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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

S3E1 — The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby

I'm a hundred percent positive that I am not your dad.

Dude, how can you be a hundred percent positive, dude?

After we made love, she did get pregnant,

but she had an abortion.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Season 3, Episode 1
The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby
Image #313

(sighs) Your mother and I were gonna keep this a secret, but...

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I'm a hundred percent positive that I am not your dad.

Dude, how can you be a hundred percent positive, dude?

(sighs) Your mother and I were gonna keep this a secret, but...

After we made love, she did get pregnant,

but she had an abortion.