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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S17E04 — Thought Leadership: A Corporate Conversation

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 17, Episode 4 — Thought Leadership: A Corporate Conversation

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: Thought Leadership: A Corporate Conversation

Air date: July 23, 2025

Director: Zachary Knighton

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

Desperate to stave off a public relations nightmare, the Gang embraces their newfound corporate professionalism to strategically scapegoat one Paddy's employee to fall on the proverbial sword.

Source: TMDB

↓

Just have a seat right there. Would you like a drink or...

drink seat

↓

- No. - No?

↓

How about a fresh glass of water?

fresh glass water

↓

I have to just go back and gather myself with my buddies

buddies gather

↓

- before we start this. Okay? - Okay.

start

↓

- Right. Good. - But we are on the clock.

clock

↓

Oh, yeah. And for the record, you know,

record

↓

you might want to jot down how well you're being treated

might treated

↓

at this professional establishment.

establishment professional

↓

- Frank, get over here. - Is she from the newspaper?

frank newspaper

↓

We are in big trouble.

trouble

↓

We gotta come up with a statement for this reporter.

reporter statement

↓

- She's gonna butcher us. - Yeah, this is bad.

butcher

↓

Why don't we play dumb? Why do we have to come up with a statement?

dumb statement

↓

Because they found 500 gallons of baby oil dumped in the Schuylkill River.

baby dumped found gallons river

↓

Wait. Dee might be right, 'cause they can't actually prove that that was us.

might prove

↓

Well, the 200 Paddy's pub T-shirts floating around in it

floating paddys shirts

↓

- aren't exactly helping our case, pal. - Yeah, not helping.

case helping

↓

This is a good thing. This could be our Paddy's-gate.

gate paddys

↓

- Okay, there you go. - No, but gates aren't a good thing.

gates

↓

I mean, Pizzagate, Watergate.

↓

- Nipplegate. Nipplegate. - Nipplegate.

↓

Janet Jackson's career was never the same.

career janet

↓

You're right, what happened...

happened

↓

- Some things you gotta keep covered up. - Based off that. Yeah.

based covered

↓

- We've gotta come up with a statement. - Guys, guys, guys, guys!

statement

↓

We can handle this.

handle

↓

I mean this is why we went to that corporate retreat in Idaho.

corporate idaho retreat

↓

- Hmm. - Right, right.

↓

We didn't go to the retreat so much as watched clips of it on YouTube,

clips retreat watched youtube

↓

but, you know, you're right, Mac. Normally a situation like this

normally situation

↓

would have me clawing all your faces off.

faces

↓

But I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna utilize my words.

utilize words

↓

I do see your hand is still in a bit of a claw.

claw hand

↓

Yeah, I was ready to pounce.

ready

↓

I had it hidden behind my head. I was ready...

behind head hidden ready

↓

- Yeah, I hid it behind my leg. - I had a feeling.

behind feeling

↓

- Should we un... - No, let's all unclaw our hands.

hands

↓

- Right? Because that was the old way. - Yeah, yeah.

↓

This is the new way, right?

↓

We've got the tools from the corporate retreat.

corporate retreat tools

↓

- We've got the vocabulary. - Yeah.

↓

We've got these awesome fleece vests inspired by the retreat.

awesome inspired retreat vests

↓

- Oh, my God, I love the fleece. - God, I love these vests.

love vests

↓

You can let it all go under here.

↓

I appreciate you springing for that, Frank. Thank you very much.

appreciate frank

↓

So, listen, we can handle this unpleasantry

handle

↓

with the grace and elegance of any major corporation

corporation grace major

↓

by utilizing a little thought leadership and simply talking this thing out.

leadership simply

↓

_

↓

First and foremost, the business must be protected at all times.

business must protected times

↓

- Yeah. - Yes.

↓

The business is infinitely more important than any individual.

business individual

↓

Yes, we are, of course, a family, but human emotion notwithstanding,

course emotion family human

↓

I would be remiss not to mention that we are a business first,

business mention

↓

and as a business, we must behave as such.

behave business must

↓

So I would like to posit, respectfully, of course, that we put forth an offering.

course forth offering respectfully

↓

- Yes, a lamb if you will. - No, I would say, uh,

lamb

↓

that lamb right now could be tender and delicious,

delicious lamb tender

↓

but we have kind of bigger issues that we're dealing with

bigger dealing issues

↓

that we need to discuss, and maybe, you know,

discuss

↓

eating lamb is not the best thing.

best eating lamb

↓

- Momentarily speaking. - Thank you for that, Charlie,

charlie momentarily speaking

↓

but of course I'm speaking of a sacrificial lamb.

course lamb speaking

↓

- Ah! - Maybe we need to

↓

walk through the series of events

events series walk

↓

of the incident to figure out who the fall guy should be,

fall figure incident

↓

and I would like to respectfully point out that the phrase is fall "guy."

fall phrase point respectfully

↓

Thank you for pointing out that gender inequity, Dee.

gender pointing

↓

And, henceforth, let's refer to that position

henceforth position refer

↓

- as "fall person." - Mmm.

fall person

↓

Or we could circle back to, uh, animal-related, uh, conversations.

animal circle conversations related

↓

We could consider "fall fish," uh, or "scapefish" or even "fall bird,"

bird consider fall fish

↓

and then we're back to Dee.

↓

Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry guys, but, um,

gosh

↓

but my hand is so tightly clenched into a claw.

claw clenched hand tightly

↓

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Same.

↓

- I'm feeling the claw again. - Same.

claw feeling

↓

All right, so why don't we do this? Let's all take a deep breath

breath deep deep-breath

↓

before we continue this conversation.

continue conversation

↓

Unclaw our hands.

hands

↓

I think Dee is right.

↓

I think we got to take this mess from the beginning to find out how we got here.

beginning mess

↓

- Uh-huh. - Find out who's really to blame.

blame

↓

Now, as you recall, it all started several weeks ago...

recall several started weeks

↓

Whoa!

whoa

↓

...when Frank found that jug out back.

found frank

↓

Yo, let me blow on that.

blow

↓

No, you make sounds when you bang on it, not blow on it.

bang blow sounds

↓

- No, you blow on it. - No, no. Yeah, yeah.

blow

↓

It sounds different when you put water...

sounds water

↓

- But it's gonna be much deeper, like... - No, no, no. He's right.

deeper

↓

- You don't blow on it... - If you blow on it like that, it gets...

blow

↓

You turn it upside-down...

upside

↓

You don't bang on it...

bang

↓

That led to a vigorous debate, which in turn led to vigorous clawing

debate

↓

until we decided to stop fighting and, you know, simply get our own jugs.

decided fighting jugs simply

↓

Annoyingly, however, the jugs were filled with fluid.

filled fluid jugs

↓

What are we supposed to do with all this fluid?

fluid supposed

↓

Uh... Yeah, can't really play them as an instrument until we...

instrument

↓

- Oh. - Yeah, that's a problem.

problem

↓

We could... w-wash the bar with it.

wash

↓

Uh, you don't wanna wash the bar with a... with a water-based liquid.

based liquid wash water

↓

- Make a fire and... - Plants love that.

fire love plants

↓

- Make a fire and put water... - Make a fire and put it out.

fire water

↓

What are you talking about? We're not gonna make a fire.

fire

↓

- Well, if we start a fire... - Why would we start a fire?

fire start

↓

So we... so we have a reason to use all this liquid.

liquid reason

↓

After an hour-long argument about the best way to dispose of the fluid,

argument best dispose fluid hour

↓

we caved and decided the best way to make the jugs empty

best decided empty jugs

↓

was to simply drink the water.

drink simply water

↓

Now if I'm braising something, is that a way to cook something,

cook

↓

or is that shellacking it?

↓

Like, am I putting sauce on it?

putting sauce

↓

The inadvertent effect of the watercooler

effect

↓

was not just hydration, but conversation.

conversation

↓

Is it about the sauce or the cooking technique or both?

cooking sauce technique

↓

- It's about the crisping. - About both.

↓

The water tank became a think tank for business scaffolding,

became business tank water

↓

as well as recent health initiatives and, you know, general interest.

general health interest recent

↓

Well, now I've taken to using baby oil almost exclusively when I get out of the shower.

baby shower taken using

↓

You know, I-I don't know if you guys know this,

↓

but you can actually put a tablespoon of baby oil in your coffee in the morning

baby coffee morning

↓

and it resets the pH balance of your gut biome.

balance

↓

You drink it?

drink

↓

You know, if you're gonna dump stuff, the best place is the ocean.

best dump ocean place stuff

↓

I mean, you know, in a pinch, you go to a lake or a river,

lake pinch river

↓

but you wanna get rid of something, ocean is the only way to go.

ocean

↓

Dennis, how do they get the oil out of the baby?

baby dennis

↓

Do they have to mash the babies up or grind them?

babies grind mash

↓

Is it babies that are sick and dying already, or what is the oil...

babies dying sick

↓

Don't be an idiot, Charlie. The babies are alive.

alive babies charlie idiot

↓

They just wring them out like an old rag.

wring

↓

The Cybertruck is by far the coolest piece of machinery

coolest cybertruck machinery piece

↓

that the space nerd has ever made. Right?

nerd space

↓

- Absolutely. - I love that truck.

absolutely love truck

↓

I'm furious that all cars don't look like that.

cars furious

↓

Dude, totally. You know what it is?

↓

It delivers on the promise of the future from our youth.

delivers future promise youth

↓

- Yes. - Right?

↓

We thought all cars were going to look like that back in the day.

cars

↓

Hard lines, sharp corners, DeLorean-like materials.

corners hard lines materials sharp

↓

Yeah, you know, it's the transportation fitting of a Terminator.

fitting transportation

↓

- Totally a Terminator. - Yeah, absolutely.

absolutely

↓

Yeah, it's like a rhombus on wheels.

wheels

↓

- Right, right. Absolutely. - That's right.

absolutely

↓

We were firing on all cylinders,

cylinders firing

↓

but things took a most exciting turn when one particular topic was raised.

exciting particular raised topic

↓

Gentlemen, what are your thoughts on slap fighting?

fighting gentlemen slap slap-fighting thoughts

↓

Slap fighting? I'm not aware of this.

aware fighting slap slap-fighting

↓

Oh. Well, let me tell you.

↓

Just like the Cybertruck is the future of transportation,

cybertruck future transportation

↓

slap fighting is the future of dispute mitigation.

fighting future slap slap-fighting

↓

And, my God, was he right. We had to try our hand at it.

hand

↓

- The Egyptians, they like the cats. - Yeah. They like them.

cats

↓

I know, but it's a... it's a cat-based society, you know what I mean?

based society

↓

Yeah, but I understand that. But...

↓

- The cats are a huge part of their thing. - They like the cats.

cats huge part

↓

Everybody loved it. We swapped out the clawing for slapping.

everybody everybody-loved loved slapping swapped

↓

I mean, we were using it to-to-to settle arguments.

arguments settle using

↓

We were using it to end the day, to start the day,

start using

↓

to say goodbye, to say hello...

goodbye

↓

...to celebrate, to mourn, everything, you know.

celebrate mourn

↓

But then Mac had a business idea.

business business-idea idea

↓

Gentlemen, let's discuss professional slap fighting.

discuss fighting gentlemen professional slap slap-fighting

↓

We were all slapped across the proverbial cheeks with this venture.

cheeks proverbial slapped venture

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

Take your shirts off, though.

shirts

↓

Whoa!

whoa

↓

It was his hand-face-based business venture

based business face hand venture

↓

that led to the off-lining of certain corporate assets

assets certain corporate lining

↓

into various aquatic bodies.

aquatic bodies various

↓

So, Mac is clearly the prime candidate to fall on the metaphorical sword here. Yes?

candidate fall prime sword

↓

- Yeah. Sounds good. - Sure. Well, yeah. That adds up, right?

adds sounds

↓

Mm-hmm. That does seem to be the proper mathing. Yes.

proper

↓

Yeah, I do... I do hear you guys on this.

↓

As long as we're outside of the earshot of this reporter,

reporter

↓

I'd like to add, you can stick this line of logic up your various assholes.

assholes line logic stick various

↓

Hmm.

↓

- All right, that's harsher language... - Interesting point.

interesting language point

↓

...than I thought we were allowed to use here, but...

allowed

↓

Also Dennis is leaving out a core friction point.

core dennis friction leaving point

↓

Things were going smoothly

↓

until Dennis pointed out that the whole thing sorely lacked eroticism.

dennis eroticism pointed whole

↓

Slaps and profits have gone up.

gone profits slaps

↓

- That's great. - Uh-huh.

↓

But chick saturation has gone down.

chick gone

↓

- That's not good. - Uh-uh.

↓

The whole thing is sorely lacking eroticism.

eroticism whole

↓

- The data is alarming. - Yeah.

alarming data

↓

- Yeah! Yeah, yeah. - Well, let's fix that.

↓

- Go on. - Yeah, yeah.

↓

He pitched something with the eroticism of mud wrestling

eroticism pitched wrestling

↓

and the aggression of a Cybertruck.

aggression cybertruck

↓

The world just has not delivered

delivered world

↓

on the future that we were promised when we were growing up.

future growing promised

↓

We were promised mud wrestling. We were promised wet T-shirt contests.

contests promised shirt wrestling

↓

We were promised women going wild.

promised wild women

↓

At a certain point, we stopped women from going wild.

certain certain-point point stopped wild women

↓

Why did we do that?

↓

- They wanna go wild. - They should go wild.

wild

↓

They want to go wild. Let's let them go wild.

wild

↓

They're too dry, and so they don't feel wild.

wild

↓

Yeah, exactly. Guys, let's get back to our core values.

core values

↓

Th-There is an underserved market for one-on-one erotic sport competition

competition erotic market sport

↓

between scantily-clad, oiled-up women.

oiled women

↓

He proposed pivoting away from dudes

dudes proposed

↓

and investing all of our resources more heavily into women and baby oil.

baby heavily investing resources women

↓

Whoa!

whoa

↓

This is why Dennis's head must roll. I compliment him on the innovation,

compliment denniss head innovation must roll

↓

but the idea was a little chunky, if I'm being honest.

chunky honest idea

↓

My personal distaste for women aside,

aside personal women

↓

I think you crapped the bed on the execution.

crapped execution

↓

We were over-leveraged in the baby oil department

baby department

↓

and subsequential environmental what-have-yous

environmental yous

↓

from the off-lining have left us in this particular situation.

left lining particular situation

↓

Which is why I nominate Dennis. Right time, right skull.

dennis skull

↓

- I like it. I like it. - I gotta say I'm impressed.

impressed

↓

You know, you're coming at me open-kimono here,

coming open

↓

and I appreciate that, so kudos, you know.

appreciate kudos

↓

But I do think we need to helicopter up, stretch the vantage point a little bit.

helicopter point stretch

↓

I think we need to chew on the key protein here,

chew protein

↓

- which I believe to be Dee. - Mmm.

believe

↓

With the women slappers in the bar, we were thriving,

thriving women

↓

but we weren't quite reaching the erotic escape velocity that I was hoping for.

erotic escape hoping reaching velocity

↓

I mean... really, all it is

↓

is there's one lingering problem with the women.

lingering problem women

↓

- What? They're ugly. - They're ugly.

ugly

↓

- I didn't wanna say it, but they are ugly. - Yeah.

ugly

↓

They're a bit gruff, aren't they?

↓

The big issue for me is you can't put baby oil on any of these women, you know.

baby issue women

↓

They'll bite you.

bite

↓

I had one almost bend my arm completely in half.

bend completely half

↓

- I tried to put baby oil on her and she... - I got pinned by her too, man.

baby pinned tried

↓

Yeah, yeah. So you know, like, chick saturation is up. That's good.

chick

↓

- But the attractive/oil saturation... - It's way down, yeah.

attractive

↓

- It's way down. - Way down. Why is that?

↓

So, we need to find a way to lure in hotter women.

hotter lure women

↓

Yeah, that's all it is. You know what I mean?

↓

Anybody got any ideas?

anybody ideas

↓

Back in the day when we were taking down all the aluminum siding,

aluminum siding

↓

what are we gonna do with all that asbestos that was left?

asbestos left

↓

- We dumped it in the Schuylkill. - Oh, you did?

dumped

↓

- Yeah. - Okay.

↓

But in order to get 'em to do it, we lured 'em in with a Cadillac.

cadillac lured order

↓

Oh!

↓

That's what you gotta do with the women.

women

↓

- You think we get these gals a Cadillac... - Yeah!

cadillac gals

↓

...and we say, you know, "You win a slap fight, you get a Cadillac"?

cadillac fight slap

↓

- Everybody needs money. - Wait.

everybody money needs

↓

I know exactly what we should do.

↓

Oh! I was thinking the same thing.

thinking

↓

I doubt it.

doubt

↓

Oh!

↓

Look at this thing. Oh, man. Frank, baby, this is quite the prize.

baby frank prize

↓

- Yeah. - Nicely done, Frank.

frank nicely

↓

- Yeah. - Wow.

↓

Look at the hard angles on this.

hard

↓

- Yeah. - It's beautiful, man.

↓

The Cybertruck lured in a much sexier talent pool.

cybertruck lured pool sexier talent

↓

We were really excited about the quality of slapper,

excited quality

↓

but there was one that stood out above all the others.

others stood

↓

I mean, we couldn't take our eyes off her.

eyes

↓

I can't wait to see the headlights on her.

↓

- Yeah! - Yeah.

↓

Yeah. Well, and you never will see 'em, Frank.

frank

↓

Because there's only one single headlight.

single

↓

- It's a single headlight, yeah. - Oh.

single

↓

We couldn't give her away. We had to have her.

↓

It wasn't long before we came up with a plan to retain her for ourselves.

plan retain

↓

We would just have to win the slap contest, you know.

contest slap

↓

We needed a ringer, someone to tear through these waifish models

models needed tear

↓

and ensure the truck would remain in our portfolio.

ensure portfolio remain truck

↓

Figure something out though.

figure

↓

What are you guys doing?

↓

Huh?

↓

Oh!

↓

Dee was tearing through girls

girls tearing

↓

like a paper shredder through company records.

company paper records

↓

And we knew she would, as I had explained it with a graph.

explained graph

↓

The lower the self-esteem, the harder the slap. And Dee could take a hit too.

esteem harder lower self self-esteem slap

↓

Right? Years of getting slapped around by Frank, right?

frank slapped years

↓

- Yeah. - Those were the days.

days

↓

- Oh, yeah. Better times. - If say so, buddy. If you say so.

buddy times

↓

She had it all, and she delivered slap after slap.

delivered slap

↓

Sexy women, aggressive violence, futuristic trucks.

aggressive sexy trucks violence women

↓

Everything was going according to plan. Till Dee got knocked out.

according knocked plan till

↓

Dee, I thank you for your service. I love you like a sister.

love service sister

↓

Well, I am your sister.

sister

↓

Well, you know, familial ties notwithstanding.

familial ties

↓

Uh, I think you kinda drained the kettle on that one.

kinda

↓

And, hey, you know, no offense,

offense

↓

but I think you've proven yourself to be pretty good at taking a fall.

fall proven

↓

Guys, I know things are getting hot, okay?

↓

But I think we're styling the wrong mannequin here.

mannequin

↓

I would have won that competition

competition

↓

if it wasn't for our associate deviating from the business plan,

associate business plan

↓

and that would be Charlie.

charlie

↓

Oh. Uh... Wow.

↓

He fell back on some old bad habits.

fell habits

↓

Fool.

fool

↓

What's up?

↓

- What's going on? New car? I like it. - Oh, God.

↓

- Okay. What is this? Why are you here? - Pretty sweet. Is that a Geo?

sweet

↓

Well, I got a business opportunity for you.

business business-opportunity opportunity

↓

Oh, a business opportunity?

business business-opportunity opportunity

↓

- Yeah. Check this out. - Oh, good.

check

↓

- Yeah, you're gonna like this. - Great. I bet.

↓

We're doing these oiled-up slap fights in the bar.

fights oiled slap

↓

Oiled-up slap fights?

fights oiled slap

↓

Yeah, we're oiling girls and they're slapping each other.

girls slapping

↓

- You're oiling girls up? - Yeah.

girls

↓

So I could oil you or you could oil yourself, but...

↓

Did you come here to ask me if I want to get oiled by you?

oiled

↓

- Are you stalking me again? - Yeah.

stalking

↓

Stalking? Whoa. Since when did I ever stalk you? No, that's not my thing.

stalk stalking whoa

↓

- Flirting, maybe. But... - Okay.

flirting

↓

Hey, look, you don't have to do it,

↓

but I will say that the winner of the thing is gonna get a free truck,

free truck winner

↓

but I suppose you like this car better, you know.

suppose

↓

You're giving away a truck?

giving truck

↓

A Cybertruck.

cybertruck

↓

Mmm.

↓

Little did he know that she wasn't just driving that crappy car,

crappy driving

↓

she was living in it.

living

↓

The allure of the Cybertruck

cybertruck

↓

and a lifetime of petty misery suffered by this woman

lifetime misery petty suffered woman

↓

rendered her unstoppable.

unstoppable

↓

Yeah. Okay. Who's next?

↓

Uh... Hey. I got an idea, all right?

idea

↓

W-What if you and I get a little side pot going, right?

side

↓

You and me, we... we tone down on the slaps, we call it a tie,

slaps tone

↓

and that way we can share the Cyber...

cyber share

↓

Yeah!

↓

I was sucker-punched.

punched sucker

↓

- No. - No.

↓

- Mm-mmm. - In your dreams.

dreams

↓

No. You were looking right at her.

looking

↓

She slapped the shit out of me, but I wasn't ready.

ready slapped

↓

It was uncalled for and it wasn't fair.

fair uncalled

↓

To make matters worse, Frank reversed course

course frank matters worse

↓

and refused to make her whole.

refused whole

↓

What do you mean I don't get the truck?

truck

↓

- It's all in the terms and conditions. - What?

conditions terms

↓

Look. "Cybertruck not included." Can you read?

cybertruck included read

↓

- Oh, my God! - Can you read?

read

↓

- What? - Oh, my God.

↓

- Screw you. Screw you guys so hard! - In plain writing.

hard plain screw writing

↓

- Oh, I'm taking this public. For this. - Don't you dare.

dare public

↓

Needless to say, she was pissed, and she promised to go public.

needless pissed promised public

↓

And let's face it, we didn't have permits for any of this.

face

↓

Which led to the panic and dumping of assets

assets dumping panic

↓

to erase the trail of corporate culture and create plausible deniability.

corporate create culture erase plausible trail

↓

I'm gonna call the newspaper.

newspaper

↓

As the crow flies here, I think we could all see from a bird's-eye view

birds crow flies view

↓

that had Charlie not invited the Waitress, none of this would've happened.

charlie happened invited waitress wouldve wouldve-happened

↓

So Charlie should take the fall.

charlie fall

↓

And I would say all due respect, but I don't respect you.

respect

↓

It's true, Charlie. We may have reached our inflection point.

charlie point reached

↓

Okay, great. Yeah, that's all good. Yeah.

↓

And I-I'm hearing you guys, you know, ear-wise.

hearing wise

↓

And, um, you know, mouth-wise, uh, you're giving me various wordables,

giving mouth various wise

↓

uh, that are adding up to thoughts.

adding thoughts

↓

This is good. I see how you're trying to clip my wings so that I can fly.

clip wings

↓

That's not how birds work. That makes them "un-fly."

birds makes

↓

Okay. I did not know that you were the bird expert.

bird expert

↓

But I would like to pivot here, you know, before I fall on the sword,

fall pivot sword

↓

and say that I was also using my eyeballs this entire time for various observables.

entire eyeballs using various

↓

Because I realized... ...that Frank was, you know,

frank realized

↓

growing in hardness as the eroticism in the bar was increasing.

eroticism growing increasing

↓

And, uh, he was becoming as hard as a Cybertruck himself,

becoming cybertruck hard

↓

you know, which you could see.

↓

Cheese, of course, is also on this graph.

cheese course graph

↓

- Just keep going. - Uh, moving past.

moving moving-past past

↓

Well, the main thing here is that I think we now have our open-sliced lamb.

lamb main open sliced

↓

You know, open commando person.

commando open person

↓

- What? - What are you saying?

↓

I'm saying it should be Frank, man.

frank

↓

Because he was throwing an orgy in the basement the entire time.

basement entire orgy throwing

↓

- What? - Yes.

↓

I realized Frank was trying to capitalize on the erotic environment

environment erotic frank realized

↓

and pivot into a more orgasmic business model, right?

business business-model model orgasmic pivot

↓

And I noticed various unsavory investors were paying Frank

frank investors noticed paying various

↓

to try to get in on the ground floor.

floor ground

↓

Dear God. Damn, you are not good at this.

dear

↓

I'm tryna say dudes were paying Frank to go into the basement.

basement dudes frank paying

↓

- Mm-hmm. - Right.

↓

And he was failing in his efforts to poach talent from the slapping pool.

efforts failing pool slapping talent

↓

Ooh. I like those straps, and I can't wait to see it off. Let's go downstairs.

downstairs straps

↓

And I knew this 'cause chicks were slapping him constantly.

chicks constantly slapping

↓

But then I saw him trying to headhunt for new key players in this thing.

players

↓

Yo, baby. I need a prostitute.

baby prostitute

↓

But he was running up against some logistical hurdles.

running

↓

Well, when's she coming back from The Bahamas?

coming whens

↓

So, the slap fighting and the basement full of men.

basement fighting full slap slap-fighting

↓

The whole thing was just a big red flag. He had a target on his back and whatnot.

flag target whatnot whole

↓

So, when The Waitress got all pissed off she wasn't gonna get a Cybertruck,

cybertruck pissed waitress

↓

and the police were potentially going to get involved, Frank panicked.

frank involved panicked police potentially

↓

He was worried about the orgy,

orgy worried

↓

which led to the dumping into the Schuylkills and whatnot.

dumping whatnot

↓

And so that is why he is the person that... that should take this fall.

fall person

↓

Um, also, there's still a bunch of dudes in the basement.

basement bunch dudes

↓

- Uh... What? Right now? - What?

↓

Yeah, there's, like, guys down there now.

↓

- Dude. - Right? How many are down there?

↓

- Eleven. Eleven. Eleven's the answer. - Eleven dudes in the basement.

answer basement dudes eleven

↓

- The reporter could see all this. - Yeah, one could come up.

reporter

↓

- It could be an issue for us. - Oh, shit.

issue

↓

We got to figure out what we're gonna do and get her out of here.

figure

↓

I agree with Charlie. I think Frank should take the fall for the whole thing.

agree charlie fall frank whole

↓

- Well, that's insane. - You drove a Cybertruck into the river.

cybertruck drove insane river

↓

I didn't know. I thought it was an aquatic vehicle.

aquatic vehicle

↓

- It's an environmental nightmare. - It should be, but it's not.

environmental nightmare

↓

If anything, it looks like it goes into space.

space

↓

- Yeah, it should be but it's not. - The liberal press

liberal press

↓

is going to crucify us.

↓

I gotta come clean.

clean

↓

I think the truck is ugly.

truck ugly

↓

Damn it. I knew you were gonna say that. I knew she was gonna say that.

↓

Stupid. You're stupid. I call bullshit on that.

bullshit stupid

↓

All right. Enough, enough.

↓

I've had enough with the charts and the maps and the graphs.

charts maps

↓

It's clear you're all good foot soldiers, loyal servants and whatnot.

clear foot loyal servants soldiers whatnot

↓

But it's time we connect the Legos here and boil down to our core values.

boil connect core values

↓

Yes, hammer down on our brand identity and come out open commando.

brand commando hammer identity open

↓

- I said the commando thing. - Didn't make sense the first time.

commando sense

↓

I thought it was... It sounded cool and I want to circle back.

circle cool sounded

↓

- If you're doing it 'cause it's cool... - Okay. I got a plan,

cool plan

↓

and this is it.

↓

Okay. Here we go.

↓

Um, ma'am, we are finally ready to make our statement.

finally maam ready statement

↓

Yeah, yeah.

↓

No comment.

comment

↓

That said, we are no longer gonna drink, serve, or have anything to do

drink longer serve

↓

- that represents water. - Yeah.

represents water

↓

- Water is not the cornerstone of our company. - Mm-mmm.

company water

↓

And we will hereby, uh, be getting rid of the watercooler.

hereby

↓

- Gone. - Gone.

gone

↓

Excuse me, I-I'm not sure what you're talking about.

excuse

↓

Sorry. We got on talking like this when we started over-hydrating.

started

↓

Yeah, we watched a couple YouTube clips about a corporate retreat.

clips corporate couple retreat watched youtube

↓

Got some water, got hydrated.

hydrated water

↓

So, we're not gonna talk about that subject anymore.

anymore subject

↓

- No more water. - No comment is the main thing, right?

comment main water

↓

- Yeah. What I said in the beginning. - Yeah. And no water.

beginning water

↓

I'm sorry, do you think I'm a reporter?

reporter

↓

Yeah.

↓

No. I'm here for the orgy.

orgy

↓

Oh. Oh.

↓

Good. Great. Great.

↓

Oh. Hey, guys, the whore is here.

whore

↓

- I was waiting for you. - I told you guys, man.

waiting

↓

- That's one woman. - Yeah.

woman

↓

Yeah. T-That's not an orgy. That's a...

orgy

↓

- No. No. - That's a gangbang.

↓

- No. No. - That's a gangbang, yeah.

↓

We really should find a way to exit Frank.

exit frank

↓

- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com

corrected synced