🎲 Surprise Me

Results (1071)

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- What's going on? - I'm in love with my pen pal.
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I'm in love with Mieke.
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You know what? I was actually expecting this.
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And frankly, no, listen, I'm flattered you picked me to come out to first.
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And don't worry about telling your folks, 'cause...
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- I think they already know. - No, you idiot. Mieke is a girl.
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No, no, I get it. Yeah. He's the girl, and you're the girl,
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and sometimes you're both the girl.
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Right? Right? That's hot.
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But whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it.
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Will you stop? Look, come here. Look at this picture.
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Wow. Who's the hot chick?
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That's Mieke. I mean, "Meeka."
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Wait, that's Mieke? That's who you've been writing to all this time?
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Yeah, you know, until last night, when I took your advice
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and told her to keep her hands off my genitals.
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Given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.
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- This is a total disaster. - Oh, come on. It's not that bad.
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Though she is really hot.
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You're not listening. I don't even care what she looks like.
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Mieke and I, we had this incredible bond.
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I told her things I couldn't even tell you.
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- Like what? - Nothing. It's a figure of speech.
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- Seriously. What? - Nothing. The point is--
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- You like me better, right? - Will you stop? Listen.
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This girl is not only smart and funny and stunningly beautiful,
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but until I screwed up,
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she actually wanted to come all the way to America just to be with me.
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- So do something about it. - What can I do?
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She blocked her email account. Her phone number's not listed.
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The only thing I know is that she lives in Berlin.
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- I can't just go to Berlin, Coop. - Why not?
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Because I just can't, okay? I'm supposed to work for my dad this summer.
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That stuff looks really good on my med school application.
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Man, Fiona was right. You're so predictable.
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- I'm going to Germany. - No. We're going to Germany.
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- How are we going to get to Germany? - Don't worry. I've got it covered.
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- We're going to be couriers? - It's the best way to get a cheap flight.
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All we have to do is carry their packages and then drop them off when we get there.
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- My cousin did it when he went to India. - Yeah?
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Yeah. Of course, he ended up using a public restroom in New Delhi
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and they had to cut off his leg. You know.
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But he got there cheap, is what I'm saying.
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Okay, I don't have anything to Germany for a week.
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But I can get you both to London today for $118.