🎲 Surprise Me

Results (1545)

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Jesus, listen to this one.
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"Do you remember me, airport shuttle, June 7?"
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"You, striking blond with yellow dress..."
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"pearl necklace, brown shoes."
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"I was the bookish fellow in the green cardigan..."
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"who helped you find your contact lens."
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"Am I crazy, or did we have a moment?"
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I mean, she probably didn't even notice him.
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And he's psychotically obsessing over every little detail.
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We should call him and pretend to be the blond.
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Of course I remember you.
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Let's get together for lunch sometime.
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How about Friday at 1:00?
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Meet me at my favorite restaurant... Wowsville.
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It's in the mall on Century Parkway.
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Oh, yeah, and be sure to wear that sexy green cardigan.
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Oh, it's that comedian I was telling you about.
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- I still live with my mother. - He's the absolute worst.
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So what if she's been dead for fifteen years?
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See? That's barely even a joke.
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Well, it's like I always say...
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Joey McCobb, the weirdest man in show business.
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If he's so weird, how come he's wearing Nikes?
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- I want to do him. - I bet.
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Actually, he kind of reminds me...
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of that one guy you went out with... Larry.
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God, what look was he going for...
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a gay tennis player from the Forties?
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- Fuck you. - You dated him.
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I don't know. You lent it to me in, like, tenth grade.
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Oh, look at how cute I am.
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Look, there's my dad with Maxine.
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God, look at her. What a fucking monster.
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If he starts dating her again, I'll kill myself.
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Listen, lady, you tell me you want to relax your hair.
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Sing it a lullaby or use this. It's all I've got.
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You have five minutes left on your shift.