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Smiling Friends

Season 3, Episode 7 โ€” Shmaloogles

TMDB episode metadata
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Hey, boys! Thanks for coming in on such short notice.
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-No worries, it's our job. -Yeah.
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Cool, so anyways,
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you guys got a job to help the Shmaloogles
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in Shmaloogleville.
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Shmaloogles?
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Yeah, Shmaloogles.
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Iโ€™m-- I'm just reading off the card here, man.
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I don't write them, I just read them.
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It says, "The Shmaloogles in Shmaloogleville need help."
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So, that's all I know.
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Sounds like a fun job to me.
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Cool, any questions?
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Yeah, I actually do have a question.
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Who is that? Who's that man?
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It's my boy, Neil.
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We're gonna watch the Clerks movies
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in the Rumpus Room later.
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And look, s-- no pressure,
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but, like, if you guys want to, like, join us,
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that would be awesome.
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Maybe, yeah.
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I mean, it really just depends if we have time or not,
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right, Pim? 'Cause it's like...
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Yeah, if we get done in time, we'll let you know.
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Also, Neil did message Brian O'Halloran.
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He's... Dante in Clerks.
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So, I don't know if he'll come, but yeah.
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Brian was messaged.
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We're going to go on the job now, but we'll see, we'll let you know.
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See you later, Mr. Boss.
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Yeah, yeah, no worries. Have fun.
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So they don't like Clerks or what?
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No, man, I'm sure they like Clerks.
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Those guys just have a lot on their plate right now.
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Dude, that car is not meant for off-roading at all.
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This place looks lovely!
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Greetings! Thank you for coming to help us.
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I am King Shmaloogle, and this is Shmaloogleville.
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We Shmaloogles are a simple people.
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We spend most of our time Shmaloogleing.
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For fun, we also Gloogle.
fun
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But, of course,
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a day in Shmaloogleville wouldn't be the same
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without some good old-fashioned Woogling.
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This place seems like a paradise.
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What could you possibly need our help with?
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Shmaloogley-woogley-woo!
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Our Shmaloogle machine is boogling
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when it should be zoogling.
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It's making us so sad.
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Yeah. We can try to help you with that.
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Nah, dude. I'm-- I'm not doing this one.
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Wait, what? What's the matter, Charlie?
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Yeah, it's fine. I just... This is way more of a Pim job, man.
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And I think you're gonna do a really good job.
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-What do you mean? -I just--
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I know I'm not gonna add anything to this.
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Is it just the Shmaloogle stuff?
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-Okay, I understand. -It's everything.
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-Yeah, it doesn't feel like Charlie. -Yeah, it's everything.
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It's the look, it's the name, it's the problem they have.
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-It's all of it. -That's all right.
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I can do this on my own if you don't want to.
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-Yeah, that's all right. -Yeah, yeah. By the way, by the way,
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dude, I'll go grab us lunch and just tell me what you want from Wawa.
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Can I get a chicken salad wrap, actually?
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Absolutely, yeah.
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No worries, I'll do this while you're gone. Yeah.
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-Good. -All right, man.
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-All right, see you, Charlie. -All right. See you, man.
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Okay, let's see.
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What exactly is the problem again with the Shmaloogle machine?
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No! Everyone, hide!
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Pim!
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Wh-- What was that?
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That just happens every now and again.
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What?
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Hey! Look, everyone!
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I've got the Shmaloogle machine working!
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Huzzah!
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Shmaloogle celebration!
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Yay!
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I shall crush you into liquid!
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No, please don't do that!
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Quiet, you!
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Now, where was I?
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Now it's your turn!
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Wait a minute! Your head won't fit!
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You're not a Shmaloogle!
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Explain yourself!
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I'm Pim!
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The Shmaloogles called me and my friend to help them!
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It's my job!
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Dammit! I need more Shmaloogles then!
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Wait! What do you even need the Shmaloogles for
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in the first place?
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You really wanna know?
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What is wrong with you little freaks?
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We gotta do something.
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Relax, Charlie.
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There's nothing we can do.
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Why don't you chill out
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and have a homemade Shmaloogle shake
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that Princess Shmaloogle made?
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Hello. Have a Shmaloogle shake.
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No, I don't want a Shmaloogle milkshake.
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I want to get my friend and I want to go home.
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It's Shmaloogle o'clock.
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Hey, hey, stop doing your stupid little dance!
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The village was just attacked and your friends were kidnapped
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and you're not gonna do anything about it
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except for dance around and talk in nonsense?
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You suck and you're weak little cowards!
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He's right. I'm inspired.
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Me too!
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I feel funny inside.
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I want to fight!
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You know what? I don't like dancing around.
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I've been repressing this for too long.
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Let's go kill that wizard!
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Hey, come on now, guys.
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We're Shmaloogles, man.
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We don't fight.
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We sing and we dance.
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Fuck you!
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Guys, guys, guys, look. I like the direction you're going in,
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but I think we need to channel this energy into something more constructive.
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Like what?
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How about a cool fucking training montage?
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Ready to learn the horrible secret that will change your life forever?
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Yeah, I guess.
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Sorry, what's the problem?
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My hair is thinning!
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Okay, and what does that have to do with the Shmaloogles?
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I read on a forum
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that Shmaloogles are a natural remedy for hair loss,
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so I've been killing them
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and rubbing their juices on my scalp.
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There's nothing wrong with going bald, and it definitely doesn't mean
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you need to kill innocent creatures over it.
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Okay, okay, wow, okay, you really don't get it.
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Come over here. Let me show you something, come here.
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-All right, you see this right here? -Yeah.
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This is called the Norwood Scale,
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and it goes from one to seven.
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And right now, I'm like a...
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like a three and a half, or a four.
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And it's just getting worse.
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I think you're thinking about it too much. I don't even think people notice.
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Wait, let me guess. Just shave it off and accept it, right?
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-Yeah, like just own it. -Yeah, yeah.
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A lot of people go bald and they just own it.
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-Who? Who? -You know...
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There's lots of celebrities that are bald.
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You mean like rich, handsome people
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who can hire like personal trainers?
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I don't think that matters. Balding is fine.
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It's just I don't think hair matters as much as you think.
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Okay, okay. Look. That's great. Hold on to that thought.
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I want you to tell me
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what you think this guy does for a living, okay?
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-Like a... -Go.
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Looks like a construction worker, a mechanic.
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-Just someone who works... -Interesting.
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So sort of like blue collar,
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-bottom of the bottom of the society. -Yeah-- No, no.
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No, there's nothing wrong with jobs like that.
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-No! -He looks like he works with his hands,
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like a laborer type of job. Sure.
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Perfect answer.
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-What's your point though? Why? -No, no. There's no trick.
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Let me just... Okay. Now, now,
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what does this guy do?
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-Right? -You just put hair on him?
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-I mean-- -Still a construction worker?
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He could, like, yeah, I mean...
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Could he? Really? Really?
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You wouldn't say CEO? Or president?
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You'd say laborer, really?
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Come on, dude, be honest, come on, come on.
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I do kind of see your point, yeah.
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So, you agree that me killing Shmaloogles
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is totally justified, then?
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Look, being locked up here all by yourself looking at images
โ†“
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on a scary orb can't be good for anyone.
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Have you ever thought about talking to a professional about this?
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No, I've never told anyone about my hair loss,
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and I never will!
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The only reason I've told you is because I'm going to kill you!
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No, please don't!
โ†“
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Yo, man, give me my friend back and we'll call it even.
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I got a fucking army with me.
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How wonderful!
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The Shmaloogles have come right to my doorstep for me to murder!
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Attack!
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Man.
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Man, those stairs killed me.
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Charlie!
โ†“
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For your relentless attacks on our people and our village,
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we sentence you to death.
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Any last words?
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Yeah!
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Smile and blow me!
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Wait, Mr. Wizard!
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You should tell them why you did what you did!
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I'd rather die!
โ†“
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Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!
โ†“
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Look, you're balding,
โ†“
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and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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Tell them that you've been using Shmaloogles to try and cure it.
โ†“
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No, it's a cowlick,
โ†“
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plus the lighting is all weird in here and everything.
โ†“
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It's...
โ†“
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All right. Fine. Fine!
โ†“
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I'm going bald.
โ†“
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That's your problem?
โ†“
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Dude, you don't need Shmaloogles.
โ†“
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You just need, like, finasteride and minoxidil.
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Yeah, but...
โ†“
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I mean, don't those drugs come with, like,
โ†“
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nasty side effects or something?
โ†“
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For some guys, yeah.
โ†“
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For me personally, I've been on it for ten years.
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I've never had those issues personally, but...
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I didn't know that, Charlie.
โ†“
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Yeah, man. If I never got on medication, I would be fully bald at this point.
โ†“
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I'd be like that guy right there.
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But, you know, for you,
โ†“
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the Norwood level that you're at right now,
โ†“
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your hair is totally savable.
โ†“
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No, I think you're right.
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I-- I really think you're right.
โ†“
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I just gotta bite the bullet and just try it.
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And you know what?
โ†“
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Even if I do get side effects,
โ†“
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at least I tried something, right?
โ†“
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So, does this mean you won't kill the Shmaloogles anymore?
โ†“
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I suppose so.
โ†“
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Shmaloogletastic!
โ†“
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So, what now?
โ†“
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You guys wanna get Wawa?
โ†“
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See, Charlie?
โ†“
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Turns out you are good at helping silly characters smile.
โ†“
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Pim, you're the smile expert, buddy, all right?
โ†“
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Everything I know, I learned from you. All right, let's get that out of the way.
โ†“
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I'll tell you what, maybe I'll even do a little bit of the Shmaloogle dance?
โ†“
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What if I do that?
โ†“
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By the way, I just wanted to bring this up.
โ†“
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When we were storming the castle before and going up the steps,
โ†“
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I saw you take a picture of Princess Shmaloogle
โ†“
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from underneath her dress.
โ†“
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I just want to say I'm really not okay with that.
โ†“
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What? Are you talking to me?
โ†“
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Yeah, I'm talking to you.
โ†“
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-I didn't do that. -I swear I saw you behind us.
โ†“
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Wait, wait, not only did I not do that, it's not even possible.
โ†“
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I haven't had my phone on me all day.
โ†“
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I forgot it at the office. Look.
โ†“
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Gosh, I didn't know you didn't have your phone.
โ†“
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Maybe it was just the way your hand was moving or something.
โ†“
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-Yes. -Forget I said anything.
โ†“
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I'm sorry.
โ†“
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I mean, the vibe's ruined now, dude.
โ†“
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So, what's amazing about this shot is,
โ†“
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-we had a limited space-- -Hang on a second, man.
โ†“
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I just want to hear this part.
โ†“
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
โ†“
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It's all good.
โ†“
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It's all good.