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Anyway, I'm going for it.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#118

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- [whispers] Infection. - Infection?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#119

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That's my girl. Moving on.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#120

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- I knew the answer. - I'm sure you did.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#121

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- I'm just frazzled. - How could you not be?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#122

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- With the... - I know, yeah.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#123

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Thanks. If there's anything I can do for you...

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#124

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You could let me take you to dinner tomorrow night.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#125

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Around seven?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#126

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Or eight?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#127

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Why not?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#128

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Nice!

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#129

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"Why not?"

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#131

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Daddy, why did you marry Mommy?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#132

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and she screwed my brains out.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#134

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[more laughter]

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#136

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[TV audience whoops]

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#137

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Did you actually just page me

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#139

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to find out how much Tylenol to give to Mrs. Lenzer?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#140

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I was worried it could exacerbate...

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#141

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It's regular-strength Tylenol. Here's what you do.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#142

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Get her to open her mouth, take a handful, and throw it at her.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#143

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Whatever sticks, that's the correct dosage.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#144

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And under no circumstances are you to compromise our no-talking agreement.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#145

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Dr. Kelso is always saying "You gotta stay posi..."

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#146

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I'm gonna go ahead and say this just as carefully as possible,

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#147

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so I don't overstate it.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#148

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Dr. Kelso is the most evil human being on the planet

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#149

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and may in fact be Satan himself.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#150

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It's just that this isn't what I expected, you know?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#151

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Most of my patients are...

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#152

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older, and sorta checked-out, mentally.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#153

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Pumpkin, that's modern medicine.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#154

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Advances that keep people alive who should've died a long time ago.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#155

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Back when they lost what made them people.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#156

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Now, your job is to stay sane enough

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#157

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so when someone does come in that you actually can help,

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#158

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you're not so brain-dead you can't function.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#159

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For the love of God, what?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#160

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Should we be talking about this in front of...

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#161

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Her? She's dead.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#162

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Write this down, newbie. If you push around a stiff,

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#163

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nobody'll ask you to do anything.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#164

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You've been like a father to me.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#165

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Fair enough. Want some real advice?

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#166

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If they find out nurses are doing your procedures,

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#167

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you'll be kicked out so quick, your head will spin.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#168

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And there it is.

Scrubs
S01E01 — My First Day
#169

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