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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S08E03 — The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 8, Episode 3 — The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre

Air date: October 25, 2012

Director: Richie Keen

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

The gang make a disturbing discovery after crashing Maureen's wedding.

Source: TMDB

↓

Oh, God!

↓

Run!

↓

Where are you guys?!

↓

What's happening?!

↓

Over here!

↓

Over here!

↓

Frank!

frank

↓

Where are you?

↓

Frank!

frank

↓

Charlie!

charlie

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

Over here.

↓

We're all here?!

↓

We're all here?!

↓

Guys!

↓

Stop!

↓

Stop where you are!

↓

You four got some explaining to do.

explaining four

↓

Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com

corrections sync

↓

I got 15 different wedding guests out there with various

guests various wedding

↓

degrees of injury.

degrees injury

↓

I got a groom... face is half gone!

face gone groom half

↓

And I'm still missing a bride.

bride missing

↓

I don't know what happened back there, but we are innocent.

happened innocent

↓

We're completely innocent.

completely innocent

↓

Yeah, well, you four bozos are the only people on the scene

bozos four scene

↓

that weren't invited.

invited

↓

So you can see how bad this looks.

↓

Now, who is Mr. Dennis Reynolds?

dennis dennis-reynolds reynolds

↓

Oh, that's me.

↓

Hmm, hello, Dennis.

dennis

↓

Those are some interesting marks on your neck.

interesting marks neck

↓

Let me guess.

↓

Ex-wife's getting remarried, you get a little jealous.

jealous wifes

↓

Get your buddies together, you decide to break up that party.

break buddies decide party

↓

So you crash the wedding, get a little tipsy, things take a violent turn.

crash tipsy violent wedding

↓

No, no, no, look.

↓

That is the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen.

exact exact-opposite happen opposite wanted

↓

I wanted to make sure that that wedding happened!

happened wanted wedding

↓

Why is Maureen getting married in the middle of the woods?

married maureen middle woods

↓

I don't know.

↓

Some people find the woods romantic, I guess.

romantic woods

↓

And why get married on Friday the 13th?

friday married

↓

It's a monster day.

monster

↓

I don't know and I don't care.

care

↓

I just want to make sure the wedding happens.

happens wedding

↓

I'm tired of paying alimony.

alimony paying paying-alimony tired

↓

Well, we got your back, bro.

↓

Don't worry about that.

worry

↓

I don't need you to have my back.

↓

Three people crashing a wedding... it's gonna make a scene.

crashing scene three wedding

↓

Why couldn't you just let me do this alone?

alone

↓

Just don't like getting bussed up there.

↓

I feel like we're gonna be trapped.

trapped

↓

I don't, I don't like any of this.

↓

Oh, no.

↓

No, no.

↓

I don't like this place already.

place

↓

This is a strange place, right?

place strange

↓

I'm seeing a lot of bats.

bats seeing

↓

Yeah, there's bats everywhere.

bats

↓

You know why?

↓

'Cause it's Friday the 13th.

friday

↓

No, no, no, stop.

↓

Will you stop with that?

↓

It's not because it's Friday the 13th.

friday

↓

We're in the woods.

woods

↓

Stop being paranoid.

paranoid

↓

Still, this is creepy.

creepy

↓

I mean, who gets married in a spot like this?

married spot

↓

Oh, Jesus Christ!

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

You guys crashing my wedding?

crashing wedding

↓

Wait.

↓

What?!

↓

You?!

↓

Wait, Liam, you're marrying Maureen?

liam marrying maureen

↓

Big-time.

↓

Don't be jelly.

jelly

↓

What the hell is going on here?

↓

What's your angle?

angle

↓

Oldest angle in the book, my friend.

angle book friend oldest

↓

Love.

love

↓

I don't buy this, okay?

↓

I thought you were in love with Ryan.

love ryan

↓

What's your brother think about all this?

brother

↓

Ryan's dead to me.

dead ryans

↓

Do you hear me?

↓

He's dead!

dead

↓

So, I take it he doesn't approve?

approve

↓

That's a negative, Ronald McDonald.

mcdonald negative ronald ronald-mcdonald

↓

Now, I'd ask you guys to leave, but I'm just too damn happy.

happy

↓

See you bitches on the dance floor.

bitches dance dance-floor floor

↓

I don't like this, okay?

↓

This is a McPoyle-Ponderosa wedding.

mcpoyle ponderosa wedding

↓

This is, this is bad.

↓

Look, look, if you're gonna be here, I need your support.

support

↓

You need to help me make sure this wedding goes off without a hitch.

hitch wedding

↓

Hold on. What made you think this wasn't gonna happen?

happen

↓

Mac had heard there were some people there who wanted to ruin the wedding.

heard ruin wanted wedding

↓

Who?

↓

Him.

↓

Ah!

↓

That is bullshit!

bullshit

↓

I was there to support my buddy.

buddy support

↓

That was a swervy road.

road

↓

Yeah.

↓

What are you guys doing here?

↓

Oh, my God, I knew it.

↓

You're here to break up this wedding.

break wedding

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

I'm here to support my friend, Bill Ponderosa.

bill bill-ponderosa friend ponderosa support

↓

I'm his AA sponsor!

sponsor

↓

Bullshit!

bullshit

↓

You two love the fact that I have to pay alimony the rest of my life.

alimony fact life love rest

↓

You love the power you have over me with this financial burden.

burden financial love power

↓

You know what, Dennis, not everything is about you, okay?

dennis

↓

I am here to support Frank.

frank support

↓

No, you two are here to make a scene.

scene

↓

Oh!

↓

If anybody's making a scene, it's you!

anybodys scene

↓

Ow! Ow!

↓

I just got tagged by a bat!

tagged

↓

He got you.

↓

I got tagged!

tagged

↓

Suck out the poison, Dee!

poison suck

↓

I'm not sucking on your head.

head sucking

↓

Suck it out!

suck

↓

I'll give you $200, you suck it out.

suck

↓

$200? I'll do it!

↓

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

I'll do it for $200.

↓

Suck it quick.

quick suck

↓

What are you...?

↓

This is the kind of thing that I was talking about!

↓

Suck it harder!

harder suck

↓

Go home, please!

home

↓

Suck it harder!

harder suck

↓

I got it.

↓

Did you swallow it?!

swallow

↓

Of course I swallowed.

course swallowed

↓

Make yourself throw up!

throw

↓

Yeah, you swallowed the poison!

poison swallowed

↓

Get it out! Get it out!

↓

Vomit! Vomit!

vomit

↓

What are you doing?!

↓

There is no poison from a bat!

poison

↓

No! You are gonna ruin this!

ruin

↓

You're all gonna ruin this!

ruin

↓

You all right?

↓

It won't come, Frank.

frank

↓

Deandra.

deandra

↓

Yeah?

↓

Let's go break up this wedding.

break wedding

↓

Whoa, stop, stop!

whoa

↓

So you were there to break up the wedding.

break wedding

↓

Shit.

↓

Did I just say that part?

part

↓

Yeah.

↓

Why did you want to break up the wedding?

break wedding

↓

For all the things he just said.

↓

That was accurate.

accurate

↓

But it wasn't just our idea to break up the wedding.

break idea wedding

↓

Not at first.

↓

Last week, we had a visitor at the bar.

visitor week

↓

They have to be stopped.

stopped

↓

The McPoyle bloodline's been pure and clean for a thousand years.

clean mcpoyle pure thousand thousand-years years

↓

This marriage is an abomination.

abomination marriage

↓

Now, when you say "pure and clean ," uh, you mean what, exactly?

clean pure

↓

Means we haven't bred outside the bloodline.

bloodline bred

↓

For a thousand years?

thousand thousand-years years

↓

Yeah.

↓

That makes a lot of sense.

makes sense

↓

Dennis knows Maureen better than anyone.

dennis knows maureen

↓

Only he can talk her out of this.

↓

The last thing Dennis wants to do is break up this wedding.

break dennis wants wedding

↓

But we do.

↓

Okay, I brought a disguise.

brought disguise

↓

Meh!

↓

They're gonna know who you are.

↓

This will work.

↓

Now sneak me in so we can go kill Maureen.

kill maureen sneak

↓

Kill?

kill

↓

Who said anything about killing anybody?

anybody killing

↓

No one's killing anyone.

killing ones

↓

We'll sneak you in to Liam so you guys can talk or bang or

bang liam sneak

↓

whatever it is you want to do.

↓

Frank!

frank

↓

Frank!

frank

↓

Oh, thank God you're here, man.

↓

I am not gonna make it.

↓

I am itching to get blitzed.

itching

↓

Weddings are a big trigger for me, man.

trigger weddings

↓

Why are you telling me this?

telling

↓

You're my sponsor, Frank.

frank sponsor

↓

Come on.

↓

My support system.

support system

↓

Oh, right, right, right.

↓

Of course.

course

↓

So, do whatever you feel is best.

best

↓

Well, I feel it would be best if I pounded a beer.

beer best pounded

↓

I'll support that decision.

decision support

↓

I wish I could.

wish

↓

I mean, it's a dry wedding, for God's sakes.

gods gods-sakes sakes wedding

↓

They're serving milk.

milk serving

↓

I feel like maybe I should do some drugs then, you know?

drugs

↓

That bad?

↓

You earned it.

earned

↓

Yeah.

↓

You do whatever you feel like.

↓

You're a good person.

person

↓

Frank.

frank

↓

Mm.

↓

Cool, cool.

cool cool-cool

↓

Thank you.

↓

Thank you.

↓

Diddly Dee.

diddly

↓

Miss me?

miss

↓

Don't answer that.

answer

↓

All right.

↓

Catch you guys later.

catch

↓

You're a bad sponsor.

sponsor

↓

Why?

↓

I supported every decision he wanted to make.

decision supported wanted

↓

Stop wasting time!

wasting

↓

Ow! God!

↓

Let's go find Liam.

liam

↓

Shit!

↓

Don't hit me.

↓

Things have already taken a bit of a dark turn, it would seem.

dark taken

↓

Yeah.

↓

Okay, I need to get to Maureen before Frank and Dee.

frank maureen

↓

All right?

↓

Oh, we'll come with you.

↓

No, just hang back.

hang

↓

I got this, okay?

↓

Dude, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

thinking

↓

Yeah.

↓

We could definitely get laid here.

laid

↓

Huh? What?

↓

Maureen, I need to speak with you.

maureen speak

↓

Dennis!

dennis

↓

OMG, what are you doing here?

↓

Well, uh, I have reason to believe that someone is here to

believe reason

↓

destroy this special day for you, so I'm sure to make sure

destroy special

↓

that doesn't happen.

happen

↓

That is so sweet, Dennis.

dennis sweet

↓

I also brought along some legal documents, so if we could

along brought documents legal

↓

just wrap this up lickety-split.

split wrap

↓

Legal documents? What?

documents legal

↓

Yeah, I realize my timing is a little unorthodox, but, uh, I

realize timing unorthodox

↓

figure what better way to make sure your union is totally

figure union

↓

complete than by having you sign these documents that I need you to sign?

complete documents having sign

↓

So if I can just get your signature right here, and I'll

signature

↓

run up and get Liam's signature, and this'll be on the books and

books liams signature thisll

↓

your wedding... Muh!

wedding

↓

My Maureen, you've... you've enhanced yourself.

maureen

↓

Yeah, I got my tooth fixed.

fixed tooth

↓

I'm talking about your tits!

tits

↓

You big, giant new titties, Maureen!

giant maureen titties

↓

Why would you do that now?

↓

Why not when we were together when I could've...?

couldve

↓

I told you I was willing to change.

change willing

↓

Yeah, but I didn't know you meant physically,

meant physically

↓

that you would change physically.

change physically

↓

Why weren't you more clear with me, Maureen?

clear maureen

↓

All right, you know what?

↓

I'm not gonna get distracted.

distracted

↓

Just, just sign right here... Wait! What are you doing in here?!

sign

↓

You can't see the bride before the ceremony!

bride ceremony

↓

No, no!

↓

Get out!

↓

I just need her to sign this!

sign

↓

No! Get out of here!

↓

Wait, wait, wait! Maureen!

maureen

↓

No matter what happens, you got to go through with this!

happens matter

↓

Out!

↓

Liam is your destiny, Maureen!

destiny liam maureen

↓

Oh, here he comes.

comes

↓

I didn't get it.

↓

I mean, I'm so close, I'm so close.

close

↓

Do you know where Liam is? Maybe I can get his signature first.

liam signature

↓

I didn't see him anywhere.

↓

I'm sorry, but I got to bring this up.

bring

↓

Things are getting really weird.

weird

↓

I mean, check out Pappy McPoyle.

check mcpoyle

↓

What is that all about?

↓

I'll tell you what that's all about.

↓

Zombies.

zombies

↓

Zombies?

zombies

↓

I seen it once before in a rat, and I seen it now in men.

seen

↓

Once one gets a taste for its own kind, it can spread through

spread taste

↓

the pack like a wildfire.

pack

↓

Mindlessly chomping and biting at their own hinds.

biting chomping

↓

Nothing but the taste of flesh on their minds.

flesh minds taste

↓

You know the thing about a rat?

↓

It's got life in its eyes.

eyes life

↓

Black eyes like a doll's eye.

black black-eyes dolls eyes

↓

Don't seem to be living at all when it come at ya.

living

↓

Till it bites ya.

bites till

↓

And then the eyes roll over white.

eyes roll white

↓

You don't hear nothing but the screaming and the hollering.

screaming

↓

What are you doing?!

↓

Are you doing the speech from Jaws?

jaws speech

↓

- Nah... - Are you doing Jaws?

jaws

↓

We don't have time for this shit.

↓

This is serious.

serious

↓

Look, it wasn't zombies, okay?

zombies

↓

Really?

↓

Yeah.

↓

Then you explain what happened next.

explain happened

↓

Okay, it's time to get out of here.

↓

I mean, look at that guy.

↓

The McPoyles sprung from my loins, fully formed!

formed fully loins mcpoyles sprung

↓

One of them babies tried to eat me!

babies tried

↓

I ate him first!

↓

I ate him first!

↓

Okay, I'm with Charlie. I'm leaving.

charlie leaving

↓

Wait. You guys are just gonna leave?

↓

You're gonna, you're gonna go?

↓

Yeah, we're out.

↓

You know what? I don't give a shit.

↓

Yeah, go, go, go. Yeah, get the hell out of here!

↓

I didn't want you here in the first place!

place

↓

Yeah, I understand the McPoyle bloodline's very strong.

mcpoyle strong

↓

Legions of us thousand sturdy ones ruled this fine land.

land ones ruled sturdy thousand

↓

Our bloodline was as pure as the driven snow.

bloodline driven pure snow

↓

Mm-hmm. And then what happened?

happened

↓

Syphilis killed about half of us.

half killed syphilis

↓

Mm.

↓

Mongoloidism got most of the rest.

rest

↓

Right.

↓

Yep.

↓

Well, there's somebody inside who wants to talk to you about this.

somebody wants

↓

Mm?

↓

Who's this guy?

↓

Ryan!

ryan

↓

We need to talk!

↓

We'll leave you guys alone.

alone

↓

Let them hash it out themselves.

hash

↓

It'll bust up.

bust itll

↓

What the hell is that?

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

I'm gonna go.

↓

No, no, no, Deandra!

deandra

↓

What?

↓

- No, you gotta stay! - I don't have to stay.

↓

You gotta finish this.

finish

↓

Uh, I'm not going to.

↓

But we're not done!

↓

Don't, don't go out there!

↓

Deandra!

deandra

↓

And we never saw Dee again.

↓

Oh, no.

↓

No.

↓

We saw Dee.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Yeah, that's when the shit started hitting the fan.

hitting started

↓

Oh, look, there's Dee! Dee!

↓

Dee! Don't go down there!

↓

Do not go down there!

↓

We just got attacked by a bunch of zombies!

attacked bunch zombies

↓

Yeah, and the shuttle bus is gone!

gone shuttle

↓

A zombie must have stolen your car!

must stolen zombie

↓

Your car is gone!

gone

↓

There's no way out of here!

↓

There's no way out!

↓

What are you doing?

↓

She's infected! She's infected!

infected

↓

Liam? Liam?!

liam

↓

Liam! Hello, Liam?

liam

↓

Frank?

frank

↓

Hi, Dennis.

dennis

↓

What did you do with Liam?

liam

↓

You're too late.

late

↓

He's getting talked out of it!

talked

↓

Ha-ha-ha!

↓

Get out of my way.

↓

No!

↓

Get out of my way, Frank!

frank

↓

Hey, man.

↓

What are you guys doing?

↓

I'm begging Liam for forgiveness!

begging forgiveness liam

↓

It's time we move on.

↓

Liam convinced me it's not

convinced liam

↓

our blood that's being tainted.

blood tainted

↓

It's us tainting the blood of others.

blood others

↓

McPoyles will take over the world!

mcpoyles world

↓

Goddamn it! It backfired!

backfired goddamn goddamn-it

↓

Wonderful.

↓

And first step towards that is signing this.

signing step

↓

So Liam, if you'd just sign right there, please.

liam sign

↓

Just sign right there.

sign

↓

Go ahead.

ahead go-ahead

↓

You got it.

↓

Stupid asses.

asses stupid

↓

One down, one to go.

↓

Nice try, Frank.

frank

↓

What the hell is going on?

↓

Get the hell out of the way.

↓

Get out of the way!

↓

Jesus Christ!

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

We gotta get out of here.

↓

I'm not going anywhere, Frank.

frank

↓

I'm not going anywhere till I get that signature.

signature till

↓

Go, go, go!

↓

Hey, dude, check it out.

check

↓

Remember when Dee, you know,

remember

↓

she sucked that bat poison

poison sucked

↓

or whatever out of Frank's head from the vampire bat?

franks head vampire

↓

Yeah.

↓

That must be what turned her into a zombie.

must turned zombie

↓

Why would a vampire bat turn you into a zombie?

vampire zombie

↓

You're mixing up your horror genres.

horror mixing

↓

If anything, it would turn you into a vampire.

vampire

↓

Right or a bat, or a bat.

↓

Or Batman.

batman

↓

No, a vampire turns you into a vampire.

turns vampire

↓

A zombie turns you into a zombie

turns zombie

↓

and Batman didn't get turned into anything.

batman turned

↓

He just likes bats.

bats likes

↓

That can't possibly be what Batman's about.

possibly

↓

It's about a grown man who dresses up like a bat?

dresses grown

↓

And goes around solving crimes and mysteries, yes.

crimes mysteries solving

↓

These are Academy Award winning movies.

academy award award-winning movies winning

↓

This is serious stuff.

serious stuff

↓

Well, you know the Academy, Charlie, I mean...

academy charlie

↓

I know the Academy as well as anybody.

academy anybody

↓

Sometimes, it's atrocious.

sometimes

↓

Well, to bring it all back

bring

↓

around, I think when Dee drank

drank

↓

the bat blood, that's how she got sick.

blood sick

↓

Frank's blood.

blood franks

↓

Yes, but the bat juices.

juices

↓

You know, the bat saliva, bat rabies.

rabies saliva

↓

No, no, it's not... Bat rabies, I buy.

rabies

↓

Bat rabies.

rabies

↓

Yeah.

↓

Like the... Dude, we got to get out of here.

↓

Yeah, go.

↓

Things had gotten completely insane.

completely completely-insane gotten insane

↓

Dennis was trying to get the signature from Maureen, but we

dennis maureen signature

↓

were just trying to get the hell out of there.

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

What the hell?

↓

Frank, what the hell's going on?

frank hells

↓

Dude, we got to get out of here.

↓

Where's Dennis?

dennis

↓

I lost him.

lost

↓

You guys, I couldn't get it.

↓

I couldn't get it.

↓

She wouldn't sign it.

sign

↓

I couldn't get the stupid bitch to sign.

bitch sign stupid stupid-bitch

↓

She didn't sign?

sign

↓

This has all gone bad.

gone

↓

It's gone terribly, terribly bad.

gone terribly

↓

What did you do?

↓

I did something bad.

↓

I did something really, really bad; guys, we got to get out of

↓

here before everybody finds out what happened.

everybody finds happened

↓

Guys, I messed up.

messed

↓

I messed up bad.

messed

↓

All right, guys, let's just make a break for it.

break

↓

Which way?

↓

One, two, three, go.

three

↓

Come on, come on, this way, this way, this way.

↓

My face! My face!

face

↓

My face!

face

↓

One, two, three.

three

↓

Oh, God!

↓

Frank!

frank

↓

Over here, over here.

↓

And then that's where you picked us up, and honestly,

picked

↓

that's all that we know.

↓

Yes.

↓

So you're telling me that this was a wedding full of zombies?

full telling wedding zombies

↓

Yeah.

↓

Well, bat rabies zombies.

rabies zombies

↓

Whatever.

↓

There was weird incestuous jealousies, we don't know what

weird

↓

was going on.

↓

Bottom line, you got the wrong guys. We're innocent.

bottom bottom-line innocent line

↓

Yes, we're totally innocent.

innocent

↓

Marconi, we just picked somebody up from the site who's

picked site somebody

↓

claiming to know what happened.

claiming happened

↓

She was locked in a freezer.

freezer locked

↓

Don't let her in here.

↓

No, she's been infected.

infected

↓

I'm not infected, you stupid idiots.

idiots infected stupid

↓

No one was infected.

infected

↓

Here's what happened.

happened

↓

Let them hash it out themselves.

hash

↓

It'll bust up.

bust itll

↓

Yeah.

↓

I'm gonna go.

↓

Deandra.

deandra

↓

Dee's nuts.

dees dees-nuts nuts

↓

What's the haps?

haps

↓

Here, have a sip, right from the cow's titty.

cows titty

↓

You'll love it.

love

↓

No, Bill, no.

bill

↓

I got to get out of here, okay?

↓

Shit is going crazy.

crazy

↓

No, don't go.

↓

Party's just starting.

partys starting

↓

You got to have some.

↓

Come on, try it.

↓

Come on, it'll loosen you up a bit, make your butthole hot.

butthole itll loosen

↓

How is drinking a glass of milk going to loosen me up, Bill?

bill drinking glass loosen milk

↓

Well, I spiked the milk with methylenedioxypyrovalerone.

milk spiked

↓

What?

↓

It's bath salts.

bath bath-salts salts

↓

Yeah, yeah, it's like coke and acid and meth all combined.

acid coke combined meth

↓

It's awesome.

awesome

↓

Yeah, I get it.

↓

So everyone here is on bath salts?

bath bath-salts salts

↓

Yeah, pretty much.

↓

Oh, my God, just move.

↓

Bath salts?

bath bath-salts salts

↓

The drug that makes people eat each other's faces?

drug faces makes others

↓

Wait, that would explain the zombie behavior.

behavior explain zombie

↓

Right, okay, Dee, so you were on bath salts and that's why you

bath bath-salts salts

↓

went all nuts on us.

nuts

↓

Now it makes sense.

makes makes-sense sense

↓

That is not why I went nuts on you guys.

nuts

↓

Huh?

↓

I went nuts on you because of what you assholes did to my

assholes nuts

↓

goddamn car!

goddamn

↓

Dude, when was the last time you drove a car?

drove

↓

Don't worry about it, man.

worry

↓

I can drive; I remember how.

drive remember

↓

What?

↓

No, no, no, no, no.

↓

No, no, no, no, wait.

↓

No!

↓

What happened, dude?

happened

↓

What happened?

happened

↓

I forgot how to drive.

drive forgot

↓

I forgot how to drive.

drive forgot

↓

Oh, God.

↓

Oh, look, Charlie, there's Dee.

charlie

↓

Dee, don't go down that way.

↓

We just got attacked by a bunch of zombie people.

attacked bunch zombie

↓

The shuttle's gone.

gone

↓

Zombies must have stolen your car.

must stolen zombies

↓

There's no way out of here.

↓

Dude...

↓

You sons of bitches!

bitches sons

↓

You're gonna pay!

↓

You're all gonna pay!

↓

I'll kill you!

kill

↓

You assholes, you'll pay!

assholes

↓

No, we won't pay.

↓

We never do.

↓

Okay, well, there it is.

↓

You know, there's the whole story.

story whole whole-story

↓

Ponderosa spiked the punch.

ponderosa punch spiked

↓

Somebody hopped up on bath salts but Liam's face,

bath bath-salts face hopped liams salts somebody

↓

and, uh, case closed, you know?

case case-closed closed

↓

Hey, good for you.

↓

Good for us.

↓

Bye.

↓

Ba-da-bing.

bing

↓

Hey, whoa.

whoa

↓

Sit down, slick.

slick

↓

Now that may explain some of the shit that went on here, but it

explain

↓

doesn't answer the question of the missing bride.

answer bride missing question

↓

Since you're the one with motive and the last one to be

motive

↓

seen with her, you're my new #1 suspect.

seen suspect

↓

No, no.

↓

That's... I didn't murder her.

murder

↓

Then tell me what happened to her!

happened

↓

I-I don't know.

↓

I don't know.

↓

Listen, if you confess, I can help you, but you got

confess

↓

to tell me what happened.

happened

↓

Okay, all right, all right, all right. Okay.

↓

Look, if I tell you what I did, will you just help me, please?

↓

Because I need help.

↓

I'll see what I can do with the DA, but I need you to confess.

confess

↓

Okay, fine.

↓

Fine.

↓

I-I was just going to see her to get the final signature so I

final signature

↓

could put this whole thing behind me.

behind whole

↓

When I saw her... Something bad happened.

happened

↓

Something very bad.

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

Oh, God, Maureen.

maureen

↓

That was terrible.

↓

Who did those tits?

tits

↓

The nipple placement is crazy.

crazy nipple placement

↓

- I love you, Dennis Reynolds. - No, you don't.

dennis dennis-reynolds love reynolds

↓

I love you.

love

↓

No, look, you're just gonna sign these papers and we're

papers sign

↓

gonna be done with this, okay?

↓

Never.

↓

Let's run away together.

↓

Oh, I'm gonna run away, but not with you.

↓

I'm gonna find you.

↓

Oh, no, no, you're not gonna find me, no, no.

↓

We can't do this, Maureen.

maureen

↓

Oh, no, please.

↓

What have I done?

↓

Oh, God, what have I done?

↓

Oh, God.

↓

Oh, God!

↓

So all that shit about us ruining the wedding...

ruining wedding

↓

And the zombies and the bath salts and the blood...

bath bath-salts blood salts zombies

↓

It turns out you blew it yourself.

blew turns

↓

Yeah, congratulations, Frank.

congratulations frank

↓

You win.

↓

I'm gonna be paying alimony to that crazy bitch for the rest of my life.

alimony bitch crazy crazy-bitch life paying paying-alimony rest

↓

You expect me to believe this woman's gonna throw her entire

believe entire expect throw womans

↓

life away just to sleep with her ex-husband on her wedding night?

husband life night sleep wedding

↓

Huh?

↓

Really?

↓

Mr. Reynolds, you're free to go.

free reynolds

↓

What?

↓

Why am I free...?

free

↓

No.

↓

Yes.

↓

No.

↓

Someone posted your bail.

bail posted

↓

Come on, silly head.

head silly

↓

Let's go home and put this whole adventure behind us.

adventure behind home whole

↓

No.

↓

No!

↓

No!

↓

No, you got to help me.

↓

What have I done?

↓

You got to help me!

↓

What have I done? No! No! No!

↓

Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com

corrections sync

↓

I got 15 different wedding guests out there with various

guests various wedding

↓

degrees of injury.

degrees injury

↓

I got a groom... face is half gone!

face gone groom half

↓

And I'm still missing a bride.

bride missing

↓

We're completely innocent.

completely innocent

↓

that weren't invited.

invited

↓

So you can see how bad this looks.

↓

Now, who is Mr. Dennis Reynolds?

dennis dennis-reynolds reynolds

↓

Oh, that's me.

↓

Hmm, hello, Dennis.

dennis

↓

Those are some interesting marks on your neck.

interesting marks neck

↓

Let me guess.

↓

Get your buddies together, you decide to break up that party.

break buddies decide party

↓

So you crash the wedding, get a little tipsy, things take a violent turn.

crash tipsy violent wedding

↓

No, no, no, look.

↓

I wanted to make sure that that wedding happened!

happened wanted wedding

↓

Why is Maureen getting married in the middle of the woods?

married maureen middle woods

↓

I don't know.

↓

Some people find the woods romantic, I guess.

romantic woods

↓

And why get married on Friday the 13th?

friday married

↓

It's a monster day.

monster

↓

I don't know and I don't care.

care

↓

I just want to make sure the wedding happens.

happens wedding

↓

I'm tired of paying alimony.

alimony paying paying-alimony tired

↓

Well, we got your back, bro.

↓

Don't worry about that.

worry

↓

I don't need you to have my back.

↓

Three people crashing a wedding... it's gonna make a scene.

crashing scene three wedding

↓

Just don't like getting bussed up there.

↓

I feel like we're gonna be trapped.

trapped

↓

I don't, I don't like any of this.

↓

Oh, no.

↓

No, no.

↓

I don't like this place already.

place

↓

This is a strange place, right?

place strange

↓

I'm seeing a lot of bats.

bats seeing

↓

Yeah, there's bats everywhere.

bats

↓

You know why?

↓

'Cause it's Friday the 13th.

friday

↓

No, no, no, stop.

↓

Will you stop with that?

↓

It's not because it's Friday the 13th.

friday

↓

We're in the woods.

woods

↓

Stop being paranoid.

paranoid

↓

Still, this is creepy.

creepy

↓

I mean, who gets married in a spot like this?

married spot

↓

Oh, Jesus Christ!

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

You guys crashing my wedding?

crashing wedding

↓

Wait.

↓

What?!

↓

You?!

↓

Wait, Liam, you're marrying Maureen?

liam marrying maureen

↓

Big-time.

↓

Don't be jelly.

jelly

↓

What the hell is going on here?

↓

What's your angle?

angle

↓

Oldest angle in the book, my friend.

angle book friend oldest

↓

Love.

love

↓

I don't buy this, okay?

↓

I thought you were in love with Ryan.

love ryan

↓

What's your brother think about all this?

brother

↓

Ryan's dead to me.

dead ryans

↓

Do you hear me?

↓

He's dead!

dead

↓

So, I take it he doesn't approve?

approve

↓

That's a negative, Ronald McDonald.

mcdonald negative ronald ronald-mcdonald

↓

Now, I'd ask you guys to leave, but I'm just too damn happy.

happy

↓

See you bitches on the dance floor.

bitches dance dance-floor floor

↓

I don't like this, okay?

↓

This is a McPoyle-Ponderosa wedding.

mcpoyle ponderosa wedding

↓

This is, this is bad.

↓

Look, look, if you're gonna be here, I need your support.

support

↓

You need to help me make sure this wedding goes off without a hitch.

hitch wedding

↓

Hold on. What made you think this wasn't gonna happen?

happen

↓

Mac had heard there were some people there who wanted to ruin the wedding.

heard ruin wanted wedding

↓

Who?

↓

Him.

↓

Ah!

↓

That is bullshit!

bullshit

↓

I was there to support my buddy.

buddy support

↓

That was a swervy road.

road

↓

Yeah.

↓

What are you guys doing here?

↓

Oh, my God, I knew it.

↓

You're here to break up this wedding.

break wedding

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

I'm here to support my friend, Bill Ponderosa.

bill bill-ponderosa friend ponderosa support

↓

I'm his AA sponsor!

sponsor

↓

Bullshit!

bullshit

↓

You two love the fact that I have to pay alimony the rest of my life.

alimony fact life love rest

↓

You love the power you have over me with this financial burden.

burden financial love power

↓

You know what, Dennis, not everything is about you, okay?

dennis

↓

I am here to support Frank.

frank support

↓

No, you two are here to make a scene.

scene

↓

Oh!

↓

If anybody's making a scene, it's you!

anybodys scene

↓

Ow! Ow!

↓

I just got tagged by a bat!

tagged

↓

He got you.

↓

I got tagged!

tagged

↓

Suck out the poison, Dee!

poison suck

↓

I'm not sucking on your head.

head sucking

↓

Suck it out!

suck

↓

I'll give you $200, you suck it out.

suck

↓

$200? I'll do it!

↓

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

I'll do it for $200.

↓

Suck it quick.

quick suck

↓

What are you...?

↓

This is the kind of thing that I was talking about!

↓

Suck it harder!

harder suck

↓

Go home, please!

home

↓

Suck it harder!

harder suck

↓

I got it.

↓

Did you swallow it?!

swallow

↓

Of course I swallowed.

course swallowed

↓

Make yourself throw up!

throw

↓

Yeah, you swallowed the poison!

poison swallowed

↓

Get it out! Get it out!

↓

Vomit! Vomit!

vomit

↓

What are you doing?!

↓

There is no poison from a bat!

poison

↓

No! You are gonna ruin this!

ruin

↓

You're all gonna ruin this!

ruin

↓

You all right?

↓

It won't come, Frank.

frank

↓

Deandra.

deandra

↓

Yeah?

↓

Let's go break up this wedding.

break wedding

↓

Whoa, stop, stop!

whoa

↓

So you were there to break up the wedding.

break wedding

↓

Shit.

↓

Did I just say that part?

part

↓

Yeah.

↓

Why did you want to break up the wedding?

break wedding

↓

For all the things he just said.

↓

That was accurate.

accurate

↓

But it wasn't just our idea to break up the wedding.

break idea wedding

↓

Not at first.

↓

Last week, we had a visitor at the bar.

visitor week

↓

They have to be stopped.

stopped

↓

The McPoyle bloodline's been pure and clean for a thousand years.

clean mcpoyle pure thousand thousand-years years

↓

This marriage is an abomination.

abomination marriage

↓

Now, when you say "pure and clean ," uh, you mean what, exactly?

clean pure

↓

Means we haven't bred outside the bloodline.

bloodline bred

↓

For a thousand years?

thousand thousand-years years

↓

Yeah.

↓

That makes a lot of sense.

makes sense

↓

Dennis knows Maureen better than anyone.

dennis knows maureen

↓

Only he can talk her out of this.

↓

The last thing Dennis wants to do is break up this wedding.

break dennis wants wedding

↓

But we do.

↓

Okay, I brought a disguise.

brought disguise

↓

Meh!

↓

They're gonna know who you are.

↓

This will work.

↓

Now sneak me in so we can go kill Maureen.

kill maureen sneak

↓

Kill?

kill

↓

Who said anything about killing anybody?

anybody killing

↓

No one's killing anyone.

killing ones

↓

We'll sneak you in to Liam so you guys can talk or bang or

bang liam sneak

↓

whatever it is you want to do.

↓

Frank!

frank

↓

Frank!

frank

↓

Oh, thank God you're here, man.

↓

I am not gonna make it.

↓

I am itching to get blitzed.

itching

↓

Weddings are a big trigger for me, man.

trigger weddings

↓

Why are you telling me this?

telling

↓

You're my sponsor, Frank.

frank sponsor

↓

Come on.

↓

My support system.

support system

↓

Oh, right, right, right.

↓

Of course.

course

↓

So, do whatever you feel is best.

best

↓

Well, I feel it would be best if I pounded a beer.

beer best pounded

↓

I'll support that decision.

decision support

↓

I wish I could.

wish

↓

I mean, it's a dry wedding, for God's sakes.

gods gods-sakes sakes wedding

↓

They're serving milk.

milk serving

↓

I feel like maybe I should do some drugs then, you know?

drugs

↓

That bad?

↓

You earned it.

earned

↓

Yeah.

↓

You do whatever you feel like.

↓

You're a good person.

person

↓

Frank.

frank

↓

Mm.

↓

Cool, cool.

cool cool-cool

↓

Thank you.

↓

Thank you.

↓

Diddly Dee.

diddly

↓

Miss me?

miss

↓

Don't answer that.

answer

↓

All right.

↓

Catch you guys later.

catch

↓

You're a bad sponsor.

sponsor

↓

Why?

↓

I supported every decision he wanted to make.

decision supported wanted

↓

Stop wasting time!

wasting

↓

Ow! God!

↓

Let's go find Liam.

liam

↓

Shit!

↓

Don't hit me.

↓

Things have already taken a bit of a dark turn, it would seem.

dark taken

↓

Yeah.

↓

Okay, I need to get to Maureen before Frank and Dee.

frank maureen

↓

All right?

↓

Oh, we'll come with you.

↓

No, just hang back.

hang

↓

I got this, okay?

↓

Dude, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

thinking

↓

Yeah.

↓

We could definitely get laid here.

laid

↓

Huh? What?

↓

Maureen, I need to speak with you.

maureen speak

↓

Dennis!

dennis

↓

OMG, what are you doing here?

↓

Well, uh, I have reason to believe that someone is here to

believe reason

↓

destroy this special day for you, so I'm sure to make sure

destroy special

↓

that doesn't happen.

happen

↓

That is so sweet, Dennis.

dennis sweet

↓

I also brought along some legal documents, so if we could

along brought documents legal

↓

just wrap this up lickety-split.

split wrap

↓

Legal documents? What?

documents legal

↓

Yeah, I realize my timing is a little unorthodox, but, uh, I

realize timing unorthodox

↓

figure what better way to make sure your union is totally

figure union

↓

complete than by having you sign these documents that I need you to sign?

complete documents having sign

↓

So if I can just get your signature right here, and I'll

signature

↓

run up and get Liam's signature, and this'll be on the books and

books liams signature thisll

↓

your wedding... Muh!

wedding

↓

My Maureen, you've... you've enhanced yourself.

maureen

↓

Yeah, I got my tooth fixed.

fixed tooth

↓

I'm talking about your tits!

tits

↓

You big, giant new titties, Maureen!

giant maureen titties

↓

Why would you do that now?

↓

Why not when we were together when I could've...?

couldve

↓

I told you I was willing to change.

change willing

↓

Yeah, but I didn't know you meant physically,

meant physically

↓

that you would change physically.

change physically

↓

Why weren't you more clear with me, Maureen?

clear maureen

↓

All right, you know what?

↓

I'm not gonna get distracted.

distracted

↓

Just, just sign right here... Wait! What are you doing in here?!

sign

↓

You can't see the bride before the ceremony!

bride ceremony

↓

No, no!

↓

Get out!

↓

I just need her to sign this!

sign

↓

No! Get out of here!

↓

Wait, wait, wait! Maureen!

maureen

↓

No matter what happens, you got to go through with this!

happens matter

↓

Out!

↓

Liam is your destiny, Maureen!

destiny liam maureen

↓

Oh, here he comes.

comes

↓

I didn't get it.

↓

I mean, I'm so close, I'm so close.

close

↓

Do you know where Liam is? Maybe I can get his signature first.

liam signature

↓

I didn't see him anywhere.

↓

I'm sorry, but I got to bring this up.

bring

↓

Things are getting really weird.

weird

↓

I mean, check out Pappy McPoyle.

check mcpoyle

↓

What is that all about?

↓

I'll tell you what that's all about.

↓

Zombies.

zombies

↓

Zombies?

zombies

↓

I seen it once before in a rat, and I seen it now in men.

seen

↓

Once one gets a taste for its own kind, it can spread through

spread taste

↓

the pack like a wildfire.

pack

↓

Mindlessly chomping and biting at their own hinds.

biting chomping

↓

Nothing but the taste of flesh on their minds.

flesh minds taste

↓

You know the thing about a rat?

↓

It's got life in its eyes.

eyes life

↓

Black eyes like a doll's eye.

black black-eyes dolls eyes

↓

Don't seem to be living at all when it come at ya.

living

↓

Till it bites ya.

bites till

↓

And then the eyes roll over white.

eyes roll white

↓

You don't hear nothing but the screaming and the hollering.

screaming

↓

What are you doing?!

↓

Are you doing the speech from Jaws?

jaws speech

↓

- Nah... - Are you doing Jaws?

jaws

↓

We don't have time for this shit.

↓

This is serious.

serious

↓

Look, it wasn't zombies, okay?

zombies

↓

Really?

↓

Yeah.

↓

Then you explain what happened next.

explain happened

↓

Okay, it's time to get out of here.

↓

I mean, look at that guy.

↓

The McPoyles sprung from my loins, fully formed!

formed fully loins mcpoyles sprung

↓

One of them babies tried to eat me!

babies tried

↓

I ate him first!

↓

I ate him first!

↓

Okay, I'm with Charlie. I'm leaving.

charlie leaving

↓

Wait. You guys are just gonna leave?

↓

You're gonna, you're gonna go?

↓

Yeah, we're out.

↓

You know what? I don't give a shit.

↓

Yeah, go, go, go. Yeah, get the hell out of here!

↓

I didn't want you here in the first place!

place

↓

Yeah, I understand the McPoyle bloodline's very strong.

mcpoyle strong

↓

Legions of us thousand sturdy ones ruled this fine land.

land ones ruled sturdy thousand

↓

Our bloodline was as pure as the driven snow.

bloodline driven pure snow

↓

Mm-hmm. And then what happened?

happened

↓

Syphilis killed about half of us.

half killed syphilis

↓

Mm.

↓

Mongoloidism got most of the rest.

rest

↓

Right.

↓

Yep.

↓

Well, there's somebody inside who wants to talk to you about this.

somebody wants

↓

Mm?

↓

Who's this guy?

↓

Ryan!

ryan

↓

We need to talk!

↓

We'll leave you guys alone.

alone

↓

Let them hash it out themselves.

hash

↓

It'll bust up.

bust itll

↓

What the hell is that?

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

I'm gonna go.

↓

No, no, no, Deandra!

deandra

↓

What?

↓

- No, you gotta stay! - I don't have to stay.

↓

You gotta finish this.

finish

↓

Uh, I'm not going to.

↓

But we're not done!

↓

Don't, don't go out there!

↓

Deandra!

deandra

↓

And we never saw Dee again.

↓

Oh, no.

↓

No.

↓

We saw Dee.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Yeah, that's when the shit started hitting the fan.

hitting started

↓

Oh, look, there's Dee! Dee!

↓

Dee! Don't go down there!

↓

Do not go down there!

↓

We just got attacked by a bunch of zombies!

attacked bunch zombies

↓

Yeah, and the shuttle bus is gone!

gone shuttle

↓

A zombie must have stolen your car!

must stolen zombie

↓

Your car is gone!

gone

↓

There's no way out of here!

↓

There's no way out!

↓

What are you doing?

↓

She's infected! She's infected!

infected

↓

Liam? Liam?!

liam

↓

Liam! Hello, Liam?

liam

↓

Frank?

frank

↓

Hi, Dennis.

dennis

↓

What did you do with Liam?

liam

↓

You're too late.

late

↓

He's getting talked out of it!

talked

↓

Ha-ha-ha!

↓

Get out of my way.

↓

No!

↓

Get out of my way, Frank!

frank

↓

Hey, man.

↓

What are you guys doing?

↓

I'm begging Liam for forgiveness!

begging forgiveness liam

↓

It's time we move on.

↓

Liam convinced me it's not

convinced liam

↓

our blood that's being tainted.

blood tainted

↓

It's us tainting the blood of others.

blood others

↓

McPoyles will take over the world!

mcpoyles world

↓

Goddamn it! It backfired!

backfired goddamn goddamn-it

↓

Wonderful.

↓

And first step towards that is signing this.

signing step

↓

So Liam, if you'd just sign right there, please.

liam sign

↓

Just sign right there.

sign

↓

Go ahead.

ahead go-ahead

↓

You got it.

↓

Stupid asses.

asses stupid

↓

One down, one to go.

↓

Nice try, Frank.

frank

↓

What the hell is going on?

↓

Get the hell out of the way.

↓

Get out of the way!

↓

Jesus Christ!

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

We gotta get out of here.

↓

I'm not going anywhere, Frank.

frank

↓

I'm not going anywhere till I get that signature.

signature till

↓

Go, go, go!

↓

Hey, dude, check it out.

check

↓

Remember when Dee, you know,

remember

↓

she sucked that bat poison

poison sucked

↓

or whatever out of Frank's head from the vampire bat?

franks head vampire

↓

Yeah.

↓

That must be what turned her into a zombie.

must turned zombie

↓

Why would a vampire bat turn you into a zombie?

vampire zombie

↓

You're mixing up your horror genres.

horror mixing

↓

If anything, it would turn you into a vampire.

vampire

↓

Right or a bat, or a bat.

↓

Or Batman.

batman

↓

No, a vampire turns you into a vampire.

turns vampire

↓

A zombie turns you into a zombie

turns zombie

↓

and Batman didn't get turned into anything.

batman turned

↓

He just likes bats.

bats likes

↓

That can't possibly be what Batman's about.

possibly

↓

It's about a grown man who dresses up like a bat?

dresses grown

↓

And goes around solving crimes and mysteries, yes.

crimes mysteries solving

↓

These are Academy Award winning movies.

academy award award-winning movies winning

↓

This is serious stuff.

serious stuff

↓

Well, you know the Academy, Charlie, I mean...

academy charlie

↓

I know the Academy as well as anybody.

academy anybody

↓

Sometimes, it's atrocious.

sometimes

↓

Well, to bring it all back

bring

↓

around, I think when Dee drank

drank

↓

the bat blood, that's how she got sick.

blood sick

↓

Frank's blood.

blood franks

↓

Yes, but the bat juices.

juices

↓

You know, the bat saliva, bat rabies.

rabies saliva

↓

No, no, it's not... Bat rabies, I buy.

rabies

↓

Bat rabies.

rabies

↓

Yeah.

↓

Like the... Dude, we got to get out of here.

↓

Yeah, go.

↓

Things had gotten completely insane.

completely completely-insane gotten insane

↓

Dennis was trying to get the signature from Maureen, but we

dennis maureen signature

↓

were just trying to get the hell out of there.

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

What the hell?

↓

Frank, what the hell's going on?

frank hells

↓

Dude, we got to get out of here.

↓

Where's Dennis?

dennis

↓

I lost him.

lost

↓

You guys, I couldn't get it.

↓

I couldn't get it.

↓

She wouldn't sign it.

sign

↓

I couldn't get the stupid bitch to sign.

bitch sign stupid stupid-bitch

↓

She didn't sign?

sign

↓

This has all gone bad.

gone

↓

It's gone terribly, terribly bad.

gone terribly

↓

What did you do?

↓

I did something bad.

↓

I did something really, really bad; guys, we got to get out of

↓

here before everybody finds out what happened.

everybody finds happened

↓

Guys, I messed up.

messed

↓

I messed up bad.

messed

↓

All right, guys, let's just make a break for it.

break

↓

Which way?

↓

One, two, three, go.

three

↓

Come on, come on, this way, this way, this way.

↓

My face! My face!

face

↓

My face!

face

↓

One, two, three.

three

↓

Oh, God!

↓

Frank!

frank

↓

Over here, over here.

↓

And then that's where you picked us up, and honestly,

picked

↓

that's all that we know.

↓

Yes.

↓

So you're telling me that this was a wedding full of zombies?

full telling wedding zombies

↓

Yeah.

↓

Well, bat rabies zombies.

rabies zombies

↓

Whatever.

↓

There was weird incestuous jealousies, we don't know what

weird

↓

was going on.

↓

Bottom line, you got the wrong guys. We're innocent.

bottom bottom-line innocent line

↓

Yes, we're totally innocent.

innocent

↓

Marconi, we just picked somebody up from the site who's

picked site somebody

↓

claiming to know what happened.

claiming happened

↓

She was locked in a freezer.

freezer locked

↓

Don't let her in here.

↓

No, she's been infected.

infected

↓

I'm not infected, you stupid idiots.

idiots infected stupid

↓

No one was infected.

infected

↓

Here's what happened.

happened

↓

Let them hash it out themselves.

hash

↓

It'll bust up.

bust itll

↓

Yeah.

↓

I'm gonna go.

↓

Deandra.

deandra

↓

Dee's nuts.

dees dees-nuts nuts

↓

What's the haps?

haps

↓

Here, have a sip, right from the cow's titty.

cows titty

↓

You'll love it.

love

↓

No, Bill, no.

bill

↓

I got to get out of here, okay?

↓

Shit is going crazy.

crazy

↓

No, don't go.

↓

Party's just starting.

partys starting

↓

You got to have some.

↓

Come on, try it.

↓

Come on, it'll loosen you up a bit, make your butthole hot.

butthole itll loosen

↓

How is drinking a glass of milk going to loosen me up, Bill?

bill drinking glass loosen milk

↓

Well, I spiked the milk with methylenedioxypyrovalerone.

milk spiked

↓

What?

↓

It's bath salts.

bath bath-salts salts

↓

Yeah, yeah, it's like coke and acid and meth all combined.

acid coke combined meth

↓

It's awesome.

awesome

↓

Yeah, I get it.

↓

So everyone here is on bath salts?

bath bath-salts salts

↓

Yeah, pretty much.

↓

Oh, my God, just move.

↓

Bath salts?

bath bath-salts salts

↓

The drug that makes people eat each other's faces?

drug faces makes others

↓

Wait, that would explain the zombie behavior.

behavior explain zombie

↓

Right, okay, Dee, so you were on bath salts and that's why you

bath bath-salts salts

↓

went all nuts on us.

nuts

↓

Now it makes sense.

makes makes-sense sense

↓

That is not why I went nuts on you guys.

nuts

↓

Huh?

↓

I went nuts on you because of what you assholes did to my

assholes nuts

↓

goddamn car!

goddamn

↓

Dude, when was the last time you drove a car?

drove

↓

Don't worry about it, man.

worry

↓

I can drive; I remember how.

drive remember

↓

What?

↓

No, no, no, no, no.

↓

No, no, no, no, wait.

↓

No!

↓

What happened, dude?

happened

↓

What happened?

happened

↓

I forgot how to drive.

drive forgot

↓

I forgot how to drive.

drive forgot

↓

Oh, God.

↓

Oh, look, Charlie, there's Dee.

charlie

↓

Dee, don't go down that way.

↓

We just got attacked by a bunch of zombie people.

attacked bunch zombie

↓

The shuttle's gone.

gone

↓

Zombies must have stolen your car.

must stolen zombies

↓

There's no way out of here.

↓

Dude...

↓

You sons of bitches!

bitches sons

↓

You're gonna pay!

↓

You're all gonna pay!

↓

I'll kill you!

kill

↓

You assholes, you'll pay!

assholes

↓

No, we won't pay.

↓

We never do.

↓

Okay, well, there it is.

↓

You know, there's the whole story.

story whole whole-story

↓

Ponderosa spiked the punch.

ponderosa punch spiked

↓

Somebody hopped up on bath salts but Liam's face,

bath bath-salts face hopped liams salts somebody

↓

and, uh, case closed, you know?

case case-closed closed

↓

Hey, good for you.

↓

Good for us.

↓

Bye.

↓

Ba-da-bing.

bing

↓

Hey, whoa.

whoa

↓

Sit down, slick.

slick

↓

Now that may explain some of the shit that went on here, but it

explain

↓

doesn't answer the question of the missing bride.

answer bride missing question

↓

Since you're the one with motive and the last one to be

motive

↓

seen with her, you're my new #1 suspect.

seen suspect

↓

No, no.

↓

That's... I didn't murder her.

murder

↓

Then tell me what happened to her!

happened

↓

I-I don't know.

↓

I don't know.

↓

Listen, if you confess, I can help you, but you got

confess

↓

to tell me what happened.

happened

↓

Okay, all right, all right, all right. Okay.

↓

Look, if I tell you what I did, will you just help me, please?

↓

Because I need help.

↓

I'll see what I can do with the DA, but I need you to confess.

confess

↓

Okay, fine.

↓

Fine.

↓

I-I was just going to see her to get the final signature so I

final signature

↓

could put this whole thing behind me.

behind whole

↓

When I saw her... Something bad happened.

happened

↓

Something very bad.

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

Oh, God, Maureen.

maureen

↓

That was terrible.

↓

Who did those tits?

tits

↓

The nipple placement is crazy.

crazy nipple placement

↓

- I love you, Dennis Reynolds. - No, you don't.

dennis dennis-reynolds love reynolds

↓

I love you.

love

↓

No, look, you're just gonna sign these papers and we're

papers sign

↓

gonna be done with this, okay?

↓

Never.

↓

Let's run away together.

↓

Oh, I'm gonna run away, but not with you.

↓

I'm gonna find you.

↓

Oh, no, no, you're not gonna find me, no, no.

↓

We can't do this, Maureen.

maureen

↓

Oh, no, please.

↓

What have I done?

↓

Oh, God, what have I done?

↓

Oh, God.

↓

Oh, God!

↓

So all that shit about us ruining the wedding...

ruining wedding

↓

And the zombies and the bath salts and the blood...

bath bath-salts blood salts zombies

↓

It turns out you blew it yourself.

blew turns

↓

Yeah, congratulations, Frank.

congratulations frank

↓

You win.

↓

I'm gonna be paying alimony to that crazy bitch for the rest of my life.

alimony bitch crazy crazy-bitch life paying paying-alimony rest

↓

You expect me to believe this woman's gonna throw her entire

believe entire expect throw womans

↓

life away just to sleep with her ex-husband on her wedding night?

husband life night sleep wedding

↓

Huh?

↓

Really?

↓

Mr. Reynolds, you're free to go.

free reynolds

↓

What?

↓

Why am I free...?

free

↓

No.

↓

Yes.

↓

No.

↓

Someone posted your bail.

bail posted

↓

Come on, silly head.

head silly

↓

Let's go home and put this whole adventure behind us.

adventure behind home whole

↓

No.

↓

No!

↓

No!

↓

No, you got to help me.

↓

What have I done?

↓

You got to help me!

↓

What have I done? No! No! No!

↓

Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com

corrections sync