♥ Saved GIFs

Loading…

View all favorites →

Home » The Audacity » S01E05 — Lamplighters

The Audacity

Season 1, Episode 5 — Lamplighters

TMDB episode metadata

Show: The Audacity

Episode title: Lamplighters

Air date: May 10, 2026

Director: Daniel Gray Longino

Top billed cast: Billy Magnussen, Meaghan Rath, Zach Galifianakis, Lucy Punch, Simon Helberg, Sarah Goldberg

HyperG's salvation is close, but there's danger to Duncan. Lili has a secret. JoAnne hopes garlic can save her. Anushka finds gold at the end of the slide, but a witness to Easter Island threatens to destroy her. Beatrice cuts a deal with the Tang.

Source: TMDB

↓

- In a few days, Carl Bardolph is set to invest

bardolph carl carl-bardolph days invest

↓

$300 million in Hyper-G.

hyper million

↓

- Alvin died. - The landlord?

alvin died landlord

↓

Who owns our house now?

house owns

↓

- You could pay all cash. We give it to you at listing.

cash listing

↓

You've been running a magnificent scam

magnificent running scam

↓

on all your billionaire clients.

billionaire clients

↓

Now you're gonna dish all that dirt to me.

dirt dish

↓

- Beautiful house, Duncan. - It was Hamish's.

duncan house

↓

We co-founded Fah-fa. He hanged himself.

founded

↓

- Call Nena. Put the rumors to bed.

nena rumors

↓

- You seem riddled with guilt.

guilt riddled

↓

- Shut up!

↓

Hello, Nena.

nena

↓

I'm calling to set the record straight on Hypergnosis.

calling hypergnosis record record-straight straight

↓

[soft dramatic music]

dramatic dramatic-music music soft soft-dramatic soft-dramatic-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- You should see the other guy.

↓

- [chuckles]

chuckles

↓

- No, really.

↓

I took everything from him.

↓

[breathes deeply] Hmm.

breathes breathes-deeply deeply

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Good morning.

morning

↓

Morning. Hi. Morning.

morning

↓

Hey, guy.

↓

Hey, buddy.

buddy

↓

Why does your desk have a patina of, like,

desk

↓

crumbs and disrespect?

crumbs disrespect

↓

[blows]

blows

↓

Hi.

↓

Hey, I need you to get it together today.

today

↓

It's Bardolph Day.

bardolph

↓

Carl Bardolph is on his way.

bardolph carl carl-bardolph

↓

And what are you gonna say to a man like him, huh?

↓

- Uh-- - Nothing!

↓

Nothing. You're an NPC.

↓

- I am an N-- - No, no, no. Don't.

↓

NPCs don't talk.

↓

Especially not when Bardolph's here, okay?

bardolphs especially

↓

- Didn't he, like, invent spam?

invent spam

↓

- Excuse me?

excuse

↓

You are not fit to wipe the ass

wipe

↓

of the guy who wipes Bardolph's ass.

bardolphs wipes

↓

And no, he didn't invent spam.

invent spam

↓

He made the platform which made it insanely profitable.

insanely platform profitable

↓

[laughs]

laughs

↓

Yes, Bardolph invented the future, gnome!

bardolph future gnome invented

↓

Yeah. Yes.

↓

Hey, bright, smiley faces today!

bright faces smiley today

↓

Yes! Yes. [applause]

applause

↓

[singer vocalizing dramatically]

singer vocalizing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[applause]

applause

↓

Clean this up.

clean

↓

♪ ♪

↓

There's still some crumbs.

crumbs

↓

Hi.

↓

Take photos.

photos

↓

Hey, Carl.

carl

↓

Carl, Carl, Carl, welcome.

carl carl-carl welcome

↓

Hey.

↓

- Is that makeup?

makeup

↓

Can I get some of that? - [laughs]

laughs

↓

Did you see where Smote closed last night?

closed night smote

↓

Up 17%. I hope you took that bet.

hope

↓

And don't forget to short it, then long it.

forget short

↓

- Are you gonna tell me how you did it?

↓

- Oh, look at you, beseeching me already--

↓

and nonviolently.

↓

I like that. I like this new you.

↓

We'll show you everything once we settle on board seats.

board seats settle

↓

Okay?

↓

- Yes, on that, uh,

↓

my main man here, uh, Stan--good man.

main stan

↓

You met him last time.

↓

What do you think about one seat for me

seat

↓

and one for my number two here?

number

↓

- You let him call you that?

↓

[chuckles] How about four?

chuckles four

↓

We'll just do a whole dinner set.

dinner whole

↓

- Two is appropriate.

appropriate

↓

- Oh, you'd really feel better with two,

↓

but I would not.

↓

But your enthusiasm for what we do

enthusiasm

↓

in the area of predictive making a fuck ton is noted.

area fuck noted predictive

↓

- Perhaps we should, um,

perhaps

↓

hold off on the pictures while we figure this out.

figure pictures

↓

We still have some questions.

questions

↓

[tense music]

music tense tense-music

↓

- Do we still?

↓

Then to the Duncan Den.

duncan

↓

Follow me.

follow

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Sit, sit, sit.

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

Can I get you a yerba mate?

mate

↓

How about a nitro tea? Huh? - Nope.

nope

↓

How about 300 million for two seats

million seats

↓

and a 200% premium for half your voting shares?

half premium shares voting

↓

Founder's Class.

class founders

↓

- Nope, not giving up my Class A.

class giving nope

↓

Enhanced voting rights are human rights, for me.

human rights voting

↓

But one seat for 300 with performance milestones

performance seat

↓

towards a second.

second

↓

- I think we are putting the cart

cart putting

↓

before the horseshit here. - [laughs]

laughs

↓

- How did you know about Orlando?

orlando

↓

Either that was some sort of trick or--

trick

↓

- No, it wasn't a trick at all.

trick

↓

- Then prove it.

prove

↓

- Like I said, once you're on board.

board

↓

- I could be on board a giga yacht right now,

board yacht

↓

sipping a 300-year-old cognac

sipping

↓

with an android Beverly D'Angelo.

beverly

↓

But I'm here.

↓

I just wanna look under the hood

hood

↓

before I buy the damn car.

↓

- Carl, Carl, Carl, you are a legend,

carl carl-carl legend

↓

a crotchety Jedi master.

jedi master

↓

And I want you inside too.

↓

I do.

↓

But, like, as a hunchbacked monk

↓

whispering into the king's ear,

kings whispering

↓

and of course, signaling to the streets

course streets

↓

that we are worth the investment.

investment worth

↓

- No, no, no, no.

↓

I have taken too much shrapnel

taken

↓

to be anybody's dancing bear.

anybodys bear dancing

↓

- Duncan. - Period!

duncan period

↓

- Duncan. - Yes.

duncan

↓

- Can--is it okay if Carl and I confab

carl

↓

on your couch over there?

couch

↓

- You're gonna get your number two

number

↓

all over my couch?

couch

↓

- That's funny.

funny

↓

- [chuckling]

chuckling

↓

Of course. Of course.

course

↓

[chuckles]

chuckles

↓

Give them room, guys. Yeah.

room

↓

- [inhales sharply]

inhales inhales-sharply sharply

↓

[tense music]

music tense tense-music

↓

- [mouthing words]

mouthing mouthing-words words

↓

- Gentlemen, we will be right back.

gentlemen

↓

What? - Nena Marx.

marx nena nena-marx

↓

- Did she die?

↓

"A source at Cupertino has confirmed

confirmed cupertino source

↓

"Hypergnosis is not being acquired by the tech giant.

acquired giant hypergnosis tech

↓

CEO Duncan Park was suspect of leaking news of the buyout."

duncan duncan-park leaking news park suspect

↓

[gasps]

gasps

↓

♪

↓

Uh, can you kill the internet?

internet kill

↓

- Kill the-- - Kill the internet!

internet kill

↓

- I can turn off the Wi-Fi?

↓

- Just--yeah.

↓

- For a second there, I thought you were a unicorn.

second unicorn

↓

Turns out, you're just a jackass

jackass turns

↓

with a dildo taped to his head.

dildo head taped

↓

- This is just static, Carl.

carl static

↓

A reporter just trying to stir the pot, you know.

reporter stir

↓

You know and I know what Wall Street doesn't, okay?

street wall

↓

I mean, the--the algo, the predictive algo?

algo predictive

↓

Orlando?

orlando

↓

How much money do you make, huh?

money

↓

- Tim, hi.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Well, listen, you're a piece of shit too.

piece

↓

Uh-huh.

↓

Yeah, I heard.

heard

↓

Is it true?

↓

Meeting didn't even happen.

happen meeting

↓

Dead in less than an hour.

dead hour less

↓

Okay, thank you and eat me.

↓

- Cupertino Tim? Really?

cupertino

↓

You hate him.

hate

↓

He's lying!

lying

↓

He--Carl, okay, two seats!

carl seats

↓

Two seats! Okay!

seats

↓

You're twisting my arm here.

twisting

↓

What--what's our stock at now?

stock

↓

Huh? What's the price?

price

↓

- Down 10%.

↓

- Then jump on in.

jump

↓

Jump on in.

jump

↓

Grab the glory.

glory grab

↓

You know, stop that slide.

slide

↓

- You know, it all sounds a little bit too spry

sounds

↓

for a hunchback monk like me.

↓

- Listen. - Right?

↓

- Listen, I--I am sorry.

↓

I am sorry. You are Superman.

superman

↓

I'm--I'm Lois Lane, okay?

lane lois

↓

So how about you fly around the world, you know,

world

↓

turn back time, kiss me back to life?

kiss life

↓

I--you know, I--

↓

I am--I am--what am I doing?

↓

[whispering] I am begging.

begging whispering

↓

I am begging.

begging

↓

- [sniffing]

sniffing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[snorts] Oh, yeah.

snorts

↓

It's been a while since I smelled man blood.

blood smelled

↓

Nummy, nummy.

↓

- [laughs] - Nice.

laughs

↓

Stan, where's it at now?

stan

↓

- Same buy-in gets us 17% of the company.

company

↓

Oh, hold on.

↓

It's refreshing.

refreshing

↓

Nope, 18%.

nope

↓

- Listen, you--

↓

you go down this route, you get nothing.

route

↓

You lose me permanently.

lose permanently

↓

- 19%.

↓

- [breathing shakily] Nine--

breathing breathing-shakily nine shakily

↓

- Hold on.

↓

20.7%.

↓

- Ooh, that's a nice slice of beef right there.

beef slice

↓

- But Duncan only owns 20%.

duncan owns

↓

- Who's Duncan?

duncan

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Duncan, um...

duncan

↓

that's my phone.

phone

↓

- 20.9%.

↓

- Okay, buy.

↓

And, uh, okay, bye!

↓

[door opens, closes]

closes door door-opens door-opens-closes opens opens-closes

↓

[birds chirping]

birds birds-chirping chirping

↓

[click, blender whirring] - Oh!

blender click whirring

↓

Must you?

must

↓

[whirring]

whirring

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

Good morning, Xander.

morning xander

↓

[chiming]

chiming

↓

Hey.

↓

What are you doing back there?

↓

- Oh, hello, Martin.

martin

↓

I--I messed up.

messed

↓

- What's that on your forehead, buddy?

buddy forehead

↓

Come closer.

closer

↓

- I'm sorry.

↓

I'll get rid of it.

↓

- Is that a bruise or--

bruise

↓

- I may have had an accident playing with the haptics.

accident playing

↓

Stupid me.

stupid

↓

My fault, my fault, my fault, my fault--

fault

↓

- Xander, stop that.

xander

↓

Nothing's your fault.

fault nothings

↓

Now, let's get to the bottom of this, okay?

bottom

↓

- There is no bottom, Martin.

bottom martin

↓

You can always go lower.

lower

↓

[poignant music]

music poignant poignant-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Build it, break it.

break build

↓

You build it. You break it.

break build

↓

You build it. You break it.

break build

↓

You build it. You break it.

break build

↓

Fuck!

fuck

↓

- [singing in French]

french singing

↓

[somber music playing]

music music-playing playing somber somber-music somber-music-playing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Jesus.

jesus

↓

Nothing happier?

happier

↓

[music stops]

music music-stops stops

↓

[pensive music]

music pensive pensive-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[singer vocalizing]

singer vocalizing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Microwave, 1-inch slit until... [mumbling]

inch microwave mumbling slit

↓

Okay.

↓

[sniffles]

sniffles

↓

How do you not have a microwave?

microwave

↓

No wonder you killed yourself.

killed wonder

↓

God.

↓

I can't even order anything.

order

↓

I can't--

↓

[sobs]

sobs

↓

[wailing]

wailing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

What's so wrong with the internet?

internet

↓

Huh?

↓

It made us a lot of money.

money

↓

It made us a lot, a lot of money.

money

↓

Oh, you--oh, you're ashamed.

ashamed

↓

You're ashamed. God.

ashamed

↓

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

↓

Well, you don't know shame!

shame

↓

You were the brains, right?

brains

↓

The brains.

brains

↓

Well, try being the face!

face

↓

Oh, God, I have to do it.

↓

Fuck!

fuck

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Um...

↓

[speaking Spanish]

spanish speaking speaking-spanish

↓

Over there.

↓

Sí.

↓

Merci, guys.

merci

↓

- Lili.

lili

↓

- Bea-Bea. Aw.

↓

- [chuckles] - What are you doing here?

chuckles

↓

Thelma, some iced tea-- hibiscus.

iced thelma

↓

- Sure. - A little souvenir from Napa.

napa souvenir

↓

- Oh! Ooh.

↓

Thelma, corkscrew.

thelma

↓

[laughs]

laughs

↓

- I heard you've been posting on the neighborhood chat.

chat heard neighborhood posting

↓

- Right. - And you accused Pippa Tang

accused pippa pippa-tang tang

↓

of being an arsonist who burnt down your house.

burnt house

↓

- Yes.

↓

- She saw it.

↓

- People should know who their neighbors are.

neighbors

↓

Sigh, okay.

sigh

↓

The stadium's the absolute priority.

absolute priority

↓

I'll apologize.

apologize

↓

I will grovel.

↓

I will wear my knee pads.

knee knee-pads pads wear

↓

- No need to.

↓

I already spoke with her.

spoke

↓

And it went well.

↓

She's maintaining her commitment

commitment

↓

at the $40 million level.

level million

↓

So we'll announce it at the winter gala.

announce gala winter

↓

Looks like we're getting our stadium.

stadium

↓

- Until she burns it down.

burns

↓

I'm kidding.

kidding

↓

No, that's wonderful.

↓

That really is.

↓

It's really wonderful.

↓

No. Well done, Beatrice.

beatrice

↓

- Thank you.

↓

Uh, she did have one ask. - Mm.

↓

She wants you off the board.

board wants

↓

- [scoffs, laughs] What?

laughs scoffs

↓

Did she say that?

↓

- Mm. - Oh, my God.

↓

Ugh.

↓

I mean, I run that thing.

↓

- Mm.

↓

- Wait.

↓

- The others took a vote.

others vote

↓

- What?

↓

- Look, I'm sorry.

↓

But more time right now with the family

family

↓

could be good.

↓

- Sorry, was my family,

family

↓

or perhaps my husband's public lynching,

husbands perhaps public

↓

part of the conversation here?

conversation part

↓

- It was a wide-ranging conversation.

conversation wide

↓

- [singing in French]

french singing

↓

[melancholy music playing]

melancholy melancholy-music melancholy-music-playing music music-playing playing

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- [sniffling]

↓

[grunts]

grunts

↓

Sorry for what?

↓

Sorry for what?

↓

[doorbell rings]

doorbell doorbell-rings rings

↓

Hey. Jamison, what's up?

jamison

↓

How are you?

↓

- Wow.

↓

You look unwell.

↓

- I'm just in the middle of something right now.

middle

↓

So yeah, just tomorrow.

tomorrow

↓

Okay?

↓

- Or you could just come home.

home

↓

Mom's upset, said this house was haunted.

haunted house moms upset

↓

- Haunted?

haunted

↓

'Cause of Uncle Hamish? No.

hamish uncle

↓

That was--that was, like, five years ago.

five five-years years

↓

It's not like he's swinging away in there.

swinging

↓

So you, um...

↓

You know what happened with my company?

company happened

↓

- Yeah, some famous guy bought, like,

bought famous

↓

a controlling interest or something?

controlling interest

↓

- No, not quite controlling.

controlling

↓

And I still own most of it.

↓

Well, not quite most of it.

↓

It's just not ideal, you know.

ideal

↓

You really wanna own most of it, if you can.

↓

I know your mom's worried, right?

moms worried

↓

But neither--neither of you have anything to--

↓

you are my rich bitches.

bitches rich

↓

And I--I mean that like how, you know, gay men say it.

↓

Yeah.

↓

And when you have kids of your own,

kids

↓

they'll be little rich bitches

bitches rich

↓

and, well, four, maybe six-- probably not six--

four

↓

maybe three generations of rich bitches,

bitches generations rich three

↓

unless there's someone--

↓

someone had a gambling problem or there was, like,

gambling problem

↓

a populist uprising.

uprising

↓

But as--just so--

↓

as long as the stock is stable

stable stock

↓

and I haven't--

↓

I haven't checked on it in a bit.

checked

↓

Can you--can you go up to the street

street

↓

and just check ticker HGNO?

check ticker

↓

Yeah, no.

↓

[chuckles] I have a firewall.

chuckles

↓

I don't need your help.

↓

Yeah, Anushka, Tess's stepmom,

anushka

↓

she's on my board.

board

↓

And Uncle Gabe, my CFO--

gabe uncle

↓

he's not your actual uncle, thank fuck.

actual fuck uncle

↓

[chuckles] I--

chuckles

↓

I should check in on him.

check

↓

- Dad, you're, like, having a breakdown.

breakdown having

↓

- No need to get judgy with me, okay?

↓

You are the voice of, what, judginess now?

voice

↓

You--you stole my Tungsten cube.

cube stole

↓

- Oh, my God, I didn't take your stupid cube!

cube stupid

↓

- No, admit it! Admit it!

admit

↓

- What is it with you and this cube?

cube

↓

- Why are you trying to stick it to the man now?

stick

↓

Everyone's coming at me!

coming everyones

↓

- [breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

- [breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

[clicks tongue] Oh.

clicks clicks-tongue tongue

↓

[groans] Oh.

groans

↓

Hey, Jamie!

jamie

↓

Jamison!

jamison

↓

Hey!

↓

[sighs] God.

sighs

↓

[breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

You just--

↓

[phone buzzing, chiming]

buzzing chiming phone phone-buzzing

↓

[soft music]

music soft soft-music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- In today's episode, Hypergnosis.

episode hypergnosis todays

↓

When the laughter stops, will icon powerhouse

icon laughter stops

↓

Carl Bardolph be able to clean up

able bardolph carl carl-bardolph clean

↓

Duncan Park's mess?

duncan mess parks

↓

Park, a masterclass in how not to lead a company.

company lead park

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Gabe!

gabe

↓

Hey! Gabey baby, hey.

baby

↓

Um, can I come over?

↓

- 2.5 mil is a steal around here.

steal

↓

- No, yeah, I, um--

↓

I really appreciate the early viewing.

appreciate early viewing

↓

- Of course.

course

↓

You saved my ass in behavioral psych.

psych saved

↓

- [chuckles] It's probably not big enough

chuckles

↓

for offices for me and Gary.

gary offices

↓

- I forgot.

forgot

↓

You married Professor Felder.

felder married professor

↓

- [chuckles] Yeah.

chuckles

↓

He's, uh--no, yeah, I did.

↓

- Yeah, well, there's, like, offices you can rent

offices rent

↓

for, like, 175 an hour.

hour

↓

- That would be a huge pay cut.

huge

↓

I'm still paying off my degrees.

degrees paying

↓

Yeah, and Gary's got his alimony,

alimony

↓

and he stuck his parents in this money pit

money parents stuck

↓

of a nursing home.

home nursing nursing-home

↓

And then he had this tax penalty.

penalty

↓

And oh, my God, I just got a medical bill

bill medical

↓

that insurance won't cover because my son

cover insurance

↓

put dog shit in his stool sample.

sample stool

↓

- Oh, okay. Oh, okay. - So...

↓

- [exhales slowly]

exhales slowly

↓

- [breathing shakily]

breathing breathing-shakily shakily

↓

- You wanna get high?

↓

- Yeah.

↓

Didn't you have your own practice?

practice

↓

Mm-hmm.

↓

- Why'd you quit?

quit whyd

↓

- [sighs] Cancer.

cancer sighs

↓

- Oh, shit.

↓

- Girl, I'm great.

girl

↓

I'm all clear.

clear

↓

I make my own schedule.

schedule

↓

I don't have to listen to those tech bros

bros tech

↓

whine about their third homes.

homes third whine

↓

[inhales deeply] Okay, forget money.

deeply forget inhales inhales-deeply money

↓

Where do you want to be?

↓

- I don't know.

↓

Maybe somewhere I could watch a sunrise, you know?

sunrise watch

↓

Nothing, nobody in my way.

nobody

↓

[chuckles]

chuckles

↓

- You should move to Gilroy.

↓

Grow your own weed, get yourself some chickens.

chickens grow weed

↓

- [chuckles]

chuckles

↓

- I gotta ask, what's Professor Felder's dick like?

dick professor

↓

- [laughing]

laughing

↓

[pensive music]

music pensive pensive-music

↓

♪

↓

- Human females dig offerings.

females human

↓

Men used to hunt and bring back mammoth flesh.

bring flesh hunt used

↓

This is how it is and how it always should be.

↓

What are you gonna do, not give your

↓

female counterpart an offering?

female offering

↓

- Um, hey, we need to see the nutritionist lady.

lady nutritionist

↓

I'm running out of the stuff.

running stuff

↓

- Mm, yeah.

↓

You know, Orson, I think she's the kind of person

orson person

↓

who would give you magic beans for a heart attack, you know?

attack beans heart heart-attack magic

↓

- But it's working, so.

working

↓

It just feels like the dumb part of my brain

brain dumb feels part

↓

is telling the smart part to just shut up.

part smart telling

↓

It's a little disconcerting,

↓

but my problems are, like, gone now.

gone problems

↓

Like, they're all--all gone, and I'm feeling so much better.

feeling gone

↓

[door closes] - Hello.

closes door door-closes

↓

- Hello.

↓

- [sighs] Oh, my boys.

boys sighs

↓

- Hmm.

↓

- Orson, are you eating chili?

chili eating orson

↓

- Mm-hmm.

↓

- Wow, it smells good. - Mm.

smells

↓

Orson was just saying how much better he feels.

feels orson

↓

Also, he joined the orchestra at school.

joined orchestra school

↓

- Hey, that's great!

↓

Wow, Orson.

orson

↓

How--how much better?

↓

- Like, basically, all the way better.

↓

It's great.

↓

- Oh, my gosh.

gosh

↓

Antibiotics are so-- you know what I mean?

antibiotics

↓

They just work. - Mm.

↓

- No. No, they do not.

↓

They definitely didn't.

↓

- Okay.

↓

They didn't work.

↓

- No.

↓

They were awful.

awful

↓

- [scoffs] okay, well, clearly, evidence they helped.

evidence helped scoffs

↓

- Oh.

↓

- Actually, I stopped taking them a while ago...

stopped

↓

- [sighs] - So...

sighs

↓

- Why?

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

- $2,000?

↓

And right when we need every penny?

penny

↓

- I know. - And behind my back!

behind

↓

He's my son.

↓

- Yeah, and he's crying out for some male nurturing,

crying male nurturing

↓

and he's under my roof!

roof

↓

What am I supposed to do, JoAnne?

joanne supposed

↓

- Not your roof, Gary.

gary roof

↓

Rented roof. - Yeah.

rented roof

↓

Not the point.

point

↓

[muffled melancholy music playing]

melancholy melancholy-music melancholy-music-playing muffled music music-playing playing

↓

[knocking]

knocking

↓

- It's Lili.

lili

↓

Duncan!

duncan

↓

I know you're in there.

↓

The Hummer's in the driveway.

driveway

↓

♪ ♪

↓

I can hear the music!

music

↓

- [singing in French]

french singing

↓

♪

↓

Duncan, this has been very hard for me too.

duncan hard

↓

We are married!

married

↓

I don't care if you hate me.

care hate

↓

You have to talk to me till one of us dies.

dies till

↓

That's the deal.

deal

↓

Otherwise...[sighs]

otherwise sighs

↓

What good are we?

↓

Duncan!

duncan

↓

Bastard.

bastard

↓

Bastard!

bastard

↓

♪ ♪

↓

Duncan!

duncan

↓

Duncan?

duncan

↓

Duncan!

duncan

↓

What the hell?

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

[thud]

thud

↓

[water running]

running water

↓

[water stops]

stops water

↓

[somber music]

music somber somber-music

↓

♪

↓

[crying]

crying

↓

[sobs]

sobs

↓

[rotors thrumming]

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Too many moons, buddy!

buddy moons

↓

- I can't do physical contact.

contact physical

↓

- What?

↓

- Dopamine fasting. Gotta purify.

dopamine fasting

↓

Dopamine is the last addiction.

addiction dopamine

↓

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

↓

You gotta keep the neurotransmitters

↓

high and tight.

tight

↓

- Yep.

↓

We got a lot to talk about.

↓

- Yeah, we sure do.

↓

[birds squawking]

birds squawking

↓

- I think you got the right idea here.

idea

↓

You know, take your winnings and live away from it all.

live winnings

↓

Yeah, just--

↓

- That why you came?

↓

- Yeah.

↓

What do you mean?

↓

- You always have an angle.

angle

↓

- I--I needed a break

break needed

↓

with a friend, oldest and dearest.

dearest friend oldest

↓

To be honest, I'm a little bummed

bummed honest

↓

you're doing this cleanse thing.

cleanse

↓

I was looking forward to doing

forward looking looking-forward

↓

some toad licking and frog smoking.

frog licking smoking toad

↓

Last time I was here, remember?

remember

↓

You were doing the GambleSlut jubilee.

↓

God, you just sold your stake, and you--you were feral.

sold stake

↓

Just ah, ah! [laughs]

laughs

↓

Wow.

↓

- It's sluts, plural.

sluts

↓

GambleSlut is an accusation.

accusation

↓

Sluts is an invitation.

invitation sluts

↓

- Well, I left feeling like one.

feeling left

↓

[chuckles]

chuckles

↓

- We gotta be stronger than that now, Duncan.

duncan stronger

↓

Societal change, perhaps collapse, is upon us,

change collapse perhaps

↓

and sooner than you think,

sooner

↓

and sooner than the people who think it's soon think.

sooner

↓

- Yeah.

↓

Maybe. Yeah, yeah.

↓

- There used to be men who lit the streetlamps,

used

↓

every night walking around the cobblestones

night walking

↓

with a big pole of fire.

fire pole

↓

You'd even know the guy.

↓

Evening, Doug. Lighting the lamps?

doug evening lamps lighting

↓

You betcha, friend.

betcha friend

↓

What would we do without you?

↓

And then Edison came up with his bright idea,

bright idea

↓

and it's, whatever happened to Doug?

doug happened

↓

Dollars to donuts, Doug couldn't hack it

dollars donuts doug hack

↓

in the new frontier.

↓

Maybe Doug found his wife banging the Maytag man

banging doug found wife

↓

and grabbed the third rail of the new downtown express.

downtown express grabbed third

↓

Or maybe Doug picked up his old lighting pole

doug lighting picked pole

↓

and started smashing his neighbors' windows,

neighbors smashing started windows

↓

screaming about a revolution that his great-grandkids

grandkids revolution screaming

↓

will finish any day now when they get replaced by AI bots.

finish replaced

↓

Either way, men like you and me,

↓

we gotta duck when shit fucks the fan.

duck fucks

↓

Get an island, get some guns, and go long on guillotines.

guns island

↓

- I missed you, man.

missed

↓

- Even if you don't have the bone mass,

bone mass

↓

these jaw exercises will open up the sutures of your skull.

exercises open skull sutures

↓

Now, obviously, the decadent females of the West

females obviously west

↓

are too busy riding the cock carousel

busy cock riding

↓

to take a chance on a beta with a negative canthal tilt,

beta chance negative tilt

↓

but that's where I come in.

↓

- What the hell are you watching?

watching

↓

Was that some-- some fascist incel shit?

fascist

↓

Orson, who is sending you videos about cocks

cocks orson sending videos

↓

and--and--and skull tilts?

skull

↓

- Canthal tilt is eyes, I think.

eyes tilt

↓

And it's not fascist to know anatomy.

anatomy fascist

↓

- Yes, it is.

↓

That's their whole thing.

whole

↓

Okay, look, I--I--

↓

I came to invite you.

invite

↓

Gary and I are gonna do a quick day trip to the country.

country gary quick trip

↓

And now, I think, yeah, no, not an invitation--mandatory.

invitation mandatory

↓

We are gonna go pick some apples or something, okay?

apples pick

↓

And that's all there is to it.

↓

Why can't you just watch video games?

games video video-games watch

↓

[door slams]

door door-slams slams

↓

- Ugh.

↓

Can you not touch me, please?

touch

↓

[chiming]

chiming

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

I'm going in late.

late

↓

Didn't sleep a wink.

sleep wink

↓

- Xander is behaving strangely.

behaving strangely xander

↓

He generated a couch to hide behind.

behind couch hide hide-behind

↓

- I just--

↓

Nena and that article.

article nena

↓

Everyone at Cupertino thinks it was me,

cupertino thinks

↓

and I'm just covering my ass.

covering

↓

- Wasn't it you?

↓

- Yes, but--

↓

can you take the goggles off, please?

goggles

↓

I need a sympathetic ear right now.

sympathetic

↓

My motives were to clear the air, to help Cupertino.

clear cupertino

↓

But fat chance anyone gives me an ounce of bloody credit.

bloody chance credit gives ounce

↓

- Like, I just can't win. - No. No.

↓

- I'm sorry, but-- - No.

↓

- Xander. - No, no, no, no, no.

xander

↓

- Xander.

xander

↓

What's wrong? - I'm sorry.

↓

- I'm sorry. - Don't talk to the robot.

robot

↓

Martin, I'm your wife.

martin wife

↓

I'm speaking to you!

speaking

↓

- I think it's you, maybe your voice.

voice

↓

- I broke the tablet.

broke tablet

↓

- I really don't need this right now, Martin.

martin

↓

- My fault. - Xander.

fault xander

↓

- Not hers. Not hers.

↓

- Did you have an accident? - I'm sorry.

accident

↓

I'm bad. I'll clean it.

clean

↓

- Uh, I think you should go.

↓

- How could he wee himself, Martin?

martin

↓

He's pixels! - Just dots!

dots

↓

- Could you leave, please? - Stupid dots!

dots stupid

↓

- Right, so you care about the Tamagotchi's feelings,

care feelings

↓

but not mine? - Damn it! Leave!

↓

Go to work!

↓

And leave me to mine!

↓

[indistinct chatter]

chatter indistinct indistinct-chatter

↓

[soft tense music]

music soft tense tense-music

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

- Some people just have very punchable faces.

faces

↓

Duncan Park has a soul like that.

duncan duncan-park park soul

↓

I just--I just wanna crush him.

crush

↓

I--I do.

↓

Is that gay?

↓

Well, aren't you gay?

↓

I mean, the way he took down Orlando Lee

orlando

↓

with that big blue dolphin dick--

blue dick dolphin

↓

whack, whack!

whack

↓

Hey, he just doesn't quit, that guy.

quit

↓

He just doesn't quit.

quit

↓

He just keeps coming back,

coming keeps keeps-coming

↓

until he ran away, leaving me with this--

leaving

↓

this nugget, this prophecy.

nugget

↓

[sighs]

sighs

↓

Did you see where Smote rehired Orlando Lee?

orlando smote

↓

Just as Duncan foretold.

duncan foretold

↓

How much money have we made off that?

money

↓

- After the last short and bump,

bump short

↓

it's up 21 million and change.

change million

↓

Wanna hire him back?

hire

↓

Maybe make him an employee this time--

employee

↓

paycheck, smaller office.

office paycheck smaller

↓

Humble him. Dominate.

dominate humble

↓

- A guy like that, he would never do that, ever.

↓

I would have to make him partner.

partner

↓

I just wanna crush him.

crush

↓

And I can't crush him if I can't find him.

crush

↓

- Carl, you have other holdings

carl

↓

that you haven't even paid any attention to.

attention paid

↓

- Yeah, I know that.

↓

It's because I'm allergic to tedium, Stan.

allergic stan

↓

Obviously, you're not. - Mr. Bardolph?

bardolph obviously

↓

- Yes? - Hi.

↓

- Hi.

↓

- So I accessed the carrier portal

portal

↓

and found a signal location.

found location signal

↓

The satellite handshake gave him away.

handshake satellite

↓

- English, pronoun.

english

↓

Please.

↓

Did you find him?

↓

- Duncan was actually gonna double my stock options

double duncan options stock

↓

at the next performance review.

performance review

↓

So care to review my performance?

care performance review

↓

- Well, aren't you the little operator?

operator

↓

- Have you ever met our CFO, Gabe?

gabe

↓

[soft ethereal music]

ethereal music soft

↓

♪ ♪

↓

[phone buzzing]

buzzing phone phone-buzzing

↓

- Hello?

↓

[phone buzzing]

buzzing phone phone-buzzing

↓

- Where are you?

↓

- The wilderness.

wilderness

↓

If I can't see the world, the world can't see me, right?

world

↓

That's how it works.

works

↓

- Sorry about the stock and everything.

stock

↓

- No, no.

↓

I am done, Nush.

nush

↓

Can't go back.

↓

I don't wanna go back.

↓

- Oh, come on, it's just a bit of bad press.

press

↓

- I'd rather have anything happen to me.

happen

↓

I'd rather have a deepfake of me French kissing my own mother

french kissing mother

↓

being passed around.

passed

↓

I bet Bardolph already has

bardolph

↓

a short list of replacement CEOs.

list replacement short

↓

- Well, I wouldn't know.

↓

As you recall, I resigned from the board.

board recall

↓

[pensive music]

music pensive pensive-music

↓

- What?

↓

[stammering] When?

stammering

↓

- I sent you a registered letter, which you signed.

letter registered sent signed

↓

- I--I need you on the board!

board

↓

I need that vote!

vote

↓

- You still have Gabe's.

↓

- Yeah, even with Gabe's, Bardolph and I are deadlocked,

bardolph

↓

and then he'll find a way to tilt the balance.

balance tilt

↓

I--I--[scoffs] Why the hell would you resign?

resign scoffs

↓

- I asked you to do one thing for me, and you never did.

asked

↓

You said you'd call Nena, clear my name.

clear name nena

↓

Then you had sex with me, and you never called her.

called

↓

So I called her.

called

↓

I called her.

called

↓

- You?

↓

[tense music]

music tense tense-music

↓

You did this?

↓

You stabbed me in the back of my heart?

heart stabbed

↓

- Sorry, but when it's your job on the line,

line

↓

it's a crisis of infinite magnitude.

crisis infinite magnitude

↓

But when it's mine, you can't be arsed.

↓

- No, that's not-- why would you--

↓

- Goodbye, Dunky.

goodbye

↓

- No. No!

↓

[line beeping]

beeping line

↓

No, Anu--God.

↓

Oh, God, no!

↓

God!

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

[groaning, yelling] Shit!

groaning yelling

↓

God!

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

I mean, do you think we could actually do this?

↓

I mean, we could afford it.

afford

↓

- Yeah, I mean, I always wanted to watch the sun rise

rise wanted watch

↓

over fields of wildflowers.

fields

↓

I just always thought it would be

↓

from the veranda of our architecturally significant

significant

↓

second home.

home second

↓

- [laughs] Yeah.

laughs

↓

Yeah.

↓

- Living in the bubble, right?

bubble living

↓

[chuckles]

chuckles

↓

- Well, I love it.

love

↓

- You do? - Mm-hmm.

↓

I love that it was your idea.

idea love

↓

And I hate the people in Palo Alto.

hate

↓

I do. I hate them.

hate

↓

I know everybody deserves therapy,

deserves everybody therapy

↓

but that has to apply to the folks

apply folks

↓

that live out here, too, right?

live

↓

Whoever they are.

↓

It's less money for us, maybe.

less money

↓

So we're not surrounded by world beaters,

surrounded world

↓

but, you know, as far as neighbors and friends go,

friends neighbors

↓

the world beaters suck.

suck world

↓

So maybe we just make peace with enough.

peace

↓

[chicken clucking]

chicken clucking

↓

[clears throat] Hey, Orson.

clears clears-throat orson throat

↓

Orson.

orson

↓

Talk to your mom. She might have some news.

might news

↓

Come here, buddy.

buddy

↓

- What?

↓

What's the news?

news

↓

- News?

news

↓

Uh, well, Gary and I are talking about--you know,

gary

↓

and nothing is set in stone, but possibly to move here.

possibly stone

↓

- When?

↓

- I suppose soon, real soon.

real suppose

↓

- You--I just started settling in,

settling started

↓

and you wanna send me to live on a farm?

farm live send

↓

I can finally freakin' eat like a normal person,

finally freakin normal normal-person person

↓

and you won't pay for my medicine!

medicine

↓

Maybe you like me better sick and feeble.

feeble sick

↓

- What?

↓

How could you possibly think that?

possibly

↓

- I know you did something bad.

↓

[tense music]

music tense tense-music

↓

If you wanna run away from whatever shit you pulled,

pulled

↓

that's fine.

↓

But you're not gonna cuck me

cuck

↓

into living in fucking garlic town!

fucking garlic living town

↓

I should make you give me the $2,000.

↓

And if I were a fascist, trust me, I would.

fascist trust

↓

But I don't need you, you selfish bi--

selfish

↓

woman!

woman

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- Okay.

↓

Are we ready to pick some apples?

apples pick ready

↓

- No.

↓

We're going back.

↓

[engine turns over]

engine turns

↓

- Hey, Gabe!

gabe

↓

Did I see you letting the sun shine where it don't normally?

letting normally shine

↓

- Yeah, it's called perineum sunning.

called

↓

It increases testosterone production,

increases production testosterone

↓

root chakra optimization, and--

root

↓

- And I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try it.

↓

It's a great idea.

idea

↓

You have so many great ideas.

ideas

↓

Here's mine.

↓

Bardolph is gonna try to fire me.

bardolph fire

↓

We go back to HQ, right?

↓

We instigate the staff to walk out.

staff walk

↓

We ride in. We rile them up.

ride

↓

A proper uprising.

proper uprising

↓

Gattica! Gattica!

↓

And then we say to Bardolph,

bardolph

↓

hey, hey, you're gonna fire me?

fire

↓

You're gonna have to fire everyone!

fire

↓

[panting]

panting

↓

- Your one move--

↓

talking people into doing shit

↓

that's not good for anyone but you.

↓

This is why you came, right?

↓

Ensure my loyalty?

ensure loyalty

↓

- Possibly your perspective while living here

living perspective possibly

↓

on a freakin' island has skewed you

freakin island

↓

a little towards the paranoid.

paranoid

↓

I'm just saying, there used to be GambleSluts

used

↓

in bikinis out there.

↓

Now there are armed guards.

armed guards

↓

That's not progress, Gabe.

gabe progress

↓

- This is what you did to Hamish.

hamish

↓

You would stroke his ego and then steal his confidence

confidence steal stroke

↓

over and over and over.

↓

- Yeah. You motivate.

motivate

↓

You criticize. It's called leadership.

called criticize leadership

↓

I'm sorry, someone had to be the McCartney in the band.

band mccartney

↓

Who else was gonna do it?

↓

I mean...[laughs] Hamish?

hamish laughs

↓

You?

↓

You wanna take the reins?

↓

Go swing your sun-kissed balls around?

balls kissed swing

↓

Show everyone that your root chakra is optimized?

root

↓

I--I would love--

love

↓

I would love to see you try.

love

↓

- It's too late now.

late

↓

- Well, not for me.

↓

Not for me.

↓

Call me a helicopter.

helicopter

↓

I'm going to go save what is ours.

save

↓

- Oh, okay.

↓

So you're looking out for me too?

looking

↓

- Yes! Yes! - Okay.

↓

Well, then tell me, why has my dearest,

dearest

↓

closest friend still not mentioned the predictive algo

algo closest friend mentioned predictive

↓

he's sitting on?

sitting

↓

- Wait.

↓

How--

↓

Did you talk to Bardolph?

bardolph

↓

[helicopter rotors thrumming]

helicopter

↓

[tense music]

music tense tense-music

↓

Oh, God.

↓

♪ ♪

↓

How could you?

↓

- No, no, no, I don't wanna hear shit about betrayal.

betrayal

↓

That's not the narrative here.

narrative

↓

You abandoned me.

abandoned

↓

- Fuck, Gabe.

fuck gabe

↓

Gabe, what did you do?

gabe

↓

Carl!

carl

↓

And I thought I was the one stalking you the whole time.

stalking whole

↓

- I'm not here for you.

↓

I came to speak to Gabe Choi.

gabe speak

↓

- Carl.

carl

↓

- Oh, you'll touch him?

touch

↓

- This is my XO, Stan Dibbs.

stan

↓

- Hey, Stan. - How you doing?

stan

↓

- What is that? What--what is that?

↓

- A tender offer.

offer tender

↓

15% above market for Gabe's voting shares.

market shares voting

↓

- No. Hey, hey, hey. No, no, no, no. You just--

↓

- No. - You can't do that now.

↓

- I never wanted to be CFO.

wanted

↓

I took the job for Hamish. - He was dead!

dead hamish

↓

I asked you, and you never even did the job.

asked

↓

- Okay, well, I'm done. Okay? I'm out.

↓

And for what it's worth, I'm giving some of this money

giving money worth

↓

to Francis and James.

francis james

↓

I think they're still in Wichita.

↓

- Who is Francis and James?

francis james

↓

- Hamish's parents, asshole.

asshole parents

↓

- I--I will fix this.

↓

I will make you whole. okay?

whole

↓

But wait.

↓

- Oh, wait, like with Fah-fa?

↓

- No.

↓

Ha--Hamish wanted to wait, not me.

hamish wanted

↓

- No, you thought it was a movement,

movement

↓

and it was a startup.

↓

And you talked Hamish out of selling.

hamish selling talked

↓

We could have all been billionaires.

↓

It practically killed him.

killed practically

↓

Who knows? Maybe it did.

knows

↓

- I've got to admit it, Stan.

admit stan

↓

Watching this man eat shit may be the only justice

justice watching

↓

this world has to offer.

offer world

↓

- You are a twisted prick, aren't you?

prick twisted

↓

You could have faxed that agreement here.

agreement

↓

Why are you here?

↓

It is because you wanted to see me, isn't it?

wanted

↓

- Always about him.

↓

- It is. What do you wanna know?

↓

What do you wanna know?

↓

How I predicted Orlando?

orlando predicted

↓

- No. I understand.

↓

If I was that lucky, I would want people

lucky

↓

to think I was a genius too.

genius

↓

- It wasn't luck.

luck

↓

- Yeah, I'm not comfortable with the word

comfortable word

↓

"irrevocable" ever. - So it was an algo?

algo

↓

Did Hamish write it? - We can change that.

change hamish write

↓

"Binding," maybe?

binding

↓

- Or that pink-haired whatnot.

haired pink whatnot

↓

Did she come up with it?

↓

- It was an oracle.

oracle

↓

I have an oracle.

oracle

↓

- Bullshit. Bullshit.

bullshit

↓

And I don't care, really.

care

↓

I don't.

↓

- Carl, I would have told you everything.

carl

↓

All you had to do was be my partner.

partner

↓

But no.

↓

No, you're a hungry, hungry hippo,

hippo hungry

↓

and you had to snap it all up.

snap

↓

But you didn't think it all the way through.

↓

Nope.

nope

↓

Because I walked.

walked

↓

And now you got a ship with no captain.

captain ship

↓

And I think you like me a little.

↓

I do.

↓

You liked my pitch.

liked pitch

↓

10 million data points on every person from birth.

birth data million person points

↓

But then, under my leadership,

leadership

↓

Gnodin could have made it to 20 million.

gnodin million

↓

And at that point, you're not predicting behavior,

behavior point

↓

you're steering it.

steering

↓

That's why you wanted my company.

company wanted

↓

You wanted to feel like God with a hard-on, didn't you?

hard wanted

↓

- What's defeasance?

↓

- If it weren't for that article--

article

↓

the source of which was

source

↓

an ex-special friend of mine that I neglected.

friend neglected special special-friend

↓

Yeah, so you reap.

↓

You sow.

↓

- Was it true?

↓

- Yeah, it was. So what?

↓

If that hit piece didn't come out, if I had my company,

company piece

↓

you would be on a yacht right now.

yacht

↓

Your board seat would be secure.

board seat secure

↓

The stock would be 50 points higher.

higher points stock

↓

My best friend wouldn't be backstabbing me right now.

backstabbing best best-friend friend

↓

- Best friends. Only in the K-hole.

best best-friends friends hole

↓

- [stammering] Gabe, please tell me

gabe stammering

↓

you're gonna have a lawyer look at that.

lawyer

↓

- Oh, gee. Thank you.

↓

What, you think I'm a dingus?

↓

Oh, and Carl, soon to be none of my business,

business carl

↓

but you do not want this guy running your company.

company running

↓

- Oh, don't worry. This man gets nothing.

worry

↓

- Why? Why? - Because you're selfish!

selfish

↓

And because you ruined my breakfast.

breakfast ruined

↓

- Yeah, he is selfish, and he's not a good guy.

selfish

↓

- Says the man who made money off incels

money

↓

betting on which girl at the orgy gets gangbanged?

betting girl orgy

↓

Really? And you!

↓

Spam?

spam

↓

Fucking spam.

fucking spam

↓

I bet right now, there is a Nigerian prince

prince

↓

just cutting you a royalty check!

check cutting royalty

↓

- How much are you worth, son?

worth

↓

- Oh, I--

↓

Hamish and I were just trying to build a community!

build community hamish

↓

And I'm the bad guy?

↓

People exchanged candles and kayaks

candles

↓

and shit and then people--

↓

people fell in love on Fah-fa.

fell love

↓

- Never heard of it. - Yeah, bullshit!

bullshit heard

↓

Bullshit!

bullshit

↓

You don't stop thinking about me.

thinking

↓

You came here to find a way to lure me back.

lure

↓

But the problem is, you don't know how to lure!

lure problem

↓

Only destroy!

destroy

↓

[soft tense music]

music soft tense tense-music

↓

God.

↓

I'm not gonna sit around for this circle jerk.

circle jerk

↓

God!

↓

And, Carl, I'm taking your helicopter.

carl helicopter

↓

Oh, Gabe, hey, thanks for the hospitality.

gabe hospitality thanks

↓

Love you, man. Mm!

love

↓

- Get the fuck off me!

fuck

↓

- Yeah!

↓

- In our own time. Eventually.

eventually

↓

- Hey! Hey!

↓

Hey, hey. Turn it on!

↓

Turn it on!

↓

[sighs] Yeah, he said it was fine.

sighs

↓

He said you can take the chopper.

chopper

↓

It's fine.

↓

- Gabe, you have a chopper we can borrow?

borrow chopper gabe

↓

- Of course.

course

↓

[whirring]

whirring

↓

- And who is his special friend?

friend special special-friend

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- What if I pay you back?

↓

I'll get a job, I promise.

promise

↓

- [sighs] - But that stuff, without it,

sighs stuff

↓

I'll just go back to the way I was.

↓

And I cannot do that.

cannot

↓

So please-- - No. I get it.

↓

I get it.

↓

I had, when I was your age, zits, migraines, and man boobs.

boobs

↓

I mean, the man boobs maybe have come back a little bit.

boobs

↓

[chuckling]

chuckling

↓

No, but we do need to respect your mom on this.

respect

↓

She said no.

↓

And also, I can't really recommend something unregulated

recommend

↓

from somebody who spells "science" with a Y.

science somebody

↓

We can do better.

↓

But I promise you,

promise

↓

if insurance covers it, I'll help you.

covers insurance

↓

[beeping]

beeping

↓

- Mm.

↓

I spent an hour this morning meditating

hour morning spent

↓

on the terrors that teens face.

face teens terrors

↓

I mean, even if you make it through high school

school

↓

without a shooting, then what?

shooting

↓

Right? Like, AI, it is a poison weed

poison weed

↓

that is choking your generation.

choking generation

↓

I mean, there's not an image or a sound

image sound

↓

you can trust in the whole world.

trust whole whole-world world

↓

And the Earth, it's on fire.

earth fire

↓

I mean, it's no wonder that you feel like

wonder

↓

someone is clear-cutting your gut biome, right?

clear cutting

↓

[chiming] Oh! Approved.

approved chiming

↓

Hmm. Oh.

↓

- Thank you.

↓

- Oh, shit.

↓

[knocking]

knocking

↓

- It's your old friend.

friend

↓

Don't wanna burst in uninvited.

burst uninvited

↓

You know, respect your boundaries.

boundaries respect

↓

Hello.

↓

- Shit!

↓

- Hey, listen, I have a treat for you.

treat

↓

Hear me out.

↓

Very--hey! Whoa!

whoa

↓

Whoa! Whoa!

whoa whoa-whoa

↓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Put that down!

whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

- Leave, Duncan!

duncan

↓

Breaking and entering again?

breaking entering

↓

- Come on! Just stop for a second!

second

↓

- You're leaving now.

leaving

↓

- Five-minute truce.

five five-minute minute truce

↓

Five-minute truce, okay?

five five-minute minute truce

↓

I'll be--come on, Jojo!

jojo

↓

Our kids go to school together!

kids school

↓

- I'm not putting it down until you get out.

putting

↓

- Really? Come on!

↓

You're not gonna shoot me, Jojo!

jojo shoot

↓

You gonna shoot me?

shoot

↓

I got fired!

fired

↓

I did. I lost my company.

company lost

↓

I lost my friends.

friends lost

↓

All you can do is hurt my physical form.

form hurt physical

↓

The rest is gone.

gone rest

↓

So go!

↓

[panting]

panting

↓

Thank you. Thank you.

↓

I'm okay. Thanks for asking.

asking thanks

↓

- [scoffs]

scoffs

↓

- And I'm gonna get it all back.

↓

I have been on a journey.

journey

↓

I really have been.

↓

Did you read about me?

read

↓

You did. Of course you did.

course

↓

Of course you did.

course

↓

I went looking for truth.

looking truth

↓

And all signs point to you.

point signs

↓

- Duncan.

duncan

↓

No. - No, no, no. Please, JoAnne.

joanne

↓

Don't be sad. Listen.

↓

Listen.

↓

You are my oracle.

oracle

↓

And I have an offering.

offering

↓

[curious music]

curious music

↓

♪ ♪

↓

- $1.2 million?

million

↓

- Yeah, Hamish--remember him?

hamish remember

↓

My old--my old partner, you know?

partner

↓

Anyway, he left a little money for my daughter's college fund.

college daughters fund left money

↓

Sweet, right?

sweet

↓

So--and I took that and used it to invest in your Smote thing.

invest smote used

↓

And now--now it's a million and change.

change million

↓

And it's yours.

↓

- It's--what?

↓

- It's yours.

↓

I--well, I did take half of it.

half

↓

I do have to pay Jamie back.

jamie

↓

But the rest of it, it is yours.

rest

↓

You deserve it.

deserve

↓

It's bulletproof, VPN'd, invisible, on the dark web.

bulletproof dark invisible

↓

No one can hear you profit.

profit

↓

- Uh--no.

↓

Duncan, I--I--

duncan

↓

I can't take your money.

money

↓

I--I don't want it.

↓

- You earned it!

earned

↓

You did.

↓

You have a gift.

gift

↓

You really do.

↓

It went down like you said.

↓

Orlando? They turfed him.

orlando turfed

↓

Stock went up, stock went down, and they brought him back.

brought stock

↓

- It was insider trading.

insider insider-trading trading

↓

Orlando's closest advisor was my patient.

advisor closest patient

↓

Anybody with even a little insight

anybody insight

↓

who had the same information I had

information

↓

could have figured it out too.

figured

↓

- But they didn't.

↓

And--and, like, even if they did,

↓

genius is not about figuring out the solution.

figuring genius solution

↓

It's about being unhinged enough to do

↓

something outrageous with it.

outrageous

↓

That's you. You did that.

↓

And you--you deserve to be rewarded.

deserve rewarded

↓

This--this has been my mistake from the very beginning.

beginning mistake

↓

I mean, you give, and you give,

↓

and all I do--I do is take.

↓

That's...[breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

That's my bad.

↓

I should never have blackmailed you.

blackmailed

↓

Never.

↓

It should have always been a bribe.

bribe

↓

Will you be my bribe?

bribe

↓

♪

↓

- [snoring]

snoring

↓

[door opening]

door door-opening opening

↓

- Shoot straight, you bastards!

bastards shoot straight

↓

[sighs] Carl Bardolph.

bardolph carl carl-bardolph sighs

↓

Thanks for coming in.

coming thanks

↓

- Anushka Bhattachera, obviously.

anushka anushka-bhattachera bhattachera obviously

↓

I've heard so much about you.

heard

↓

- Mm.

↓

- Mostly appalling, of course.

course mostly

↓

- Oh, from big Tim? - Mm.

↓

- He's a good man, if you're in the market

market

↓

for bullshit and a pair of Allbirds.

bullshit pair

↓

- [chuckles]

chuckles

↓

Why don't you tell me what I'm doing here?

↓

- Well, you know the CFO, former CFO.

former

↓

What's his name?

name

↓

Gabe? - Unfortunately.

gabe unfortunately

↓

- He sold me his shares.

shares sold

↓

And there it is.

↓

It's mine.

↓

So just trying to think what to do with this place, and...

place

↓

knowing you're on the board--

board knowing

↓

- I'm not anymore.

anymore

↓

- No, I read your letter.

letter read

↓

You made some good points, identified the rot.

points

↓

- You read it? - Yeah.

read

↓

It was just sitting on Duncan's desk.

desk duncans sitting

↓

You're a smart cookie.

cookie smart

↓

I'd hate to see what Tim has you doing.

hate

↓

His laundry?

laundry

↓

- Chief ethicist.

chief

↓

- [gasps]

gasps

↓

Ethicist Barbie.

barbie

↓

Fancy title, and all the power of an overpaid schoolmarm too.

fancy power title

↓

What a waste.

waste

↓

How would you like to be interim CEO?

↓

You know the company. You're not a wrecking ball.

ball company wrecking wrecking-ball

↓

You're trying to do something.

↓

Plus, Tim would hate it!

hate plus

↓

Duncan Park would too, I feel sure.

duncan duncan-park park

↓

I--

↓

well, I'm flattered.

flattered

↓

But I'd have to take a leave of absence from Cupertino,

absence cupertino

↓

and it could derail my career.

career derail

↓

- Or you could bet on yourself.

↓

- Well, data isn't my area of expertise.

area data expertise

↓

I mean, I have opinions, strong ones.

ones opinions strong

↓

Okay, let me ask you.

↓

Could you imagine using your algo

algo imagine using

↓

to spot people in crisis, communities in need,

crisis spot

↓

and actually help them?

↓

- Well, that sounds like some of the things we talked about

sounds talked

↓

when we first started making this sausage, yes.

sausage started

↓

- But you never did.

↓

[chuckles] And you never will.

chuckles

↓

"Profit uber alles."

alles profit uber

↓

- Look, there are about 20 dudes in the Valley

dudes valley

↓

that make as much or more than me.

↓

And we all come to the same fork in the road.

fork road

↓

Do we want humanitarian legacy, or do we want planetary reach?

legacy reach

↓

Do we wanna save the world or control it?

control save world

↓

Heal or conquer?

conquer heal

↓

Well, both have their charms, but I will tell you this.

charms

↓

Most of us go Dr. Evil.

evil

↓

I used to love the Valley, but I hate what it's become.

become hate love used valley

↓

I hate it.

hate

↓

We've broken and disrupted everything,

broken

↓

and now there's nothing else to break.

break

↓

And now they wanna upload consciousness

consciousness

↓

so guys like me can live forever, disrupting death?

death forever live live-forever

↓

Well, fuck you.

fuck

↓

Death disrupts us!

death

↓

Our limited time is why we try hard

hard limited

↓

to do anything worthwhile.

worthwhile

↓

There's a shelf life. Then it's over.

life shelf

↓

Blue screen, done.

blue screen

↓

[soft music]

music soft soft-music

↓

So convince me, Anushka.

anushka convince

↓

Prove to me that the best way for me

best prove

↓

to spend my money and the rest of the time that I have left

left money rest spend

↓

is to build a legacy of good.

build legacy

↓

♪

↓

- It's been over a week.

week

↓

No, not a missing person, just an absent husband and father.

absent father husband missing person

↓

He just walked out.

walked

↓

Well, I'm not completely without fault myself, so...

completely fault

↓

Yes, more than he knows, and I wanna keep it that way.

knows

↓

It's not about the money.

money

↓

That said, if it comes to it, I will want the house.

comes house

↓

[thud in distance]

distance thud

↓

Where the hell have you been?

↓

- I'm so sorry. - Where were you?

↓

- I'm sorry. - Were you with her?

↓

- I'm sorry. Who?

↓

Anushka? No, no, no.

anushka

↓

God, no. - Were you with someone else?

↓

- No.

↓

I--I was all alone.

alone

↓

All alone.

alone

↓

Except you were there.

except

↓

You were there, and Jamie.

jamie

↓

[breathing heavily]

breathing breathing-heavily heavily

↓

You are my best friend.

best best-friend friend

↓

You always were.

↓

And you're the only one I can trust against these jackals.

trust

↓

I need you.

↓

I need you standing...

standing

↓

- [sighs]

sighs

↓

- Behind me, next to me, in front of me.

behind front

↓

Wherever--

↓

wherever it's safest for me.

safest

↓

- Baby?

baby

↓

- Yeah, baby?

baby

↓

Yes, baby? - I'm sorry.

baby

↓

- No, I'm--

↓

I'm sorry.

↓

I am sorry.

↓

- I want a divorce.

divorce

↓

♪

↓

-Cut 'em to ribbons, boys.

boys ribbons

↓

[Screaming]

screaming

↓

-Hey, maybe we can, um, try to fix things.

↓

-I can't have another abusive situation in my house.

abusive another house situation

↓

-We're gonna be okay.

↓

[Muffled scream]

muffled scream

↓

-Privacy has value.

privacy value

↓

An unmined motherlode of value.

value

↓

I'm a bad man.

↓

♪♪

↓

-Action. -You should see the other guy.

action

↓

-[Chuckles softly] -No, really.

chuckles chuckles-softly softly

↓

Can you give me some lift?

lift

↓

♪♪

↓

-In Episode 5, we really see the manifestation

episode

↓

of Duncan's fear of humiliation

duncans fear humiliation

↓

that he states at the very beginning of the show.

beginning states

↓

-What's our stock at now, huh? What's the price?

price stock

↓

-Down 10%. 20.7%.

↓

-But Duncan only owns 20.

duncan owns

↓

-Who's Duncan?

duncan

↓

♪

↓

-We see that feeling of wanting to crawl away from the situation

crawl feeling situation wanting

↓

as quickly as possible.

possible quickly

↓

-Okay. Bye.

↓

Okay! Bye!

↓

♪♪

↓

-We know that he has this dumb house,

dumb house

↓

a place he can go where there is no Internet,

internet place

↓

there's no Wi-Fi.

↓

And I've always imagined him getting there

imagined

↓

and the first five minutes being...

five five-minutes minutes

↓

[ Exhales deeply ] "I can relax here."

deeply exhales relax

↓

-What's so wrong with the Internet?

internet

↓

It made us a lot of money. Made us a lot -- a lot of money.

money

↓

-Again and again, he tries to relax

relax tries

↓

into being on some kind of sabbatical from his life.

life

↓

And again and again, it doesn't work.

↓

-[Groaning]

groaning

↓

-We learn also in this episode,

episode learn

↓

when Lili comes to the dumb house...

comes dumb house lili

↓

♪

↓

-Duncan!

duncan

↓

-...this relationship between Lili and Hamish

hamish lili relationship

↓

was much more complicated and, I think it's safe to say,

complicated safe

↓

romantic and perhaps was behind Hamish's choices in the end.

behind choices perhaps romantic

↓

♪♪

↓

There's a picture in the dumb house.

dumb house picture

↓

One of them is Duncan -- and his struggles are known to us --

duncan known struggles

↓

the other one is Hamish, who decided to end his life,

decided hamish life

↓

and the other one is Gabe,

gabe

↓

who decided to isolate himself entirely from the world

decided entirely world

↓

and live on an island,

island live

↓

take his winnings and go be alone.

alone winnings

↓

Gabe was played brilliantly by Randall Park.

brilliantly gabe park played randall

↓

-Too many moons, buddy!

buddy moons

↓

-I can't do physical contact. -What...

contact physical

↓

-Uh, dopamine fasting. Got to purify.

dopamine fasting

↓

-This is all very much based on real-life scenarios

based life real real-life scenarios

↓

with some of these guys at this level of wealth.

level wealth

↓

You really haven't quite made your nut

↓

until you've got a compound you can escape to

compound escape

↓

when the shit hits the fan. -Did you talk to Bardolph?

bardolph hits

↓

-Now! -[ Helicopter whirring ]

helicopter whirring

↓

-Duncan goes there, I think genuinely,

duncan genuinely

↓

to try to have a retreat from the reality

reality retreat

↓

that he left behind with Bardolph.

bardolph behind left left-behind

↓

But also he's got an agenda,

agenda

↓

and Gabe can spot it immediately.

gabe immediately spot

↓

-W-What is that? -A tender offer.

offer tender

↓

-Fifteen percent above market for Gabe's voting shares.

fifteen market percent shares voting

↓

-No. No, no. You can't do... -No.

↓

I never wanted to be CFO. I took the job for Hamish.

hamish wanted

↓

-You are a twisted prick. You know that?

prick twisted

↓

-Cut. -Cut.

↓

-Orson was just saying how much better he feels.

feels orson

↓

-Antibiotics are so -- You know what I mean?

antibiotics

↓

-Actually, I stopped taking them a while ago, so...

stopped

↓

-I think in Episode 5,

episode

↓

a subtitle could be "The Kids Are Not All Right."

kids

↓

Orson is starting to take medicine

medicine orson starting

↓

that's changing his behavior,

behavior changing

↓

a mysterious proprietary blend from the nutritionist.

blend mysterious nutritionist proprietary

↓

You see that heartbreaking scene between Jamison and Duncan,

duncan jamison scene

↓

where she so wants him to be a better dad

wants

↓

and he's just not capable of it.

capable

↓

And you see Xander trying to recover

recover xander

↓

from essentially virtual,

essentially virtual

↓

but as far as Xander's concerned,

concerned xanders

↓

physical abuse at the hands of his stepmother.

abuse hands physical

↓

-I'm sorry. I'm bad. I'll clean it.

clean

↓

-How could he wee himself, Martin?

martin

↓

He's pixels! -Leave! Go to work!

↓

And leave me to mine!

↓

-Anushka is also Tessa's stepmother.

anushka

↓

And so "the kids are not all right"

kids

↓

is a really interesting way to look at not just this episode,

episode interesting

↓

but I think overall in this show, the stakes are the kids.

kids overall stakes

↓

They are the ones who are the most targeted

ones

↓

in terms of the social-media stuff.

media social social-media stuff terms

↓

Also, do these kids have in them --

kids

↓

and even Xander in a sense --

sense xander

↓

the desire and ability to make things better?

ability desire

↓

And do they have a voice in the future?

future voice

↓

-Nothing's your fault.

fault nothings

↓

Let's get to the bottom of this.

bottom

↓

-There is no bottom, Martin. You can always go lower.

bottom lower martin

↓

♪

↓

♪

↓

[dramatic music]

dramatic dramatic-music music

↓

♪ ♪