Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S08E08 — Charlie Rules the World

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 8, Episode 8 — Charlie Rules the World

You were disrespectful to me.

#1

⇓

That's the past.

#2

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God, get a life.

#3

⇓

This is my life, bitch.

#4

⇓

You bitch!

#5

⇓

Aw, you slut.

#6

⇓

Ah, hold still, Charlie... you're flickering.

#7

⇓

Sorry, it's... I'm trying to get you good images, but I keep getting

#8

⇓

shocked a little bit.

#9

⇓

Well, don't let that affect your work.

#10

⇓

No, I'm really trying not to.

#11

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It's just that, you know, I have to run the wires from the other building...

#12

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Building and, you know, there's asbestos in the ducts, which...

#13

⇓

Good for breathing, so I'm tired.

#14

⇓

Why are you watching this crap?

#15

⇓

Come on, turn the TV off.

#16

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Let's go out, let's do something... I'm bored.

#17

⇓

Hey, let's go dancing, huh?

#18

⇓

I want to do something.

#19

⇓

Dancing?

#20

⇓

We're watching Real Housewives.

#21

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You know, there's nothing real about this shit, Frank.

#22

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You know that, come on.

#23

⇓

Real women don't even look like that.

#24

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Hey, guys.

#25

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That is what real women look like.

#26

⇓

Dee, are you sick?

#27

⇓

No, I feel great.

#28

⇓

Oh, I haven't had a chance to shower for a few days.

#29

⇓

I've been gaming like a loon.

#30

⇓

You've been what?

#31

⇓

Gaming... I've been playing this online video game.

#32

⇓

It is awesome.

#33

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Charlie, speaking of which, you want to come play my avatar for

#34

⇓

a little bit while I run some errands?

#35

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I don't want my crops to die.

#36

⇓

Nah, I'm kind of busy working for the guys at the ele...

#37

⇓

Shit!

#38

⇓

Yes, he's working for us.

#39

⇓

He will do nothing of the sort.

#40

⇓

We're going dancing. Come on!

#41

⇓

What if I give you three bucks?

#42

⇓

Hey, you're our employee.

#43

⇓

You do what we say.

#44

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I pay your rent.

#45

⇓

Do not drop those wires!

#46

⇓

Hey, Charlie, to live is to dance. Let's go.

#47

⇓

Charlie, what if I gave you five bucks?

#48

⇓

You owe me five bucks!

#49

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Ah, shit! Screw it!

#50

⇓

Son of a bitch! Shit!

#51

⇓

All right, I'll tell you what.

#52

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I'm gonna go with Dee, okay?

#53

⇓

But I'm getting sick of this shit, I really am.

#54

⇓

You treat me like a dumb-dumb and a grunt, and I have

#55

⇓

potential, you know?

#56

⇓

I can go places, I can do things.

#57

⇓

Who knows?

#58

⇓

I might even rule the world one day.

#59

⇓

Rule the world, huh?

#60

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Yeah, if that happens, I'll blow myself.

#61

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Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

#62

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Okay, so it's called TechPocalypse, right?

#63

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And we're post-apocalypse, and we have to rebuild civilization.

#64

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This is me, ZingingCutie23.

#65

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down!

#66

⇓

ZingingCutie 23.

#67

⇓

Are you pretending that you're 23 years old?

#68

⇓

- No. - It seems like it.

#69

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No, I... It's... I... It's a random number that I picked.

#70

⇓

It's a random number?

#71

⇓

It's a number to put at the end of that. You know what?

#72

⇓

Just watch over my tribe, and make sure nobody, you know,

#73

⇓

takes it over, and I'll give you your money, okay?

#74

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Okay. Okay. Wait.

#75

⇓

Hold on a second. What is that?

#76

⇓

That's you.

#77

⇓

You're one of my subjects.

#78

⇓

That's me.

#79

⇓

Why am I in the game?

#80

⇓

Is that Mac?

#81

⇓

Of course that's Mac.

#82

⇓

You guys are all here.

#83

⇓

See, Mac's my handmaiden.

#84

⇓

How do you do?

#85

⇓

How do you do?

#86

⇓

And Dennis is a midget blacksmith.

#87

⇓

Frank is a mutant half-donkey.

#88

⇓

And you're my jester.

#89

⇓

Why am I eating out of a trough?

#90

⇓

Made sense.

#91

⇓

Are you kidding me?

#92

⇓

So let me get this straight.

#93

⇓

You've been playing this game for, like, a week straight just

#94

⇓

so you feel like you lord over all of us? Is that what this is?

#95

⇓

Charlie, do you want your five bucks or not?

#96

⇓

I want my five dollars.

#97

⇓

It's just pathetic, Dee.

#98

⇓

Okay, well, maybe it is.

#99

⇓

Maybe it isn't.

#100

⇓

I really do need the money, though.

#101

⇓

Yeah, well, then get to work.

#102

⇓

Can you give me an advance?

#103

⇓

No, not in advance.

#104

⇓

We'll see how well you do.

#105

⇓

All right, I got this.

#106

⇓

I got this.

#107

⇓

Yeah.

#108

⇓

See, this is what I'm talking about, guys, huh?

#109

⇓

I mean, playing online video games and watching stupid

#110

⇓

reality shows... that's not real life.

#111

⇓

It's keeping people from experiencing real life.

#112

⇓

Yeah?

#113

⇓

This is real.

#114

⇓

It's real, but it feels weird as shit.

#115

⇓

There's nobody else in the bar dancing.

#116

⇓

We're setting the tone, Frank.

#117

⇓

Yeah, we will lead, and others will follow.

#118

⇓

I'm stopping.

#119

⇓

Oh, come on, don't stop.

#120

⇓

Look, all right, let's go do some shots, and that will get

#121

⇓

you guys fired up, and we'll come back out, and we'll do some

#122

⇓

more of this or whatever.

#123

⇓

You know, you can do the move, and... well, come on, come on, come on, come on.

#124

⇓

Hey, uh, bartender, three shots of whiskey, come on.

#125

⇓

Hey, I know you guys.

#126

⇓

You're the donkey man and the princess, right?

#127

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We don't know what you're talking about.

#128

⇓

Take a hike, Bozo.

#129

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Geek.

#130

⇓

Check it out. Look at this.

#131

⇓

This is... this is you, right?

#132

⇓

This-this is Frank and-and Mac from ZingingCutie's tribe?

#133

⇓

What the hell is this?

#134

⇓

This is Dee's online video game, and she's created characters for all of us.

#135

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She's humiliating us virtually.

#136

⇓

Who cares? It's a video game.

#137

⇓

What do you mean, who cares?

#138

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This is starting to piss me off.

#139

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Stop getting invested in fake realities.

#140

⇓

Let's live real life!

#141

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Well, Dennis, my anger feels very real.

#142

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Are you feeling it?

#143

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Are you feeling it?

#144

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Yeah, well, it's not real.

#145

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It's not.

#146

⇓

I-I-I... I'm angry.

#147

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Okay, it's not real, and you know what it also isn't?

#148

⇓

It also isn't epic, okay?

#149

⇓

And you know what is epic?

#150

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Doing these shots, going out there and dancing.

#151

⇓

Come on, do it, do the shots.

#152

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I'll do the shots.

#153

⇓

I'll just do the shots.

#154

⇓

How about that?

#155

⇓

Mm-hmm.

#156

⇓

Oh, somebody got a smart phone.

#157

⇓

Okay, you know, I tell you what, Carl.

#158

⇓

Let's settle for a C trade.

#159

⇓

We'll call it a day on that.

#160

⇓

I got to run.

#161

⇓

ZingingCutie44 is back, so I'm out.

#162

⇓

Changed your name.

#163

⇓

What the hell are you doing, Charlie?

#164

⇓

I told you to just feed my crops.

#165

⇓

I did, I fed your crops, and then I gathered some rocks, and

#166

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I built a little wall around your tribe.

#167

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Then I used the leftover rocks to dam the river so that you could fish.

#168

⇓

Now you're doing well in the game.

#169

⇓

You sucked at it, all right?

#170

⇓

All you did was spend your money on stuff you don't need, just

#171

⇓

like in real life.

#172

⇓

I don't do that in real life.

#173

⇓

Yes, you do.

#174

⇓

What did you get at the store?

#175

⇓

I bought a smart phone so that I can play the game on the go.

#176

⇓

What's going on with the fingernails?

#177

⇓

Well, I had those done like Flo-Jo.

#178

⇓

Why?! It's craziness.

#179

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I just thought it would be funny. I... Dee, this is your problem.

#180

⇓

I could take this money, I could feed myself for a month.

#181

⇓

I would buy milk, I would buy flour, I'd buy vitamins, I'd

#182

⇓

boil them down to little energy balls to sustain me, but whatever. Forget it.

#183

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Enjoy your game, enjoy all your new followers, and you're welcome.

#184

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Oh, shit!

#185

⇓

Charlie, you got me 31 new followers?

#186

⇓

Yeah.

#187

⇓

That's amazing!

#188

⇓

Hey, do you want to maybe team up?

#189

⇓

No, 'cause I don't want to be a slave.

#190

⇓

Come on, Charlie, please.

#191

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I need you.

#192

⇓

It's, like, when I'm doing good in the game, I'm doing good in life.

#193

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Oh, I want to make fun of you for saying that, but I kind of

#194

⇓

know what you mean.

#195

⇓

It's like I'm thriving.

#196

⇓

You are thriving.

#197

⇓

Yeah, I did feel that, and I... You felt that?

#198

⇓

I did, I felt that, you know, and I never get to thrive.

#199

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I want to be the guy who thrives for once.

#200

⇓

Right? Me, neither.

#201

⇓

All right, I'll tell you what... make me your king, and let's get rocking.

#202

⇓

Ew, no. I don't want to do that 'cause we'd have to be

#203

⇓

married, and that would be awful.

#204

⇓

Oh, okay, I'll see you later.

#205

⇓

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

#206

⇓

Sit down, sit down, sit down.

#207

⇓

I'll make you my king; just accept my request to consummate.

#208

⇓

Consummate? What is that?

#209

⇓

Have sex.

#210

⇓

Oh. So, um, we should have sex then?

#211

⇓

In the game.

#212

⇓

Yeah, in the game, sure, yeah.

#213

⇓

Yeah.

#214

⇓

Either way.

#215

⇓

Uh, so, push enter hard, or one, like, slow push, and you do your

#216

⇓

thing, or a little circular action?

#217

⇓

Just push the button, Charlie.

#218

⇓

Just push the button.

#219

⇓

That was good, right?

#220

⇓

Was it?

#221

⇓

I think.

#222

⇓

You see me, Frank, you see me coming?

#223

⇓

I see you, I see you.

#224

⇓

Oh, here comes another guy.

#225

⇓

I'm gonna fight him.

#226

⇓

Mac attack!

#227

⇓

Fight!

#228

⇓

I lost again!

#229

⇓

Goddamn it, how do I keep losing?

#230

⇓

I'm huge.

#231

⇓

Stop fighting every guy in the game.

#232

⇓

The fighting is the best part.

#233

⇓

It's the only reason I'm playing.

#234

⇓

Oh, my God, will you guys please shut up?

#235

⇓

I'm hungover as shit.

#236

⇓

We're playing TechPocalypse.

#237

⇓

Mac is a soiled fool, and I am a gorgeous girl with big cans and

#238

⇓

I'm banging all the fishermen in sight for fish and I'm also

#239

⇓

being catty with all the women in the game, like I'm a Real Housewife.

#240

⇓

Look, Dennis, I-I'm six-foot- ten.

#241

⇓

I have always wanted to be six- foot-ten.

#242

⇓

Hey, look, Mac, you're five- foot-nine, and Frank, you're a

#243

⇓

man... an ugly, old man!

#244

⇓

You're not understanding this, Dennis, but I think I have

#245

⇓

something that could help you wrap your head around it.

#246

⇓

I've never had my hair cut in a bedroom.

#247

⇓

Well, one thing I've learned from cutting hair all these

#248

⇓

years, Danielle, is you don't have to go to a high-end salon

#249

⇓

to get a high-end salon-quality cut.

#250

⇓

Little spritz?

#251

⇓

Why are we watching Dennis' sex tape?

#252

⇓

Shh.

#253

⇓

It's cold.

#254

⇓

I know.

#255

⇓

Well, we'll make it hot in a minute, don't worry about that.

#256

⇓

Well, don't... Well, it's always... there's

#257

⇓

always so much, so much preamble.

#258

⇓

Okay, here we go.

#259

⇓

Okay.

#260

⇓

Oh, oh, um, all right.

#261

⇓

All right.

#262

⇓

Whoa.

#263

⇓

Now, Dennis, how does this make you feel?

#264

⇓

Powerful.

#265

⇓

Yes, of course, but how does it affect you sexually?

#266

⇓

I'm very aroused right now.

#267

⇓

I, too, am aroused.

#268

⇓

I'm starting to swell up.

#269

⇓

Yeah.

#270

⇓

See, now all three of us are aroused, and there's not a woman in the room.

#271

⇓

See, this is no different than sports or video games.

#272

⇓

It's all a virtual experience.

#273

⇓

No, no, no, bullshit, this was real, okay, this happened, I

#274

⇓

did this.

#275

⇓

All right, I drew this woman in, I styled her hair, I entered her

#276

⇓

with almost no resistance.

#277

⇓

I did these things.

#278

⇓

You say it's real, but what even is reality?

#279

⇓

Yeah, who knows?

#280

⇓

We don't even know if we're in this room.

#281

⇓

We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.

#282

⇓

What are you talking about?

#283

⇓

I'm gonna go out into the real world again today and have real experiences.

#284

⇓

I'm gonna draw those people in to me, okay?

#285

⇓

A turtle's dream.

#286

⇓

That's crazy, lunacy.

#287

⇓

So, tell me something, Queen of Thrones, how about we stop

#288

⇓

being enemies, we start becoming friends here, huh?

#289

⇓

Charlie, I just got a new nose and I'm flying to Miami to get my lips inflated.

#290

⇓

Can you hang on one second?

#291

⇓

What, Dee, what are you buying?

#292

⇓

How are you paying for that?

#293

⇓

We have plenty of money.

#294

⇓

I know we have money.

#295

⇓

We have money because I... All right, you know what?

#296

⇓

Yes, fine, buy your lips, buy your noses, buy whatever you're gonna buy.

#297

⇓

All right, don't interrupt me when I'm running our tribe,

#298

⇓

okay, 'cause that's kind of a big deal.

#299

⇓

I know, I'm sorry.

#300

⇓

All right, so don't interrupt.

#301

⇓

Okay.

#302

⇓

Do me a favor, refill my bowl of energy balls, okay?

#303

⇓

Please make yourself useful.

#304

⇓

Sorry about that, Queen of Thrones, let me step into my office here.

#305

⇓

Hey, bitch!

#306

⇓

Frank, you are SweetPeaches69?

#307

⇓

How did you get so many followers?

#308

⇓

What can I say?

#309

⇓

Some girls are more popular than others.

#310

⇓

Are you wearing a mink coat?

#311

⇓

What, this old thing?

#312

⇓

Guy gave it to me for going down on him.

#313

⇓

I've been getting a lot of gifts lately.

#314

⇓

I just got sent a whole box of peaches... real ones.

#315

⇓

I'm eating like a goddamn islander.

#316

⇓

I'm living a pretty classy life these days.

#317

⇓

Ooh, you should come to my party.

#318

⇓

I'm gonna meet a lot of my online friends there.

#319

⇓

It's gonna be a very classy affair, but you can come anyway.

#320

⇓

Well, look, we can sit here, we can talk cheesesteaks all day

#321

⇓

long, but maybe you and I could get together at my bar, settle

#322

⇓

this thing once and for all.

#323

⇓

Charlie, we got to talk.

#324

⇓

Whoa.

#325

⇓

We're going to a party... a real one... Frank's throwing it.

#326

⇓

Yes, I know what's going on.

#327

⇓

I know everything that's happening.

#328

⇓

Do you know he has a bunch of followers?

#329

⇓

Do you know that he's parading around in a mink coat, and he humiliated me?

#330

⇓

I'm a queen, okay?

#331

⇓

I should be the one wearing mink and I should be throwing digs at him.

#332

⇓

You know what I mean?

#333

⇓

I should have a lot more followers.

#334

⇓

You want mink, Dee, you want a mink coat?

#335

⇓

You want a nice, real mink coat, not a virtual one like Frank?

#336

⇓

Don't dick around with this.

#337

⇓

Are you serious?

#338

⇓

I am dead serious.

#339

⇓

I trade with a guy online; he has a clothing store.

#340

⇓

I'm sure I could give him some crops, maybe a follower or two,

#341

⇓

and he'll give you a mink coat.

#342

⇓

For me?

#343

⇓

Would you like that?

#344

⇓

I would love that.

#345

⇓

You, you would like that, wouldn't you?

#346

⇓

You know how that's not gonna happen?

#347

⇓

What?

#348

⇓

It's not gonna happen if I'm not playing the goddamn game!

#349

⇓

Because when I'm not playing the game, people are attacking our

#350

⇓

tribe, okay, and that's a lot of pressure, that's a lot of stress.

#351

⇓

It's too much for you.

#352

⇓

And we could lose everything, we could lose everything that we

#353

⇓

have worked for... everything!

#354

⇓

I wasn't thinking.

#355

⇓

No, you're not really the thinking kind, though.

#356

⇓

I'm kind of the thinking one in the relationship, so... Right, thank you.

#357

⇓

Be pretty, you know, talk to me right.

#358

⇓

Yeah.

#359

⇓

Get my energy balls.

#360

⇓

Unbelievable.

#361

⇓

Hey, Charlie, we need to talk, dude.

#362

⇓

Well, well, well, if it isn't the soiled fool.

#363

⇓

Frank told you about that?

#364

⇓

Uh, no, everyone's talking about it online; it's hilarious.

#365

⇓

You destroyed your computer, you bashed it to bits.

#366

⇓

I'm assuming it got you in the eye... is that what's going on there?

#367

⇓

It bashed me back a little bit.

#368

⇓

Yeah, you should win those fights, you shouldn't lose...

#369

⇓

I did win, I did win, it just got a couple of good shots in.

#370

⇓

It did, yeah.

#371

⇓

Hey, Charlie, hey, listen, I want to tell you something.

#372

⇓

Um, Dee... Yeah?

#373

⇓

You're not going to offer our guest any?

#374

⇓

Of course I... of course, that's what I was doing.

#375

⇓

Yeah.

#376

⇓

Hey, Mac, hey, did you, did you want an energy ball or two?

#377

⇓

Yeah.

#378

⇓

Go ahead, have as many as you want... is that enough?

#379

⇓

That's... yeah, that's good.

#380

⇓

There you go, okay.

#381

⇓

Okay, you need to fuel up.

#382

⇓

Have a bunch of balls.

#383

⇓

Yeah, I do, thank you.

#384

⇓

Okay, thank you.

#385

⇓

Okay... don't touch.

#386

⇓

No, now I know.

#387

⇓

Right, yeah.

#388

⇓

I didn't mean that.

#389

⇓

And stop groveling, just... Let me know if you need...

#390

⇓

You're not pretty when you do that, so... Wow, you, like, totally

#391

⇓

psychologically, like, annihilated her.

#392

⇓

Yeah.

#393

⇓

You're good at building, I'm good at destroying.

#394

⇓

We should totally team up.

#395

⇓

Wait, you know what?

#396

⇓

Can you do me a favor?

#397

⇓

Can you watch her for a little while while I go meet a girl that I met online?

#398

⇓

A real girl?

#399

⇓

Yeah, a real girl.

#400

⇓

She's probably fat, right?

#401

⇓

Probably very fat, yeah.

#402

⇓

If she's got any fat friends, I'm, I'm in.

#403

⇓

If she has any fat friends, I'll let you know.

#404

⇓

Or ugly.

#405

⇓

Yeah, or ugly.

#406

⇓

If they're sick, that's fine, too.

#407

⇓

Yeah, or ugly or sick or, or male or female or whatever it is that you like.

#408

⇓

That's not the point.

#409

⇓

Like, the point is, you know how women get.

#410

⇓

You know, she catches wind that I'm meeting a girl, she's going to go...

#411

⇓

Oh, totally, totally.

#412

⇓

I hate women.

#413

⇓

Yeah, I-I know that you feel that way, but do what I'm asking

#414

⇓

and then I can help you out with the game.

#415

⇓

Okay, do what?

#416

⇓

Watch Dee.

#417

⇓

Oh, okay, yeah.

#418

⇓

Hello, hi.

#419

⇓

Anyone?

#420

⇓

Come on, hello, hi.

#421

⇓

God, it's unbelievable.

#422

⇓

Does anybody want to experience this?

#423

⇓

Anyone want to experience me?

#424

⇓

For real?

#425

⇓

Oasis Sensory Deprivation.

#426

⇓

Enter a new dimension.

#427

⇓

Change your perception.

#428

⇓

Experience a new reality.

#429

⇓

Experience a new reality.

#430

⇓

Stop getting invested in fake realities!

#431

⇓

I'm six foot, ten.

#432

⇓

You're five foot, nine.

#433

⇓

What even is reality?

#434

⇓

This is real.

#435

⇓

How do you do?

#436

⇓

We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.

#437

⇓

What is real?

#438

⇓

Is this real? Am I?

#439

⇓

Who are you?

#440

⇓

Oh, I'm you.

#441

⇓

Huh.

#442

⇓

That's an amazing accent.

#443

⇓

I like yours as well.

#444

⇓

I think I know what reality is, but maybe I don't.

#445

⇓

Everything in life is becoming more and more virtual.

#446

⇓

Aw, don't be such a wanker.

#447

⇓

Life is all in your mind.

#448

⇓

If you believe it to be real, then it's real.

#449

⇓

I'm so confused, British Dennis.

#450

⇓

You create your own reality.

#451

⇓

I've known beggars to be kings and kings to be beggars, all

#452

⇓

because they believed it so.

#453

⇓

It's your choice.

#454

⇓

It's my choice.

#455

⇓

It's your universe.

#456

⇓

It's my universe.

#457

⇓

And you are God.

#458

⇓

I... am... God.

#459

⇓

Oh... oh... oh, no... okay.

#460

⇓

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

#461

⇓

Charlie?

#462

⇓

Hey.

#463

⇓

Julie, right?

#464

⇓

The Queen of Thrones!

#465

⇓

The second most powerful player in the game.

#466

⇓

And you are the Mighty Rat Slayer.

#467

⇓

'Tis I, 'tis I!

#468

⇓

It's nice to meet you!

#469

⇓

Yeah, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I haven't had a chance to tidy myself.

#470

⇓

You know, when you're playing the game, you get caught up and...

#471

⇓

Have a seat! Have a seat!

#472

⇓

Wow, this is... It's cool to meet someone from the game, you know?

#473

⇓

I brought you something.

#474

⇓

You did?

#475

⇓

It's nothing, really.

#476

⇓

It's just, um... the best cheesecake in Philadelphia.

#477

⇓

You dog!

#478

⇓

Uh, I'll be the judge of that, all right?

#479

⇓

You little rascal, you.

#480

⇓

Uh, I don't normally meet people from the game, but you

#481

⇓

seem like such a nice guy.

#482

⇓

Thanks, yeah, yeah, you know... This is embarrassing, but I got

#483

⇓

you something too, you know?

#484

⇓

I don't want... I don't want to make you feel weird but here.

#485

⇓

Oh, how thoughtful.

#486

⇓

I wonder what it is.

#487

⇓

It's not much.

#488

⇓

Just a box of spiders.

#489

⇓

What the hell?

#490

⇓

Well, while we've been sitting here, my followers have

#491

⇓

burned your land, they've raped your people, and they've destroyed your tribe.

#492

⇓

You thought you could make a move on me, Queen of Thrones?

#493

⇓

Well, you were wrong.

#494

⇓

What?

#495

⇓

I just wanted to have lunch with you.

#496

⇓

Oh, right.

#497

⇓

Oh, let's have lunch because we're hungry and we want to eat food.

#498

⇓

Bullshit!

#499

⇓

You think I'd give up all this for lunch?

#500

⇓

You stupid, fat pig.

#501

⇓

I'm not fat.

#502

⇓

No, you're not fat, but you were... you were supposed to be.

#503

⇓

My friend Mac said you would be fat.

#504

⇓

Whatever.

#505

⇓

You're a dick.

#506

⇓

And your breath smells like dog food.

#507

⇓

Whatever, you bitch!

#508

⇓

I got the power now!

#509

⇓

I'm doing good in the game, so I'm doing good in life!

#510

⇓

Oh, look who's here.

#511

⇓

Well, it's nice that you came.

#512

⇓

A little overdressed.

#513

⇓

You said that this was a classy affair, Frank.

#514

⇓

It was a classy affair until you showed up.

#515

⇓

You bitch!

#516

⇓

Where are your 101 Dalmatians tonight?

#517

⇓

He's better at the zings than you!

#518

⇓

All right, Dee, give me your phone, give me your headset... I

#519

⇓

got to get back online ASAP.

#520

⇓

I just made some big things happen.

#521

⇓

Big things, baby!

#522

⇓

Boom!

#523

⇓

No.

#524

⇓

She's not with you anymore, bro.

#525

⇓

Hold on. Shut up.

#526

⇓

Wh-Why is the soiled fool talking to me?

#527

⇓

I don't need you anymore, Charlie.

#528

⇓

I'd like a divorce.

#529

⇓

Ooh! Juicy!

#530

⇓

Wait, what are you talking about?

#531

⇓

I know you were gonna leave me for the Queen of Thrones, so

#532

⇓

I've slept with Mac to humiliate you.

#533

⇓

She's humiliated you and herself by sleeping with me.

#534

⇓

I'm good at the game now.

#535

⇓

Oh, my God, Dee, you stupid idiot.

#536

⇓

Do you... do you have a brain in your head?

#537

⇓

I was tricking that girl, so that I could destroy her tribe.

#538

⇓

We're the most powerful tribe in the whole game now!

#539

⇓

What are you doing?!

#540

⇓

Uh... you know, I-I guess maybe I hadn't really thought

#541

⇓

the whole thing through.

#542

⇓

No, you didn't think!

#543

⇓

Because you don't think!

#544

⇓

You're just a stupid kept housewife, okay?

#545

⇓

Zing it, girl!

#546

⇓

Frank, shut the hell up!

#547

⇓

How dare you all conspire against me?

#548

⇓

How dare you?!

#549

⇓

You know what, I want everyone out.

#550

⇓

Everyone get out of my apartment, okay?

#551

⇓

No, not you, not you, and not you.

#552

⇓

The three of you, sit!

#553

⇓

Get out!

#554

⇓

Okay, I think we can all agree that this game is the most

#555

⇓

important thing that ever happened to us, right?

#556

⇓

Absolutely, yeah... It's very important... That's the truth.

#557

⇓

It's a hugely important thing!

#558

⇓

So because I'm a nice guy, you know, 'cause I'm a cool dude,

#559

⇓

I'll let you live, all right?

#560

⇓

But, Mac and Frank, you got to give me your shares of Paddy's Pub.

#561

⇓

Done!

#562

⇓

What?

#563

⇓

Yes!

#564

⇓

And, Dee, you're gonna have to do all the Charlie-work in the

#565

⇓

bar from here until... oh, I don't know... how's eternity sound?

#566

⇓

Stop... This game has gone on long enough.

#567

⇓

Uh, shit.

#568

⇓

Are you doing an accent?

#569

⇓

Yeah, I was doing a British acc... It was a British accent.

#570

⇓

That was British?!

#571

⇓

Yeah, I had it so good in my head... uh, I was doing a really

#572

⇓

good British accent.

#573

⇓

Doesn't matter. Anyway... Charlie, you think you have all the power?

#574

⇓

Well, you don't.

#575

⇓

You see, the only thing bigger than a king is a god.

#576

⇓

You think you're a god?

#577

⇓

I'm the one who's thriving, Dennis.

#578

⇓

I mean, look at me.

#579

⇓

You look like you're covered in Hawaiian Punch.

#580

⇓

Yeah?

#581

⇓

Yeah.

#582

⇓

Eh.

#583

⇓

I am the god of my own universe, Charlie.

#584

⇓

I decide my own reality, and I've decided all of your realities as well.

#585

⇓

So, you see, I unplugged it.

#586

⇓

You... unplugged reality?

#587

⇓

I don't understand what he's saying.

#588

⇓

Me neither.

#589

⇓

I just... I deleted all of your characters from the game.

#590

⇓

What?

#591

⇓

I erased all your... people.

#592

⇓

H-How did you do that?

#593

⇓

Well, it was easy.

#594

⇓

You guys all have the same password, "paddyspub."

#595

⇓

Oh, that's my password for everything.

#596

⇓

Mine, too.

#597

⇓

Why would you do that though?

#598

⇓

Why would you delete our characters?

#599

⇓

Because the goddamn game was irritating to me.

#600

⇓

I thought it was really stupid, and it really is just, you know,

#601

⇓

sort of that simple, so I ended the game, you know.

#602

⇓

That's the end.

#603

⇓

Doesn't have to be a whole big thing every single time, you know.

#604

⇓

That's life.

#605

⇓

That's just sort of how-how shit goes.

#606

⇓

Sometimes things just sort of... end.

#607

⇓

* All night long *

#608

⇓

* All night *

#609

⇓

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

#610

⇓

Okay, so it's called TechPocalypse, right?

#611

⇓

And we're post-apocalypse, and we have to rebuild civilization.

#612

⇓

This is me, ZingingCutie23.

#613

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down!

#614

⇓

ZingingCutie 23.

#615

⇓

- No. - It seems like it.

#617

⇓

It's a random number?

#619

⇓

It's a number to put at the end of that. You know what?

#620

⇓

Okay. Okay. Wait.

#623

⇓

Hold on a second. What is that?

#624

⇓

That's you.

#625

⇓

You're one of my subjects.

#626

⇓

That's me.

#627

⇓

Why am I in the game?

#628

⇓

Is that Mac?

#629

⇓

Of course that's Mac.

#630

⇓

You guys are all here.

#631

⇓

See, Mac's my handmaiden.

#632

⇓

How do you do?

#633

⇓

How do you do?

#634

⇓

And Dennis is a midget blacksmith.

#635

⇓

And you're my jester.

#637

⇓

Why am I eating out of a trough?

#638

⇓

Made sense.

#639

⇓

Are you kidding me?

#640

⇓

So let me get this straight.

#641

⇓

You've been playing this game for, like, a week straight just

#642

⇓

so you feel like you lord over all of us? Is that what this is?

#643

⇓

I want my five dollars.

#645

⇓

It's just pathetic, Dee.

#646

⇓

Okay, well, maybe it is.

#647

⇓

Maybe it isn't.

#648

⇓

I really do need the money, though.

#649

⇓

Yeah, well, then get to work.

#650

⇓

Can you give me an advance?

#651

⇓

No, not in advance.

#652

⇓

We'll see how well you do.

#653

⇓

I got this.

#655

⇓

Yeah?

#661

⇓

This is real.

#662

⇓

It's real, but it feels weird as shit.

#663

⇓

There's nobody else in the bar dancing.

#664

⇓

I'm stopping.

#667

⇓

Oh, come on, don't stop.

#668

⇓

Look, all right, let's go do some shots, and that will get

#669

⇓

you guys fired up, and we'll come back out, and we'll do some

#670

⇓

more of this or whatever.

#671

⇓

You know, you can do the move, and... well, come on, come on, come on, come on.

#672

⇓

Hey, uh, bartender, three shots of whiskey, come on.

#673

⇓

Hey, I know you guys.

#674

⇓

You're the donkey man and the princess, right?

#675

⇓

We don't know what you're talking about.

#676

⇓

Take a hike, Bozo.

#677

⇓

Geek.

#678

⇓

Check it out. Look at this.

#679

⇓

This is... this is you, right?

#680

⇓

This-this is Frank and-and Mac from ZingingCutie's tribe?

#681

⇓

What the hell is this?

#682

⇓

This is Dee's online video game, and she's created characters for all of us.

#683

⇓

She's humiliating us virtually.

#684

⇓

Who cares? It's a video game.

#685

⇓

What do you mean, who cares?

#686

⇓

This is starting to piss me off.

#687

⇓

Stop getting invested in fake realities.

#688

⇓

Let's live real life!

#689

⇓

Are you feeling it?

#691

⇓

Are you feeling it?

#692

⇓

Yeah, well, it's not real.

#693

⇓

I-I-I... I'm angry.

#695

⇓

Okay, it's not real, and you know what it also isn't?

#696

⇓

It also isn't epic, okay?

#697

⇓

And you know what is epic?

#698

⇓

Come on, do it, do the shots.

#700

⇓

I'll do the shots.

#701

⇓

I'll just do the shots.

#702

⇓

How about that?

#703

⇓

Mm-hmm.

#704

⇓

Oh, somebody got a smart phone.

#705

⇓

Okay, you know, I tell you what, Carl.

#706

⇓

Let's settle for a C trade.

#707

⇓

We'll call it a day on that.

#708

⇓

I got to run.

#709

⇓

ZingingCutie44 is back, so I'm out.

#710

⇓

Changed your name.

#711

⇓

What the hell are you doing, Charlie?

#712

⇓

I told you to just feed my crops.

#713

⇓

I did, I fed your crops, and then I gathered some rocks, and

#714

⇓

I built a little wall around your tribe.

#715

⇓

Then I used the leftover rocks to dam the river so that you could fish.

#716

⇓

You sucked at it, all right?

#718

⇓