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Season 5, Episode 16 — My Bright Idea
A month ago, I shaved my head to show solidarity with a leukaemia patient.
#1
⇓
A month ago, I shaved my head to show solidarity with a leukaemia patient.
#2
⇓
Of course, there were ramifications.
#3
⇓
Of course, there were ramifications.
#4
⇓
Hello, I'm your doctor.
#5
⇓
Hello, I'm your doctor.
#6
⇓
# Hare Krishna... #
#7
⇓
Oh, no, no. I know I've got the hair, but I'm not one of you... people.
#8
⇓
Oh, no, no. I know I've got the hair, but I'm not one of you... people.
#9
⇓
Hello. How are you? Well, I have been known to tambour.
#10
⇓
Hello. How are you? Well, I have been known to tambour.
#11
⇓
# Hare Krishna He's a Krishna
#12
⇓
# Hare Krishna He's a Krishna
#13
⇓
# The best Krishna. #
#14
⇓
After our tambourine jam, they gave me some literature,
#15
⇓
After our tambourine jam, they gave me some literature,
#16
⇓
but I'm not the type easily sucked in by that stuff.
#17
⇓
but I'm not the type easily sucked in by that stuff.
#18
⇓
- Morning, Dr Dorian. - Praise be to Krishna!
#19
⇓
Damn it!
#20
⇓
Damn it!
#21
⇓
Hey, Mr Coleman, how are you feeling?
#22
⇓
Hey, Mr Coleman, how are you feeling?
#23
⇓
# They call me mellow yellow... #
#24
⇓
# They call me mellow yellow... #
#25
⇓
Mr Coleman, the hepatitis is doing a number on your liver,
#26
⇓
Mr Coleman, the hepatitis is doing a number on your liver,
#27
⇓
you're obviously very jaundiced...
#28
⇓
Yellow! Oh, "mellow yellow", I get it! That's funny.
#29
⇓
Yellow! Oh, "mellow yellow", I get it! That's funny.
#30
⇓
I never knew what that song was about.
#31
⇓
Now I finally get it. Liver disease.
#32
⇓
We're gonna give you suppressive therapy and do everything we can
#33
⇓
We're gonna give you suppressive therapy and do everything we can
#34
⇓
to make sure you don't need a liver transplant, OK?
#35
⇓
to make sure you don't need a liver transplant, OK?
#36
⇓
- OK. - All right. We'll see you, Mr Coleman.
#37
⇓
- OK. - All right. We'll see you, Mr Coleman.
#38
⇓
Unfortunately, a month later...
#39
⇓
- Let's hear it. - Frank, we have no more options.
#40
⇓
- Let's hear it. - Frank, we have no more options.
#41
⇓
We gotta get you a new liver.
#42
⇓
So how's the boy toy thing going?
#43
⇓
So how's the boy toy thing going?
#44
⇓
I'm thinking of trading Perry in for a younger model.
#45
⇓
We're getting kind of serious...
#46
⇓
We're getting kind of serious...
#47
⇓
Excuse me, I need a moment of silence so I can get into a meditative state
#48
⇓
Excuse me, I need a moment of silence so I can get into a meditative state
#49
⇓
where I block out any irritating white noise.
#50
⇓
I call it my happy place.
#51
⇓
I call it my happy place.
#52
⇓
You know, it's kind of rude...
#53
⇓
- I understand you... - Sweetie, he can't hear you.
#54
⇓
Really?
#55
⇓
Really?
#56
⇓
I was the one who puked on your Porsche
#57
⇓
after Turk and Carla's wedding.
#58
⇓
after Turk and Carla's wedding.
#59
⇓
That has been eating at me for two years. Anyway...
#60
⇓
That has been eating at me for two years. Anyway...
#61
⇓
Keith is great. The only problem is his last name.
#62
⇓
Keith is great. The only problem is his last name.
#63
⇓
- It's... Dudemeister. - Oh, that doesn't even sound real.
#64
⇓
- It's... Dudemeister. - Oh, that doesn't even sound real.
#65
⇓
It's German, Dudemeister. It means "master of dudes."
#66
⇓
It's German, Dudemeister. It means "master of dudes."
#67
⇓
One of the reasons I divorced Perry was his last name.
#68
⇓
One of the reasons I divorced Perry was his last name.
#69
⇓
- You don't like Cox? - Actually, I love Cox.
#70
⇓
- You don't like Cox? - Actually, I love Cox.
#71
⇓
Greatest conversation ever.
#72
⇓
- See, that's the problem. - This sausage is huge!
#73
⇓
- See, that's the problem. - This sausage is huge!
#74
⇓
Excuse me, ladies. I'm needed elsewhere.
#75
⇓
Excuse me, ladies. I'm needed elsewhere.
#76
⇓
The four of us should go out for a drink sometime.
#77
⇓
- We're free tonight. - It's a couple date.
#78
⇓
- We're free tonight. - It's a couple date.
#79
⇓
Done!
#80
⇓
Something horrible just happened.
#81
⇓
Something horrible just happened.
#82
⇓
All right, buddy. Today's the day.
#83
⇓
All right, buddy. Today's the day.
#84
⇓
The amazing thing about livers is that a person with a healthy one
#85
⇓
The amazing thing about livers is that a person with a healthy one
#86
⇓
can have part of it removed and give it to somebody else.
#87
⇓
can have part of it removed and give it to somebody else.
#88
⇓
For Frank, that person was his brother, Marc.
#89
⇓
Hey, someone order liver?
#90
⇓
Jell-O? Jell-O? Is this thing on? Jell-O?
#91
⇓
Jell-O? Jell-O? Is this thing on? Jell-O?
#92
⇓
That was good.
#93
⇓
Marc was a stand-up comic on a cruise ship.
#94
⇓
If I'm not careful, they'll put me in the pun-itentiary.
#95
⇓
If I'm not careful, they'll put me in the pun-itentiary.
#96
⇓
He was a genius.
#97
⇓
Thanks for doing this for me, man.
#98
⇓
Thanks for doing this for me, man.
#99
⇓
What's mine is yours, little bro. You know that.
#100
⇓
- I didn't get that one. - Me neither.
#101
⇓
If you ever donated a body part to me, you know which one I'd want?
#102
⇓
If you ever donated a body part to me, you know which one I'd want?
#103
⇓
Thanks for the butt, player!
#104
⇓
Thanks for the butt, player!
#105
⇓
You better have a reason for taking my man's badonkadonkdonk.
#106
⇓
I do, Carla. I'm building something.
#107
⇓
I do, Carla. I'm building something.
#108
⇓
- What? - A brick house
#109
⇓
- What? - A brick house
#110
⇓
It's mighty, mighty just lettin' it all hang out
#111
⇓
It's mighty, mighty just lettin' it all hang out
#112
⇓
She's a brick house
#113
⇓
She's a brick house
#114
⇓
Dr Turk, Todd needs you in the lab.
#115
⇓
Dr Turk, Todd needs you in the lab.
#116
⇓
Tell Todd he can kiss my big black ass.
#117
⇓
Tell Todd he can kiss my big black ass.
#118
⇓
- I bet you wish you could say that. - I do!
#119
⇓
- I bet you wish you could say that. - I do!
#120
⇓
(theme song)
#121
⇓
(theme song)
#122
⇓
These gowns do not protect the fellas against a cool breeze, do they?
#123
⇓
These gowns do not protect the fellas against a cool breeze, do they?
#124
⇓
These gowns do not protect the fellas against a cool breeze, do they?
#125
⇓
You'll get used to it.
#126
⇓
We'll be back to check on you later, all right?
#127
⇓
We'll be back to check on you later, all right?
#128
⇓
OK. We'll be the guys that look like us.
#129
⇓
- How does he come up with this stuff?
#130
⇓
- He could be a dynamite centre square.
#131
⇓
- He could be a dynamite centre square.
#132
⇓
Dude, four more hours and I am off.
#133
⇓
You mean, we are off. I changed my schedule,
#134
⇓
You mean, we are off. I changed my schedule,
#135
⇓
which means I have Thursday nights off, we are going out.
#136
⇓
which means I have Thursday nights off, we are going out.
#137
⇓
You'll be my wing man, even though you're horrible at it.
#138
⇓
When have I been a bad wing man?
#139
⇓
When have I been a bad wing man?
#140
⇓
Dude, are you sure this isn't offensive?
#141
⇓
Dude, are you sure this isn't offensive?
#142
⇓
Nobody else is wearing a costume.
#143
⇓
Buddy, relax. These are my guys, all right?
#144
⇓
Buddy, relax. These are my guys, all right?
#145
⇓
As long you're with me, they'll find this funny.
#146
⇓
As long you're with me, they'll find this funny.
#147
⇓
All right.
#148
⇓
That looks like Talia.
#149
⇓
That looks like Talia.
#150
⇓
What's up?!
#151
⇓
What's up?!
#152
⇓
My bad, my bad.
#153
⇓
That wasn't Talia.
#154
⇓
Every time I saw them, they yelled "cracker."
#155
⇓
Every time I saw them, they yelled "cracker."
#156
⇓
How did they know I like crackers?
#157
⇓
Please don't make me go out with Barbie and, yes,
#158
⇓
Please don't make me go out with Barbie and, yes,
#159
⇓
I know it's too easy, Ken.
#160
⇓
But we haven't gone out with another couple in over a year.
#161
⇓
But we haven't gone out with another couple in over a year.
#162
⇓
Jordan, there's a reason for that.
#163
⇓
Jordan, there's a reason for that.
#164
⇓
Whoa, whoa. Slow down there, big guy.
#165
⇓
Whoa, whoa. Slow down there, big guy.
#166
⇓
Why, Zeltzer? It's not like I'm driving.
#167
⇓
Why, Zeltzer? It's not like I'm driving.
#168
⇓
I know, but there was a roofie in it.
#169
⇓
I'm not sure if I'm OK with that.
#170
⇓
Three, two, one...
#171
⇓
Party time.
#172
⇓
I think we should give them another chance.
#173
⇓
I think we should give them another chance.
#174
⇓
Nurse Espinosa, I need your help with something.
#175
⇓
Nurse Espinosa, I need your help with something.
#176
⇓
My dog, Baxter, passed away last night.
#177
⇓
I've dealt with it emotionally, but I can't stop crying.
#178
⇓
I've dealt with it emotionally, but I can't stop crying.
#179
⇓
I need you to run interference for me.
#180
⇓
I need you to run interference for me.
#181
⇓
Keep people from seeing me vulnerable.
#182
⇓
So you think I'll automatically do this?
#183
⇓
So you think I'll automatically do this?
#184
⇓
You think my ego is so big
#185
⇓
that I'll be flattered that I'm the only one you open up to?
#186
⇓
that I'll be flattered that I'm the only one you open up to?
#187
⇓
I'll do it.
#188
⇓
- Wish us luck, guys. - Good luck, fellas.
#189
⇓
- All the best. - I'm rooting for you.
#190
⇓
- All the best. - I'm rooting for you.
#191
⇓
And I will see you, my friend, later.
#192
⇓
Wonderful.
#193
⇓
What are you gonna do? Stay up late, eat raw cookie dough,
#194
⇓
What are you gonna do? Stay up late, eat raw cookie dough,
#195
⇓
and pinkie swear your diet will start tomorrow?
#196
⇓
What is your problem?
#197
⇓
What is your problem?
#198
⇓
Jordan's forcing me to double date with the Dudemeisters.
#199
⇓
Jordan's forcing me to double date with the Dudemeisters.
#200
⇓
'Cause of J.D., I gotta miss Turk Night.
#201
⇓
I have three nights off during the week.
#202
⇓
I have three nights off during the week.
#203
⇓
Two of those, Carla has off too, so we do married stuff.
#204
⇓
Two of those, Carla has off too, so we do married stuff.
#205
⇓
Fighting, bickering and the occasional quickie.
#206
⇓
Exactly. But Thursday nights, I got the apartment to myself.
#207
⇓
Exactly. But Thursday nights, I got the apartment to myself.
#208
⇓
So, you know, I come home...
#209
⇓
So, you know, I come home...
#210
⇓
I walk in the door.
#211
⇓
I immediately get comfortable.
#212
⇓
I immediately get comfortable.
#213
⇓
Then I take care of all my busy work,
#214
⇓
Then I take care of all my busy work,
#215
⇓
case dictations, patient charts, everything.
#216
⇓
case dictations, patient charts, everything.
#217
⇓
Then I watch whatever's on ESPN.
#218
⇓
- Stay tuned for more Gilmore Girls. - Mothers and daughters.
#219
⇓
- Stay tuned for more Gilmore Girls. - Mothers and daughters.
#220
⇓
They speak so fast but they speak so true.
#221
⇓
They speak so fast but they speak so true.
#222
⇓
Then I make some important work calls.
#223
⇓
Then I make some important work calls.
#224
⇓
- Did you see it? - I am so mad at Lorelai,
#225
⇓
I can't even talk right now.
#226
⇓
I can't even talk right now.
#227
⇓
That's Turk Night.
#228
⇓
God, you're boring.
#229
⇓
- Hey. Just need to talk to Kelso. - You can't come in.
#230
⇓
- Hey. Just need to talk to Kelso. - You can't come in.
#231
⇓
Why?
#232
⇓
- I have no pants on. - He spilled coffee on them.
#233
⇓
- I have no pants on. - He spilled coffee on them.
#234
⇓
Wish I didn't have to see those pale legs.
#235
⇓
Wish I didn't have to see those pale legs.
#236
⇓
Ask for a new label maker in the pharmacy.
#237
⇓
The P is broken and nobody knows what "enicillin" is.
#238
⇓
The P is broken and nobody knows what "enicillin" is.
#239
⇓
- Sir, she just wants... - Just tell her no.
#240
⇓
- Sir, she just wants... - Just tell her no.
#241
⇓
- But, sir... - If it makes you feel better,
#242
⇓
- But, sir... - If it makes you feel better,
#243
⇓
you can pretend you're fighting for her. Yell, "Hear me out, Bob."
#244
⇓
- Hear me out, you old jackass. - No ad-libbing.
#245
⇓
- Hear me out, you old jackass. - No ad-libbing.
#246
⇓
Now send her packing.
#247
⇓
Now send her packing.
#248
⇓
- He said yes. - Coolio!
#249
⇓
You think you're funny.
#250
⇓
My job is to spend the day saying "no" to people,
#251
⇓
My job is to spend the day saying "no" to people,
#252
⇓
and now that you have let a "yes" spread out into the world,
#253
⇓
and now that you have let a "yes" spread out into the world,
#254
⇓
you have opened the floodgates.
#255
⇓
you have opened the floodgates.
#256
⇓
- Can we have Bibles in the rooms? - No.
#257
⇓
- Can we have Bibles in the rooms? - No.
#258
⇓
- Can I get a better hands-free headset? - No.
#259
⇓
- Can I get a better hands-free headset? - No.
#260
⇓
Can I be allowed back in the men's locker room?
#261
⇓
Can I be allowed back in the men's locker room?
#262
⇓
- Can I get some new work boots? - No.
#263
⇓
- Can I get some new work boots? - No.
#264
⇓
Guess the old ones work. I do have more requests.
#265
⇓
Guess the old ones work. I do have more requests.
#266
⇓
I need an anvil, barbed wire, and a bow and arrow.
#267
⇓
- How about a sled dog? - No.
#268
⇓
- How about a sled dog? - No.
#269
⇓
- Cowboy hat? - No.
#270
⇓
- Javelin? Ferris wheel? Stun gun? - No.
#271
⇓
- Javelin? Ferris wheel? Stun gun? - No.
#272
⇓
- Pelican. - No!
#273
⇓
I'll be on the couch napping.
#274
⇓
I'll be on the couch napping.
#275
⇓
Sweetie, calm down.
#276
⇓
If you're miserable, you can talk to me, OK?
#277
⇓
If you're miserable, you can talk to me, OK?
#278
⇓
I won't abandon you, all right?
#279
⇓
I won't abandon you, all right?
#280
⇓
- My God! I love your necklace! - I got it from the Indians in the park.
#281
⇓
- My God! I love your necklace! - I got it from the Indians in the park.
#282
⇓
Let's go to the bathroom, you can try it on.
#283
⇓
Hey, Dr Cox, can you get me a beer? I forgot my I.D.
#284
⇓
Hey, Dr Cox, can you get me a beer? I forgot my I.D.
#285
⇓
I can't believe people hang out at bowling alleys.
#286
⇓
It's great. Surround yourself with new friends,
#287
⇓
It's great. Surround yourself with new friends,
#288
⇓
you say one clever thing, and you're in. Watch this.
#289
⇓
you say one clever thing, and you're in. Watch this.
#290
⇓
You guys, let's tally it up. Gather around.
#291
⇓
You guys, let's tally it up. Gather around.
#292
⇓
Whoa, Carol! 180! Amazing.
#293
⇓
Whoa, Carol! 180! Amazing.
#294
⇓
Lisa, you had a 125.
#295
⇓
- Turk, 192. - That's how we do.
#296
⇓
- Turk, 192. - That's how we do.
#297
⇓
And I bowled a gentleman's 40.
#298
⇓
And I bowled a gentleman's 40.
#299
⇓
Now, who wants to help me off with my shoes?
#300
⇓
I forgot to wear socks.
#301
⇓
I forgot to wear socks.
#302
⇓
I'm losing them.
#303
⇓
I'm losing them.
#304
⇓
If you ladies remain in this area, we'll bring back drinks.
#305
⇓
If you ladies remain in this area, we'll bring back drinks.
#306
⇓
- Nice save. - Thank you.
#307
⇓
- Krishnas. - Relax, they'll never recognise you.
#308
⇓
- Krishnas. - Relax, they'll never recognise you.
#309
⇓
Good to see you again.
#310
⇓
Good to see you again.
#311
⇓
What's up?
#312
⇓
I hate it when Keith wears that shirt.
#313
⇓
We get it. You like sports.
#314
⇓
We get it. You like sports.
#315
⇓
Sweetie, you have to dress your man.
#316
⇓
Sweetie, you have to dress your man.
#317
⇓
For God's sake, Perry walked out of the house tonight in a hockey jersey.
#318
⇓
For God's sake, Perry walked out of the house tonight in a hockey jersey.
#319
⇓
Dr Cox, when you first...
#320
⇓
Hey, you. Make an effort.
#321
⇓
You may tell me who your favourite sports team is. Keep it short.
#322
⇓
You may tell me who your favourite sports team is. Keep it short.
#323
⇓
Detroit Red Wings.
#324
⇓
Detroit Red Wings.
#325
⇓
For the next 20 minutes, you will sit in silence
#326
⇓
For the next 20 minutes, you will sit in silence
#327
⇓
while I tell you why the Detroit Red Wings
#328
⇓
are the greatest franchise in the history of sports.
#329
⇓
are the greatest franchise in the history of sports.
#330
⇓
On September 25, 1926...
#331
⇓
On September 25, 1926...
#332
⇓
Look at you, man!
#333
⇓
Your colour's back. There's no sign of infection.
#334
⇓
Your colour's back. There's no sign of infection.
#335
⇓
I feel great.
#336
⇓
- You look great, man. I'm glad. - Thanks.
#337
⇓
- You look great, man. I'm glad. - Thanks.
#338
⇓
Unfortunately, things weren't going as well for Marc.
#339
⇓
He's hypotensive and tachycardic.
#340
⇓
Sometimes, that's the way life works.
#341
⇓
The person who does the nice thing is the one who suffers most.
#342
⇓
The person who does the nice thing is the one who suffers most.
#343
⇓
Whether it's giving up Turk Night for a friend...
#344
⇓
Whether it's giving up Turk Night for a friend...
#345
⇓
Christopher, why haven't you finished your case reports?
#346
⇓
Christopher, why haven't you finished your case reports?
#347
⇓
Sorry, I was gonna do them last night,
#348
⇓
but I wound up going out with my buddy.
#349
⇓
but I wound up going out with my buddy.
#350
⇓
Just get them done.
#351
⇓
Or going out with an intern to make your wife happy.
#352
⇓
Or going out with an intern to make your wife happy.
#353
⇓
Oh, hey, Dr Cox, we're going for coffee. Want to come?
#354
⇓
Oh, hey, Dr Cox, we're going for coffee. Want to come?
#355
⇓
Get the hell away from me.
#356
⇓
Get the hell away from me.
#357
⇓
Why are you all smiling?
#358
⇓
Keith said you'd be mean, but then you'd tell us sports stories.
#359
⇓
Keith said you'd be mean, but then you'd tell us sports stories.
#360
⇓
Oh, my God!
#361
⇓
Oh, my God!
#362
⇓
Hi.
#363
⇓
Hi.
#364
⇓
Or agreeing to be the bad guy for your boss.
#365
⇓
- I'm still... - Oh, come on!
#366
⇓
When you're the one who ends up paying the price,
#367
⇓
it can make you wonder...
#368
⇓
it can make you wonder...
#369
⇓
He's bleeding out. Prep the O.R.
#370
⇓
Can I have the crash cart in here?
#371
⇓
Can I have the crash cart in here?
#372
⇓
... was it worth it?
#373
⇓
One of the ligation sutures came undone, but we got it in time.
#374
⇓
One of the ligation sutures came undone, but we got it in time.
#375
⇓
- He should be fine now. - Nurse, call me if there's any change.
#376
⇓
- He should be fine now. - Nurse, call me if there's any change.
#377
⇓
- How awesome was last night? - You got bowled by my frat brothers.
#378
⇓
We're cool. They invited me to this alumni thing in January.
#379
⇓
We're cool. They invited me to this alumni thing in January.
#380
⇓
- The Martin Luther King Fling? - Sounds hot.
#381
⇓
- The Martin Luther King Fling? - Sounds hot.
#382
⇓
We're going out Thursday, right? I got a Magic Eight Ball bowling ball.
#383
⇓
We're going out Thursday, right? I got a Magic Eight Ball bowling ball.
#384
⇓
Check it. Are the ladies gonna love this?
#385
⇓
Check it. Are the ladies gonna love this?
#386
⇓
"Ask again later"? I'm just kidding. It says yes.
#387
⇓
- Thursday night might not work. - You're going. Where are the interns?
#388
⇓
- Thursday night might not work. - You're going. Where are the interns?
#389
⇓
They're with Dr Cox. Apparently, he's mentoring and talking to them.
#390
⇓
They're with Dr Cox. Apparently, he's mentoring and talking to them.
#391
⇓
What?!
#392
⇓
What?!
#393
⇓
OK, that's it!
#394
⇓
OK, that's it!
#395
⇓
This right here is the "get hit" line. Cross it at your own risk.
#396
⇓
This right here is the "get hit" line. Cross it at your own risk.
#397
⇓
When do you turn nice? This is getting kind of old.
#398
⇓
When do you turn nice? This is getting kind of old.
#399
⇓
Never, Leslie.
#400
⇓
He knows my name!
#401
⇓
I was calling you by a random girl's name.
#402
⇓
Listen, please.
#403
⇓
I don't care about any of your problems.
#404
⇓
I don't care about any of your problems.
#405
⇓
I have no answers for any of you.
#406
⇓
I have no answers for any of you.
#407
⇓
But my boyfriend is bi-curious and he wants me to pick his lovers.
#408
⇓
But my boyfriend is bi-curious and he wants me to pick his lovers.
#409
⇓
I might have an answer for that.
#410
⇓
I might have an answer for that.
#411
⇓
I mean, come on, children.
#412
⇓
What do you actually think is going to happen here?
#413
⇓
What do you actually think is going to happen here?
#414
⇓
Do you think I'm going to take you and sit you down next to me and say,
#415
⇓
Do you think I'm going to take you and sit you down next to me and say,
#416
⇓
Do you think I'm going to take you and sit you down next to me and say,
#417
⇓
"Listen, if you need anything, you've got my pager.
#418
⇓
"Listen, if you need anything, you've got my pager.
#419
⇓
Just know that I'm there for you always"?
#420
⇓
Just know that I'm there for you always"?
#421
⇓
Oh, my God.
#422
⇓
Oh, my God.
#423
⇓
- Newbie! - No! Zip it!
#424
⇓
I am so G-darn pissed right now.
#425
⇓
I am so G-darn pissed right now.
#426
⇓
I was OK when you kept me at an arm's length,
#427
⇓
I was OK when you kept me at an arm's length,
#428
⇓
because everybody said, "That's Cox. That's how he operates."
#429
⇓
because everybody said, "That's Cox. That's how he operates."
#430
⇓
And I believed them.
#431
⇓
But now I walk in on this...
#432
⇓
But now I walk in on this...
#433
⇓
...this bi-racial love fest.
#434
⇓
...this bi-racial love fest.
#435
⇓
You know what? I hate to do it,
#436
⇓
but I'm giving you back "the pencil." That's right.
#437
⇓
but I'm giving you back "the pencil." That's right.
#438
⇓
The pencil you gave me on my third day of work.
#439
⇓
The pencil you gave me on my third day of work.
#440
⇓
You handed it off to me like a tiny yellow baton,
#441
⇓
You handed it off to me like a tiny yellow baton,
#442
⇓
like you were trying to say to me, "J.D., you are the new me.
#443
⇓
like you were trying to say to me, "J.D., you are the new me.
#444
⇓
You, J.D., are my mentee.
#445
⇓
You... are my son."
#446
⇓
You... are my son."
#447
⇓
What pencil?
#448
⇓
Oh, that's perfect.
#449
⇓
Oh, that's perfect.
#450
⇓
That's perfect.
#451
⇓
You know what? Take it.
#452
⇓
You know what? Take it.
#453
⇓
Maybe you can use it with Rex or Gloria or...
#454
⇓
Maybe you can use it with Rex or Gloria or...
#455
⇓
...that guy.
#456
⇓
That guy's name is Leslie.
#457
⇓
That guy's name is Leslie.
#458
⇓
His name is Leslie.
#459
⇓
His name is Leslie.
#460
⇓
His name is Leslie.
#461
⇓
Your name is Leslie. All right. Good for you, Leslie!
#462
⇓
Your name is Leslie. All right. Good for you, Leslie!
#463
⇓
Leslie!
#464
⇓
Leslie!
#465
⇓
So do you think everybody's still mad at me?
#466
⇓
I...
#467
⇓
I...
#468
⇓
Guys, come on! I'm the only one giving the evil eye!
#469
⇓
Guys, come on! I'm the only one giving the evil eye!
#470
⇓
We worked on this. Hey, Ted, you're giving sad eye.
#471
⇓
- It's all I've got! - I don't believe that.
#472
⇓
- It's all I've got! - I don't believe that.
#473
⇓
Now, come on. Let's suck it up.
#474
⇓
Now, come on. Let's suck it up.
#475
⇓
Dig deep. Concentrate, and just...
#476
⇓
And break.
#477
⇓
And break.
#478
⇓
Nice. Very nice, guys. Even you.
#479
⇓
I just thought about flat boobies and it made me mad.
#480
⇓
I just thought about flat boobies and it made me mad.
#481
⇓
What do I have to do to make it up to you?
#482
⇓
What do I have to do to make it up to you?
#483
⇓
Go, Ted.
#484
⇓
We want tickets to the Latin Grammys.
#485
⇓
We figured you might know someone.
#486
⇓
We figured you might know someone.
#487
⇓
- I don't. - Oh, Carla, please.
#488
⇓
- I don't. - Oh, Carla, please.
#489
⇓
Elliot, I don't!
#490
⇓
How about she buys rounds for everyone at the bar?
#491
⇓
How about she buys rounds for everyone at the bar?
#492
⇓
- Apple martinis? Cool. - That'd be fine. See you guys.
#493
⇓
- Apple martinis? Cool. - That'd be fine. See you guys.
#494
⇓
That was easy, yeah.
#495
⇓
Latin Grammys or nada.
#496
⇓
Latin Grammys or nada.
#497
⇓
Interns are looking for you.
#498
⇓
I know. I'm in my streets because I'm sneaking out,
#499
⇓
I know. I'm in my streets because I'm sneaking out,
#500
⇓
all because of couples' night.
#501
⇓
all because of couples' night.
#502
⇓
Speaking of couples' nights, I don't know if you and Jordan like camping,
#503
⇓
Speaking of couples' nights, I don't know if you and Jordan like camping,
#504
⇓
but this weekend, me, the wife and an interesting guy named Ron
#505
⇓
but this weekend, me, the wife and an interesting guy named Ron
#506
⇓
are heading out to the lake.
#507
⇓
- Keep moving, Zeltzer. - Rain check.
#508
⇓
- Keep moving, Zeltzer. - Rain check.
#509
⇓
So you gotta leave early?
#510
⇓
Thanks to Kelso,
#511
⇓
I gotta take the staff out for drinks so they don't hate me.
#512
⇓
I gotta take the staff out for drinks so they don't hate me.
#513
⇓
Thanks to J.D., I'll be up forever doing case reports.
#514
⇓
Thanks to J.D., I'll be up forever doing case reports.
#515
⇓
Plus I lost the one night off I looked forward to.
#516
⇓
Plus I lost the one night off I looked forward to.
#517
⇓
What about the two nights a week we spend together?
#518
⇓
Now I am so mad at J. D!
#519
⇓
Now I am so mad at J. D!
#520
⇓
That's it.
#521
⇓
We've got to let these people know.
#522
⇓
We've got to let these people know.
#523
⇓
Let's do this.
#524
⇓
Let's do it.
#525
⇓
Let's do it.
#526
⇓
I like this particular outfit
#527
⇓
I like this particular outfit
#528
⇓
because it's casual
#529
⇓
and the pant pockets are extra-deep, which is perfect for storing makeup.
#530
⇓
and the pant pockets are extra-deep, which is perfect for storing makeup.
#531
⇓
He's like a giant purse.
#532
⇓
He's like a giant purse.
#533
⇓
This shirt is itchy.
#534
⇓
Purses don't talk.
#535
⇓
Purses don't talk.
#536
⇓
Jordan, you promised this would never happen.
#537
⇓
Jordan, you promised this would never happen.
#538
⇓
How dare you?
#539
⇓
- Could we talk? - One sec.
#540
⇓
I just wanted to thank you for the other night.
#541
⇓
Since Perry and I had Jack, we don't get to go out that much as a couple,
#542
⇓
Since Perry and I had Jack, we don't get to go out that much as a couple,
#543
⇓
and it was really nice.
#544
⇓
and it was really nice.
#545
⇓
Don't tell anyone I'm nice.
#546
⇓
Don't tell anyone I'm nice.
#547
⇓
Dr Kelso, we need to talk.
#548
⇓
Dr Kelso, we need to talk.
#549
⇓
Baxter was a good dog.
#550
⇓
Baxter was a good dog.
#551
⇓
You never think you're gonna miss animals as much as you do.
#552
⇓
You never think you're gonna miss animals as much as you do.
#553
⇓
It was just nice having some creature in my life who never disappointed me,
#554
⇓
It was just nice having some creature in my life who never disappointed me,
#555
⇓
never judged me,
#556
⇓
never judged me,
#557
⇓
never showed up late at my 50th birthday party
#558
⇓
never showed up late at my 50th birthday party
#559
⇓
with freshly pierced nipples and a barely legal Filipino boy named Pogo,
#560
⇓
with freshly pierced nipples and a barely legal Filipino boy named Pogo,
#561
⇓
- my son Harrison. - I figured.
#562
⇓
Man's best friend, huh?
#563
⇓
Man's best friend, huh?
#564
⇓
They got that one right.
#565
⇓
At least you've stopped crying.
#566
⇓
At least you've stopped crying.
#567
⇓
No, not really.
#568
⇓
My body can't produce tears anymore, I've intentionally dehydrated myself.
#569
⇓
My body can't produce tears anymore, I've intentionally dehydrated myself.
#570
⇓
It's a risky move, I know,
#571
⇓
It's a risky move, I know,
#572
⇓
but Dr Jarvis here said it'll be all right.
#573
⇓
There's nobody standing behind you.
#574
⇓
There's nobody standing behind you.
#575
⇓
I'm going to need an IV.
#576
⇓
I'm going to need an IV.
#577
⇓
J.D., can I talk to you?
#578
⇓
J.D., can I talk to you?
#579
⇓
I can't right now. I gotta check on Frank.
#580
⇓
So are you missing the other half of your liver?
#581
⇓
So are you missing the other half of your liver?
#582
⇓
Oh, I'm not, but my gallbladder's pretty broken up about it.
#583
⇓
Oh, I'm not, but my gallbladder's pretty broken up about it.
#584
⇓
Apparently they had a thing.
#585
⇓
You've got a gift, man, a gift!
#586
⇓
You've got a gift, man, a gift!
#587
⇓
Did your brother freak out when you told him you almost died?
#588
⇓
I didn't tell Frank.
#589
⇓
I didn't tell Frank.
#590
⇓
Look at him. He's so happy.
#591
⇓
Look at him. He's so happy.
#592
⇓
If he knew what I went through, he'd feel terrible.
#593
⇓
If he knew what I went through, he'd feel terrible.
#594
⇓
Why would I wanna do that to him when I love him so much?
#595
⇓
Hey, Turk. You wanted to talk to me?
#596
⇓
Hey, Turk. You wanted to talk to me?
#597
⇓
- You wanted to talk to me? - You wanted to talk to me?
#598
⇓
- You wanted to talk to me? - You wanted to talk to me?
#599
⇓
Dr Cox, can we talk about something besides sports this time?
#600
⇓
Dr Cox, can we talk about something besides sports this time?
#601
⇓
You're OK.
#602
⇓
OK there, Keith,
#603
⇓
OK there, Keith,
#604
⇓
you may choose between good Scotch, ab workouts, or Lee Marvin movies.
#605
⇓
you may choose between good Scotch, ab workouts, or Lee Marvin movies.
#606
⇓
- And who over here needs a refill? - Yes, please.
#607
⇓
- Thanks for the 'tini, Carla. - You got it, mama.
#608
⇓
- Thanks for the 'tini, Carla. - You got it, mama.
#609
⇓
- Here you go, Grumpy. - Latin Grammys!
#610
⇓
- Here you go, Grumpy. - Latin Grammys!
#611
⇓
- Tell you the nominees. - Fabuloso.
#612
⇓
- Category? - Reggaeton.
#613
⇓
- Category? - Reggaeton.
#614
⇓
- Having a great time, man. - Me too, me too.
#615
⇓
- Having a great time, man. - Me too, me too.
#616
⇓
Cheers.
#617
⇓
Captions edited by Ai-Media www.ai-media.tv
#618
⇓
Captions edited by Ai-Media www.ai-media.tv
#619
⇓
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