🎲 Surprise Me

Results (6345)

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Yeah. That's too bad.
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Why don't you come on out of there, big guy.
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Wanna toss that puppy in the trash for me?
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- Yeah. - Good.
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Saxophones do not belong in rap music.
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You were gonna make it rain, huh?
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Wet notebooks part of the rap thing?
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- All right.
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Now look, I realize I haven't been
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making the most of your time, but that is gonna
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start to change as of right now.
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As I mentioned, I've been trying to mentally
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break my nemesis, Miles Leonard.
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He currently has the job that is rightfully mine,
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and I want it back.
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He seems to be winning at the moment,
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but by the time we're done with him,
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he's gonna be in a loony bin begging for death.
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- Don't you think you'd have a better chance
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of getting the job if you focused on working hard
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as opposed to trying to make him go crazy?
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- No, you see my actions are justified
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because they produce a better outcome
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than any other action in this particular case.
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It's a basic philosophy,
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act utilitarianism, Jeremy Bentham.
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Stop writing that down.
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Now I happen to know that Miles is currently single.
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So your assignment for today is to catfish him
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on his Facebook page.
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What are you guys waiting for? Catfish!
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Write a flirty Facebook message,
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you know, using a fake name.
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You call yourself, like, Linda,
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and we'll send the best one to Miles.
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All right, look, at this point you guys should all be
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- So if you Google Jack Griffin,
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the first ten results are this video.
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- "Old dude handles slightly less old dude."
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Okay, everybody, begin to shut up.
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Let's everyone shut your mouths now
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and settle into your chairs.
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All right, let's hear some of these catfish messages.
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You wanna start? - Please no.
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- All right. Prince of Darkness,