. - Yeah.

bodies separate

↓

- Well, Jack, I'm off.

jack

↓

Hey.

↓

Jack, between you and I,

jack

↓

Stanford are really scrutinizing

stanford

↓

their faculty's behavior at the moment.

behavior moment

↓

Turns out one of the English professors

english turns

↓

has been using his faculty website

faculty using website

↓

to sell ecstasy. - Wow.

ecstasy sell

↓

Seems like that's what the dean was on.

dean seems

↓

Yeah.

↓

But, seriously, keep your nose clean

clean nose

↓

for the next couple of days, all right,

couple days

↓

you saucy little mongoose.

saucy

↓

- Will do, you-- you fuzzy old, uh...

fuzzy

↓

- Go on. Do--what was it. - Nope.

nope

↓

I'm not gonna do this.

↓

♪

↓

- Yo, you want to hear

↓

what we've got so far? - So we'll all go to the dance

dance

↓

as a group- - Oh, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

group

↓

Nope. No mas. No mas. Yeah.

nope

↓

Turns out my Stanford job is on the line here, guys.

line stanford turns

↓

So as much as it kills me to say this,

kills

↓

I cannot douse a teenage girl in blood.

blood cannot girl teenage teenage-girl

↓

I'm gonna be over here picking out my California bang pad,

bang california picking

↓

so it's time for you guys to nut up

↓

and do this on your own.

↓

All right? Let's see here.

↓

Bang pad.

bang

↓

Bang pads.

bang pads

↓

Oh, nope, nope, nope. That's not a good website.

nope website

↓

- Okay, so what should we use

↓

as background music for Jack's video?

background jacks music video

↓

My vote is the "What a man, what a man,

vote

↓

what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man" song.

mighty song

↓

- Michelle, that's too many "what a mans."

mans michelle

↓

- I can't help it. I'm rattled.

↓

All I can think about is that ghost.

ghost

↓

- There has to be a easy explanation for it.

easy explanation

↓

It was a glare. - Yeah, plus ghosts only haunt

ghosts haunt plus

↓

places that they've died,

died places

↓

and no one's ever died at Whitlock, so...

died ones whitlock

↓

- Unless you count Beehive Beverly

beehive beverly count

↓

who died of a headfire.

died

↓

- Oh, it's Whitlock legend.

legend whitlock

↓

It was 1964

↓

and our Home Ec teacher,

home teacher

↓

Beverly Sills, was a real tomboy.

beverly real

↓

Now, that didn't set well with Principal Thorson.

principal

↓

So he made her put her hair up into a beehive.

beehive hair

↓

And one fateful day,

↓

she was pulling out zucchini muffins from the oven

muffins oven pulling zucchini

↓

and her beehive caught on fire

beehive caught fire

↓

and flash-melted down to the scalp.

flash melted scalp

↓

- Oh. - Some people say that

↓

she still roams these halls...

halls

↓

Cursed to always wear a beehive.

beehive cursed wear

↓

♪

↓

Ha!

↓

- So we'll rig the buckets of blood

blood buckets

↓

the day before in the gym.

↓

We'll get in there by crawling through the duct system.

crawling duct system

↓

- This plan sucks. - Your attitude sucks.

attitude plan sucks

↓

- Okay, dude, stop fighting. We need to figure out

fighting figure

↓

how to get into the gym. - The duct system!

duct system

↓

- Okay, guys, guys, guys. I'm not getting involved here.

involved

↓

I'm just letting you know that every teacher

letting teacher

↓

keeps a master key in their top drawer,

drawer keeps master

↓

so steal it from them when they're not looking.

looking steal

↓

- Bingo.

bingo

↓

.

↓

[Major Lazer's "Run Up" playing]

major playing

↓

- ♪ Yeah they thought that you was a shy girl ♪

girl

↓

♪ Until I made you my girl

girl

↓

♪ Girl you pushed me like a big button ♪

button girl pushed

↓

♪ Till I cuffed you like you did somethin' ♪

somethin till

↓

♪ You ain't gotta wait for it ♪

aint

↓

♪ You ain't gotta wait for me to give you my love ♪

aint love

↓

♪ You ain't got to wait for it ♪

aint

↓

♪ Things are gettin' sticky girl... ♪

gettin girl sticky

↓

- Dudes, like, seriously, disperse.

disperse dudes

↓

All right? Y'all looking shady as hell.

looking shady yall

↓

♪

↓

- Well done, ladies.

ladies

↓

- Oh, God.

↓

- Durbs, put a bell on that collar.

bell collar durbs

↓

- Ooh, my hiccups are gone.

gone

↓

- Hey, guys, I'm sorry to scare you,

scare

↓

but how great is this? I mean, it's--

↓

this is like really being in the movie "Congo."

congo movie

↓

- Durbadook, we have an issue.

issue

↓

- Whitlock is haunted. - It's Beehive Beverly.

beehive beverly haunted whitlock

↓

- Guys, there's no such thing as Beehive Beverly.

beehive beverly

↓

- So there's no Beehive--

beehive

↓

Let's--

↓

let's not say her name a third time though.

name third

↓

You know, just in case.

case

↓

Silly. It's...

silly

↓

- Whoa, we are definitely not gonna get the deposits back

deposits whoa

↓

on these gorilla suits.

gorilla suits

↓

This one smells like egg salad.

salad smells

↓

Oh, boy. Hello, everyone.

↓

The king and queen of the Sadie Hawkins "Congo" Dance

congo dance hawkins king queen sadie

↓

Inspired by the Movie

inspired movie

↓

Based on the Book by Michael Crichton...

based book michael

↓

The winners are:

winners

↓

Dallas Chaffee and Joshua McLees.

dallas

↓

Get your butts up here.

butts

↓

Good job.

↓

♪

↓

- Yes, congratulations, Dallas and Joshua!

congratulations dallas

↓

♪

↓

- Wow.

↓

♪

↓

Why isn't it working?

working

↓

Pull harder. - I'm trying.

harder pull pull-harder

↓

It must be stuck.

must stuck

↓

- Is everybody having fun in the Lost City of Zinj?

city everybody fun having lost

↓

♪ Amy love "Congo" movie

congo love movie

↓

- None of us get that.

↓

- We have not seen film. Get to point.

film point seen

↓

- Wow, even the-- even the Russian kids.

kids russian

↓

You are acclimating quickly. Well, without further ado,

further quickly

↓

I would like to introduce our keynote speaker.

introduce speaker

↓

Please welcome my ex-roomie, Mr. Jack Griffin.

griffin jack jack-griffin roomie welcome

↓

- All right, guys. Oh.

↓

Okay. Hi.

↓

I guess my message to you is pretty simple.

message simple

↓

Um, you gotta get out of Toledo.

toledo

↓

Just get the hell out of here any way you can.

↓

I got out using my good looks and my wit and my charm,

charm using

↓

but you guys don't have that,

↓

so you'll have to come up with something else.

↓

- You know, you could join a circus.

circus join

↓

Yeah, that could be cool.

cool

↓

I know those gypsies tend to hire, you know, their own,

hire tend

↓

but you could marry in. Yeah, that's one way in.

marry

↓

Maybe you wouldn't even have to work at the circus.

circus

↓

You could just, you know-- you'd make dinner

dinner

↓

for when the gypsy comes home. Just, you know, keep 'em happy.

comes comes-home gypsy happy home

↓

Otherwise, they'll steal your baby.

baby otherwise steal

↓

It's been a lot of fun,

fun

↓

but I'm sure, sure glad to be leaving this damn place.

glad leaving place

↓

Uh, okay. See ya.

↓

- Okay, uh, well...

↓

gypsy's, I think, are an unjustly maligned group.

group

↓

They gave us the tambourine.

tambourine

↓

And if you ask me, Toledo is a great place to live.

live place toledo

↓

Jack, the ladies have put together

jack ladies

↓

a little bon voyage surprise gift for you,

gift surprise voyage

↓

so take it away, ladies. All right.

ladies

↓

- Thank you, Durbs.

durbs

↓

Oh, Harvard Jack, we're gonna miss you.

harvard jack miss

↓

We made you this hella tight good-bye video,

hella tight video

↓

but we just wanted to give the audience a quick warning.

audience quick wanted warning

↓

If you see something behind Coach,

behind coach

↓

it's definitely not a ghost. - Mm-hmm.

ghost

↓

Yeah, actually, 90% sure it's not a ghost

ghost

↓

because there is no such thing.

↓

- Uh, probably not.

↓

Definitely not...

↓

Because they're probably not real.

real

↓

Definitely. The only thing we know is,

↓

we don't know what we don't know.

↓

It's most likely nothing...

likely

↓

- Miles, my main man, how's it going?

main miles

↓

- Hey, mate, I wish I could say tip-top... lollipop,

lollipop mate wish

↓

but it's far from that. I'm screwed.

screwed

↓

I'm still waiting for all the details, but

details waiting

↓

during the faculty sweep,

faculty sweep

↓

Stanford traced the IP address

address stanford traced

↓

of my cyber sweetie Linda...

cyber linda sweetie

↓

to a high school.

school

↓

Turns out, I've been speaking to a 16-year-old online.

online speaking turns

↓

And I've gotta go on Oprah tomorrow

oprah tomorrow

↓

and try and explain all of that.

explain

↓

I'm done.

↓

- Wow, yeah, no that's bad. That's bad.

↓

You know, what can I say? You know, some people

↓

make bad decisions purely of their own accord

decisions purely

↓

and, you know, they get punished.

punished

↓

- No, sorry, Jack, you don't understand.

jack

↓

This is bad for you as well, I'm afraid.

afraid

↓

I recommended you, so...

recommended

↓

Stanford's revoking the offer.

offer

↓

I'm tainted,

tainted

↓

and I've tainted you.

tainted

↓

I've tainted you bad.

tainted

↓

Stanford doesn't want you anymore.

anymore stanford

↓

♪

↓

- When you see the thing behind Coach,

behind coach

↓

just know that you don't know what that is,

↓

and it's probably nothing.

↓

- Because after all, if it was a ghost,

ghost

↓

okay, I'm sure we would have seen a sign by now.

seen sign

↓

♪

↓

- Hell no!

↓

[overlapping shouting and screaming]

overlapping overlapping-shouting screaming shouting

↓

- Everybody stay calm!

calm everybody

↓

Oh, God!

↓

♪

↓

♪

↓

♪ It's the end of radio

radio

↓

♪

↓

.

↓

[Roger Miller's "The Last Word in Lonesome is Me"]

lonesome millers roger word

↓

♪

↓

- ♪ The last word

word

↓

♪ In lonesome is me

lonesome

↓

♪ The last word

word

↓

♪ In Lonesome is me...

lonesome

↓

♪

↓

- No, we're still trying to figure out who did it.

figure

↓

No, I'm fine. It was just--

↓

it was really scary.

scary

↓

Okay. Okay. Bye, Mom.

↓

Jack, have a seat.

jack seat

↓

Uh, I am not a man who likes to beg,

likes

↓

but I'm really good at it,

↓

and, uh, I am begging you.

begging

↓

Please, please, stay at Whitlock.

whitlock

↓

Okay, I can offer you the two parking spaces from earlier,

offer parking spaces

↓

a BOGO certificate to the school store,

bogo certificate school store

↓

and... uh...

↓

a surge protector.

surge

↓

- Okay.

↓

- Sure, Ralph. I'll stay.

ralph

↓

- We're--yes!

↓

Oh, my God, this totally makes up

makes

↓

for the literal bloodbath that went down on my watch.

bloodbath literal watch

↓

Come on.

↓

Just one second.

second

↓

- ♪ The last word

word

↓

♪ In lonesome is me

lonesome

↓

♪ The last word...

word

↓

♪ In lonesome is me

lonesome

↓

♪ My hearts is a--

hearts

↓

- But we were rid of you.

↓

- Nope.

nope

↓

The dean of Stanford found out about

dean found stanford

↓

our Miles-Catfish mission

catfish miles mission

↓

and it came back to bite me in the ass,

bite

↓

so...it's over.

↓

I'm stuck here.

stuck

↓

- Wow, it's almost Shakespearean.

↓

You ruined yourself.

ruined

↓

- You know what might cheer you up?

cheer might

↓

A little revenge.

revenge

↓

Maybe we could do a good old fashion Miles mission?

fashion miles miles-mission mission

↓

- Oh, yeah, I don't know if you saw,

↓

but Miles' Oprah interview went really well,

interview miles oprah

↓

and he's about to get his own show on her network.

network

↓

- Don't care.

care

↓

I'll just pop one of these Advil PMs

↓

and go to sleep.

sleep

↓

Let's see if we can make today...

today

↓

become tomorrow.

become tomorrow

↓

- You said, "There's no greater pick me up

greater pick

↓

than taking down someone who's wronged you,"

wronged

↓

but now you're just gonna sit there and do nothing?

↓

- Yep.

↓

- All right, what is one quality that Miles has

miles quality

↓

that Mr. Griffin doesn't?

griffin

↓

He's British.

british

↓

Which means he can get deported.

deported

↓

And what's the number one reason people get deported?

deported number reason

↓

Exotic animal smuggling.

animal exotic smuggling

↓

All we have to do is get illegal exotic animals,

animals exotic illegal

↓

put them in his house, call the feds,

house

↓

and, boom, he's deported.

boom deported

↓

- Where would you get the animals?

animals

↓

- Yo, my sketchy neighbor breeds snakes.

neighbor sketchy snakes

↓

Yeah, he's always trying to sell his python eggs.

eggs python sell

↓

- Hmm.

↓

You know...

↓

guys, there could be something to this.

↓

Give me that.

↓

While we're on takedowns.

↓

I'm putting that Stanford dean on the list.

dean list putting stanford

↓

Fricking hyena.

fricking

↓

- Oh, if we're making a list,

list

↓

can we put my karate teacher on it?

karate teacher

↓

- He laughed

laughed

↓

when I fell doing my roundhouse kick.

fell kick roundhouse

↓

- Guy does sound sucky.

sound sucky

↓

- The dictator at CVS

dictator

↓

won't let me buy more than seven lighters.

seven

↓

- Sure, let's get him. He's toast.

toast

↓

Oh, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, this should go without saying,

↓

but, uh, we're back to being a no-bio zone.

zone

↓

Why don't you go ahead and toss that puppy in here, Sarika.

ahead go-ahead puppy sarika toss

↓

Let's go.

↓

Yep. There we go.

↓

Yeah.

↓

All right, now we're cooking. What else we got?

cooking

↓

- My grandpa insists on cutting my hair.

cutting grandpa hair

↓

- Oh, that's no good.

↓

- My dentist is making me get braces,

braces dentist

↓

but I don't think I need them.

↓

Keep 'em coming. Who else?

coming

↓

- Coach Novak for making me do pushups.

coach coach-novak novak

↓

- The lunch lady with the beard.

beard lady lunch

↓

- Denzel Washington, but also just to meet him.

meet washington

↓

- Denzel. - The kid in the cafeteria

cafeteria

↓

who keeps flicking my nipples.

keeps nipples

↓

- ♪ Breakin' rocks in the hot sun ♪

breakin rocks

↓

♪ I fought the law and the law won ♪

fought