Home » Ace Ventura Pet Detective (1994) » S01E01 — Ace Ventura Pet Detective

Ace Ventura Pet Detective (1994)

Season 1, Episode 1 — Ace Ventura Pet Detective

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...to get rid of...
#1001
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...big old...
#1002
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...Mr. Knish.
#1003
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Oh, boy.
#1004
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MARINO: Psst. Psst. Ace.
#1005
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Come here.
#1006
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Would you excuse me for just one second?
#1007
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Ladies and gentlemen...
#1008
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...my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino...
#1009
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...brought new evidence to my attention.
#1010
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Now...
#1011
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...history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive...
#1012
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...criminal investigator can be wrong.
#1013
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But if I am mistaken...
#1014
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...if the lieutenant is indeed a woman...
#1015
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...as she claims to be...
#1016
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...then, my friend...
#1017
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...She is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen.
#1018
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That's why Roger Podacter is dead.
#1019
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He found Captain Winkie.
#1020
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Good night. You've been a wonderful audience. Be sure to tip your waitress.
#1021
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Die, animal boy.
#1022
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Quick decision.
#1023
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Loser.
#1024
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- Ace. You have any more gum? - Yeah, Dan?
#1025
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That's none of your damn business. Stay out of my personal affairs.
#1026
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MARINO: You're a weird guy, Ace. A weird guy.
#1027
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ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen...
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...the Miami Dolphins are proud...
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...to welcome back to Joe Robbie Stadium...
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...our beloved mascot...
#1031
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...and the star of our halftime show:
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Snowflake.
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And now...
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...returning for the second half, the Dolphins' most valuable player...
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...Dan Marino.
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[MIMICKING PIGEON]
#1037
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Idiot.
#1038
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Do you know what you've done? You just cost me 25 grand, Polly.
#1039
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MAN: Yeah? Blow me.
#1040
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Really?
#1041
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[BOTH GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]
#1042
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ANNOUNCER: The National Football League...
#1043
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...would like to offer a special thank you to the man who rescued Dan Marino...
#1044
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...and our beloved Snowflake.
#1045
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A great humanitarian...
#1046
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...and a lover of all animals:
#1047
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Mr. Ace Ventura.
#1048
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MAN: Get off me!
#1049
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Get off me!
#1050
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[English - US - SDH]
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