Home » Scrubs » S05E19 — His Story III

Scrubs

Season 5, Episode 19 — His Story III

Turk and Carla were converting my old bedroom into a nursery,

#1

⇓

Turk and Carla were converting my old bedroom into a nursery,

#2

⇓

so I helped paint a mural for the new baby.

#3

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- Done. - Oh, hell no!

#4

⇓

Is that big, ugly one shooting laser beams into the crib?

#5

⇓

Is that big, ugly one shooting laser beams into the crib?

#6

⇓

That's Optimus Prime.

#7

⇓

I don't think he'd appreciate you calling him the big, ugly one.

#8

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I don't think he'd appreciate you calling him the big, ugly one.

#9

⇓

- No, he wouldn't. - No.

#10

⇓

- No, he wouldn't. - No.

#11

⇓

Not Optimus.

#12

⇓

If Junior gets scared, he can always climb into bed with us.

#13

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If Junior gets scared, he can always climb into bed with us.

#14

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- That's what I did with my mom. - What do you mean "did"?

#15

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Last Christmas, I walked in on Turk and his mom cuddling together in bed.

#16

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Last Christmas, I walked in on Turk and his mom cuddling together in bed.

#17

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Turk gets defensive when it comes to his mother.

#18

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You're jealous 'cause your mom's dead.

#19

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You're jealous 'cause your mom's dead.

#20

⇓

Whoa! We should probably take a break.

#21

⇓

No, you finish building that crib like you promised.

#22

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You are driving to the cemetery, cleaning up my mom's grave,

#23

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You are driving to the cemetery, cleaning up my mom's grave,

#24

⇓

and asking her for forgiveness.

#25

⇓

and asking her for forgiveness.

#26

⇓

I hate having to ask for forgiveness.

#27

⇓

How's my mom doing?

#28

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How's my mom doing?

#29

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I asked if she hated me, and the sprinklers came on.

#30

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Give her time. She's only been dead for three years.

#31

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Give her time. She's only been dead for three years.

#32

⇓

But, baby, it's too soon to be putting a nursery together,

#33

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But, baby, it's too soon to be putting a nursery together,

#34

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test driving minivans, or buying baby monitors.

#35

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test driving minivans, or buying baby monitors.

#36

⇓

I can't get this crib together.

#37

⇓

I can't get this crib together.

#38

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And can somebody please bring me a glass of water?

#39

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You go this time.

#40

⇓

Thank you.

#41

⇓

Thank you.

#42

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Thinking of Turk and Carla becoming parents

#43

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made me think of my mom and how much she probably misses me.

#44

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made me think of my mom and how much she probably misses me.

#45

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I bet she wishes she could see what life is like around here through my eyes.

#46

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I bet she wishes she could see what life is like around here through my eyes.

#47

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And that's why I strapped my video camera to my head.

#48

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- Morning, weirdo. - Lonnie.

#49

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It was the perfect idea. She got to meet my superiors.

#50

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It was the perfect idea. She got to meet my superiors.

#51

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That's right, the old man stole some ice cream.

#52

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I even got some great footage of Dr Cox.

#53

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I even got some great footage of Dr Cox.

#54

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- Where the hell have you been? - I'm making a video postcard.

#55

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- Where the hell have you been? - I'm making a video postcard.

#56

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- Do you have a message for my mom? - No.

#57

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- Do you have a message for my mom? - No.

#58

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But since she brought you into the world,

#59

⇓

I do have a message for her uterus.

#60

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I do have a message for her uterus.

#61

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Bad uterus! Don't do that anymore.

#62

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Bad uterus! Don't do that anymore.

#63

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She had a hysterectomy, but I'm sure I can just edit over that part.

#64

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Let's go see Mr McNair.

#65

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Mr McNair had locked-in syndrome,

#66

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Mr McNair had locked-in syndrome,

#67

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a paralysis so severe he could only communicate

#68

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through a computer that responds to his eye movements.

#69

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through a computer that responds to his eye movements.

#70

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- Check his vitals, Eva. - Why does he call you a girl's name?

#71

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- Check his vitals, Eva. - Why does he call you a girl's name?

#72

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Thank you for asking, Mr McNair.

#73

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Thank you for asking, Mr McNair.

#74

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You see, the thing about Dr Cox is the closer he feels to a person,

#75

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You see, the thing about Dr Cox is the closer he feels to a person,

#76

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the more he needs to push them away.

#77

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When he calls me Eva, he's actually saying, "J.D., I care about you."

#78

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When he calls me Eva, he's actually saying, "J.D., I care about you."

#79

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- Vulnerable people like... - Oh, my God. I get it now.

#80

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- Vulnerable people like... - Oh, my God. I get it now.

#81

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Carol. Carol, Carol, Carol, Carol...

#82

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- Now you're being a jerk. - Carol...

#83

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- Now you're being a jerk. - Carol...

#84

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- Jerk! Jerk! Jerk! - Carol, Carol, Carol...

#85

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- (Whistles) Newbie! - What?

#86

⇓

- (Whistles) Newbie! - What?

#87

⇓

I'm relatively certain the computer is broken.

#88

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- Carol, Carol, Carol... - My bad.

#89

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- Carol, Carol, Carol... - My bad.

#90

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I felt bad for Mr McNair, but I was off until six tonight,

#91

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I felt bad for Mr McNair, but I was off until six tonight,

#92

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so I decided to grab a quick nap in the sun.

#93

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so I decided to grab a quick nap in the sun.

#94

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J.D: What the? (Yells)

#95

⇓

# I can't do this all on my own

#96

⇓

# I can't do this all on my own

#97

⇓

# No, I know I'm no superman

#98

⇓

# No, I know I'm no superman

#99

⇓

# I'm no superman #

#100

⇓

- Where the hell is J.D? - He's off until six.

#101

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- Where the hell is J.D? - He's off until six.

#102

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Any second now, he's gonna walk through that door, lost in his thoughts.

#103

⇓

Any second now, he's gonna walk through that door, lost in his thoughts.

#104

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With Dorian taken care of, I'm not sure how I should spend my day.

#105

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With Dorian taken care of, I'm not sure how I should spend my day.

#106

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I suppose I could clean. (Chuckles)

#107

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I suppose I could clean. (Chuckles)

#108

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God help me, that one still makes me laugh.

#109

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God help me, that one still makes me laugh.

#110

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Oh, no, it's black Kojak and Scary Nurse-Wife.

#111

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Oh, no, it's black Kojak and Scary Nurse-Wife.

#112

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I'll get rid of them with an innocuous compliment.

#113

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You are glowing.

#114

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You are glowing.

#115

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Free and clear.

#116

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Free and clear.

#117

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Have you seen J.D?

#118

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Where am I?

#119

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Where am I?

#120

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Hello?

#121

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Anyone?

#122

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Anyone?

#123

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No, I don't know where he is.

#124

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No, I don't know where he is.

#125

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I love that adrenaline rush you get from lying to someone's face.

#126

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I love that adrenaline rush you get from lying to someone's face.

#127

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Do it again.

#128

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Dr Kelso,

#129

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I must say that your nose hair is not long and creepy like most old guys.

#130

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I must say that your nose hair is not long and creepy like most old guys.

#131

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Thank you.

#132

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Thank you.

#133

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Hey, Perry, great shirt!

#134

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Hey, Perry, great shirt!

#135

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Wish I'd thought of athletic apparel when going through my midlife crisis.

#136

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Wish I'd thought of athletic apparel when going through my midlife crisis.

#137

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It'd have been cheaper than a cigarette boat named Dr Feelgood.

#138

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It'd have been cheaper than a cigarette boat named Dr Feelgood.

#139

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(Laughs)

#140

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That laughing had better not be aimed in my direction, bro.

#141

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That laughing had better not be aimed in my direction, bro.

#142

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Bro? Dude, bros don't even use "bro."

#143

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Bro? Dude, bros don't even use "bro."

#144

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You're not as hip as you think you are.

#145

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You're not as hip as you think you are.

#146

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And you are?

#147

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I'm black. God knew my people would go through struggles,

#148

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I'm black. God knew my people would go through struggles,

#149

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so he gave us a lifetime supply of cool.

#150

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so he gave us a lifetime supply of cool.

#151

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Like he knew white people would be rhythmically challenged

#152

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and he gave you this dance.

#153

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and he gave you this dance.

#154

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You're black?

#155

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You're black?

#156

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'Cause, last I checked, you had a nerdy white best friend,

#157

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'Cause, last I checked, you had a nerdy white best friend,

#158

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you enjoy Neil Diamond,

#159

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and you damn sure act like a black guy.

#160

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and you damn sure act like a black guy.

#161

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And these, my friend, are all characteristics of white guys.

#162

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And these, my friend, are all characteristics of white guys.

#163

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Now, please understand, I'm a huge supporter of the NAACP.

#164

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Now, please understand, I'm a huge supporter of the NAACP.

#165

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Stands for the National Association

#166

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For the Advancement of Colored People.

#167

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For the Advancement of Colored People.

#168

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And quite frankly, I always thought they should change "Colored People"

#169

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And quite frankly, I always thought they should change "Colored People"

#170

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to "African-Americans."

#171

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But then it wouldn't be the NAACP,

#172

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But then it wouldn't be the NAACP,

#173

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it would be the "N quad A," or NAAAA.

#174

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it would be the "N quad A," or NAAAA.

#175

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I know this probably sounds like a digression,

#176

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but it actually leads me back to my original point:

#177

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but it actually leads me back to my original point:

#178

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Do I think you're black?

#179

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Do I think you're black?

#180

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Nah.

#181

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Knock, knock.

#182

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Knock, knock.

#183

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Who's there? Nurse Mophead.

#184

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Nurse Mophead, who? You have a mophead.

#185

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Nurse Mophead, who? You have a mophead.

#186

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Well, your new computer should be here tonight.

#187

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Well, your new computer should be here tonight.

#188

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She got out of here in a hurry, didn't she?

#189

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I know what that's like, when people say the minimum.

#190

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I know what that's like, when people say the minimum.

#191

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With me it's usually, "Mop that floor.

#192

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With me it's usually, "Mop that floor.

#193

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Clean that counter. Stop provoking that bear."

#194

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Want me to keep you company?

#195

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Want me to keep you company?

#196

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I don't mind. I'm just working on my own stuff.

#197

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I don't mind. I'm just working on my own stuff.

#198

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I'm a bit of an inventor. I'm gonna show you my latest one:

#199

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Pen straw.

#200

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Pen straw.

#201

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Perfect.

#202

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Except I don't like that cola.

#203

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Except I don't like that cola.

#204

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It tastes like ink.

#205

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But that's just one. I got a million ideas.

#206

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But that's just one. I got a million ideas.

#207

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I don't care if he is on the first floor, I need this cleaned up now!

#208

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I don't care if he is on the first floor, I need this cleaned up now!

#209

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I don't care if he is on the first floor, I need this cleaned up now!

#210

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I'm here. Open up the window.

#211

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That was quick.

#212

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That was quick.

#213

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I call it the Hover Hoover. Where suction meets the sky.

#214

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I call it the Hover Hoover. Where suction meets the sky.

#215

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That's a good question. Only problem is I've answered it five times.

#216

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That's a good question. Only problem is I've answered it five times.

#217

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Dr Reid, would you mind explaining to me why you called the chief of surgery

#218

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Dr Reid, would you mind explaining to me why you called the chief of surgery

#219

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to consult on a cellulitis patient yesterday?

#220

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to consult on a cellulitis patient yesterday?

#221

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I wasn't even here yesterday.

#222

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I wasn't even here yesterday.

#223

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Your interns were. Their mistakes are yours.

#224

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Whether it's an unnecessary consult, or his ridiculous haircut.

#225

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Whether it's an unnecessary consult, or his ridiculous haircut.

#226

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This cost $60.

#227

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This cost $60.

#228

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Let's hope your stylist put that money towards rehab.

#229

⇓

Let's hope your stylist put that money towards rehab.

#230

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Darn! I'm sick and tired of your careless mistakes.

#231

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Why isn't this bleeder on telemetry? I know you had a 12-hour shift yesterday,

#232

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Why isn't this bleeder on telemetry? I know you had a 12-hour shift yesterday,

#233

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but that is no excuse for not turning in your histories.

#234

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but that is no excuse for not turning in your histories.

#235

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You dragged me to dinner and made me play Scrabble.

#236

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You dragged me to dinner and made me play Scrabble.

#237

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How you spend your private life isn't my responsibility.

#238

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How you spend your private life isn't my responsibility.

#239

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Fine. I'll do them tonight.

#240

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You're taking me to the movies. Get on the ball.

#241

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You're taking me to the movies. Get on the ball.

#242

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All of you, go work.

#243

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All of you, go work.

#244

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Wow.

#245

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Aren't you the big badass attending?

#246

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Aren't you the big badass attending?

#247

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It's time for them to sink or swim. I got to where I am on my own.

#248

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It's time for them to sink or swim. I got to where I am on my own.

#249

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Nobody helped you in the beginning?

#250

⇓

Dr Cox was my attending. He kept track of the times he made me cry.

#251

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Dr Cox was my attending. He kept track of the times he made me cry.

#252

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Twenty-seven, counting this morning.

#253

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Twenty-seven, counting this morning.

#254

⇓

Yeah, I'm PMS'ing and he made fun of my shoes.

#255

⇓

Yeah, I'm PMS'ing and he made fun of my shoes.

#256

⇓

Laverne, what are you doing out here?

#257

⇓

Laverne, what are you doing out here?

#258

⇓

Tonight's date night with Mr Roberts

#259

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and I like to prime the pump by watching the young men sweat.

#260

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and I like to prime the pump by watching the young men sweat.

#261

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Hey, Dr Cox, if I wasn't a black man, could I do this?

#262

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Hey, Dr Cox, if I wasn't a black man, could I do this?

#263

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That's game, all right? That's game!

#264

⇓

- You got next? - Yeah, I got next.

#265

⇓

- You got next? - Yeah, I got next.

#266

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They call me the Candyman 'cause my moves are so sweet.

#267

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They call me The Pig, because I say sexist and derogatory things to women.

#268

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They call me The Pig, because I say sexist and derogatory things to women.

#269

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Lonnie, play with Dr Cox.

#270

⇓

Let's go!

#271

⇓

Let's go!

#272

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Look at the glasses! Look at the mouthpiece!

#273

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Dr Turk is not aware that Lonnie was all-conference at Villanova.

#274

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Dr Turk is not aware that Lonnie was all-conference at Villanova.

#275

⇓

Would you go ahead and thank what's-his-name for me?

#276

⇓

Would you go ahead and thank what's-his-name for me?

#277

⇓

- Jesus? - That's him.

#278

⇓

- Jesus? - That's him.

#279

⇓

- Let's go. - Take ball.

#280

⇓

Lisa, why did you order 100 units of insulin for Mrs Best?

#281

⇓

Lisa, why did you order 100 units of insulin for Mrs Best?

#282

⇓

No, that's only 10 units. I put a smiley face after the zero.

#283

⇓

No, that's only 10 units. I put a smiley face after the zero.

#284

⇓

Look, Lisa, you have to be crystal clear with your medication orders.

#285

⇓

Look, Lisa, you have to be crystal clear with your medication orders.

#286

⇓

OK, it's causing a bit of a seizure.

#287

⇓

OK, it's causing a bit of a seizure.

#288

⇓

Hey, Janitor!

#289

⇓

Come here! Hold her legs down, please!

#290

⇓

Come here! Hold her legs down, please!

#291

⇓

This is it! I'm in the show! Dr Jan-itor.

#292

⇓

This is it! I'm in the show! Dr Jan-itor.

#293

⇓

We'll give her an amp of B50.

#294

⇓

We'll give her an amp of B50.

#295

⇓

This is easy. Just like drowning someone.

#296

⇓

OK. You can let her legs go now. I think we're good.

#297

⇓

OK. You can let her legs go now. I think we're good.

#298

⇓

I didn't see the demon leave the body.

#299

⇓

I'm sure it did.

#300

⇓

I'm sure it did.

#301

⇓

Hey, Janitor, good job.

#302

⇓

Good job.

#303

⇓

Dr Reid will kill me when she finds out about this.

#304

⇓

Relax. I'll go talk to Dr Reid. It won't be a big deal.

#305

⇓

Relax. I'll go talk to Dr Reid. It won't be a big deal.

#306

⇓

What?!

#307

⇓

What?!

#308

⇓

I'm gonna make someone burn for this. Who did it, Carla?

#309

⇓

I'm gonna make someone burn for this. Who did it, Carla?

#310

⇓

I didn't realize how much I picked up from working here.

#311

⇓

I didn't realize how much I picked up from working here.

#312

⇓

I heard her yell, "Hold this woman's legs down," and I just knew what to do.

#313

⇓

I heard her yell, "Hold this woman's legs down," and I just knew what to do.

#314

⇓

Good for you.

#315

⇓

Good for you.

#316

⇓

Now I've got to go meet my husband at the bus station

#317

⇓

and pretend to be a street walker.

#318

⇓

Enjoy your date night.

#319

⇓

Enjoy your date night.

#320

⇓

OK, Mr Cool Guy, you had your moment of glory.

#321

⇓

No need to make a big deal out of it.

#322

⇓

No need to make a big deal out of it.

#323

⇓

Hey!

#324

⇓

Slow down, buddy. What's the hurry? Come here!

#325

⇓

Slow down, buddy. What's the hurry? Come here!

#326

⇓

I want to tell you a little story about a hero.

#327

⇓

I want to tell you a little story about a hero.

#328

⇓

You know what? The hell with it. It feels good to get a little attention.

#329

⇓

You know what? The hell with it. It feels good to get a little attention.

#330

⇓

I'll tell you one thing, it beats falling flat on your ass.

#331

⇓

I'll tell you one thing, it beats falling flat on your ass.

#332

⇓

Holy moly!

#333

⇓

Holy moly!

#334

⇓

That would've been really embarrassing if you were black.

#335

⇓

That would've been really embarrassing if you were black.

#336

⇓

Great.

#337

⇓

Seriously, Carla, I need to know who's responsible for this.

#338

⇓

Seriously, Carla, I need to know who's responsible for this.

#339

⇓

Or lying to cover someone's ass.

#340

⇓

Or lying to cover someone's ass.

#341

⇓

I don't know.

#342

⇓

It was just a clerical error. There's no way to trace it.

#343

⇓

It was just a clerical error. There's no way to trace it.

#344

⇓

Was I brave? "Brave" is a pretty strong word.

#345

⇓

Was I brave? "Brave" is a pretty strong word.

#346

⇓

Perhaps the better term is "valiant."

#347

⇓

Perhaps the better term is "valiant."

#348

⇓

Off you go.

#349

⇓

Anyway, for once I didn't feel like a jerk.

#350

⇓

Is he still talking about holding that patient?

#351

⇓

Is he still talking about holding that patient?

#352

⇓

Give him a break. You know how hard it is for us to bust our humps every day.

#353

⇓

Give him a break. You know how hard it is for us to bust our humps every day.

#354

⇓

Imagine how it feels being here knowing you don't make a difference.

#355

⇓

Imagine how it feels being here knowing you don't make a difference.

#356

⇓

# Mostly fork #

#359

⇓

I don't care what those people said. I know I make a difference around here.

#360

⇓

I don't care what those people said. I know I make a difference around here.

#361

⇓

Hey, Jill.

#362

⇓

Hey, Jill.

#363

⇓

They don't know how different it would be if I wasn't here.

#364

⇓

They don't know how different it would be if I wasn't here.

#365

⇓

Hey, Jill.

#366

⇓

Yep, a lot of lives would change.

#367

⇓

Yep, a lot of lives would change.

#368

⇓

I am gonna prove that to them right now. I am gonna fix your computer.

#369

⇓

I am gonna prove that to them right now. I am gonna fix your computer.

#370

⇓

I just gotta get my real tools. I've turned these into eating utensils.

#371

⇓

I just gotta get my real tools. I've turned these into eating utensils.

#372

⇓

I just gotta get my real tools. I've turned these into eating utensils.

#373

⇓

Dig in.

#374

⇓

- You know what time it is? - 4. 15.

#375

⇓

- 3.30. - Oh, thank goodness.

#376

⇓

- 3.30. - Oh, thank goodness.

#377

⇓

- I thought I was running late. - I do love to lie.

#378

⇓

- I thought I was running late. - I do love to lie.

#379

⇓

Look at me. Keith, what does it mean when I'm frowning?

#380

⇓

Look at me. Keith, what does it mean when I'm frowning?

#381

⇓

You're feeling insecure and suspicious that I think someone on television

#382

⇓

You're feeling insecure and suspicious that I think someone on television

#383

⇓

is prettier than you.

#384

⇓

At work, Keith.

#385

⇓

Keith was half right. This face means

#386

⇓

that I am suspicious. I was reviewing records.

#387

⇓

that I am suspicious. I was reviewing records.

#388

⇓

Mrs Best received an inordinate amount of insulin.

#389

⇓

Mrs Best received an inordinate amount of insulin.

#390

⇓

- I wanna know who screwed up. - Elliot?

#391

⇓

- I wanna know who screwed up. - Elliot?

#392

⇓

You're wasting your time. You know how interns stick together.

#393

⇓

You're wasting your time. You know how interns stick together.

#394

⇓

- They'll never rat each other out. - I am sleeping with one of the interns.

#395

⇓

- They'll never rat each other out. - I am sleeping with one of the interns.

#396

⇓

Seeing as I've gotten Keith to pee sitting down so there's no splatter,

#397

⇓

Seeing as I've gotten Keith to pee sitting down so there's no splatter,

#398

⇓

I'm betting I'll be able to get him to talk.

#399

⇓

I'm betting I'll be able to get him to talk.

#400

⇓

Keith!

#401

⇓

Meet me in the caf in half an hour.

#402

⇓

Meet me in the caf in half an hour.

#403

⇓

Keith, you better not tell her who did it.

#404

⇓

Keith, you better not tell her who did it.

#405

⇓

But Elliot scares me.

#406

⇓

But Elliot scares me.

#407

⇓

Elliot is a blonde, 108-pound ski pole from a cul-de-sac in Connecticut.

#408

⇓

Elliot is a blonde, 108-pound ski pole from a cul-de-sac in Connecticut.

#409

⇓

I am an underpaid pregnant nurse from the block,

#410

⇓

who, over the next six months, will become fatter and angrier.

#411

⇓

who, over the next six months, will become fatter and angrier.

#412

⇓

- Now, who are you really afraid of? - The fatty.

#413

⇓

- Now, who are you really afraid of? - The fatty.

#414

⇓

Be careful, Keith.

#415

⇓

Be careful, Keith.

#416

⇓

Oh, I love it!

#417

⇓

Oh, I love it!

#418

⇓

And you know, they say it's the safest thing we can do for our baby.

#419

⇓

And you know, they say it's the safest thing we can do for our baby.

#420

⇓

- Can we get it? - No. No, no, no.

#421

⇓

Let's take it back before somebody sees me. As a matter of fact, get down!

#422

⇓

Let's take it back before somebody sees me. As a matter of fact, get down!

#423

⇓

Hey!

#424

⇓

Hey!

#425

⇓

Hello, that's a nice ride, huh, Dexter?

#426

⇓

Hello, that's a nice ride, huh, Dexter?

#427

⇓

Hate to bother you, but could you explain again

#428

⇓

Hate to bother you, but could you explain again

#429

⇓

what it's like to be a young, hip black guy?

#430

⇓

You see, Dr Cox, what I'm gonna do is we're gonna pimp this out.

#431

⇓

You see, Dr Cox, what I'm gonna do is we're gonna pimp this out.

#432

⇓

We're gonna throw some 22s on it, put some spinners on the 22s...

#433

⇓

We're gonna throw some 22s on it, put some spinners on the 22s...

#434

⇓

And a DVD player so the kids can watch Elmo.

#435

⇓

And a DVD player so the kids can watch Elmo.

#436

⇓

You're killing me.

#437

⇓

You're killing me.

#438

⇓

Sometimes, around here, it feels like humiliation is contagious.

#439

⇓

Sometimes, around here, it feels like humiliation is contagious.

#440

⇓

Mr McNair, I didn't exactly fix your computer.

#441

⇓

Mr McNair, I didn't exactly fix your computer.

#442

⇓

I think I might have voided your warranty.

#443

⇓

I think I might have voided your warranty.

#444

⇓

Elliot, I am not gonna tell you who messed up with Mrs Best.

#445

⇓

Elliot, I am not gonna tell you who messed up with Mrs Best.

#446

⇓

Oh, no problem. I just wanted to grab a cup of coffee.

#447

⇓

Oh, no problem. I just wanted to grab a cup of coffee.

#448

⇓

Oh, and to introduce you to my mom.

#449

⇓

Mom. That makes me sound so old.

#450

⇓

Mom. That makes me sound so old.

#451

⇓

I had C-sections with all my kids, so everything is as it was down there.

#452

⇓

I had C-sections with all my kids, so everything is as it was down there.

#453

⇓

Very nice to meet you, Mrs Reid.

#454

⇓

Very nice to meet you, Mrs Reid.

#455

⇓

You and Elliot would have such cute babies.

#456

⇓

She's only got about five more years to pop one out.

#457

⇓

She's only got about five more years to pop one out.

#458

⇓

- Have you ever seen chubby Elliot? - No.

#459

⇓

- Have you ever seen chubby Elliot? - No.

#460

⇓

If you want to, break up and wait a couple of weeks.

#461

⇓

If you want to, break up and wait a couple of weeks.

#462

⇓

When she's depressed, she hits the Doritos like diamonds are at the bottom.

#463

⇓

When she's depressed, she hits the Doritos like diamonds are at the bottom.

#464

⇓

Love you too, Mom.

#465

⇓

That's your dad. How did you get this number?

#466

⇓

That's your dad. How did you get this number?

#467

⇓

Like her? If you don't tell me which intern messed up,

#468

⇓

Like her? If you don't tell me which intern messed up,

#469

⇓

I'll beg her to move here.

#470

⇓

She's just a little weird, Elliot. I can handle weird.

#471

⇓

She's just a little weird, Elliot. I can handle weird.

#472

⇓

She's just a little weird, Elliot. I can handle weird.

#473

⇓

I'm sorry.

#474

⇓

The light just hit you so perfectly, I had to have a taste.

#475

⇓

The light just hit you so perfectly, I had to have a taste.

#476

⇓

- No, not you. - It was Lisa.

#477

⇓

- No, not you. - It was Lisa.

#478

⇓

I would've told you earlier, but someone told me not to.

#479

⇓

I would've told you earlier, but someone told me not to.

#480

⇓

Who told you not to?

#481

⇓

Baby, you're not really bothered by what Dr Cox said, are you?

#482

⇓

Baby, you're not really bothered by what Dr Cox said, are you?

#483

⇓

- You know you're my black prince. - That's not it.

#484

⇓

- You know you're my black prince. - That's not it.

#485

⇓

I know I'm black. I'm reminded all the time.

#486

⇓

I know I'm black. I'm reminded all the time.

#487

⇓

Patient doesn't want a black doctor, I know the score to every NBA game.

#488

⇓

Patient doesn't want a black doctor, I know the score to every NBA game.

#489

⇓

I told you what happened last week

#490

⇓

when the new board member met the surgical staff.

#491

⇓

when the new board member met the surgical staff.

#492

⇓

Nice to meet you.

#493

⇓

Nice to meet you.

#494

⇓

Nice to meet you.

#495

⇓

Nice to meet you.

#496

⇓

Hey, what's up, dawg?

#497

⇓

Hey, what's up, dawg?

#498

⇓

Nice to meet you.

#499

⇓

It's not even about that.

#500

⇓

It's about the nursery. It's about that stupid minivan.

#501

⇓

It's about the nursery. It's about that stupid minivan.

#502

⇓

I don't know if you know this, but overnight I went from Chris Turk, stud,

#503

⇓

I don't know if you know this, but overnight I went from Chris Turk, stud,

#504

⇓

to Grandpa Turk, who wears overalls and does embarrassing dances at cookouts.

#505

⇓

to Grandpa Turk, who wears overalls and does embarrassing dances at cookouts.

#506

⇓

to Grandpa Turk, who wears overalls and does embarrassing dances at cookouts.

#507

⇓

You do that now.

#508

⇓

But in a cool way.

#509

⇓

But in a cool way.

#510

⇓

Hey. Thanks to your little telling-me-the wrong-time prank,

#511

⇓

Hey. Thanks to your little telling-me-the wrong-time prank,

#512

⇓

I was 45 minutes late for my Oriental massage.

#513

⇓

I was 45 minutes late for my Oriental massage.

#514

⇓

Which meant that instead of Pang-Wa, I had to settle for Ching-Lau.

#515

⇓

Which meant that instead of Pang-Wa, I had to settle for Ching-Lau.

#516

⇓

- So? - Ching-Lau is a dude!

#517

⇓

- So? - Ching-Lau is a dude!

#518

⇓

You know, I've accepted the fact that you're useless around here.

#519

⇓

You know, I've accepted the fact that you're useless around here.

#520

⇓

Maybe you could just try a little harder not to make things worse.

#521

⇓

Maybe you could just try a little harder not to make things worse.

#522

⇓

Know what he doesn't get? I could have been a janitor anywhere.

#523

⇓

Know what he doesn't get? I could have been a janitor anywhere.

#524

⇓

When I got out of college, I had offers. Morgan Stanley, DuPont.

#525

⇓

When I got out of college, I had offers. Morgan Stanley, DuPont.

#526

⇓

I even considered taking a year off and cleaning my way across Europe.

#527

⇓

I even considered taking a year off and cleaning my way across Europe.

#528

⇓

But no, I chose a hospital.

#529

⇓

I'm not kidding myself. I don't have the most important job in the world,

#530

⇓

I'm not kidding myself. I don't have the most important job in the world,

#531

⇓

but I work in a place that helps people, and I always thought I was part of that.

#532

⇓

but I work in a place that helps people, and I always thought I was part of that.

#533

⇓

Who cares?

#534

⇓

Who cares?

#535

⇓

- Have you seen Carla? - Nope.

#536

⇓

- Have you seen Carla? - Nope.

#537

⇓

My turn. Have you seen how stupid you look when you do your angry quick-walk?

#538

⇓

My turn. Have you seen how stupid you look when you do your angry quick-walk?

#539

⇓

Carla covered for one of my interns and then lied to my face about it.

#540

⇓

Carla covered for one of my interns and then lied to my face about it.

#541

⇓

Come on. Of course she did.

#542

⇓

If an intern got hammered and stripped of what little self-confidence they have

#543

⇓

If an intern got hammered and stripped of what little self-confidence they have

#544

⇓

every time they messed up, there wouldn't be any.

#545

⇓

every time they messed up, there wouldn't be any.

#546

⇓

Luckily, Carla happens to have been here long enough

#547

⇓

Luckily, Carla happens to have been here long enough

#548

⇓

to identify when someone needs to be protected.

#549

⇓

to identify when someone needs to be protected.

#550

⇓

- These kids need to stand on their... - You got that right.

#551

⇓

Because you definitely got where you are on your own.

#552

⇓

Because you definitely got where you are on your own.

#553

⇓

- You sure didn't give me any help. - I didn't say I did.

#554

⇓

- You sure didn't give me any help. - I didn't say I did.

#555

⇓

It's OK. It's not a big deal.

#556

⇓

- But Dr Cox is gonna kill me. - Dr Cox doesn't have to find out.

#557

⇓

- But Dr Cox is gonna kill me. - Dr Cox doesn't have to find out.

#558

⇓

Promise you'll practise repositioning the Swans.

#559

⇓

Promise you'll practise repositioning the Swans.

#560

⇓

- I promise. - OK.

#561

⇓

- I promise. - OK.

#562

⇓

Turk, I get it.

#563

⇓

Turk, I get it.

#564

⇓

Having a baby changes things.

#565

⇓

I just don't want to say goodbye to the life we have now.

#566

⇓

I just don't want to say goodbye to the life we have now.

#567

⇓

Baby, you don't have to.

#568

⇓

We'll still have fun, go to bars, go dancing...

#569

⇓

We'll still have fun, go to bars, go dancing...

#570

⇓

- Really? - No.

#571

⇓

- Really? - No.

#572

⇓

We'll have a baby. That would be crazy.

#573

⇓

Just focus on the positives. For instance, we'll still have lots of sex.

#574

⇓

Just focus on the positives. For instance, we'll still have lots of sex.

#575

⇓

Just focus on the positives. For instance, we'll still have lots of sex.

#576

⇓

- Really? - No!

#577

⇓

But I can tell you that this is normal.

#578

⇓

But I can tell you that this is normal.

#579

⇓

You'll get through it.

#580

⇓

You'll get through it.

#581

⇓

Come to think of it, what would really help me get through it...

#582

⇓

Come to think of it, what would really help me get through it...

#583

⇓

Come to think of it, what would really help me get through it...

#584

⇓

Man, you're gullible today.

#585

⇓

Man, you're gullible today.

#586

⇓

Well, Mr McNair, I hope you don't mind me hanging out all day talking to you.

#587

⇓

Well, Mr McNair, I hope you don't mind me hanging out all day talking to you.

#588

⇓

Well, Mr McNair, I hope you don't mind me hanging out all day talking to you.

#589

⇓

I don't think you do mind. I got a seventh sense about that.

#590

⇓

I don't think you do mind. I got a seventh sense about that.

#591

⇓

My sixth sense is I can tell when squirrels are afraid.

#592

⇓

Anyway, I know you lost your computer

#593

⇓

Anyway, I know you lost your computer

#594

⇓

and I thought maybe you were a little bit Ionely.

#595

⇓

and I thought maybe you were a little bit Ionely.

#596

⇓

I've been Ionely around here a couple times.

#597

⇓

I've been Ionely around here a couple times.

#598

⇓

I don't know. I just hope I helped.

#599

⇓

I don't know. I just hope I helped.

#600

⇓

Nobody's buying it. Your new computer is finally here. Sorry it took so long.

#601

⇓

Nobody's buying it. Your new computer is finally here. Sorry it took so long.

#602

⇓

- What time is it? - 6.00.

#603

⇓

- What time is it? - 6.00.

#604

⇓

How was your day?

#605

⇓

How was your day?

#606

⇓

Cold.

#607

⇓

Now help him up so he thinks there's hope for our relationship yet.

#608

⇓

Now help him up so he thinks there's hope for our relationship yet.

#609

⇓

Even though the Janitor had basically kidnapped me,

#610

⇓

when he helped me up, I felt there was hope for our relationship yet.

#611

⇓

when he helped me up, I felt there was hope for our relationship yet.

#612

⇓

when he helped me up, I felt there was hope for our relationship yet.

#613

⇓

Being locked up all day makes you appreciate the things that matter.

#614

⇓

Being locked up all day makes you appreciate the things that matter.

#615

⇓

Did I ever thank you for all the help you've given me over the years?

#616

⇓

Did I ever thank you for all the help you've given me over the years?

#617

⇓

Don't sweat it.

#618

⇓

Don't sweat it.

#619

⇓

Like the support of a friend.

#620

⇓

The importance of family.

#621

⇓

The importance of family.

#622

⇓

What up, dawg?

#623

⇓

You know I'm down to play ball,

#624

⇓

You know I'm down to play ball,

#625

⇓

I just gotta drop Junior off with old lady at the ducky park, yeah.

#626

⇓

I just gotta drop Junior off with old lady at the ducky park, yeah.

#627

⇓

Yeah, then we're gonna hoop it up.

#628

⇓

This isn't really gonna work for me. I can't do it. I can't.

#629

⇓

This isn't really gonna work for me. I can't do it. I can't.

#630

⇓

Or realizing you actually do make a difference.

#631

⇓

And there you go, Mr McNair.

#632

⇓

And there you go, Mr McNair.

#633

⇓

Thank you.

#634

⇓

Don't mention it.

#635

⇓

Don't mention it.

#636

⇓

I wasn't talking to you.

#637

⇓

I wasn't talking to you.

#638

⇓

Captions edited by Ai-Media ai-media.tv

#639

⇓