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Home » Idiocracy » S01E01 — Idiocracy

Idiocracy

Season 1, Episode 1 — Idiocracy

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should something go wrong with the experiment.
experiment
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We had a little less luck in finding a female researcher's dream within our ranks...
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and were forced to look into the private sector.
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This is Rita. Like Joe, she has no immediate family.
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Rita agreed to participate in this experiment...
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in exchange for dropping of certain criminal charges and a small fee.
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We did, however, have to come to an arrangement with her pimp,
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a gentleman who goes by the name Upgrayedd, which he spells thusly--
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With two D's, as he says, for a double dose of this pimping.
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Upgrayedd agreed to loan us Rita for exactly one year...
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and keep quiet on the matter, in exchange for certain leeways...
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with the local authorities in running his pimp game.
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First, however, there was the difficult challenge of gaining his trust.
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Collins, could we skip to the technicals, please?
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Sure. Let me just finish here.
finish
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You see, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
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Collins!
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Fine. We'll move on.
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It is a fascinating world though.
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Jesus, Collins.
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Yeah, that's-- [ Clears Throat ]
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Anyway, the experiment in which these two subjects...
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are to be placed into a dry freeze...
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for exactly one year is set to begin tomorrow.
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As you know, this is highly classified.
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However, if successful, we believe humans can be stored indefinitely.
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So this is kinda crazy, huh?
crazykinda
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What unit are you with? Oh, I ain't in the service.
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Oh, private sector. Okay.
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So, uh, what do you do? A little of this, a little of that.
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Wow, that's great.
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You know, I really envy people that can make a living that way--
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doing a little of this and a little of that.
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I, uh, had a neighbor, Glen. He used to make chainsaw sculptures,
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and then he'd sell 'em at the flea market.
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Yeah.
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So, uh, you an artist or somethin'?
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Uh, yeah. You do paintings or--
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- Yeah, paintings. - Okay, great.
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- Mm-hmm. - What do you paint mostly?
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I don't know, just... people and fruit and shit.
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Wow. Well, must be great to be able to make a living doing something you love.
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[ Scoffs ] Yeah. It's not all it's cracked up to be.
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[ Door Opens ] [ Collins ] Who wants to go first?
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Me.
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[ Machinery Whirring ] What the f-- Oh, hell, no. Uh-uh.
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Hey, no. You probably don't want to do that with the I.V.s attached and all.
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- What's the matter? - Man, Upgrayedd didn't tell me they'd be putting me...
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