Home » The Boys » S04E02 — Life Among the Septics

The Boys

Season 4, Episode 2 — Life Among the Septics

[♪ The Notorious B.I.G.: "Hypnotize"]

#1

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♪ Come on ♪

#2

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♪ Ha, sicker than your average ♪

#3

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♪ Poppa twist cabbage off instinct ♪

#4

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♪ Don't think shit stink, pink gators ♪

#5

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♪ My Detroit players ♪

#6

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♪ Timbs for my hooligans in Brooklyn, that's right ♪

#7

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♪ Dead right, if the head right ♪

#8

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♪ Biggie there e'ry night ♪

#9

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♪ Poppa been smooth since days of Underoos...

#10

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Hey, yo, Reggie! Re-up.

#11

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♪ Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see? ♪

#12

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♪ Sometimes your words just hypnotize me ♪

#13

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-♪ And I just love your flashy ways ♪ -Shit.

#14

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♪ Guess that's why they broke and you're so paid ♪

#15

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♪ Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see ♪♪

#16

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I thought you were too sick to practice.

#17

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Done with all that, Coach.

#18

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When's the last time you had a decent meal?

#19

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Come on.

#20

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Mary's always happy to have you at the table.

#21

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-Nothing you say is gonna change my mind. -Damn it, Reggie.

#22

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You're the most talented superhero I've ever seen.

#23

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Yet you're... you're throwing it all away

#24

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slinging yayo for gangbangers?

#25

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You don't know me, Coach. You don't know nothin'.

#26

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I know you've got heart.

#27

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I know you want more than this.

#28

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You've got a choice, son.

#29

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Either outrun this life,

#30

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or you can run yourself into an early grave.

#31

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Now, please. It's me, Coach Brink.

#32

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Come back with me.

#33

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To the suburbs.

#34

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Yeah, what I want doesn't matter.

#35

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I'll never be free of these streets.

#36

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[Bourke] Cut! Holy fuck.

#37

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Holy fuck, we're not gonna beat that.

#38

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That was fucking perfect. We're going again.

#39

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-I don't... -Ferrell fucking Streep.

#40

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There are tears.

#41

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Literal tears.

#42

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Who's happy they spent two weekends

#43

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at the Compton Youth Center now, huh?

#44

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I'm not giving off too much of a Blind Side vibe, am I?

#45

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[Bourke] As if that's a bad thing?

#46

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Are you-- Wait, what is that smell?

#47

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Will everyone stop?

#48

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What is that smell?!

#49

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[sniffs] Is it... Is that you?

#50

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I had falafel for lunch.

#51

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-[sniffs] -What?

#52

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I smell an Oscar nomination.

#53

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Shut up, man.

#54

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-[Bourke] No, I won't. -[Ferrell] Don't jinx it.

#55

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You can't jinx gold. Look at me.

#56

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You better make some shelf space, De Niro. Do you hear me?

#57

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All right, let's get you back to one, huh?

#58

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-I'm gonna watch playbacks, okay? -Absolutely.

#59

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Yeah, let's get him some cans, please? Thank you.

#60

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One more quick thing.

#61

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Let's sidebar here a little bit.

#62

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It feels like you're having a little bit of trouble

#63

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getting out of the starters' block.

#64

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Maybe it's the scene.

#65

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Baby, this scene sings. All right, look at me.

#66

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In the arc of your character, this is your low point, right?

#67

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Everybody's given up on you, you're all alone,

#68

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until the coach--

#69

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Swoops in and saves me from the ghetto?

#70

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No, no, no, you actually save each other.

#71

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It's a very balanced narrative.

#72

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All the sensitivity readers that we hired, they all agreed.

#73

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-My brother was the only coach I ever had. -Right.

#74

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He was a waiter at Buster Beaver,

#75

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not a fucking crack dealer.

#76

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And he must be so proud of you right now.

#77

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Let's get this train back on the tracks.

#78

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-Just give me a minute. -Yeah, sure.

#79

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Wait, wait, you know what? One more tiny little thing.

#80

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You said what I want "doesn't matter."

#81

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But as scripted, it's actually

#82

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what I want "don't matter," okay?

#83

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All right, good stuff.

#84

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All right, everybody, let's get back to one!

#85

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I want to make this fucking day!

#86

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Hey, can we talk?

#87

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You don't talk. It's like your one thing.

#88

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Look, playing Noir has been a meaningful challenge,

#89

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but yesterday was wack as fuck.

#90

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I've never actually murdered anyone before.

#91

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Does Homelander make us kill people, like, a lot?

#92

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And when he does, do we just... do it?

#93

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Look, don't get me wrong, I am stoked to be here

#94

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and I am down to ride the wave. I'm just having trouble

#95

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with Noir's motivation, you feel me?

#96

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His motivation is being a braindead maniac.

#97

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Just keep your mouth shut

#98

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and do as you're fucking told.

#99

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[trailer door closes]

#100

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[Cameron over TV] Violence in our blood-splattered streets

#101

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against decent, hardworking Americans.

#102

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Folks, if you're thinking of letting your children

#103

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play carefree outside and without supervision,

#104

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think again.

#105

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I mean, these two animals,

#106

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Benny Long and Ian Rashford,

#107

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savagely beat three good men to death

#108

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outside the courthouse yesterday.

#109

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The Starlighters have shown their true colors, folks,

#110

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rioting at multiple quote-unquote "peaceful demonstrations"

#111

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across the country.

#112

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I, for one, do not take our liberties

#113

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in this great country for granted.

#114

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But apparently the Starlighters feel differently.

#115

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[Daphne] Let's see. Soy for pH,

#116

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hyaluronic acid for deep moisturizing

#117

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-and arginine for circulation. -What is all that?

#118

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Um, I'm a Voughtality consultant.

#119

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5K away from the red, white and blue Caddy.

#120

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I thought it might be helpful.

#121

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You... You work for Vought?

#122

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Voughtality. "For a Super You."

#123

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You know Vought killed my girlfriend, right?

#124

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I'm literally fighting them right now.

#125

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I think I have rosemary oil,

#126

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it's really good for the joints.

#127

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Can you just-- Can you stop please? Just for--

#128

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-Please stop. Mom, stop. Just stop. -Okay, I'm sor--

#129

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Okay, sorry, sorry. Just, um...

#130

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[breathes deeply]

#131

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I'm sorry. [chuckles]

#132

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You look good.

#133

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Got tall. [chuckles]

#134

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Yeah, that adds up, since the last time you saw me

#135

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I was six fucking years old!

#136

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Please don't yell at me.

#137

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-What are you doing here? -The hospital called.

#138

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Yeah, when they couldn't reach me.

#139

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And I'm here now, so...

#140

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He doesn't need you. Neither of us do.

#141

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Your dad didn't tell you. [sighs]

#142

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Shit.

#143

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About what?

#144

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He gave me power of attorney, including medical decisions.

#145

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And he signed a DNR.

#146

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H-He didn't update his will?

#147

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He did.

#148

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Why the fuck would he give you power of attorney over me?

#149

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Well, I mean, we've been talking,

#150

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the last year or two, now and then.

#151

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Besides that, you'd have to ask him.

#152

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But Hughie, don't worry,

#153

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-I am really good in a crisis. -Don't.

#154

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And I-I-I can handle this.

#155

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I promise.

#156

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You promise.

#157

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Hughie...

#158

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Wait.

#159

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[sighs]

#160

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[train rattling on tracks]

#161

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You leave the money on the dresser?

#162

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[grunts]

#163

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I didn't want to wake you up.

#164

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[groans]

#165

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Hey.

#166

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Yeah, maybe you should stay in bed today, no?

#167

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Yeah...

#168

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[sighs]

#169

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Could've been a lot worse.

#170

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I mean, it would've been a lot worse if you weren't there.

#171

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Thank you.

#172

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[chuckles]

#173

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-[phone chimes] -Oh.

#174

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Starlight.

#175

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Work.

#176

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[door opens]

#177

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[Katrin] Your speech therapist Gloria

#178

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has filled me in on the work you've been doing.

#179

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How's that been going?

#180

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You know, psychological mutism

#181

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is often a symptom of trauma in one's past.

#182

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What do you think about that?

#183

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I couldn't agree more.

#184

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But sometimes you have to confront your past

#185

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in order to be free of it.

#186

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Okay.

#187

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Why don't we start with something simple?

#188

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Tell me about your parents. [gasps]

#189

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[Muzak plays]

#190

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[Hughie] Jesus.

#191

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You're just telling us now?

#192

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Have you seen any specialists, have you, um...

#193

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So how long you got?

#194

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It's none of your fucking business.

#195

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-I'm not sure why I'm telling you at all. -What's going on?

#196

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Let's just say I got an angel on my shoulder.

#197

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And she's a right bloody nag.

#198

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Butcher, I tried to warn you that that shit was poison.

#199

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You ain't one of us.

#200

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-Hey! -All right!

#201

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A word.

#202

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You're done.

#203

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-What? -Fired.

#204

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Grab your shit and get the fuck out.

#205

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I level with you lot and this is the thanks I get.

#206

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Fuck me.

#207

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-See what being honest gets you? -Honest?

#208

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Motherfucker, you've been lying to us for the last six months.

#209

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Not telling ain't lying.

#210

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Look, you need all the help you can get, mate.

#211

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Not from you. You're a liability, Butcher.

#212

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I ain't gonna let this stand, then.

#213

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The Boys is mine.

#214

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Says a dying man with one last bluff.

#215

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Now grab your shit and get the fuck out.

#216

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Or I'll throw you out.

#217

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[soft creaking]

#218

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-Just... -I don't want to hear it.

#219

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He's out.

#220

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You can join him if you don't like it.

#221

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Small-town kid grows up on a Montana ranch with his mom.

#222

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On the surface, he's an everyday all-American boy.

#223

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But deep in his heart, he knows he's different, special.

#224

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He's always asking himself, "Who am I?"

#225

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Then one day that question is answered

#226

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when Homelander flies down from the sky

#227

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and says with tears in his eyes--

#228

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No tears.

#229

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--and says, proudly, "Son, it's time for you

#230

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to take your place by my side."

#231

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And for Ryan it feels surprising, yet inevitable.

#232

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He always knew he was destined for greatness.

#233

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Because he came from greatness.

#234

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[chuckling]

#235

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-Oh. -[Homelander] Wow.

#236

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Oh, buddy, can you believe that?

#237

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W-What do you think?

#238

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It's cool, I guess.

#239

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You guess? [chuckles]

#240

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[stammers] I think it looks amazing.

#241

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-Oh, so amazing. Really marketable. -So marketable.

#242

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The whole pitch blows.

#243

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It... does not blow.

#244

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It blows, harder than Nancy Reagan on the MGM backlot.

#245

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I'm sorry, why are you here?

#246

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Vought got rid of most of the sidekicks after Gunpowder.

#247

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The settlements exceeded profitability.

#248

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[Homelander] Yeah, but I don't think Ryan

#249

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is gonna file an HR complaint against me. [laughs]

#250

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-[laughter] -A what?

#251

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Ryan is the first natural-born superhero.

#252

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And his brand needs to reflect that.

#253

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He's not one of Vought's lab rat freaks.

#254

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He was chosen-- by fate, God, whatever--

#255

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to be the one who saves the world.

#256

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[Homelander] Yes.

#257

⇓

But let's not forget

#258

⇓

why he is special.

#259

⇓

Shall we?

#260

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He's my son.

#261

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Chosen by God, sure, but, uh...

#262

⇓

made by me.

#263

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The chosen one narrative only works if he stands alone.

#264

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Harry Potter. Neo. Luke Skywalker.

#265

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Hollywood's trained people to fall in love

#266

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with white boy lone saviors.

#267

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So, America will want to fall in love with Ryan.

#268

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What is this?

#269

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Uh, it's a crime itinerary.

#270

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Your first save. Congratulations, son.

#271

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[whispering] I'm not on the call sheet.

#272

⇓

You wanted a kingdom for your son.

#273

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I'm helping you get it.

#274

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-Excellent. -Mm.

#275

⇓

Just as we discussed.

#276

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Feel free to move forward.

#277

⇓

Thanks.

#278

⇓

Ah, if you don't mind?

#279

⇓

-[camera clicks] -Hmm.

#280

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I'm here because Homelander wants me here.

#281

⇓

Because he trusts me.

#282

⇓

[elevator chimes]

#283

⇓

[rapid footsteps approaching]

#284

⇓

[chimes]

#285

⇓

[doors close]

#286

⇓

[sighs]

#287

⇓

Listen.

#288

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I know you're the smartest woman on earth--

#289

⇓

Smartest person.

#290

⇓

Let me give you some advice.

#291

⇓

You know, girls supporting girls.

#292

⇓

You cannot talk to Homelander like that.

#293

⇓

I'm telling him the truth.

#294

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You're so afraid of him, you've plucked yourself bald.

#295

⇓

If I were you, I'd make myself useful.

#296

⇓

You know, get some lactation going,

#297

⇓

let him suck on those titties.

#298

⇓

Before you end up like Madelyn Stillwell.

#299

⇓

[chimes, doors open]

#300

⇓

Oh, Ashley, hey, what's up?

#301

⇓

Just the girl boss I wanted to see.

#302

⇓

I've been looking everywhere for you.

#303

⇓

Hey, so I heard that Ryan's doing his first solo save.

#304

⇓

I want to talk to you about something.

#305

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I have this idea.

#306

⇓

[clears throat] Okay, so, what if...

#307

⇓

and just hear me out on this,

#308

⇓

what if I was there?

#309

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That's it. That's the pitch.

#310

⇓

Hmm. You want to join a family-friendly PG save?

#311

⇓

While PETA still has you on their bestiality watchlist?

#312

⇓

I swear to God.

#313

⇓

Stupid people who think they're smart

#314

⇓

make me want to eat my own shit.

#315

⇓

Why do you let her talk to you like that?

#316

⇓

She's just a bitch.

#317

⇓

It's probably that time of the month.

#318

⇓

It's like a full moon thing, isn't it?

#319

⇓

You're a genetically superior being,

#320

⇓

and she's the evolutionary equivalent of a capybara.

#321

⇓

-Cappuccino...? -It's a giant rodent from South America.

#322

⇓

-Oh. -You're better than her.

#323

⇓

Act like it.

#324

⇓

-And you should be at the save. -[elevator chimes]

#325

⇓

-[doors open] -It's a good idea.

#326

⇓

Thank you.

#327

⇓

[doors close]

#328

⇓

[Mother's Milk] 1:16, Todd and the other Hometeamers

#329

⇓

are seen going into Planet Vought.

#330

⇓

And not seen again until...

#331

⇓

2:09, when their dead bodies magically appear at the rally.

#332

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Now, how do you think they got there without anybody seeing?

#333

⇓

A-Train. It had to be A-Train.

#334

⇓

You promise? Like you promised Dad for better or worse?

#335

⇓

We boring you, Hughie?

#336

⇓

Sorry. Sorry. I'm, um... [clears throat] I'm here.

#337

⇓

[Annie] But the Hometeamers died of blunt force trauma.

#338

⇓

Nothing said anything about super strength.

#339

⇓

[Mother's Milk] Because they're getting a lot better at covering their ass,

#340

⇓

probably because of her.

#341

⇓

Sister Sage. 32 years old, from Detroit, Michigan.

#342

⇓

She cut ties with Vought a while back,

#343

⇓

when they kicked her off of Teenage Kix.

#344

⇓

[Annie] What are her powers?

#345

⇓

Smartest person on the planet.

#346

⇓

I've already tapped Sage's cell phones.

#347

⇓

She made a reservation at the Vought Garden

#348

⇓

Suites & Courtyard Express in Harrisburg tonight.

#349

⇓

Who's down for a little road trip?

#350

⇓

You know what? I'm gonna stay here.

#351

⇓

If A-Train framed those two Starlighters,

#352

⇓

I'm gonna take a run at him.

#353

⇓

I-I'm gonna go with you.

#354

⇓

I got to stay close to my dad.

#355

⇓

Understood. All right. You two are with me.

#356

⇓

Aw, look, she made a cute little...

#357

⇓

penis and balls.

#358

⇓

-[grunts] -[whimpers]

#359

⇓

Hurry up, get the money.

#360

⇓

[neck snaps]

#361

⇓

[grunts]

#362

⇓

Lights out, you fucking muff taco.

#363

⇓

Get back!

#364

⇓

Noir.

#365

⇓

Back off.

#366

⇓

Hey, whoa, be cool, man.

#367

⇓

Noir, what are we supposed to do?

#368

⇓

-Let her go. -Out of my way, kid.

#369

⇓

It's gonna be okay.

#370

⇓

-Do you promise? -I promise.

#371

⇓

[grunts]

#372

⇓

Who are you?

#373

⇓

My name is Ryan. And I don't like bullies.

#374

⇓

It's good. Pretty good.

#375

⇓

It's getting better.

#376

⇓

Solid work, guys. Noir, your entrance,

#377

⇓

you're doing too much. Just walk in.

#378

⇓

Okay, but would Noir just enter stage right like that?

#379

⇓

I feel like it's more in character if I come in through the skylight.

#380

⇓

You don't fucking talk.

#381

⇓

-Sorry. -Still talking.

#382

⇓

Let's just stick to the blocking for now, okay?

#383

⇓

Deep, drop the "fucking muff taco,"

#384

⇓

this is for families.

#385

⇓

-Okay. -Ryan,

#386

⇓

on the day, you're gonna throw me for real.

#387

⇓

-I can take it. -Yeah.

#388

⇓

Let's take five and we'll run it back.

#389

⇓

-Great. -Okay.

#390

⇓

Thank you, Koy.

#391

⇓

-Dad? -Yeah.

#392

⇓

Did I look dumb?

#393

⇓

You really... You got to put your back into it.

#394

⇓

You know, like...

#395

⇓

You really got to sell it.

#396

⇓

You understand?

#397

⇓

Are all saves like this?

#398

⇓

Like, with stunt people and rehearsals and stuff?

#399

⇓

No, no, of course some of them are real.

#400

⇓

I-I've saved a lot of people.

#401

⇓

This is just to help you get your sea legs, all right?

#402

⇓

-Okay. -Yeah.

#403

⇓

Hey, Ryan. You want to rehearse the throw a few times?

#404

⇓

-Great idea. Yes! -Yeah. Sure.

#405

⇓

Yes. Excellent.

#406

⇓

Hey, so, um, just to be clear,

#407

⇓

we're not actually killing people on the day, am I right?

#408

⇓

Just shut the fuck up.

#409

⇓

[Koy] Just be real precise with your steps, you understand?

#410

⇓

You can't talk to me that way.

#411

⇓

I didn't say anything.

#412

⇓

I mean from before.

#413

⇓

Because I am the...

#414

⇓

I'm the peak of human evolution.

#415

⇓

And you're just, you're just a capabarnia.

#416

⇓

-It's a rodent from South America. -Oh.

#417

⇓

So you're fucking land mammals now?

#418

⇓

I am the lord of the seven seas.

#419

⇓

You talk to me like that again

#420

⇓

and I will drown you in your fucking toilet,

#421

⇓

you stupid bitch.

#422

⇓

After I've used it.

#423

⇓

Is that what you want?

#424

⇓

-No. -"Sir"!

#425

⇓

No, sir.

#426

⇓

That's right.

#427

⇓

-Let her go. -Out of my way, kid.

#428

⇓

That kid's face is made for the big screen.

#429

⇓

A complexion like butter. He's practically glowing.

#430

⇓

[Seth] Well, thank God. Air-brushing the wrinkles out

#431

⇓

of The Dawn of the Seven put VFX nine mil over the budget.

#432

⇓

We were neck fold to neck fold with Sex and the City 2.

#433

⇓

[exciting music plays]

#434

⇓

[engine turns off]

#435

⇓

[Muzak plays]

#436

⇓

Motherfucker.

#437

⇓

Oi, oi.

#438

⇓

Fancy some steam tray eggs?

#439

⇓

-How the fuck did you find us? -Come off it, mate.

#440

⇓

Your password's Janine2012.

#441

⇓

[Mother's Milk] I want you to put that shit down

#442

⇓

and get the fuck out of my operation.

#443

⇓

Well, it's lucky for me that you ain't my boss no more.

#444

⇓

And as a private and concerned citizen,

#445

⇓

I'm allowed to say fuck you to any deep state cunts

#446

⇓

that try and keep me from the truth.

#447

⇓

[busy chatter]

#448

⇓

Welcome to the monkey house.

#449

⇓

[♪ Talking Heads: "Burning Down the House"]

#450

⇓

♪ Watch out ♪

#451

⇓

♪ You might get what you're after ♪

#452

⇓

♪ Cool, babies ♪

#453

⇓

♪ Strange but not a stranger ♪

#454

⇓

♪ I'm an ordinary guy ♪

#455

⇓

♪ Burning down the house ♪

#456

⇓

♪ Hold tight ♪

#457

⇓

♪ Wait till the party's over ♪

#458

⇓

♪ Hold tight ♪

#459

⇓

♪ We're in for nasty weather ♪

#460

⇓

♪ There has got to be a way ♪

#461

⇓

♪ Burning down the house...

#462

⇓

Bunch of tinfoil-hat-wearing Nazi motherfuckers.

#463

⇓

Why is the world's smartest person in a place such as this?

#464

⇓

[dramatic music plays]

#465

⇓

[grunting]

#466

⇓

Oi. There's our girl.

#467

⇓

Where's Kimiko?

#468

⇓

[Muzak playing]

#469

⇓

[can pops]

#470

⇓

[gasping]

#471

⇓

♪ You can be what you wanna be ♪

#472

⇓

♪ In the land of the free ♪

#473

⇓

♪ Love America, love America ♪

#474

⇓

♪ Love America, love America ♪

#475

⇓

♪ If you want it to get better ♪

#476

⇓

♪ Open up your loving arms ♪

#477

⇓

[microphone feedback squeals]

#478

⇓

♪ Try to keep them safe from harm ♪

#479

⇓

♪ You can say what you want to say ♪

#480

⇓

♪ Because freedom is the only way...

#481

⇓

Splinter.

#482

⇓

Splinter, come here.

#483

⇓

Am I too shiny?

#484

⇓

You're good.

#485

⇓

You look perfect.

#486

⇓

♪ Love America...

#487

⇓

Best get a move on.

#488

⇓

The Flat-Earthers get the space at 4:30.

#489

⇓

Yes. Okay.

#490

⇓

-[microphone feedback squeals] -H-Hey, everybody.

#491

⇓

Um, so, our next speaker

#492

⇓

is not only a true visionary,

#493

⇓

she's also my close friend.

#494

⇓

So please join me in welcoming

#495

⇓

author, filmmaker, political activist,

#496

⇓

commentator and a leading voice

#497

⇓

of the alt-Supe movement on YouTube,

#498

⇓

Firecracker!

#499

⇓

[cheering]

#500

⇓

♪ USA...

#501

⇓

Well, howdy there, Truth Seekers.

#502

⇓

Hey!

#503

⇓

Hey there! Aw, well, thank you, thank you.

#504

⇓

-[cheering continues] -Whoo!

#505

⇓

-[man] Tell us some truth, Firecracker! -[Firecracker] Okay.

#506

⇓

I ain't gonna sugarcoat this.

#507

⇓

We got ourselves a national crisis.

#508

⇓

Homelander himself said Starlight traffics kids

#509

⇓

and her Starlighters just murdered three of our brothers

#510

⇓

yesterday to cover it up.

#511

⇓

They're killing us. Wake up.

#512

⇓

Over the next two hours,

#513

⇓

I will prove that Starlighter works with Oprah and Tom Hanks

#514

⇓

to set up a Satanic home delivery service.

#515

⇓

An order of a hot dog gets you a boy.

#516

⇓

-A taco, a girl. -[audience jeering]

#517

⇓

A combo gets you a child they forced to have trans surgery.

#518

⇓

And a soda gets you a shot of adrenochrome.

#519

⇓

-We all know that Oprah has been under house arrest -People actually believe this shit?

#520

⇓

-ever since she sat down with Harry and that monarchy-fucker -People will believe anything.

#521

⇓

-Meghan Markle. For those who say that the evidence -Even something as ludicrous as

#522

⇓

-the moon landing. -against Tom Hanks is less clear-cut, well,

#523

⇓

that's because the brave whistleblower who was gonna blow

#524

⇓

Forrest Gump's pedo ring wide open

#525

⇓

fell off a bridge before he got the chance.

#526

⇓

Frenchie. See what he's up to.

#527

⇓

-[Firecracker] Coincidence? -But do not engage.

#528

⇓

[Firecracker] Right.

#529

⇓

Ah, ah, ah.

#530

⇓

You're ain't leaving my sight.

#531

⇓

...of all of the Tom Hanks movies,

#532

⇓

you get 311, which is...

#533

⇓

the police code for child porn.

#534

⇓

It's just math!

#535

⇓

[busy chatter]

#536

⇓

[announcer over P.A.] Stormchasers United is starting in 20 minutes

#537

⇓

in conference room B.

#538

⇓

[intriguing music plays]

#539

⇓

[phone chimes]

#540

⇓

Hey, stop, no. Give it back.

#541

⇓

Stop being a pussy.

#542

⇓

Go get some of Colin's penis... or ass...

#543

⇓

Or maybe both?

#544

⇓

But go get it!

#545

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

#546

⇓

Are you drunk?

#547

⇓

I just had a beer.

#548

⇓

Four beers.

#549

⇓

What is wrong with you?

#550

⇓

Six beers.

#551

⇓

You're holding back with Colin because of me!

#552

⇓

What? No, it's...

#553

⇓

It's nothing to do with you.

#554

⇓

Well I fucked someone.

#555

⇓

Really?

#556

⇓

The barista at Jitter Bean.

#557

⇓

He stuck his penis right in my vagina.

#558

⇓

Okay.

#559

⇓

You should stick your penis somewhere!

#560

⇓

Mon coeur, truly, merci.

#561

⇓

But it's not about you, I swear.

#562

⇓

[announcer over P.A.] The Alex Jones look-alike contest is in...

#563

⇓

Can we go back to work now?

#564

⇓

Eight beers.

#565

⇓

[suspenseful music plays]

#566

⇓

What's that about?

#567

⇓

[muffled grunting]

#568

⇓

[grunting continues]

#569

⇓

[grunting]

#570

⇓

Mon Dieu.

#571

⇓

This isn't what it looks like.

#572

⇓

-[grunts] -[spitting]

#573

⇓

It's okay.

#574

⇓

[Hughie] Maybe your source at the Tower is fucking with you?

#575

⇓

[Annie] No, no, no, if she says A-Train shows up here

#576

⇓

every Sunday at 3:00 p.m.,

#577

⇓

he will.

#578

⇓

Yeah, you promise? Your promise is as worthless as you are.

#579

⇓

What?

#580

⇓

Sorry.

#581

⇓

Sorry, I was just, uh...

#582

⇓

workshopping what I should've said to my mom.

#583

⇓

You really don't have to be here, okay?

#584

⇓

You can go to the hospital, you should.

#585

⇓

No. No.

#586

⇓

No, nothing to do there except, uh...

#587

⇓

relive my childhood trauma.

#588

⇓

[newscaster] Tensions are high after the murder of the Homelander Three

#589

⇓

allegedly at the hands of two Starlight followers.

#590

⇓

Skirmishes between the two groups have--

#591

⇓

[Hughie] All right, enough of that shit.

#592

⇓

Uh, has Kiara woken up yet?

#593

⇓

Mm-mm.

#594

⇓

No, and I have about a thousand messages

#595

⇓

asking me what the Starlighters should do.

#596

⇓

[sighs]

#597

⇓

[clears throat]

#598

⇓

Spit it out.

#599

⇓

People look up to you.

#600

⇓

No, they look up to Starlight.

#601

⇓

They look up to the suit.

#602

⇓

You're the one who wore it.

#603

⇓

I get why you ditched it, I do.

#604

⇓

It's just, I can also see the value in it.

#605

⇓

In superheroes?

#606

⇓

You're defending superheroes right now? Really?

#607

⇓

As cheesy as it sounds, people need a symbol.

#608

⇓

You know, someone they can rally behind,

#609

⇓

a little fucking hope.

#610

⇓

That can be you.

#611

⇓

I don't want to lead anybody. I don't.

#612

⇓

And I cannot go back to her.

#613

⇓

To me... [sighs]

#614

⇓

she's just, she's a symbol

#615

⇓

of so much bad shit, and I-I can't.

#616

⇓

I can't. I won't. It's just, it's...

#617

⇓

Yeah, I mean...

#618

⇓

Oh, God. He's here, he's here.

#619

⇓

So I'm at the Tower, right?

#620

⇓

And we get a call from Boise, Idaho.

#621

⇓

There's a terrorist who's got,

#622

⇓

like, the whole movie theater held hostage.

#623

⇓

-And-- -[fan] A-Train?

#624

⇓

I love you. Can I get a selfie?

#625

⇓

Yeah, of course.

#626

⇓

Hang on.

#627

⇓

[camera clicks]

#628

⇓

I ran across the Rockies,

#629

⇓

took out the terrorist, disarmed the bomb.

#630

⇓

Then what?

#631

⇓

What you mean, man? Then I got some popcorn,

#632

⇓

I watched the rest of Pacific Rim: Uprising.

#633

⇓

[Nathan] Why don't you tell them the truth?

#634

⇓

Nathan.

#635

⇓

Just...

#636

⇓

just be chill, all right?

#637

⇓

You're sneaking around with my boys, behind my back,

#638

⇓

but I need to chill?

#639

⇓

-[Hughie] What's going on? -[Annie] I don't know.

#640

⇓

And don't think y'all ain't in some deep shit.

#641

⇓

Sorry, Dad.

#642

⇓

Come on, Dad.

#643

⇓

Uncle Reggie was just telling us about his saves.

#644

⇓

-You want to tell them or should I? -Come on, man,

#645

⇓

let's not make a big thing--

#646

⇓

That movie theater in Idaho,

#647

⇓

that was a soundstage in the Bronx.

#648

⇓

That terrorist, that was a stuntman.

#649

⇓

Those mountains, they added those in post.

#650

⇓

I know because I was there.

#651

⇓

Is that true?

#652

⇓

It's complicated, you know?

#653

⇓

[Nathan] No, it's simple.

#654

⇓

Your saves were never real.

#655

⇓

You never actually saved anyone.

#656

⇓

Yet here you are, lying to your own flesh and blood.

#657

⇓

I told you.

#658

⇓

Your uncle is no hero.

#659

⇓

And I don't want you anywhere near him.

#660

⇓

Come on.

#661

⇓

Nathan...

#662

⇓

Nathan, I'm sorry.

#663

⇓

Hey, hey. Wait, wait, wait. Give him a second.

#664

⇓

[fan] Your videos got me to see that my entire family

#665

⇓

had been brainwashed by clovergenders like Starlight.

#666

⇓

I told them that I couldn't speak to them again

#667

⇓

until they did their own research.

#668

⇓

It's been three years now.

#669

⇓

Good for you. You keep up the fight.

#670

⇓

Can I get a selfie?

#671

⇓

Of course.

#672

⇓

[camera clicks]

#673

⇓

Thank you.

#674

⇓

Truth bomb.

#675

⇓

[announcer over P.A.] The Sovereign Citizens meeting has moved to 6:00 p.m.

#676

⇓

Do you actually believe all of this?

#677

⇓

Or is it just bullshit

#678

⇓

smeared on top of a personal vendetta?

#679

⇓

Ain't you a little mouthy one.

#680

⇓

Appreciate the subtextual racism there,

#681

⇓

but I'm a Supe.

#682

⇓

Sister Sage.

#683

⇓

I work with Homelander.

#684

⇓

Bullshit.

#685

⇓

Goddamn.

#686

⇓

-Is he here? -Of course not.

#687

⇓

He wouldn't be caught dead with these ringworm-infested cousin fuckers.

#688

⇓

Though there's a chance you could meet him.

#689

⇓

First, I want to see your powers, though.

#690

⇓

Wow, that is... lackluster.

#691

⇓

-I'm... strong too, though. -Look, what's important is:

#692

⇓

what are you selling?

#693

⇓

[amplified] I'm here to share the truth

#694

⇓

and nothing but.

#695

⇓

What are you selling?

#696

⇓

Did I stutter?

#697

⇓

[scoffs]

#698

⇓

Purpose.

#699

⇓

I sell purpose.

#700

⇓

These people got nothing.

#701

⇓

Maybe they lost a job or a house

#702

⇓

or a kid to Oxy.

#703

⇓

Politicians don't give a shit,

#704

⇓

mainstream media tells them to be ashamed of their skin color,

#705

⇓

so, well, I bring 'em together, tell them a story,

#706

⇓

give them a purpose.

#707

⇓

Which would you rather believe?

#708

⇓

That you belong to a community of warriors battling a secret evil,

#709

⇓

or that you're a lonely, inconsequential nobody

#710

⇓

that no one will ever remember?

#711

⇓

[chuckles]

#712

⇓

Deep's Blue Sea Room. 9:00 p.m.

#713

⇓

Sage has got no powers, right?

#714

⇓

[Mother's Milk] Besides her brains? Nope.

#715

⇓

[Butcher] So, why all the sneaking around shite?

#716

⇓

Let's just grab her,

#717

⇓

work her over and rumble what we need.

#718

⇓

Hey.

#719

⇓

-This is surveillance only, okay? -All right,

#720

⇓

you sit tight and watch me do your job.

#721

⇓

All right, enough.

#722

⇓

Get your fuckin' hands off me.

#723

⇓

Just go home, all right?

#724

⇓

Or what?

#725

⇓

We have a Barney?

#726

⇓

Well, come on, then. Have a go.

#727

⇓

-Butcher, for fuck's sake. -You've been gagging for it.

#728

⇓

Ever since Soldier Boy.

#729

⇓

Ten pounds of C4 with an inch fuse pokin' out your arse, you are.

#730

⇓

Well, come on, then. Have at it, son.

#731

⇓

'Cause that's the only way you feel any regret

#732

⇓

is to get it beaten into you.

#733

⇓

You're a shit skipper, you are.

#734

⇓

Hughie's fucked off, Kimiko's hammered.

#735

⇓

We've been here for hours and still know fuck all.

#736

⇓

You're gonna get this bloody lot killed.

#737

⇓

You can't eat, you can't sleep,

#738

⇓

and you ain't willing to do what it takes to run this mob

#739

⇓

'cause you ain't got the bollocks, son.

#740

⇓

Nice try, Butcher.

#741

⇓

But it ain't gonna work.

#742

⇓

Yeah, ain't that what your wife said?

#743

⇓

[grunting]

#744

⇓

All that bullshit you pulled,

#745

⇓

and the mess you always leave behind

#746

⇓

for me to clean up, you know why I kept coming back?

#747

⇓

'Cause I thought maybe this time, it'll be a little different.

#748

⇓

All the fucking shit we've been through together, man.

#749

⇓

I thought maybe this time, maybe you and I could just...

#750

⇓

just be fucking brothers again.

#751

⇓

[panting]

#752

⇓

Just go home, man.

#753

⇓

[busy chatter]

#754

⇓

[dramatic music plays]

#755

⇓

Hey! Hey!

#756

⇓

-[crowd exclaiming] -[bystander] Oh, shit.

#757

⇓

If you really cared about children...

#758

⇓

you'd go after real traffickers...

#759

⇓

instead of these fairy tales!

#760

⇓

Non!

#761

⇓

If you must inflict pain,

#762

⇓

perhaps I can endure so others don't suffer.

#763

⇓

[man] Hey!

#764

⇓

Come on.

#765

⇓

Took y'all long enough to get here from Trenton.

#766

⇓

Traffic, am I right?

#767

⇓

The fuck are you doing here?

#768

⇓

The eyes? It's always the eyes.

#769

⇓

Here.

#770

⇓

What is this?

#771

⇓

Security cam footage of your two Starlighters.

#772

⇓

About a mile from the bodies at time of death.

#773

⇓

It's hard to commit a murder when you're 20 blocks away.

#774

⇓

Why are you giving this to us?

#775

⇓

[clicks tongue]

#776

⇓

You could have got in my face in front of my family, but you didn't.

#777

⇓

Let's call it a thank-you.

#778

⇓

Thank Hughie.

#779

⇓

I would've blasted the shit out of you,

#780

⇓

and you would've deserved it.

#781

⇓

Yeah, I agree.

#782

⇓

[alarm blaring]

#783

⇓

Hey.

#784

⇓

Back up.

#785

⇓

Back off.

#786

⇓

Noir, what the fuc--

#787

⇓

What the heck are we supposed to do?

#788

⇓

[girl crying]

#789

⇓

Ow. Ow!

#790

⇓

-Let her go. -Out of my way, kid.

#791

⇓

You're gonna be okay.

#792

⇓

-Do you promise? -I promise.

#793

⇓

[Koy] Who are you?

#794

⇓

My name is--

#795

⇓

Ryan.

#796

⇓

-[bystander] It's Homelander! -Dad?

#797

⇓

[Homelander] It's okay, son.

#798

⇓

I'm here.

#799

⇓

We're going to save America together.

#800

⇓

[whispers] Go.

#801

⇓

Go.

#802

⇓

Throw him hard. Throw him. Now.

#803

⇓

[shouts]

#804

⇓

-Holy shit. -[crowd screaming]

#805

⇓

[squishing]

#806

⇓

[Homelander] It's okay, everyone.

#807

⇓

It's okay. Everything's under control.

#808

⇓

You saved me.

#809

⇓

Good girl.

#810

⇓

[nervous chatter]

#811

⇓

-Smile. Smile. -[cameras clicking]

#812

⇓

All right.

#813

⇓

I thought we weren't killing the guy today.

#814

⇓

I just feel like I'm not getting clear direction for this role.

#815

⇓

[suspenseful music plays]

#816

⇓

♪ ♪

#817

⇓

She said 9:00 p.m. in the Deep Blue Sea Room, no?

#818

⇓

-[door opens] -[Firecracker] I sure did.

#819

⇓

Toss your guns.

#820

⇓

Eh, your rifles are garish and vulgar.

#821

⇓

They're American, you fuckin' surrender monkey.

#822

⇓

Marvin, did you really think you could tail me

#823

⇓

-without me knowing? -So, what now?

#824

⇓

These assholes are CIA.

#825

⇓

Genuine deep state moles.

#826

⇓

They've taken out more superheroes than anyone in the world.

#827

⇓

And Homelander would like it if you killed them.

#828

⇓

Consider it your final audition.

#829

⇓

Audition for what?

#830

⇓

The sooner they're dead, the sooner you'll find out.

#831

⇓

Hmm.

#832

⇓

You're not as impressive as I heard.

#833

⇓

[scoffs]

#834

⇓

Oh, I'm gonna send your ass back to China, bitch.

#835

⇓

-She's Japanese. -[door closes]

#836

⇓

What are you doing?

#837

⇓

Oh, pink eye. Too much salad tossing, huh?

#838

⇓

No. No, no, no.

#839

⇓

It's allergies. It's allergies.

#840

⇓

-Achoo. -Shut the fuck up.

#841

⇓

Now!

#842

⇓

[intense music playing]

#843

⇓

[others grunting]

#844

⇓

Oh, hell nah.

#845

⇓

[♪ The Barry Sisters: "Hava Nagila"]

#846

⇓

[women vocalizing]

#847

⇓

♪ Hava nagila, hava nagila ♪

#848

⇓

♪ Hava nagila venismecha ♪

#849

⇓

♪ Hava nagila, hava nagila ♪

#850

⇓

♪ Hava nagila venismecha ♪

#851

⇓

Mazel tov.

#852

⇓

♪ Hava nera'nena ♪

#853

⇓

♪ Hava nera'nena venismecha ♪

#854

⇓

♪ Hava nera'nena, hava nera'nena ♪

#855

⇓

-[Rachel screams] -♪ Hava nera'nena venismecha...

#856

⇓

[crowd gasping, clamoring]

#857

⇓

[people screaming]

#858

⇓

♪ Uru achim ♪

#859

⇓

♪ Hava nera'nena, hava nera'nena ♪

#860

⇓

♪ Hava nera'nena...

#861

⇓

-Damn. I'm out. -Me too.

#862

⇓

[gun clicking empty]

#863

⇓

So are they.

#864

⇓

[rock version of "Hava Nagila" playing]

#865

⇓

[all grunting]

#866

⇓

[grunting continues]

#867

⇓

Ow!

#868

⇓

No!

#869

⇓

[clicks empty]

#870

⇓

[yells]

#871

⇓

[gurgling]

#872

⇓

Get away from me, pink eye!

#873

⇓

[yells]

#874

⇓

[Frenchie] No!

#875

⇓

[grunting]

#876

⇓

[phone chimes]

#877

⇓

The storm has arrived.

#878

⇓

Splinter and I are being attacked

#879

⇓

by CIA agents

#880

⇓

after infiltrating a Zionist cabal.

#881

⇓

-The proof... -[grunting]

#882

⇓

the proof is right here.

#883

⇓

-Now I'm calling on all-- -[thud]

#884

⇓

[Splinter] Firecracker!

#885

⇓

No!

#886

⇓

You gonna let me smack your girl like that?

#887

⇓

No wonder she put you in the friend zone, mate.

#888

⇓

[yelling]

#889

⇓

[rock version of "Hava Nagila" playing]

#890

⇓

Ah!

#891

⇓

[groans softly]

#892

⇓

[Butcher] M!

#893

⇓

Get the boys out of here!

#894

⇓

Fuck.

#895

⇓

♪ ♪

#896

⇓

[yells]

#897

⇓

[gagging]

#898

⇓

[gurgles]

#899

⇓

No. No, no, no! Not Prime!

#900

⇓

No!

#901

⇓

We loved you.

#902

⇓

From your first Holocaust hoax video.

#903

⇓

You know, you--

#904

⇓

[grunts]

#905

⇓

[door opens]

#906

⇓

[door closes]

#907

⇓

[Ryan crying]

#908

⇓

[Homelander groans]

#909

⇓

Who wants a creamy, delicious milkshake?

#910

⇓

-[sniffles] -Hmm?

#911

⇓

Oh, Ryan...

#912

⇓

[sighs]

#913

⇓

[clicks tongue]

#914

⇓

Okay, come on.

#915

⇓

Come on.

#916

⇓

Come on. It's okay.

#917

⇓

Don't worry.

#918

⇓

Okay? Don't worry.

#919

⇓

You'll get plenty of solo saves, I promise.

#920

⇓

But I really do think that my being there

#921

⇓

is good for your numbers.

#922

⇓

What?

#923

⇓

-Yeah. -No.

#924

⇓

Yes.

#925

⇓

-No, no... -Yes.

#926

⇓

I killed Koy.

#927

⇓

That's what you're upset about?

#928

⇓

Koy?

#929

⇓

[sighs]

#930

⇓

Hmm. Okay.

#931

⇓

Accidents happen all the time, okay?

#932

⇓

Humans are fragile.

#933

⇓

You can't save them all.

#934

⇓

But isn't that our job?

#935

⇓

Look, Koy died doing what he loved.

#936

⇓

Okay?

#937

⇓

It'll be better next time.

#938

⇓

-No. -Yes.

#939

⇓

No, I'm never doing that again.

#940

⇓

Jesus Chr--

#941

⇓

How many times do I have to tell you?

#942

⇓

They're only human, Ryan.

#943

⇓

Toys.

#944

⇓

[sighs]

#945

⇓

You can't go around feeling bad

#946

⇓

about what you are 'cause a few things break.

#947

⇓

Who cares?

#948

⇓

You are destined for so much more.

#949

⇓

You understand? You're chosen, young man.

#950

⇓

Sooner or later,

#951

⇓

you got to accept it.

#952

⇓

[crowd cheering]

#953

⇓

[crowd chanting] Not guilty! Not guilty! Not guilty!

#954

⇓

Not guilty! Not guilty! Not guilty! Not guilty!

#955

⇓

Not guilty! Not guilty!

#956

⇓

Not guilty! Not guilty! Not guilty! Not guilty!

#957

⇓

Are you sure about this?

#958

⇓

I'm gonna let a shitbag like A-Train step up, but I won't?

#959

⇓

I got this.

#960

⇓

-[crowd cheering] -[fan] We love you, Starlight!

#961

⇓

[crowd clamoring, whooping]

#962

⇓

[crowd chanting] Starlight! Starlight!

#963

⇓

Starlight! Starlight! Starlight!

#964

⇓

Starlight! Starlight! Starlight! Starlight!

#965

⇓

Starlight! Starlight! Starlight! Starlight! Starlight! Starlight!

#966

⇓

[sighs]

#967

⇓

[snorts]

#968

⇓

[phone vibrating]

#969

⇓

[phone clicks]

#970

⇓

[sniffs]

#971

⇓

[computer chiming]

#972

⇓

You look like shit.

#973

⇓

Where are you?

#974

⇓

Plausible deniability, pumpkin.

#975

⇓

Let's just say I'm a Contessa from Luxembourg

#976

⇓

on permanent holiday.

#977

⇓

Cherie... you, uh,

#978

⇓

you remember Colin Hauser?

#979

⇓

-The judge's son? -I saw him

#980

⇓

at, uh...

#981

⇓

Narcotics Anonymous.

#982

⇓

Did he recognize you?

#983

⇓

We started talking.

#984

⇓

He was having a hard time,

#985

⇓

so I helped him get a job at Starlight's House and--

#986

⇓

You're fucking him, right?

#987

⇓

For fuck's sake, Serge,

#988

⇓

what is it with you and taking in strays all the time?

#989

⇓

I didn't mean for it to happen.

#990

⇓

I was just seeing him day after day,

#991

⇓

one thing led to another, and--

#992

⇓

So what happens when he finds out you murdered his family?

#993

⇓

[breathes deeply]

#994

⇓

[indistinct P.A. announcement]

#995

⇓

[door opens]

#996

⇓

Your promise isn't worth the piece of paper it's printed on!

#997

⇓

[stammers] I don't understand that.

#998

⇓

Just, earlier-- [groans]

#999

⇓

Earlier, you said that you-- you said that

#1000

⇓

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