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Show: Episode: Per page: 🎲 Surprise Me

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Yeah. That's too bad.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#241

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Why don't you come on out of there, big guy.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#242

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Wanna toss that puppy in the trash for me?

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#243

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- Yeah. - Good.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#244

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Saxophones do not belong in rap music.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#245

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You were gonna make it rain, huh?

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#246

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Wet notebooks part of the rap thing?

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#247

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- No.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#248

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- All right.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#249

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Now look, I realize I haven't been

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#250

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making the most of your time, but that is gonna

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#251

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start to change as of right now.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#252

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As I mentioned, I've been trying to mentally

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#253

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break my nemesis, Miles Leonard.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#254

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He currently has the job that is rightfully mine,

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#255

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and I want it back.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#256

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He seems to be winning at the moment,

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#257

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but by the time we're done with him,

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#258

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he's gonna be in a loony bin begging for death.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#259

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- Don't you think you'd have a better chance

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#260

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of getting the job if you focused on working hard

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#261

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as opposed to trying to make him go crazy?

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#262

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- No, you see my actions are justified

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#263

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because they produce a better outcome

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#264

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than any other action in this particular case.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#265

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It's a basic philosophy,

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#266

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act utilitarianism, Jeremy Bentham.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#267

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Stop writing that down.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#268

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Now I happen to know that Miles is currently single.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#269

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So your assignment for today is to catfish him

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#270

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on his Facebook page.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#271

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What are you guys waiting for? Catfish!

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#272

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Write a flirty Facebook message,

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#273

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you know, using a fake name.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#274

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You call yourself, like, Linda,

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#275

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and we'll send the best one to Miles.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#276

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All right, look, at this point you guys should all be

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#277

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.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#278

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- So if you Google Jack Griffin,

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#279

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the first ten results are this video.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#280

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- "Old dude handles slightly less old dude."

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#281

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- Whoa.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#282

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Okay, everybody, begin to shut up.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#283

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Let's everyone shut your mouths now

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#284

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and settle into your chairs.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#285

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All right, let's hear some of these catfish messages.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#286

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You wanna start? - Please no.

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#287

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- All right. Prince of Darkness,

A P Bio
S01E01 — Catfish
#288

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