🎲 Surprise Me

Results (63910)

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made me play sports, date girls. I'm joking.
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I know. I would've laughed if you'd paused.
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Anyway, I know what you're thinking.
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- No, you don't. - I'm Miss "Hyper-Competitive."
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It used to be a big problem for me. Used to. Past tense.
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Are we, like, racing?
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Please, I'm not that desperate.
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- [pants] - So, you do a lot of cardio?
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Elliot Reid? John Dorian? Great.
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One, I am your resident, Dr. Jeffrey Steadman. Not "Jeff".
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Two, here are your manuals.
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I am a tool. I am a tool. I am a tool, tool, tool.
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- An unbelievably annoying tool. - Yeah.
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Yeah. Finally, these are your beepers. From now on, they control your life.
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Okay? Thanks. Move it.
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- I was, uh, I was paged. - Oh, first day, Bambi?
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Carla will take care of you. Don't look at me when we're moving someone.
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- We're waiting for Dr. Cox. - [J.D.] Hi, doctor...
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- Place an IV for me. - We'll talk later.
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Carla, can I ask you a question?
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Do you spray the perfume on or fill your bathtub up
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- and splash around in it? - I smell nice.
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[whistles] Time's up. Carla, will you do it?
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- I need an ABG. - Why are you telling her?
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- Shut up and watch. - Be nice to Bambi.
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Why has this gomer got to try and die every day during my lunch?
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- That's a little insensitive. - [thunder]
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Man's 92, has full dementia. He doesn't know we're here.
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He is inches from Carla's rack and hasn't even flinched.
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- Aw, that is so sweet. - Yeah, it is.
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What about his subconscious?
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Eisenhower... was a sissy.
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I think by the grace of God, we're gonna be okay.
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Oh, and from now on, whenever I'm in the room,
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you're definitely not allowed to talk.
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Now, Dr. Dorian, can you tell me what ailment most often...
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- [bell] - What is uremia?
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That's my boy. Hey, nice clean job on the foley catheter.
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Dr. Reid, you're late.
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I got puked on.
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You're off the hook if you can tell me what to look for in a uremic patient.